The Things This Made Me Feel Was - I Loved It So Much Oh My Gooood And Me Being The Very Touch Deprived

The things this made me feel was 🥺🥰😡😭✨- I loved it so much oh my gooood and me being the very touch deprived person this was so on point damn I felt like crying

Hands | Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Bakugou learned from a young age to keep his hands to himself, even when his entire body longed for touch and his eyes filled with tears at the loss of a comforting habit.

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

WARNINGS: hurt/comfort, angst, touch starved bakugou!!, kind of a character study? i think about him a lot, one kiss, cursing, consensual hand holding (PFFFT), mitsuki fucking sucks but what’s new

I hope you like this!! please remember feedback is always appreciated and all that. thank you for reading!! sorry if it sucks LMAO I DID MY BEST AND I KINDA LIKE IT

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Soo, what do we think of the new theme? It took me a day to actually finish the drawing lol but I'm happy with how it turned out!

I’ll See You, Even If I Close My Eyes

Synopsis: "I know who you are." You whispered, your eyes still closed.

 "Open your eyes, then. Open your eyes, look at me and tell me you don't hate me."

Genre: enemies to lovers (is that even a surprise at this point?), i feel like it’s a bit angsty but it wasn’t meant to be, a happy ending, fluff

Warnings: Shinsou is really mean in the beginning of this for the story purposes but I kept it short) some cursing, insecurities, mentions of social anxiety also its like 5.6k I think so that's that

pairing: Pianist!Shinsou x fem!Reader

It was late in the night when you first heard it. The music coming from downstairs, a piano piece that enhanced and pulled you to it the moment you heard it. 

Running down the stairs as fast and quiet as you could, you rushed to the living room in the grand piano stood. You didn't know anyone who played the piano in your class, and you desperately wanted to know who this music belonged to.

It was such a soft melody, so sad and almost dark, it sent chills down your spine. The piece wasn't familiar, though what enchanted you so wasn't the song but the way the pianist had delivered it, instead. 

You made it to the room, chest heaving from running so fast. It was ice cold downstairs, realizing it was because all the windows were open, making the whole room smell like the deep night and mist, although as you reached to the piano, you noticed the faint smell of lavender, as well.

You hid behind the cupboard when you reached the room, taking a peek inside to see the pianist, brows furrowing when you couldn't. The tulle curtains dancing with the harsh wind, it was concealing the pianist professionally, only making you able to see the silhouette.

It was a man's silhouette, you could tell that. You looked at his back, hovering over the black and white tiles of the piano, his broad shoulders slumped forward ever so slightly. You weren't aware you had started to walk towards him, getting out of your hiding place.

You were able to only take a glimpse of the silhouette of his side profile before you heard another pair of footsteps coming from the stairs, making you both freeze in your places. 

"Y/N?" You heard a soft voice call out, Yaoyorozu standing there with her nightgown and a blanket she just created. "What are you doing here?"

"I- I couldn't sleep." You answered vaguely, causing her to knit her brows together, but thankfully, she didn't keep pushing. "It's freezing down here," she told you instead. "Let's go back upstairs." 

"Yeah, I'm coming." You answered, trying to stop her from coming there and seeing the- you looked back at the piano, gasping when you noticed he wasn't there anymore. The tulle curtain still dancing with the wind, the faint smell of lavender and night lingering in the air, but the pianist was gone without a trace. 

"What are you doing?" Yaoyorozu asked, yawning gracefully. "You're acting a bit weird." She told you with a smile, and you smiled back. "Nothing, I just thought I saw something." You didn't expect the look of panic to settle on her features, though. "What? Did you see someone?" She interrogated, stopping in her tracks and ready to go downstairs to fight whoever it was.

"I-"

"Is there a break-in? Did you-"

"No!" You exclaimed, stopping her from checking downstairs. You didn't know why exactly, but you didn't want her to find out about the pianist. "I just thought I saw a shadow, it's nothing important." You reassured her, and although she sent you a suspicious look, she took your words, walking back downstairs. 

You could swear you heard a chuckle when you sighed with relief, though.

***

When people asked your best friend, Yaomomo, why you didn't seem to get along with Shinsou, she didn't answer.

(they usually asked her if he did something to you, something bad, but she never told you this)

 The truth was, she didn't know either, no one did, not even you were sure as to why. Shinsou seemed like the kind of guy you would get along with, he was quiet and calm, though he was strong and would do anything to get to his goal. 

He was impressive, and you always had a part in you that wanted to be friends with him, and it hurt when he hated you instead of sharing your thoughts. And it didn't make it any better when you were seatmates, either. It had been only a week of you sitting together, and every day was living hell.

He lifted his head from his arms, waking up from his sleep. His eyes wandered over the room, his bored gaze stopping on you, and brows furrowing immediately.

Only the sight of you was able to make him angry, apparently, the thought souring your mood immediately.

Your eyes locked for a few seconds, the indigo eyes making it near impossible to look away, and he stared at you as if he expected you to say or do something. You could feel the bone-chilling glare he sent you when you looked away, and he smirked when you gathered the courage and tried to glare back. 

"Stop looking at him." Yaoyorozu warned you when you stared for a little too long. "I'm not!" You answered but bit your bottom lip when she looked at you with raised brows. "I mean, he was glaring first."

"Sure." She told you with a small smirk. "You know, I think you should-"

"Go and talk to him, I know. You tell that to me every day." You interrupted. "But I can't, I'm not as confident as you, and I really don't have it in me to go and ask someone just why they hate me so much." 

You huffed when she pouted. "It's not that big of a deal, Y/N. I really think it would be better than glaring at each other like this, and don't think I miss how tired and on edge you always are. I can't stand you staying quiet when he's always mean to you. Why don't you at least fight back?"

"I-" You tried to think of an answer, but you weren't sure either. You were never good with fighting back to people when it came to you, can't find the right thing to say in the middle of an argument, or panic altogether and tear up. It was just easier to ignore and bite your lip, to not answer, and hope they will go away. It had worked in the past, but it just seemed to make it worse with Shinsou.

"I can't." You finally answered her question, and she sighed, but before she got to lecture you more on the topic, Midnight entered the room, and you went back to your seat, still feeling his gaze on you.

***

"I'll just talk to her," you told your friend, "Can you wait here?"

"Sure!" Yaoyorozu told you with a cheerful smile, and you rubbed your hands together anxiously as you walked towards your homeroom teacher, so anxious that you weren't aware he was still in the class.

"Yeah, no." Was your teacher's answer when you requested a seat change. "Not unless you give me a valid reason."

"Um, we don't... we can't get along and-"

"That isn't an excuse, you know." She told you, sighing as she collected her bag and stood up. "But you changed Ochako's seat a few days ago!' You tried one last time, biting your bottom lip anxiously. "Yes, I changed her seat because Mineta was... well- acting inappropriately. I won't change seats because you can't get along, If it came to that, I would have to change almost everyone's seat. Just try to get along, Midoriya never asked me to change his seats, and he and Bakugou really can't get along."

Yeah, that's because he's a masochist, you thought to yourself but bit your tongue before it slipped out of your mouth.

