We Argue With Ourselves

We argue with Ourselves

Political debates over living policy

Unsure of anything

Afraid of reality

Afraid of Our delusions

Can hardly tell what is real

Afraid which ever one We choose

Is going to kill Us all

- Andrew, We

Genderfluid

Sometimes I am a boy

And sometimes I am a girl.

It all makes perfect sense in their certain seasons

"This is who I am

And this is who I will be".

But then it slips

And you are switching into something else.

Now you want these things,

This is who you are, were, and will always be.

Other times it's not so severe.

You know you will change again.

You play into the ride, and love it all the way through.

Yet

There have been times

When it is as if someone is trying to kill me,

Like they are trying to steal my life

Replacing it with what they dream.

Today I am in love with her

Today I am in love with him

I change with my gender,

Maybe it doesn't mean the same I?

I'm still here

And it isn't always so bad.

Sometimes I am just amazing

A special creature

Unlike any around.

I can relish it

And I can loath it.

This has always been my life though

And it gives me a certain kind

Of pleasurable pride.

- me, my writing, personal, Andrew

Want

There is a hole in me

I am unable to fill.

An old dream

Night after night.

I can pretend it doesn't exist

And sometimes even

Believe it.

However

Time and time again

I am overcome by a need

And it is as if nothing has ever changed.

- Me, Andrew

Sometimes

We,

Lose the concept of what is real.

Our body loses reality

Our mind its dream

Something else...

Somewhere else...

I don't know what it is.

Lost

Lost

Lost

Twisting

Running

Falling forever

It isn't real

Nothing is

I am nothing to hang on with

- We, me, Andrew

I want to break things

Me on my ascension day