I Want One

I want one 🥺🥺

Having a Yautja Hunting Hound Would Include:

● They are incredibly protective. Your hound would literally lay down its life for you if it comes to that. Yours will follow you everywhere. And if it thinks you’re approaching something dangerous? Tug! You’d be startled to find them latched on to the back of your robe, gently tugging you to a safer area.

● They are loyal to the end. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is stopping this thing. They are dedicated thick-skinned troopers. Even hurt, your hound will faithfully stand beside you, no matter what may come.

● Training them is so much fun! Did you know that adult lions will exaggerate pain when a cub attacks them? Indeed, they do! It’s to encourage the little lions. This same principle applies to yautja hounds. You’ll be surprised the first time your tiny pup launches itself at your mate–only for him to collapse and roar with feigned terror.

● They take themselves way too seriously. Even as a puppy, yautja hounds think they are the scariest beasts to ever walk the universe. They’ll strut about, looking majestic, only to be startled by your sneeze.

● You can ride them. Yes, the day has finally come: your own ridable pet! While yautja are far too large, you (a tiny ooman) can easily ride a fully-grown hunting hound. In fact, your mate would surprise you one day with a saddle. Remember: once full-grown, a yautja hound is closer in size to a massive bear. That, plus their extreme strength makes carrying you an easy task.

● They are a hardy species. The first time your hound was severely injured, you’d been heartbroken. As you’d sobbed over the whimpering pup, you’d begged your mate not to put them down. He’d cocked his had, utterly baffled by your words. “Why would I do that?” You were sure it’d at least have a limp–and you knew the Yautja didn’t tolerate weakness. To your disbelief, however, the next morning saw your little troublemaker up and about, ready for another walk.

So a while ago you made headcanons about kitty-slasher (which were super adorable) and recently I was thinking... what would Yautja (is that spelled right?) be like as cats? I imagine they would be the like my cousin's cat; always getting into fights outside the house but extremely cuddly and loveable inside the house. What do you think?

I agree. Yautja already share many behavioral traits with felines. After all, they love to hunt and purr; their society is also centered around strength and survival.

Yautja as a Cat…

● Hierarchy of strength. The alpha gets the best spots–that’s just how it goes. Of course, there are always your other cats trying to test the boundaries. Simply put, your lil’ mate is probably kicking butt on a daily basis. Did another cat lay in their spot? *Sniff sniff, opens jaw* Uh-oh, someone’s getting paw-slapped.

Note: Being a master tactician, they won’t attack right away. Instead, they’ll lull your other cat into a false sense of security before exacting justice.

● Really weird gifts. A dead bird? But of course! Your cat is a master of the hunt–unparalleled in their cunning and stealth. Chest lifted in pride, you’ll get to see some extra smug strutting. I see you’ve found my gift, (Y/N). Indeed, you’re in the presence of the ultimate bringer of death. 

● Super Tough but Secretly Snuggly. Oh, you know your lil’ mate would purr just for you. Fresh from a fight (which you may or may not have broken up), they’ll prance on inside, hopping onto your lap for snuggles.

● Protective. Are you carrying them upstairs? If anyone–human or cat–threatens you, prepare for low growls. Translation: Don’t even think about messing with us!

● Lots of scars. Anyone who looks at your cat is immediately intimidated. Lumber across the room like a miniature puma, their energy screams ‘badass’.

BONUS:

How they act on catnip…

Run away! Eyes as round as saucers, your yautja will attack anything that moves. *Looks at inanimate object* IT MOVED!!! *Launches self at the soon-to-be-destroyed item*

Cloaking practice. “Yautja, I can see you!” No, yautja is hidden–invisible to ooman detection. Yautja is master of hiding. Poke their exposed lower half and enjoy the chaotic death rolls.

Their favorite toy…

Ping pong balls. After all, your little destroyer needs a challenge–something that won’t just submit to death. *Bats ball with paw* Where are you going? You cannot escape your doom!

Their favorite place to sleep…

On your bed. After the introduction of a heated blanket, it’d be their spot. Habitually kneading their claws into the soft fabric, it would quickly become a mess of random tufts.