"Yes, sensei." You answered instead, heard a scoff coming from the back of the room as she walked out of the room. 

"And here I am, thinking we got along swimmingly." He raised a lavender brow along with a dry laugh, the kind of laugh that would've been pretty if it was genuine. You tried to ignore Shinsou's gaze as you walked past him towards the exit, following your teacher, who seemed to want to get out of the room as soon as possible, praying to yourself he would let you go this one time. But of course, he didn't. 

"Shinsou-kun, just leave her alone." Yaoyorozu muttered, holding you by the wrist and pulling you out of the room, which you gladly complied with.

"Oh, but how are you going to survive?" He spoke, ignoring Yaoyorozu's warning. "I'm the big bad wolf, aren't I? Isn't that why you run away from me like a hopeless little lamb? Can't even speak, let alone look me in the eyes?" He growled the last few words, resembling the big bad wolf for a second or so, his low growl sending shivers down your spine. 

He sounded almost... hurt.

"What?" He snapped. "Still got nothing to say back? Even after all those things I said, you still can't-"

"Cut it out, Shinsou!" Yaoyorozu suddenly protested, ignoring the looks you had sent her, pleading to just go.

You heard Shinsou sigh, his face softer when he had turned to your friend, the realization making your heart clench. It was just you, he hated, after all.

"You're just proving my point by defending her, you know." Shinsou told her with slightly quirked brows as he packed his bag. His eyes stayed on you for a few more seconds, waiting (begging) for you to say something. But you didn't, and it only made him angrier.

"See ya later, seatmate." He told you bitterly, earning an audible gulp as a response.

***

Shinsou hadn't expected you to come back. 

He didn't want you there, either. You, who made him feel like a villain more than anyone else in the world. But, still, he couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of excitement when he felt your presence in the entrance of the doorway, going towards the piano and wondering.

Shinsou hadn't sat on the piano this time, watching you as he tried to figure what you were going to do. Instead of scoffing and going back when you saw the pianist wasn't there, as he expected you to do, you pouted and sat on the Stuhl, touching the keys with your fingers.

Shinsou bit his lip, thinking. He wanted to- he wanted to show himself, but he also knew... "Who is there?" He heard you call out, your voice low but firm, the strong tone he had never heard from you, and it made him curious.

"Are you the pianist that was here last time?" You asked, standing up with furrowed brows and narrowed eyes.

"I am." Shinsou answered with a low voice, and you gasped when you got an answer, eyes widening with surprise and confusion because you thought you heard that voice before-

"A- are you..?" You started to ask, but before you realized who the voice belonged to, Shinsou had already got closer to you, hands closing over your eyes, and before you even got the chance to struggle, you were brainwashed. "You can't recognize my voice." He ordered, feeling a bit guilty with seeing the blank expression on your face. "You can in the day, but not at night."

You nodded blankly, and just like that, you were out of his grip. "Don't open your eyes." He told you as he let you go physically and mentally. "Who are you?" You asked once again (he suppressed a laugh when you really didn't open your eyes), your voice this time harsher, on edge and ready to fight.

"I'm a student here, as well."

"I can't say I believe you." You answered, and even with your eyes closed, you could feel his presence and leave a few meters between the two of you, circling him in the room with the reflexes of a cat. Maybe you weren't that helpless, after all.

"I'm not surprised, but I am a student."

"Prove it." You demanded.

"There is a Bakugou Katsuki in your class, who has some serious anger issues."

"Everyone knows that." You scoffed, and he chuckled. "Todoroki Shouto, the quiet, strong kid, who is also a cold Soba addict and Endeavors kid." He kept on.

"Huh," you answered with a sly smile, showing him you were enjoying this just a bit. "Not bad, but you gotta give me a bit more than that."

"What do you even want me to say?" He protested with a chuckle he couldn't suppress, suddenly thinking of something he wasn't sure that was supposed to be said. "Okay, umm..." He looked at you as he hesitated to speak.

"There is a general stuied kid that transferred to your class." He said, watching your face as he spoke. "Hitoshi Shinsou. A kid that's supposed to be a villain."

Your brows furrowed immediately, the smile you just had on disappearing. "Don't call him that." You spoke, your cold voice surprising him. "He is a student in the hero course, not a general studies kid. He is aiming and working to be a hero, and you don't have the right to call him a villain." You protested, your words causing a weight to settle on his chest.

What the hell were you saying? Wasn't his quirk the reason you never spoke or looked at him? The reason you were afraid of him? Where was the meek little girl he knew, that always ran from him, that couldn't even glare at him or speak back? You looked strong, instead.

"But you do have the right, don't you?" He asked, voice now even lower. You visibly flinched.

"Who are you?" You asked after a few minutes, refusing to answer his question.

"I can't tell you. But you do believe I'm not an outsider, do you?"

You shook your head slowly.

"Well then, if that's settled." He told you, chuckling as he spoke. You heard him walk, a creak coming from the piano seat. "Why don't you want me to open my eyes?" You questioned, and he kept his silence for a few seconds. "I don't want you to know who I am." He said simply, and you scoffed.

"I already understood that, I want to know why."

"Aren't you here to listen to me?" He told you, tapping the piano keys softly. "You can listen to me with the condition of not opening your eyes."

You could tell he wasn't going to answer your question, so you went with another one. "Do I know you?"

You didn't know who he really was, did you? It wouldn't be a lie if he said no. Your brows furrowed when he answered negatively, wondering why it felt like a lie.

You shook your head, and he couldn't help but wonder why you were so scared of him when you knew who he was, especially after you had even defended him to someone you didn't even know. His gaze wandered over you, and he found himself thinking just how pretty you were, the moonlight softly lighting your features, the confident look on your face never once going away, and it just didn't make sense how you could be the same girl he saw every day.

"Won't you come closer? I won't bite." He spoke mockingly when you stood where you were, at least 5 meters away from him. You surprised him by actually coming near him. Shinsou stood up, feeling bad making you stand there. He pulled a chair next to the piano. "You can sit here if you want to." He told you, leading your hand to the chair, you shook your head but refused to sit.

"Do you have a requested piece?" He asked, although a bit more cynically than he intended to.

"Do you know any Chopin?" You shrugged uninterestedly, but your curious tone told him you were more than excited for this.

"Chopin it is." He muttered, a short silence followed by him pressing the keys. It didn't take long to recognize the piece, and he was surprised to see you interested in classical music.

He didn't stop playing when he finished the piece, playing something else, some you didn't recognize, some of your favorite piano pieces, and you were mesmerized. By the way he played the passages softly, almost causing a physical warmth to spread through your body.

Soon, it felt like you weren't sitting next to some stranger, so used to each other's presence that you sometimes forgot where you were or who you were with.

You didn't know how much you sat there, already lost the sense of time. Sometime along the night, you had sat on the chair he pulled for you, the faint lavender scent once again making itself recognizable.

"Are you cold?" He muttered, talking for the first time for what felt like hours, snapping you back into reality from the bubble of thought you were lost in. You noticed you were hugging your body, your knees pressed to your chest, chills down your arms, not even aware you were about to fall asleep a few seconds ago.

