Sex-positivity Is A Movement That Arose From A Need For Us To Accept And Value Sexuality Without Guilt,

3 Reasons Why Sex-Positivity without Critical Analysis Is Harmful - Everyday Feminism

I like what sex-positivity sets out to do, but the problem for me is the way that a lot of people practice sex-positivity in the mainstream movement – namely, without a critical analysis component. And I want to talk about that. So here are three points to consider when thinking through this stuff.

Sex-positivity is a movement that arose from a need for us to accept and value sexuality without guilt, shame, and hurt.

I’m about that.

But when we stop asking hard questions in favor of assuming that everything is revolutionarily enlightened and therefore devoid of the intricacies of oppressive structures, I have to step back and question whether or not that’s a movement I want to be a part of.

And unless that critical analysis is present, I don’t.

When women want to fuck monsters:

When men want to fuck monsters:

Conclusion: men are fucking cowards.

Doesn't condone real misogyny, just gets off on it.

not fond of this timeline ladies

if you’re able to recognize that if a woman is starving herself or cutting herself or otherwise harming herself, there are underlying issues that need to be figured out and addressed, both with the individual woman and with the societal pressures that force her to resort to such harmful behaviors, then you should be able to recognize that this same work needs to be done when considering women who enjoy being harmed during sex.

just because she is sexually gratified by it, and even if she actively, enthusiastically consents to it, does not mean that the behavior/experience is suddenly harmless, or that it’s inherently exempt from critique.

if a woman is consensually with someone who is sexually gratified by hurting/beating/degrading/abusing her, if she herself is being sexually gratified by being abused, we need to be asking why.

if you would worry about a woman who gets physical (but not sexual) pleasure from being stabbed, and purposely seeks out people who she can trust to stab her, then you need to worry about the woman who asks to be choked, whipped, electrocuted, and otherwise abused during sex.

You know what’s messed up? People make fun of women for reading romance novels in which men are kind, chivalrous and sexually generous to the women they love, but men watching violent hardcore porn where women choke on dicks is considered normal, and ‘shaming’ someone for it is considered more taboo than the porn itself. And women reading romance novels has certainly yet to lead to a culture where men are considered lesser if they don’t emulate the men in the pages. I wonder the fuck why.

Loving to Survive: Sexual Terror, Men’s Violence, and Women’s Lives (pdf here)