"I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!"

"I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!"

"MARIO IS A BITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER! HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE!"

"THAT'S RIGHT, HE PULLED HIS FUCKING PLUMBER PANTS DOWN, AND HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE! AND HE SAID HIS DICK WAS 'this-a big!' AND I SAID 'THAT'S DISGUSTING!'"

"SO I'M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TWITTER.COM: MARIO, YOU GOT A SMALL DICK, IT'S THE SIZE OF THIS MUSHROOM EXCEPT WAY SMALLER. AND GUESS WHAT? HERE'S WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE!"

(explosion)

"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, ALL SPIKES ALL SCALES! LOOK AT THAT, IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG!"

"HE FUCKED MY WIFE SO GUESS WHAT? I'M GONNA FUCK THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM! THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET: MY SUPER FIRE PISS!"

"EXCEPT I'M NOT GONNA PISS ON THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM. I'M GONNA GO BIGGER. I'M PISSING ON BROOKLYN!"

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, PLUMBER BROS?! I PISSED ON BROOKLYN, YOU IDIOTS!"

"YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DRRROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING CITY! NOW GET OUT OF MY FUCKING SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU, TOO!"

Have those types of people even played any of the Kid Icarus games? Especially Uprising. Pit may be a quirky lil' bean, but he literally kicks the literal God of the Underworld's ass.

Day 67 of saying random stuff until a new Kid Icarus

You know my least favorite part of Kid Icarus shipping fanfics? It's not even the ships themselves, it's how the fics protray Pit.

Usually in most fanfics, he's, to quote TV Tropes, "Flanderized as a girly wuss who can't do anything" and I agree. All the Link x Pit fanfics I've read really makes him like that.

It's fine making Pit an Uke or whatever, but at least give him some of his original personality. Where's his eagerness to fight, his energy, and his ability to be snarky when he wants to?

Also please stop making him as "an innocent little bean that doesn't know about adult fun time". We already know he knows what that is. That time with Palutena in Chapter 2 and Magnus in Chapter 18 was proof enough.

Anyways sorry for ranting. I just really hate it when fanfics do this.

I love how angry the boys look when Bowser tries to “win” Peach back lmao

They’re like “bro she don’t want you stfu already”

WELCOME TO THE MIND FUNK

Old FNF mod concept from 2022.

Ya know, reading anything that’s Angel Dust x fem!reader really feels weird to me. Cause, like, he’s gay and all. And he did make a remark once that he would sleep with women if they payed him, but it still feels off. Sorta the same way I feel about Vaggie x male!reader since she’s a lesbian. I’m not saying people should stop cause they can enjoy what they want, but it’s still kinda weird to me. 

Look, I get it.

I get that many people simp over Angel Dust, or at least find him attractive in some way, shape, or form. That alone is fine.

But every time I see something along the lines of “Everyone else says that Angel Dust is gay, but since I ship him with (insert female OC/character here), I say he’s bi!” I'm sorry, but I can’t help but groan.

Guys, Angel Dust is gay. Not bi, not pan, gay. As in, only experiences actual sexual attraction (keep those three words in mind) to those who are the same gender as him. As in, he’s only attracted to men.

“But he and Vaggie were dating in the early concepts of Zoophobia, it still counts!” you know what, I don’t give a shit. It’s true that Angel Dust was planned to be either straight or bisexual in the Zoophobia days, but those were the Zoophobia days. This is Hazbin Hotel, aka the official canon version of all these characters we ended up getting. Like all the rest of the characters we all know and love today, Angel Dust has been through changes, and it’s been officially decided that he’s homosexual.

Now I know there’s people out there saying “he’s willing to have sex with a woman so technically he could be bi with a male preference.” Yes, he’s willing to have sex and sleep around with anyone. That is, if they pay him to, as in he works as a prostitute.

Angel Dust charges female clients extra for a reason. If a male client and a female client were to offer him the same amount of money for a night of sexy fun in return, chances are he will choose the male client. Not because “he’s bisexual but prefers men” but because he’s just not sexually attracted to women. He’s not being sexist or misogynistic here either; if you were homosexual and you were asked to bang someone of the opposite sex, would you do it? Probably not. Would you do it if you were promised money in return? Well, apparently Angel Dust would.

Angel Dust can have sex with any person of any gender who pays him to. But that does not mean he’s automatically sexually attracted to anyone who sleeps with him, let alone a female.

This stuff applies to Vaggie as well, who’s not only canonically dating Charlie but is confirmed to be lesbian. Despite this, I’ve seen at least a few people shipping her with Angel Dust. I enjoy Vaggie and Angel Dust shenanigans, but why does it have to be a romantic relationship? Why not just a platonic frenemies situation? I don’t know about y'all, but I’d like to see some more gay-lesbian solidarity.

If you want to pair Angel Dust with someone of the opposite sex (as in your OC or some other canon character), fine. More power to you. People might have an issue with you doing so, but fine. But no matter how you try and shape it or headcanon or what your opinions on a character’s sexuality are, you can’t change what’s confirmed to be canon. Say he’s bisexual or straight all you want, but Angel Dust is still going to be canonically homosexual.

TLDR; Angel Dust is canonically gay. Stop pretending he's not.