"I guess so." You muttered and heard him chuckle. "You shouldn't fall asleep next to a stranger."

"Why not?" You asked, still not fully awake.

"I'm a stranger." He declared and heard a muffled laugh coming from you, and he realized it was the first time he heard you laugh, too. "I might be a very bad person, kill you in your sleep." He whispered the last words, and you chuckled, this time slightly more awake.

(His words reminded you if something, a conversation you had with someone else earlier that day, but with sleep clouding your thoughts, you couldn't connect the two)

"Well, you're studying in UA, right? Aiming to be a hero. I don't think you could be that bad."

Silence followed your words, and you wondered if you had said something wrong, shifting in your place. No, it wasn't that you had said something wrong, you had said something so right, something Shinsou had waited his whole life to hear from someone, but he had never thought this someone would be you. 

"That's the weakest argument I've ever heard." He answered after a few seconds, trying to pull himself back together. "It still doesn't stop me from falling asleep, though. Are you tired?"

"I'm always tired." He answered, cursing himself for revealing something of his character. But you hadn't seemed to catch on. Actually, you hadn't been saying anything for a while, and- were you already asleep?! 

Was that even humanely possible, he wondered. Still, he couldn't wake you up, could he? If he did, you would open your eyes and see him, and Shisnou didn't want to brainwash you again... 

He sighed, arms snaking up under your legs and back, pulling you to his arms and an odd feeling spreading to his chest when you snuggled closer to his chest, seeking warmth, the innocent smile on your lips causing him to hold his breath.

He had no idea why he was helping you, either, but he just couldn't leave you there. It was payback for you defending him earlier, he concluded, even though you had defended him against him.

He finally climbed the stairs that went to your room, opening the door as quietly as he could and dropping you on your sheets, a puff of air that smelled like you rising from your bed when he dropped you. Shinsou found himself inhaling and smiling at your scent, brows furrowing immediately when he realized what the hell he was doing. 

He exited the room with thoughts filling his head, so many things to reconsider and think of, and Shinsou knew he wouldn't be able to sleep at all that night.

~~~

"Has Shinsou been treating you better lately, or am I delirious?" Yaoyorozu had asked that day, which you had answered with a shrug, even though the answer was definitely yes. He hadn't called you dumb or a coward for a hot minute, and it was both making you relieved and concerned. 

He wasn't frowning whenever your eyes met (he had once smiled at you, which resulted in you choking on your drink you had just sipped on, so he had decided it was the best not to), wasn't even glaring at you. Still, that didn't mean you had accepted him, or befriended him in any way. You kept on avoiding him with all you had, and he couldn't even blame you, he wasn't even aware of the internal fight you were giving, trying to stop yourself from smiling back, to stop thinking maybe he wasn't that bad after all, to stop yourself from liking him and failing.

Shinsou wasn't deliberately acting better towards you, either. He didn't mean to change anything, but it did. Ever since the first night you had talked with him without knowing who he was, without guarding yourself or hiding what you wanted to say and held back, his anger towards you had started to fade. 

You had met almost every night after that day, and his heart had no right to beat faster when he saw you standing there, waiting for him, but it did. Shinsou knew this feeling and wasn't exactly foreign to the warmth that spread in his chest when you leaned your head on his shoulder as he played something soft, the excitement he had when you praised him for his music, the pride when you laughed loudly at something he said because he had made you laugh and-

And he had no right. 

Not after he had treated you the way he did.

Still, he was too selfish to lose you, so he answered negatively whenever you asked to open your eyes. 

"But why not?" You protested, your head resting on his shoulder, you inhaled his lavender scent, soft hair tickling your face. 

"Why do you want to know that much? Can't we just stay this way? Do you have to know who I am?" He told you, fear causing a feeling to sit in the pit of his stomach, fear of what would happen, of how much you would hate him if (when) you found out.

No, no, you could hate him all you want in the day, hate the persona he had for everyone and you, but he couldn't bear you hating him as the pianist, because that who he really was.

You were the only one who knew the real him, if you hated the real him, he could never gather the courage to show it to anyone else. He called you coward all this time, and it was he who was the real coward, after all.

But Shinsou wasn't the only one with a secret. 

Even though you hated it, even though you couldn't admit it, you wanted the pianist to be a certain someone. Someone with a pair of pretty indigo eyes and the craziest hair you had ever seen. 

And the hope, the feeling of maybe it is him, it hurt to stay clinging to a thread of hope. And you knew, you knew it couldn't be him, and you wanted to open your eyes and kill whatever stupid part of your brain it was that hoped for it to be Shinsou, to open your eyes and stop your feelings that were growing for him with the feelings you harbored for the stranger that sat across you. The stranger you didn't know the name of, the stranger, who played the piano for you every single night until you fell asleep, the stranger you trusted, you liked, and you... loved? 

No, no, that couldn't be true. You couldn't love someone you didn't know anything about, could you? But you did know him, didn't you? You knew him very well, and he knew you, the real you, you who you didn't feel like you had to hide.

"I just- maybe then we won't have to see each other just at night." You answered, trying to think of a reasonable answer other than 'I'm trying to get over a crush here by using my crush I have on you'

"Maybe some other day." He answered, and you sighed since that was his usual go-to answer.

"Maybe some other day." You repeated, once again leaning to him, making yourself comfortable as he played a piece he played often, a piece you had fallen in love with because of him. 

~~~

"You'll hate me." He had once told you when you asked why. He had immediately corrected himself, but you had heard it already. 'You'll hate me.'

"I can never hate you." You had answered, felt the deep breath he had inhaled, felt how he held his breath in his chest in a hopeful manner. "You think that now," he had chuckled in a way of trying to conceal the broken tone in his voice. "I will only believe that if you promise me you haven't hated anyone in your life."

He had sighed when you hadn't answered him.

"But that's not fair," you had protested. "It doesn't depend on whether I have ever hated anyone. Why would I hate you? I wouldn't be coming here every single night if I did, would I?"

"I'm... different with you." He had answered, and you felt your heart-clenching, holding your breath unconsciously.

"How are you so sure?" You had asked. "Do you think you would've hated yourself if you were me?" You had joked, not expecting him to answer.

"I already do." He had whispered, making your brows knit together in anger. "No!" You protested, opening your eyes in a whim to prove to him that you wouldn't, couldn't hate him even if you knew who he was, but before you even got a glimpse, his hand closed over your eyes as if he felt what you had in mind.

