The Cowboy Next Door

the cowboy next door ♡

pairing: agent whiskey x virgin f!reader

summary: a retired whiskey is left with too much time on his hands, but thankfully your bedroom window makes for great entertainment.

warnings: stalking, masturbation, spitting, dacryphilia, dumbification, degradation, unprotected sex, choking, manhandling, breeding if u squint, corruption, age gap (reader is 20). just creepy, suburban whiskey.

word count: 6.8k

authors note: the more i read this the more it sounds like joe goldberg cowrote it

read part two here.

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Give her romance and disgusting sex

i have an unpopular opinion but i’m scared to share it bc i know ppl r gonna get mad at me

Angst fics can help people come to terms with their own grief, begin healing, or give people that good cry that they need.

Smut fics can help people affirm and accept their sexuality. It can help them explore their sexuality in a safe way. They can also just be fun, and having fun is a drastically undervalued way to improve your mental health.

Dark fics can help people face their fears or process their trauma. It can make them feel safer and more secure. It can help them find their courage.

Fluff fics can give people rest and respite and comfort. It can give them hope that soft places exist and that maybe there is one out there for them. It can bring up their mood, which, if they have depression, can be a life saver.

And every fic people write makes someone feel less alone.

Point being, just because a particular thing doesn’t serve you, doesn’t mean it lacks value.

This is not to say that we have to consume all fic uncritically. Of course not. It is just to say that entire “genres” aren’t trash or lacking value just because they don’t serve you.

i am begging you all to stop treating this site like instagram if you dont want it to be content free by next year

The podcast with the Duffers talking about Eddie really pissed me off. They just really came off as if they'd put very little thought into his character other than, hey, wouldn't it be cool if...? So many things don't add up.

Like, them saying he was never going to graduate. That was just an unrealistic dream of his. For one, have they never heard of a GED? (No, but, seriously, have they??)

And also, Eddie wasn't stupid. He read Lord of the Rings. Not an easy novel to get through, and especially frustrating for those who don't read well. He tends to have a pretty impressive vocabulary. Writes out entire D&D campaigns, including maps, etc (again with the reading), and I have yet to meet a D&D DM who isn't smart and creative and incredibly detailed. He pulls percentages out of his ass for weed discounts. And, hello, it's doubtful his family had the means for guitar lessons, so he is one hundred percent self-taught. Which leads me to believe the only reason he hadn't graduated was because he didn't want to (and that's an entirely separate topic delving into Eddie's psyche that I'll save for another day). Let's not also ignore the fact that he very likely designed the Hellfire logo.

But, he had no future. And yes, yes, the whole 'but he was wanted for murder and would end up on death row' excuse. In a show where the government has multiple times stepped in to make up stories to clean up the mess from the Upside Down. Where there was zero evidence to pin it on Eddie, and, oh yeah, multiple witnesses including Steve, Dustin, Max, and Robin who could literally provide an alibi for Eddie during Fred's death??

ETA: ALSO. You can't use the whole murder thing as an excuse when Hopper, the heroic sheriff, would've been back just in time to step in and go, uh, no. Sorry. Not him.

But, seriously, Duffers. Do you think before you say any of this crap?