Opening Up A Pineapple

Opening up a pineapple

So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

Thus far, there is: the entirety of Wings of Fire, 1-15 plus those side stories, A signed copy of enders game, a signed copy of clockwork three, 3 copies of the communist manifesto in english, russian, and maybe english again, All of the inheritance cycle in hardback, 4 false books, A single magic treehouse book, ico the video game but a novel (it's pretty good actually), something about horse massages, all manga if FMA in japanese, various scriptures in a variety of languages, the entire history of texas in like 4 volumes, and some kind of book about mazes and horror mystery, i think it's hebrew related but in my defense i don't speak hebrew and half the people kinda claim to speak it, idk, 2 comics of wildly different genres, 2 whole boxes of magazines like Cobblestone, friend, american girl, reminisce, and hundreds of scholastic book fair catalogues, cause yeah, exactly half of Prisoner of Azkaban, Every Sherlock Holmes original, a startling amount of Opus and Bloom County comics, and every possible calvin and hobbes, but no garfield. Unrelated but interesting a set of antlers a good 5 feet wide, tip to tip. I can't tell what it belonged to because they are too big for elk but wrong for moose send help

Somehow, in some way, my entire house has hundreds of hundreds of books, bookshelves in every room, of everything from fiction to non fiction to textbooks to language dictionaries, to studies in the church, but not one, not a single book, not even a page, is an English language dictionary. 2 copies if mark Twain, but not one dictionary in english. We have one in japanese, russian, german, latin, but not one for english words. We have 2 copies of enders game, rick riordans red pyramid, from war and peace to wings of fire, 3 floors of books and bookshelves, not including the attic and garage, but no dictionary. George RR Martin to James Patterson to John Flanagan, but no dictionary

Honestly, it comes from a Christian texan upbringing to a Mormon adulthood after they had my oldest brother, so it's hopping from train to train on stuff like that. On the plus side, they aren't abusive or restrictive when it comes to conformity of opinions, unless they disagree, but even then they're mostly like"ur wrong" and leave it be. Yeah they're crap sometimes, but at least they let me dream of Writing professionally

Me, building a character: i think I'm going to change it from a girl to a guy. Yeah.

My parents, white, Christian, homophobic: Do you have a reason? You must have a reason for everything in your story at all times when it concerns your character, it's your choice🙂🙂🤗☺️😊😘😘😆

Me: I'm gonna give him dreadlocks/cornrows and dyed tips because I like how that looks.

Them, immediately: bUT tHe ReaSOn, yOu CaN sTEreOtyPE aLOt fRoM ThE hAiRstYleS, hEs sO ROugH LOokINg, iTs SO

Me: it's dreadlocks

My favorite times are when your scrolling along, and find a theory that is so spot on it has to be made after it was confirmed and done, but then you check the post date and it says something about how it was made a year previous to the show season or something, so you have to quietly lose your mind at how close they'd

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