"No, no." He chuckled, "no cheating."

~~~

"I'm really sure I can't hate you." You had concluded after a moment of silence, and he had laughed, the sound making you feel warm. "What makes you so sure?" 

"Honest answer?"

"Yes."

"I... like you." You had finally managed to choke out after a few seconds and were greeted with silence. 

"No, you don't." he had told you, and you would've laughed if it was any other situation (because really, who answers I like you with no? And you thought thank you was the worst answer, apparently not), but his voice was so sad, almost regretful. It was obvious he didn't believe you.

"You don't know that!" You had protested, and he had sighed. "Believe me, I do."

"I like you." You repeated, this time more confident and left no room for denial, and somehow you could feel him smiling. "I like you, too."

"Don't you wanna see me after my confession?" He had half-joked, and you knew he would let you open your eyes if you said yes. But you chose not to, knowing well he wasn't ready.

"It's okay." You had answered and heard the breath of relief he had inhaled, although he tried to hide it.

A faint chuckle waked you up from your slumber. You felt strong arms wrapping your body as they lifted you up in the air, and you quickly closed your eyes. You knew he wouldn't know if you did open your eyes, but you... couldn't. Not when he begged you not to, not when he told you you would hate him.

You wanted him to be ready when you did. 

"You should really stop trusting people as much as sleeping soundly next to them." You felt a soft hand caressing your hair away from your hair, the motion making you hold your breath.

He leaned towards you, his hair tickling your face, and he was suddenly so close, you could feel the heat radiating from his face, and you wished, wished for him to kiss you. But instead, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Something you least expected him to say, yet, it was what you most wanted to hear, you realized. 

His arms wrapped around you, lifting you and pulling you to his chest, and you felt oddly relaxed, thinking you were in the arms of someone you didn't even know the name of.

You had your eyes closed as he carried you to your room, trying to look asleep so he wouldn't let you go, and you could stay together, at least slightly longer. 

He opened your room door with his foot, placing you on your bed softly. You stood quiet, hoping he'll stay a bit longer, but also aware he wouldn't. "I know you're awake." He spoke softly after a few seconds, and you couldn't help but smile. "You do?" You asked, and he answered a soft yes.  

"You could've told me that down there so you wouldn't have had to carry me all the way here." You joked as you noticed he was a bit more anxious than he usually was. "You looked comfortable." He answered with a nervous chuckle.

"I should go." He told you, but you felt him getting closer to you instead of doing what he said, his hand caressing your hair out of your face softly, as he usually did when you snuggled to his side when he played the piano. 

"Do you have to?" You gathered the courage and asked, couldn't help smiling when you heard him gasp softly.

"I don't really wanna be alone." You added, and he sighed. 

"I'll only stay until you fall asleep."

"I'll fight my sleep the whole night if I have to." You answered, and he chuckled, making you laugh, too. He sat on the ground, right next to you, his hand still softly caressing your hair. 

"Then I'll stay here until you can't."

And he did. He stayed there even when you felt like couldn't fight it, couldn't hold back from falling asleep as his lavender scent lulled you into the sleep, his hand holding yours, but you were strong, and you resisted, resisted until the sun shone its first lights into your room.

"You're still awake." He muttered, but his voice was afraid, and you knew this voice. 

"You can't recognize my voice. You can in the day, but not at night." He remembered. Realizing it was now day.

It was a voice that made you flinch whenever you heard it, the voice that had told you some of the meanest things that had been told to you.

"I know who you are." You whispered, your eyes still closed. 

"Open your eyes, then. Open your eyes, look at me and tell me you don't hate me."

You did open your eyes, but your voice didn't come out. You gulped, instead, feeling a lump forming in your throat and aching there. "What, got nothing to say?" He asked, trying to joke, but he had meant it serious, he realized.

You couldn't bring yourself to speak, and you didn't know why, either. Didn't you want the pianist to be him? Wasn't there a part of you that wanted it to be him? Hadn't you told him all those things, everything, thinking it could still be him? Then why couldn't you repeat them now? Looking at his indigo eyes that looked at you like he was broken, like he knew this would happen but was holding on to the last thread of hope?

You were afraid, afraid you wouldn't be able to speak, to tell him that you meant it all, and he noticed it. He saw the look of fear in your eyes.

People being afraid of him was something he was more than familiar with, after all.

"I knew it." He whispered, and you noticed his eyes were slightly damp with disappointment. He ran his hand through his hair, eyebags darker than usual, and he bit his bottom lip as if he tried to hold himself back from crying.

"It's okay. You're right about hating me, I knew it would eventually happen but-"

"I don't." You finally managed to tell him when he turned towards your door to exit the room, holding him by the wrist, knowing damn well this would be your only chance to tell him.

"I had- I had meant it all." You spoke and saw the glint of hope in his pretty eyes. "Even if my eyes were closed." 

You saw how it took a few seconds for him to process the words, and when he did, he smiled. 

"You don't hate me?" 

You nodded, and he took a step towards you when you did.

"Not afraid of me, either?"

You nodded, smiling slightly, and he took one more step.

"Are you really sure, though?" He asked, and you chuckled as you nodded once again, and his face was almost mere inches away from yours when he got even closer to you.

"Can I... kiss you, then?"

You nodded one more time, tilting your face towards his. "You should've asked this first, instead." You whispered just before he pressed his lips to yours, making him smile into the kiss.

Hello hello! I saw that you're opening requests so here i am! May i have a fic of Katsuki where he found the reader who's usually is a tough nut to crack, is 99% of the time never really cry and acts like a crackhead suddenly starts crying after one of Katsuki's empty insults he usually threw at her? And it turns out that she was very overwhelmed about the amount of work, deadlines, pressure and pretty much problems twirling around her to the point where one insult that she KNOWS he didn't even mean it can throw her over the edge? And Katsuki just went '?!?!?!' and didn't know what to do? Kinda feeling pretty much like this rn lmao, and kinda want comfort especially if it's from the boom boom man.

Anyways- i absolutely adore your work!

•words and promises•

A/N: this request was really cute and so relatable cuz ever since the schools started again, they've been going so hard on us I don't even have the time to sleep sometimes (but I have the time to write- ironic huh) I hope you're feeling better now, tho! Thank you so much for the request, I hope this was comforting rather than triggering cuz bakugou is mean here lmao

bnha taglist!: @astroninaaa

W.C: 3.2k

Warnings: cursing, insecurities (I think?), stress and anxiety

Genre: angst with a good ending, comfort

"And please hand the summary in by Friday. Todoroki-kun, could you make sure to collect them from everyone and hand them to me?" Midnight asked with a bright smile, leaving the room when Todoroki nodded, everyone else groaning in frustration.

"She wants us to read a whole goddamn book and summarize it in a week?" Kaminari cried out, voicing all of your inner thoughts.

"You, know, Kaminari-kun, it's not entirely impossible to do that." Iida interrupted, fixing his glasses. It would've been a bit more convincing if he didn't have purple bags under his eyes and looked like he was about to pass out.

"Maybe It wouldn't have been impossible if we didn't have 20 other summaries and essays to write!" Mina shot back, and Iida had no answers to that.

You stood silent, but that was because you felt like you couldn't breathe. Everything they were saying was true, this was all too much, and you had no idea how to overcome it. Not even aware you zoned out, you were awoken by your state by a hard snap of a finger in front of your eyes.

