Today Is My Birthday. I Dont Particularly Like My Birthday. In Fact, I Hate It. I Dont Like To Be Reminded

Today is my birthday. I don’t particularly like my birthday. In fact, I hate it. I don’t like to be reminded that I’m alive and real. It forces me to acknowledge that time passes and im still broken inside. That I have not gotten any better. i dont feel older, in fact i still feel like a child hiding under my bed.

Me: I'm so exhausted and drained from my chronic pain that I'll sleep well tonight

My body:

I hate being in between. Not actively suicidal, but hell how I want to die… I just want to vanish, disappear into thin air, I’m not strong enough to attempt… I wish I had though…

Katelyn and Neil are the only people that can differentiate the twins when they're wearing big hoodies (that cover slight differences in their muscles and cover Andrew's armbands). This is because they think the twin they're not dating is ugly, even tough the Twinyards have the same face. It's like a 6th sense.

(It's probably something in their eyes - Katelyn likes the underlying soft sadboy-ness in Aaron, while Neil is drawn to the calculating edge and protectiveness in Andrew)

The very strange disabled experience of constantly downplaying your own pain and then out of nowhere you have an Epiphany and realize that most people don't have days where they wake up feeling like a deboned fish.

im obsessed with andreil winning every fucking queer tournament in existence this niche book not only seems to have a huge fansebase but also the main couple hits like coke and has everyone on a leash nora could dominate the whole world