In trees. Your fluffy tyrant is a skilled climber. “You want outside?” Once you open the door, they’ll make a bee-line for their tree. (Note: They have a specific branch. If any feline uses it, your cat will chase them off.)

Sleep sensitivity…

It depends on the location. In your room with the door closed? They’ll be dead to the world. In a tree? Sleep-balancing. Honestly, they’re a little ninja.

What bothers them…

PDA. Are you outside? No, get away from me! Don’t let the other cats see us together! What if they lost respect for your cat? What if they stopped fearing the claws? The harder you try, the faster your cat will be to dart away. Turn to them? *Leaves* “I was looking for the other cat!”

Level of Clinginess…

Words aren’t needed. You have a silent understanding. While your cat isn’t lap-cat friendly, they’re loyal to you and you alone. Whenever you’re in private, that’s when the snuggling occurs. They also only listen to you. Simply put, your cat is a wild animal that cannot be tamed–unless they hear your voice. Puuuuuuurrrrr.

How they beg for food…

There will be no begging. Your yautja is a master of survival. Food? You mean their prey? Of course, they’d be more than willing to accept treats. But begging? No. They’re just too mighty for that.

🌬🍃

Slashers’ Reaction to Getting High

@elliotenabled: The idea of Michael getting high and just…staring at his knife amuses me greatly. I’d really love to know all the slashers response to getting high xD

Jason Voorhees

He’d have deep thoughts. Have you ever noticed how bright the stars are? They’re just…billions of suns. What if one of them has its own earth? And what if that earth has its own (Y/N)? And what if it has its own Jason and (Y/N)? *Reaches out to hold your hand*

Is this why people get high? Oh…he sees it, now. *Pats his masked face, smushing his nose down in the process* (Y/N)? (Y/N), he can’t breathe! *Starts shaking with giggles* Oh wait, that’s cause he was smushing his face… *Continues giggle-smushing*

Thomas Hewitt

You’re so beautiful, (Y/N). No! So handsome… No! So…(Y/N)…you’re so (Y/N)-esque, (Y/N). *Grins like a stoned fool* He’d play with his own hair then try to braid it into yours. Together forever…

He’d try to make you a gift. Emphasis on try. You deserve something wonderful–like you! But what? Oh! How about a leather bracelet? But what if you don’t like human leather? *Puppy-face-levels of sadness* 

He’d get playful. Really playful. Are you on a walk? (Because you didn’t want Hoyt ruining your high?) Oh, (Y/N)…guess who’s about to get tickled! *Chases after you, intent on making you squeal with laughter*

Michael Myers

Stares at his knife for an entire hour. So sharp, so deadly, so…shiny. *Turns it this-way-and-that in the light, admiring its reflective properties*

Stares at his own reflection. His eyes are like bottomless pits of blackness surrounded by an arctic ocean of blue… *Imagines drowning victims in his eyes* And his hair…is like a lion’s mane. *Bares teeth and studies his canines* Yes, he is the king of beasts–the most deadly of all Michaels.

Brahms Heelshire

He’d be very cuddly. Eskimo kisses are his weapon of choice. Wrapping you both up in a fuzzy blanket, he’d rub his face against you. Oh, your skin is so soft, (Y/N)! 

Takes too much…turns into an utter dumpster fire. That is Brahms. Paranoia, anxiety–anxious paranoia with a touch of panic. (Y/N)?! Where is his (Y/N)?! *Finds you literally making him a PBJ because it’s what. he. asked. for* Oh, sweet (Y/N)! He thought he’d lost you forever! *Rushes forward to embrace you* Never leave his side again!

Wukong: Macaque, beloved,

Macaque: uh oh.

Wukong: plum pie, dearest,

Macaque, standing up: uh oh.

Wukong: love of my life, mango, nightlight,

Macaque, turning away: o h n o-

Wukong: the moon to my sun,

Macaque, one foot out the window: s hi t

Wukong, ready to commit murder (again): did you fucking eat my cereal.