"Watcha looking at?" The owner of the fingers asked, and despite his hard voice, his ruby red eyes had a playful glint to them.

"I was just worried if you're smart enough to actually finish an assignment." You told mockingly, and he scoffed.

"Look at the one talking, you were the one who came to my door last night, begging me to help you with the science homework."

"I didn't beg!" You protested. "I just asked you if you did it and you offered to help me!"

"I offered to help just because I pitied you." He muttered, his harsh words causing the rest of the class to gasp and look at you, half expecting you to get mad and scream at him, even though this scene was happening more often than they would like to admit.

These little fights you had with Bakugou was now almost a part of their day. It was an odd relationship you had, always attacking each other, sometimes maybe taking it a bit far, but both of you always knew it wasn't coming from the heart.

When you stood silent, sending a mocking laugh his way, and kept scrolling through Instagram, he was a little surprised.

You were never silent, you always, always had something to say back. In fact, that was one of the things he loved- hated about you. Whatever he told you, you had something clever or dumb to say, and you were so brutally blunt when he fought with you, sometimes he found himself laughing at the insults you threw at him.

Still, his pride stopped him from asking if something was wrong, on the contrary, he was happy to finally have some quiet time, he told himself. You could feel his eyes on you as you thoughtlessly scrolled through your Instagram feed, but you didn't have it in you to argue, you were too tired for that.

Bakugou scoffed after looking at you for a while, still expecting you to poke fun at him, but when you sat still, he gritted his teeth and sat back at his place.

■■■

Bakugou never thought he would miss arguing with you.

He noticed you were acting a bit odd, not once trying to get in a fight with him, not even a snarky comment coming from your way. It was weird to see you so quiet, and it was getting on his nerves.

You weren't entirely silent, but whenever he tried to lul you into fighting with him, you just looked at him with a blank smile and went on doing whatever it was you were doing. And Bakugou was not someone you could just ignore.

Your friends had started to catch up with Bakugou's growing frustration, his now harder comments, and how you simply ignored them. They thought you were tired of him (really, who could judge you? Everyone knew how extra Bakugou sometimes could be), and didn't think of it as much, except one particular red-head.

Kirishima noticed how you clenched your teeth, how your hands turned into fists, your knuckles turning white whenever you heard a comment about you. He was probably the only one that actually understood the odd relationship between you and Bakugou, so Kirishima was more than aware that something was troubling you. He also knew better than just simply asking you, well aware you would never accept that there was, in fact, something bothering you.

You had never been the type to talk about your feelings easily, always trying to fix things by yourself, and taking pride by doing things alone. Your stubborn nature sometimes reminded him too much of a certain ashy blonde.

"Hey, Y/N." He approached you at a break, noticing the dark circles under your eyes. "Oh, hey, Kiri-kun, what's up?" You asked with a slightly forced smile when you felt his eyes examining you.

"Nothing much, we're gonna meet up in Mina's dorm tonight, you know, to partly study and talk. You've been kinda distant lately, you wanna come?" You bit your lip thoughtfully. You wanted to go, but there was so much to do and so little time that you felt like you didn't even have time to sleep, let alone spend time with your friends.

"I- I don't know." You muttered with an apologetic smile. "I don't think I can, I really should work on the homework."

"Oh come on," He insisted. "You don't have to stay long, and it's nice to take a break sometime, you know."

Taking a break. Something you've been putting off doing for a long time.

"You've been pushing yourself quite a lot, you know. Don't think we missed how tired and stressed you've been lately."

"I'm not-" You tried to deny, but sighed when he looked like he wouldn't believe whatever you told him. "Okay, I'll be there." You told him, and he sent you a cheeky smile.

"Just make sure we have enough coffee."

"I personally will take care of that." He winked, and you giggled, shaking your head side to side. You didn't even notice the ruby eyes watching you two as you laughed, a dreadful feeling forming in the pit of Bakugou's stomach since it was someone else who made you laugh. Not him. All he could do was to mess with you.

The frustration he felt reflected on his words, too. Sure, Bakugou was never nice, but over the past years you had spent with him, he had learned to be, well, not so aggressive. But as the day went by, he just kept attacking you in a way that made you feel trapped.

And even though you never noticed, the way you seemed to ignore him whenever he tried to get a reaction from you just made everything worse, causing Bakugou to get even braver with his attempts to fight.

And he was aware of it, too. Bakugou could feel his heart beating faster in his chest whenever he told you something, a fear in him that told him he just went too far this time, but nonetheless, he still didn't even get one look his way.

"Miss Y/N? Can you answer this?" You heard Aizawa calling your name, making you jump in your seat. You weren't even aware that you had zoned out. Again. "I- I'm sorry." You muttered after a few seconds, looking down at your hands and hiding your face.

A mocking laugh came from Bakugou's way, and you clenched your teeth, hoping he would just let it go with a scoff, but your hopes died when Aizawa quirked a brow.

"Bakugou? Have something to say?" He asked, and Bakugou scoffed. "How can you be so-" He started to say but stopped mid-sentence when you didn't even turn his way, playing with the pen that was in front of you, instead, as if you were telling him just your pen was more interesting then whatever he had to say.

"Whatever." He muttered, not bothering to finish the remark he was previously saying.

■■■

"I have to pull like a week of full nighters to get half of these done!" Mina groaned eyeing the books and papers that were towering on her desk, denying to fit into her bag.

"And Aizawa-sensei even talked to them to go easy on us." Ochako exclaimed nervously. Even Yaoyorozu, probably the only one that would actually be able to finish all the assignments, had bags under her eyes, either from stress or the lack of sleep.

You entered the room, only to find a bag full of canned coffee and Kirishima's wide smile, greeting you. "I kept my promise, you see." He told you as you settled on the floor across him. "And I kept mine." You answered with a tired smile. It was an unnecessary attempt to hide how tired you were at this point.

"Hey, Y/N, we were wondering if you were okay? You seem to be a little down lately and-" Ochako asked with a nervous smile, which you didn't even let her finish. Maybe it was rude what you did, but you didn't want to hear the end of that sentence.

"Oh I'm perfectly fine." You lied through your teeth. "Maybe just a little stressed, but really nothing important."

"Are you sure?" Mina quirked a brow at you, but before you could answer, everyone looked at the door when they heard a knock, and you took a deep breath of relief. Looking around you, everyone was here, and you weren't sure who it could be at the door-

"Bakugou, you showed up!" Mina cheered when she saw the grumpy blond leaning to the door.

"Tch," he scoffed, his eyes meeting yours for a second, the look in them sending shivers down your spine. "Only because you wouldn't get out of my hair if I didn't."

"It always works, though." She told him with a sly smile, causing his eyes to narrow in a threatening way. His gaze wandered around the room, eyes meeting yours for a second time that night, you noticed his hands turning into tight fists when you looked away.

It wasn't your intention to ignore him the way you did, you just didn't have the strength to fight back. You liked fighting with Bakugou, but lately, you felt like you would break if anyone so much as touched you, and Bakugou's words were -even though it was unintentional- often harder than a slap across your face.

