He's So Pretty Every Time I See This Im Like

He's so pretty every time i see this im like

wow

omg

woahhhh

JEONGHAN F*ck My Life, 230504

I swear-

I was holding my boob today - because it warm and soft - and my friend looked at and was like

"Are you horny??"

LIKE no JaCoB I'm not horny I just like to HOLD it

He was like -

I guess men just don't understand because they don't have big titties...

YES

house rules

▸ michael kaiser x reader

▸ 1.2k words

▸ roommate au, lots and lots of bickering

when you find out about kaiser's unorthodox morning routine, you instantly regret having him as your roommate

one peaceful morning.

all you're asking for is one peaceful morning.

the muffled sound of house music reverberates from the bathroom and you stalk over with heavy footsteps, still rubbing the drowsiness from your eyes. your neighbor's most recent complaint about noise coming from your apartment resurfaces in your mind and though you've told your stubborn roommate to keep it down before, kaiser was never one to listen.

"kaiser?" you rap at the bathroom door, raising your voice a little so he could hear you above the loud noise. "kaiser, keep the music down. it's only 5 in the morn—OH MY GOD.”

the door wasn't locked. heck, it turns out it wasn't even properly closed because all it took was your fist touching the hardwood surface for it to freely swing open.

and nothing in the world could have ever prepared you for the sight you were about to witness—because in the very split second of shock that left you standing stock-still, all you see is kaiser standing in front of the mirror, both hands firm on either side of his hips, butt naked.

as soon as you recover from the initial shock, you recoil back into the hall, clawing at your face and genuinely considering gauging your eyes out. "what the fuck are you doing?! ever heard of locking the door?!"

what makes matters even worse—a talent that comes so naturally for a troublemaker like kaiser—is that your shameless roommate is completely unperturbed by your intrusion.

"can i help you?" he asks, having the audacity to sound slightly peeved that you've interrupted whatever he was doing in there.

"th-the neighbor—the, um, the music! can you— ugh, can you put on some fucking clothes first?" your speaking to him with your palm still shielding your eyes and when he doesn't say anything, you make the mistake of peeking through your fingers, which grants you an unpleasant view of kaiser's ass cheeks as he turns around to shut the music off.

"what was that?"

judging by how clearer his voice sounds now, you assume he's already facing you again—and you do not want to make the same mistake twice. "have some decency and put on some clothes first, you pervert."

"what? never seen a nude man before?" to your absolute horror, you can feel kaiser inching towards you by the sound of his voice growing near.

"kaiser," you say through gritted teeth, "i swear to god, keep this up and i'm kicking you out in an hour."

“aw, darling. don’t be—”

“don’t test me, kaiser! the lease is under my name so i'm more than entitled to evict you from here. i can pack all your things under a—scratch that, i'll throw all your junk out the window so i hope you're good at catching—"

"alright, alright," kaiser clicks his tongue. "sheesh, so uptight all the time."

you pace down the hall for a moment to give him plenty of space to put something on, and as soon as you hear footsteps padding behind you, you hold a forefinger up to tell him to stop before you turn on your heel.

"are you wearing something?" only now do you realize you can never be too careful.

"ya."

"okay."

when you do turn around, you're still somewhat startled by the fact that he's only chosen to wrap a towel around his waist, very loosely at that too.

as you try to recall why you approached him in the first place, you find it almost impossible to further the conversation for two stupid reasons: 1) the looseness of his towel is keeping you in constant fear that it's going to drop to the floor any second now; 2) you're only now realizing that just his bare upper body has... a lot on display.

your eyes follow the way his hand brushes the longer strands of his hair over his shoulders, how the natural blonde blends into a shade of blue that almost matches the color of his tattoo. you've seen the vines and roses before, whenever he walks around in just a muscle tee, but you didn't know one of the leaves dip into his chest.

his toned bare chest is one thing, his chiseled abdomen another, but your gaze continues to roam down the length of his torso until you reach his navel and notice the loose towel is giving you a view of his v-lines that dip into—

"can you give me a heads-up next time, darling?" he smirks.

"w-what?" you stutter, finally feeling heat spread from your cheeks to your ears.

"i need to know how long you're gonna take to ogle over my god-like body, or you could just take a picture, it'll last longer. better yet, i've got a good one, i can send it to you—"

“i don’t want your fucking nudes, oh my god. you know what? i've been way too lenient considering all the bullshit you put me through. we need to set some house rules."

he shrugs. "fine with me, i guess. dunno why you're getting so worked up when you're being blessed with the sight of my—"

"kaiser, shut up. please, just shut. up."

he throws his hands up into the air in surrender before crossing them over his chest and leaning one shoulder against the wall. "anyway, what did you need? you interrupted my precious morning routine that i gotta start over now."

his morning routine includes staring at himself butt naked in the mirror at the ungodly hours of dawn? you truly rue the day you made the dumbest decision to let him live with you.

"music. no loud music before 8 a.m., for the love of god." you pinch the bridge of your noise, before muttering to yourself, "first it was your late night trysts and now this."

"sure, yeah, but are you okay with listening to me talk to myself, then? i play the music so you won't have to hear me."

"yeah, it's fine. whatever." the apartment walls are more soundproof than the walls within your unit, but as long as kaiser didn't cause any more trouble with the neighbors, you could put up with it.

"cool. is that all?"

"lock the fucking door."

"yeah, yeah, as you wish, your highness," he says, waving his hand as he makes his way back into the bathroom. you wait for a moment to hear the lock click in place.

thank god.

as you return to your room, completely bewildered by the sheer madness you have to deal with so early in the morning, you pause at the sound of kaiser's muffled voice.

i am michael kaiser. i am god's chosen emperor. i am the best fucking striker in the world. i am leagues better than isagi yoichi. i am michael kaiser. i am—

the very first thing you're going to do that day is invest in some good quality earplugs.

Someone help

im trying to read

Demimondaine b

by yeonjuncore who deactivated but i can't because every reblog is linked!!!

does someone have it because im dyinggggggggg

SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEE

i lost a tumblr and all i remember it that it started with moon and they wrote seventeen and blue lock fics and theyre like my comfort fanfic writer and i go back to read their works sometimes and I can't find it in my liked or following anywherr

they wrote on where mc and kaiser were like chaebols and supposed to get married and kasier took her on three dates and then they got married and there was this whole part where he joked about being infertile and she was like im not good with children and they repeated the conversation at the end in like reassurance and there was this whole thing about calling him mihya as like his childhood nickname.....

Im rambling BUT THE POINT IS im freaking out that i can't find it cause i havent been in here forever and don't know what happened and im gonna cry.

SEriously tho if you see this and you know please reblog or comment the name of the writer or even the fanfic name...

I would love you frvr

DO It

i literally gushed about my crush for an hour

mutuals do this