I Keep Forgetting To Post This God. Apparently I'm A Prince Of Space, I Am So Okay With That. Yay, I

I keep forgetting to post this god. Apparently I'm a Prince of Space, I am so okay with that. Yay, I destroy space. cool. goodnight ugh. Oh yeah, I found out cuz of this: http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/rvalle/hsquiz/hsquiz.html

tat's what I really look like, except I'm not wearing that (naked obviously)

drawing this

The always great Gore Core Kitty in her new amazing Cassandra Cain Batgirl cosplay which she showed off at Anime Expo ‘13.

She is justice!

Pangloss Prince

Happy Thanksgiving

I have a webcomic, by the way

It's 6 in the morning and I haven't slept

I feel weird, I want to cry, but I can't without feeling like an actor. So I drew myself crying. Narcissistic. I don't know, I'm depressed but I guess I'm not "sad". I will probably go to sleep after posting this, but I'm not necessarily tired. I fell in love again with someone after finding them. I know them a little better now but not really. But then I realized it will never be, not when I'm like this, when I couldn't be myself, not with them, not when I don't even know myself good enough. I failed with them, and failed with them, and I failed at even being their friend, and I'd probably just fail again, at least as I am now. Just as I have before and before and before.

I feel like I've lost my footing and I'm plummeting through a widening hole, but there is no bottom. No end, it's only just begun, there is no up or down anymore. I will find myself in the same cycle again after I wake up tomorrow, all of my apathy will be gone and I will be emotional again. The floor will surface as I wake. the redness will return to my cheeks, and I will be self-conscious about the opinions of the people that I want in my life. And I will wonder if they want me, and if I'm just setting myself up for disappointment, since I cannot fathom what they want, what they feel. I thought I knew before, but I can't tell anymore, and I realize the question: "what did I want?" and then "what do I want?"

I smile and realize, I'm human, what else could I want, you all know, as do I.

I'm ranting since that's the only way I know how to talk, otherwise I'd keep quiet. I care what she thinks, even though we aren't that close, like a sheep gazing over at a gazelle. I'll never know her world, or her thoughts. Who knows if she'll tell me, or if she thinks of mine, wonders if mine is like hers. I catch her gaze, and I smile, but it isn't returned, and I remember. I don't belong. I never have.

Because I was dinking around and this belongs here