He didn't think of it as something important, no one did, since you were the only one that could handle Bakugou and fight back. You never held your tongue, never quivered before him, never looked sad when he said something that would make anyone else break down crying.

No one ever knew, it did sadden you. Especially lately, with all the stress and pressure on you, it did make you feel like crying, but of course, you weren't going to admit to that.

So, you hid it. From everyone, from your friends, form Aizawa sensei and family. No one needed to know how everything was pressuring you in a way that the only thing you could feel was being trapped until you just... sorted things out.

"Hey, you okay?" Kirishima nudged you with his leg, waking you up from your dark thoughts. Not even aware you zoned out, your breath stuck in your chest, you gaped at him blankly for a second.

"Y-yeah." You answered with a smile, and you heard him sigh.

"Yeah, okay." He finally told you. "Just- just know you can talk to me when you don't feel good, 'kay? You know I'm always here to listen."

You did, you really did, but you just wanted to sort things out yourself, without anyone else, to prove to yourself that you were strong enough.

You nodded and reached for a can of coffee, hiding your watering eyes from him.

"Oh, since you're here!" You heard Mina shuffle some paper on her desk. "Could you help me with this math question? I've been working on it for a while now, but I just couldn't do it." She leaned your way, handing you the paper.

"Oh-" You bit your lip, feeling oddly guilty. "I'm sorry Mina, I couldn't do it either."

"Oh, that's okay, we'll just ask Bakugou, then." She shrugged thoughtlessly and turned to the blond that was watching your every move, looking awfully similar to a wolf watching his prey. His eyes narrowed when you followed your friend and got closer to him, not saying a word. The meek look in your eyes oddly disturbed him, even he wasn't sure why seeing you like this angered him, but it did. He could feel how your nervousness grew as you walked towards him, too.

"What? Too dumb to do it yourself?" He raised one brow, praying to get an annoying answer like you always did, but you just looked away, instead.

"Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you that dumb that you can't even-"

"Bakugou, that's enough." Kirishima interrupted, noticing your watering eyes, how you nervously chewed on your lip, but Bakugou wasn't listening to him. He was too focused on trying to get a reaction out of you, not even aware of anything else.

"What- did I offend the princess? Is that all you can do? Just stand there all pretty, not able to even defend yourself that people around you has to?" Bakugou blurted out, words coming out of his mouth in an angry fit. The second he said them, his eyes widened, realizing he went too far this time.

Too far.

He saw how you flinched at his words, and that's when you chose to look him in the eyes. Your lashes wet with tears you were desperately trying to hold back, one or two already sliding down your cheek. Only then did he notice how tense you were, and not only then, but almost all the time these last few days.

"I-" You tried to speak, but you choked on your words, your heart beating so loudly in your chest, and in your ears, you knew you had to get away from him.

Not even bothering to excuse yourself, you left the room in a rush, leaving ten gaping people after you.

"Wh-what the fuck?" Bakugou muttered, his eyes still fixed on where you were standing seconds ago.

"Are you fucking dumb?" Kirishima exclaimed suddenly. His eyes wide with disbelief, yeah, Bakugou was mean and he did go overboard sometimes, but this was something else.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" He kept pestering his dumbfounded friend. "What were you thinking as you said all those things to her? Hah?"

"I wasn't-"

"You weren't thinking, that's the problem! What's going on with you lately? How can you lash out at her so?!" Bakugou stood quiet, the rest of the room not even daring to make a sound.

"Shut up, shitty hair." Bakugou muttered as he walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Ochako asked meekly, gulping loudly when Bakugou sent a glare her way and exited without even answering her question.

■■■

It wasn't hard to find you.

Maybe it was because he knew you too well, even more than he was even aware, or maybe it was because you weren't as complicated as you thought you were.

The night was chilly, the stars so bright, he was certain you were out in the garden. He spotted you on the bench, feeling his heart clenching with the sight of your face hidden in your hands, shoulders shaking with sobs.

"Y/N." He called out, his voice making you jump in your seat. You sprinted to your legs immediately, wiping the tears with the back of your hand, though, not doing a good job since your face was still damp with tears.

"Bakugou- wh-what are you doing here?" You asked, taking a step back when he got closer to you. He noticed this, a dreadful feeling forming in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm here to..." Why was he here? Certainly not to apologize. No, Bakugou never apologized.

Or so you thought.

"I'm here cause I'm- sorry." He finally managed to say, almost inaudibly. "For the things I said back in there- and other times, too."

He watched as you bit your lip, a confused and hurt look in your eyes, and he wanted to kick himself for causing you to be like this. "Why-" You finally managed to say after a few seconds, "why did you say all that? Why did you-"

"I'm sorry." He repeated, and this time you didn't step back when he walked towards you. So close that you could feel his caramel scent enveloping you. "I'm really sorry."

"I was- I was being dumb, I didn't mean any of that, and I'm really, really sorry." He whispered, and before he even knew what happened, you had your arms wrapped around him. It caught him by surprise, but he instantly closed his arms around you, too, holding you so tightly, his body so warm and so safe, you found yourself crying once again.

"Shh," he whispered to your hair, his hand caressing your hair in a soothing way. "It's okay." He didn't really know what was okay, but he felt like you needed to hear those words.

And you did.

Your sobbed in his arms, your face pressed to that place in between his shoulder and neck as his hand stroking your hair. And you didn't know what it was, but after a while that felt like you were never going to stop crying, you felt your sobs dying slowly, until all that was left was your occasional sighs.

Bakugou had never seen you like this, never so vulnerable, never so open. But the soft smile on his face told you that he didnt hate it. And you didn't exactly hate it either, to finally be able to at least show a fraction of what you were feeling to anyone.

"I'm sorry." You muttered. "I got your shirt wet."

"Dumbass, why are you apologizing-" his eyes widened when he realized he insulted you again. "I didn't mean-"

"No it's okay." You giggled. "I still want to have those- whatever it is we have. Let's not change anything, I don't want you to act as if I'm fragile glass."

"Y-yeah." He answered, his chest finally feeling lighter since he saw you laugh. "Yeah, okay."

His eyes looked at your laughing face one more time. "Promise."

Even though you weren't sure why exactly he promised, you had a feeling it was to never make you cry again.

Thank you for the tag! I got something similar to this a few days ago though my social anxiety went no❤ and I couldn't even answer lol

Manten-Kalafina

As the world caves in - Matt Maltese

Moment Musicaux no:4 op:16 -Rachmaninoff

Uprising - muse

Orda Ortada - Adamlar

I Hold you - Clann

Beni sen inandir - pinhani

Pazar ve Ertesi - Son feci bisiklet

Back of my mind - two feet

K - cigarettes after sex

There's one or two turkish songs in there too lol and I don't have 10 people I can tag so oops

Tagging:

@sjkrxf (I saw you recently tagged me into a post and I was really happy but also very very anxious so I couldn't respond but thank you aaaa)

@shinshoto

saw this going around in the studyblr community, so i’m starting this on hqblr! also because i like seeing what my friends are listening to uwu

rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

oh, mexico - jeremy zucker

カナリヤ - kenshi yonezu

little lion man - mumford & sons

it’s alright - mother mother

the lakes - taylor swift

ハルジオン - YOASOBI

guillotine- jon bellion

ring ring - juice wrld, rvssian, clever

100 bad days - AJR

handmade ego - TENDER

