I Have Seen What The Darkness Does, Say Goodbye Who I Was

I have seen what the darkness does, say goodbye who I was

(Inspired by this beautiful art)

New reblog game reblog this and don't say anything in the tags or on the post

Since the original post was probably fake

Everyone who reblogs will receive a pokemon based off of their blog in their asks!

Well maybe we should start doing it again

no but if 2022 is okayish and it’s all because a straw goat burnt down what do we do then. where do we go from that point.

Hello again. It’s me. The person behind this blog. As you can tell, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted. There was a reason behind that, and it leads to what this post is actually about. At least, half of this post.

I had ignored the boundaries of an artist and promptly was blocked for it, which I knew then was understandable, but now I realize it was deserved as well. I was below the age of 18 at the time they had blocked me, and they had 18+ in their bio. I had a habit of interacting with 18+ artists before this, so I had assumed the same thing as I always did would work there; follow/like, but don’t reblog, like, comment, or send asks until 18. So I followed them. And I was blocked. I was mad back then when I had realized, and I had thought that it made me a bad person. While what I did wasn’t good by any means, my reaction was more akin to being blocked by all of their artist friends, one of whom I was following at the time.

Now that I’ve had some time to reflect on the incident, I realize that I had ignored a boundary, and the artist had reinforced that boundary by not making me the exception.

So, @didderd-reblogs , if you are reading this, I would like to formally apologize and say that I now realize that what I did was wrong.

I originally had an explanation as to why I did it, but looking back I realize that no explanation could justify or excuse my actions.

However, that is only half of this post.

I am thinking of leaving this account. I will have the new account made soon, and I’m probably gonna move there at the end of the day.

I see this account as a time capsule in a sense. I made many friends on this account. Changed and grew. But I changed out of tune to this account. People that I knew during this accounts activity knew me when I was ~15. I’m 18 now. I’m not the same person that I was back then. I’ve made friends, gained memories, both good and bad, that make me feel as though using this account and posting on it again would be the same as painting over vintage wallpaper.

Plus, to add to how I realized that didderd was right to block me, I realized that I didn’t want minors on my page. Problem is, some of those minors were my friends, and it once again feels wrong to remove them from my mutuals list. I don’t want to change this little time capsule. I also was friends with many adults who I see as family, and I would like to avoid people I view on a similar pedestal as siblings/parents seeing me sexualize fictional characters on main lol.

This account is who I used to be. Who I was before my life got so much worse in ways I won’t go into. But it’s now who I am anymore. And I don’t want it to be.

I want it to be the me that laughed and cried and felt alive when she was. The me that trusted adults. The me that had a bright hope for the future. That isn’t who I am anymore. I’m an “adult” now, in the legal sense. But I feel like a jaded and scared kid. That’s not what this account will ever be.

So this is my final goodbye.

TL;DR: I crossed a boundary that I hadn’t realized was there, and was given rightful consequence. I later realized that the thought of returning to this account felt out of place and wrong, since the person I was when I made this account has long since been buried. So now I’m laying my organs bare, so I could clear the air before my departure.