Batmannnhonestly - Batman - Tumblr Blog

can I come over to your house and pet your cats and not say anything

I told my wife, “My favourite condiment has to be Worcestershire sauce.” 

Her: Why?

Me: Well, it’s….hard to say.

Batman: Arkham Asylum (2009)

Every adaptation of Harleen Quinzel, a never-ending list [8/?]

Just so you know the soap may smell good but it tastes even better so don’t hesitate to do it.

do it gang be the cringe you want to see

The problem with Batman in his present incarnation is that we need simultaneously to believe that this is a man who can effortlessly ninja his way through dozens of gun-toting mercenaries, and that this is a man to whom Danny DeVito with an umbrella is a credible threat.

a Batman-themed eyeshadow palette except, in an effort to stay true to the character, the eyeshadow powder is made from asbestos and nuclear waste

revised my batman design a bit

im just different

"I would be a great Batman!" or "Everyone can be Batman!"

Uhm.... No? Are you richer than God? Are you an orphan without parental supervision? Can you tank like 6 bullets to the chest? No. Like, you can only talk being Batman when you're a quadrillionare and physics aren't a thing please and thank you.

HELP IM GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF THIS MEME I MADE

Gotham New Year celebrations are just ‘Are my neighbours celebrating the New Year for three nights straight with fireworks or are the loud bangs just a result of having an apartment in Crime Alley?”

No

yes

Bet you won’t see this until I maybe bring it up

You're never gonna guess whos home im in right now

Your like an anti doulingo bird and that enrages me

Instead of me fearing the duolingo bird the duolingo bird fears me. Do with that information what you will.

The blind ones the first to go

This is very ominous and I feel threatened

Uwu “ pushes you infront a car cutely”

OwO teehee ***sets your home on fire cutely***

Roses Are red violets are blue I have stolen your kazoo.

You pumerous glub of gum I think even rob boss judges you

Mmmm yummo gummo

You stale coffee pot you’ll never be Harry Potter or bugs bunny. You will never be as clever or witty as him give up you moldy shower curtain

Ok broski. Ok dude man. You're being a bit aggressive there man bro. I am an amazing wizard I just refuse to show how powerful I am because the universe would collapse.

Paper fries are better then real ones

I say no. And my opinion is the only correct one so therefore you are wrong.

Your like the pulp in orange juice

How DARE thee. Why art thou so cruel? If I am the pulp in the juices of orange then thou is a stale fry

Sometimes I message my friends and they don't answer and then I remind myself like, hey, most normal people with good sleep schedules aren't awake at 2:00 am