tagging: @star-puff @pyblos @sugasugawarau @w-yuren @sneezefiction @anseoo @tetsuwhore @jojosmilktea @voxamcris @ceeswrites

Hi, can I get some scenarios or headcanons of whichever MHA characters you want taking care of their s/o who’s delirious with a fever? Thank you

As long as we’re together

A/N (a special one for the anon heh): thank you so much for the request! I hope it isn’t a problem that I wrote only one since I write long fics, but this was really cute, and I hope you like it!

Genre: mild angst with a good ending, fluff

Word count: 3k :)

Synopsis: you never thought a small cough could turn into something this big, a day Bakugou calls the scariest worst day of his life.

pairing: Bakugou x fem!reader

It started with a cough.

You didn't think of it as much, guessing taking a pill and herbal tea would suffice, and it would be gone the next morning. Katsuki was away for the weekend, apparently, Kirishima was having a hard time, and Katsuli wasn't the type to just let his friends down.

The house was so quiet and so lonely without him, his caramel scent fading with every moment he wasn't there. You thought it was his absence that caused your laziness and moodiness. So you just kept repeating to yourself that it wasn't anything serious and will disappear the next morning,

It didn't, in fact, go away. Instead, you even had a killer headache along with the now slightly worsened cough.

You weren't the kind to get sick often, and even when you did, it didn't last more than a few days. Always just a few coughs and sometimes a bit of haziness, and it would be gone. So when you were talking on the phone, your boyfriend asked you if anything was wrong, you said no. Why did you need to bother him? It would soon be gone, and you knew very well the second you told him you didn't feel good, he would jump on the very first plane or car or anything, walk if he needed to, and be by your side.

Not that you didn't want him next to you, but he was there because someone else needed him, and he would be home soon enough, anyway.

So instead of telling him the slight cough and the headache, you just sighed. "I just missed you, babe."

"Of course, you did." He answered, and you could hear the grin in his voice. "I'm flying back tomorrow. I'll be home for dinner." He added, and you knew he had missed you just as much. "How is..." You started to ask, suddenly forgetting what you were even saying. There was an odd feeling in your brain that stopped you from thinking, your head felt lighter than usual, and your eyelids were closing on their own.

"Shitty hair is fine." He answered, not noticing your shift in mood. "Don't worry about him, dumbass. You eatin' good? I sure hope you're not eating those shitty fucking things again." By those shitty fucking things, he meant anything that didn't have enough spice and protein in it, but you didn't call him out for it. Instead, you stood silent, the kind of thing that caused Bakugou to furrow his brow on the other side of the line. Even though he was serious about you eating healthy, he expected you to laugh or tease him about it.

"Hey, dumbass. You still there?"

You wanted to say something, you really did, but the sudden dizziness that hit you prevented you from focusing on anything but not throwing up.

"Y/N?" You heard Katsuki's now worried voice. "Answer me this fucking second, or I'm coming there right now." He growled when he thought he heard a slight whimper.

"B-baby- I'm right here!" You finally managed to answer. "I was just- looking for the charger so I couldn't answer." You lied, still feeling dizzy, but at least you could talk with him now.

"Y/N, if you're fucking lying to me, I'm jumping on the first plane and coming right there." He told you, but you could hear his worry toning down. "No, no. You're coming home tomorrow anyway." You told him, smiling softly to yourself. "Just, come back to me as soon as you can, baby."

"Don't fucking tell that to me." He answered with a softer voice. "You know there's no need. Oh, shit, I gotta go now." He told you quickly, a shuffling coming from the other side of the line. "Take care, 'kay? And if anything happens, you're calling me."

"Y-yeah." You said weakly, the feeling of tiredness coming back. "You too, baby."

You knew you shouldn't feel sad when he closed the phone, but you did. Sighing to yourself, you thought it would be better if you just slept. You suddenly noticed you hadn't eaten anything the whole day, you had skipped both breakfast and lunch, but you were so tired that you thought it would be okay if you just ate when you woke up.

The room was awfully silent, and you didn't even have the strength to stand up and go to your bed. It would be okay if you slept on the couch, right?

With the thought of your lover coming back to you tomorrow, you smiled to yourself and finally gave in to the heaviness on your body and closed your eyes, thinking about how Katsuki would smile if you cooked his favorite food for him when he came back.

***

Bakugou called you the next morning but pouted when you didn't pick it up. He was an early riser anyway, so he thought you just slept in.

He knew you always woke up with him just for his sake but was also aware you could sleep the whole day if he let you. Still, he had an uneasy feeling in his chest, he knew you would wake up early just to talk to him. You sounded tired when you last talked, though, so he didn't call you one more time.

He called you again as he was eating lunch with Kirishima, you probably should have woken up and at least called him back by then. Maybe you just didn't see the missed call he had left.

The phone rang and rang, but you still weren't picking up. He called you again, and again after that, too, his brows furrowing and leaving a small crease of worry on his forehead.

"You good, Bakubro?" He heard Kirishima call to him, realizing he had been looking at his phone screen for the past few minutes. Bakugou clicked his tongue. "Yeah, let's just eat already." He answered grumpily and saw the cheeky smile on his best friend's face.

"Can't even be apart from Y/N a few days?" Kirishima teased and Bakugou clicked his tongue again. "Shut up, shitty hair. It's because of you I'm here."

You must be working, Bakugou thought. Or maybe you were tidying your place up since he knew how messy you could get when he wasn't around. That must be it, he thought. You knew how much he disliked untidiness and must be cleaning to surprise him.

He called and called after that, the uneasy feeling in his chest with every missed call, but he always found an excuse. He called you before his shower, after the shower, as he packed his luggage, after finishing, as he left the place, at the airport, before he got on the plane, but you just didn't pick your phone up.

He felt the strong taste of blood in his mouth, not even aware he was biting his lip. He was so uneasy throughout the flight, still feeling a bit at ease to be finally reunited with you, he could almost feel your sweet scent when he closed his eyes.

Maybe you were mad at him for leaving you the past two days, or he closed the phone too early the day before. You could also be teasing him for when he came back, right? Still, that wasn’t the kind of thing you would do.

He kept calling when he landed, the phone never spending a second without calling you. When he finally came in front of your door, he thought you would run to open the door for him when you heard the sound of the keys. He opened the door with a scowl on his face, ready to scold you when you jumped to his arms.

Or maybe he could hug and kiss you before he did so. Yeah, that would be better, he thought, he could give you a long kiss before he scolded you. "Oi, shitty-" he called out, but instead of seeing your bright smile and beautiful face, he was greeted with absolute silence. "Woman..." His voice trailed off.

The lights were still on, the TV playing in the background, but you were nowhere to be seen. "Babe?" He called out, every scenario playing in his mind, his usually collected movements turning into panicked ones.

"Y/N?!" He shouted again, throwing his luggage to somewhere he wasn't even sure where. He rushed into the living room, the untidy room making him grimace, which meant that you hadn't been cleaning up when he called.

"Y/N!" He shouted one more time, this time, his ruby gaze had finally landed on the small figure on the couch. You looked so small, squeezed between the big pillows of the couch, hugging your body tightly. He could feel his chest tightening at the sight, but the pained look on your face was what caused his breath to hitch in his lungs.

He ran towards you, noticed how your cheeks were bright red, your face glowing with a sheer layer of sweat. Despite the sweat and your red cheeks, you were trembling like a leaf as you hugged yourself for warmth. You were whimpering and mumbling to yourself, and even though he couldn't understand what you were saying, your face that twisted with pain and agony told him he didn't want to know.

His hand touched your forehead, but he pulled it back almost instantly. You were burning.

Bakugou suddenly forgot everything he knew, his thoughts blank, mind full of panic. "Shit!" He mumbled to himself, picking you up from the couch and rushing to the shower. Even your clothes were wet with sweat, though you still nuzzled your face to his neck, hugging him to find warmth.

"I'm so cold." He heard you mumble, a shiver running down your body. "I'm so cold." You repeated, your voice causing his heart to beat faster than it already was. "I know, baby." He told you as he started to run a lukewarm bath, frantically trying to get you out of your damp clothes.

Still, it was a good sign that you were at least somewhat conscious. Bakugou bit his lip anxiously when he heard you whimper his name. "Shh," he cooed, "I'm right here."

He didn't know why, but he could swear a pained look shadow your face when he told you that. Quickly placing you to the bathtub when it was ready, you clung on him weakly. "No- no, don't go, don't go, please!" He heard you cry out. "I'm right here, baby, I'm not leaving you." It was all he could say as tears slid down your cheeks.

Bakugou finally managed to settle you in the tub, the feeling of you unconscious in his arms like he was carrying a doll sending shivers down his spine. He finally let himself fall on the floor, sitting right next to you, burying his face in his hands. This explained why you acted weird the day before, and he was so mad that you didn't even tell him-

His mind blanked when he heard a soft sob coming your way. "Y/N?" He whispered when your sobs got more frequent and stronger. "What's wrong, baby? Are you hurting- why are you crying?" His hands caressing your burning cheek, pushing the hairs back from your face, Bakugou was in desperate need of an answer.

It took a few seconds for you to finally be able to answer. Your voice was so soft and so broken, he wouldn't have been able to understand if he hadn't listened so closely. "I don't want you to die." A sentence that sent shivers down your lover's spine.

"What? What are you-"

"I-I want- I wish we had more time together!" You sobbed, your shoulders shaking violently, and he had to hold you so that your head wouldn't fall into the water. Your face falling forward and back, you didn't have the strength to support your head. Why did you look so sad? What even was the nightmare you were having? Bakugou wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Baby I- I'm right here!" Bakugou called out to you hopelessly, well aware you weren't conscious and probably having a fever dream. He had never felt so hopeless, he would do anything to pull you out of this unconsciousness and tell you it was all a nightmare. So in a desperate hope to reach you, he kept repeating it, "I'm here, baby! I'm not dying, I'm right here, next to you. We're at home, we're together, please!"

"I know." You told him. "I'm happy we at least get to spend our last day together."

"No," He repeated, "please." He groaned, chewing his lip, trying to hold the tears that were forming because of seeing you like this.

"We're not- Y/N we're not dying." He repeated a thousand more times, the words causing a soft smile to form on your lips. Bakugou took a deep breath of relief, thinking the dream finally passed but grimaced when your tears kept coming.

"It's okay," you whispered. "I'm not- sad."

"Baby-" He repeated brokenly, feeling the tears form on his eyes. "We're not- you're not dying." He kept on telling, knowing it didn't reach you. He gasped when you pressed your face to his hand that caressed your cheek.

"I love you." You sighed weakly, and he noticed you were losing all consciousness. Your body felt heavier than it was before, Bakugou noticed, realizing you had probably passed out.

Still, the panic caused his heart to beat so hard in his chest that he thought it might break free, as he brought his hand to your neck and felt your heartbeats.

A deep breath of relief came out of Bakugou's lips, and only then did he notice that his cheeks were wet with tears.

***

Bakugou woke up when he heard you groan, not even aware he fell asleep.

He had carried you back to your bed after the bath, changing the cold compress on your forehead every hour. How long was he asleep?! Did your fever get higher again? He sprung to his legs, running to the bathroom to get a new cold compress, but he froze in his place when he heard your soft voice.

"Katsuki?" He heard you call out, eyes widening with relief and happiness, though the feeling immediately vanished when he realized you were probably hallucinating again. a heavy feeling in his chest when he realized you were hallucinating again. His chest tightened at the thought of you being stuck in those nightmares again.

You kept losing consciousness and regaining it throughout the night, and he felt like he was going to go mad if you begged for him not do die one more time.

"When did you come back?" You asked, you couldn't even open your eyes since they felt like they weighed a ton. Your throat was so dry that every word that came out of your mouth hurt. When you managed to open your eyes, trying to see where your boyfriend was, you knew he was here, you could hear his heavy breathing. Ah, shit. You had fallen asleep (?), he was probably mad at you since you hadn't greeted him.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to cook you dinner but I-" You mumbled, but before you could finish your sentence, you felt strong arms wrapping around your body, pulling you into the familiar chest of his. "Wh- what's wrong?" You asked, surprised by the sudden affection. He buried his face to your neck, his spiky hair tickling your face, his arms that were holding you felt like he was never going to let you go.

"I was so worried- I was so fucking worried!" He muttered into your neck, and you noticed how his voice was breaking. The silent sobs, you hadn't missed, or the way his shoulders shook ever so slightly, although he was trying to hide it, you always noticed.

You gave him the time he needed as he tried to get himself back together between your arms. You weren't exactly sure what happened, but you were positive he would be scolding you about it every day for the next few weeks.

"You shitty woman." He muttered as he pulled back, his hand still cupping your cheek and his ruby-red eyes softer than you had ever seen them. "You were fucking burning up when I came home, I had to run a bath and shit and you-" He suddenly stopped speaking, turning his gaze away from you, something very unlike him. Bakugou never missed the chance to either tease or scold you about something, you had never seen him holding back.

"What?" You asked, trying to find his gaze once again, and he grunted, annoyed, but rolled his eyes when you kept pushing. "What happened? What did I do?"

"You were fucking sick, okay?" He blurted out, "Why didn't you tell me, dumbass?" His ruby eyes glinted with worry, and you bit your lip not sure how to answer. "I thought it would get better if I just slept." You mumbled apologetically.

"Yeah, obviously." He growled and clicked his tongue in annoyance. You sighed as you tried to sit up, but the sharp pain in your head caused you to gasp and fall back to the pillow. "Don't you fucking move." He warned, and you smiled weakly.

"I wanted to cook for you, today." You muttered. "I'm sorry I couldn't greet you. I missed you a lot, you know."

A sliver of pain went across his face, and although he clicked his tongue and tried to hide it with an annoyed expression, you caught it still. "What's wrong, baby?" You asked softly, running your hands through his hair, the motion causing him to relax under your touch. It was something he never asked for, but you knew how much he liked it when you played with his hair.

You could feel it by the way he leaned into your touch, how he hid the sigh of relief and happiness whenever your fingers twirled his soft locks around them, how he always lay his head to somewhere your hand could easily reach.

"I- I'ts nothing." Bakugou mumbled, a small smile on his lips as he closed his eyes, snuggling even closer to you.

He could finally relax, knowing that you were here, here with him, out of that nightmare.

"Nothing," he told you. "I'm just happy you're here."