From Wikipedia: Familiar Stranger

From Wikipedia: Familiar stranger

“ A familiar stranger is an individual who is recognized by another from regularly sharing a common physical space such as a street or bus stop, but with whom one does not interact. First identified by Stanley Milgram in the 1972 paper The Familiar Stranger: An Aspect of Urban Anonymity ”

“We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.”

— The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972

I think there's some level of exorsexism as a system in the residence to transandrophobia. Many arguing against it seems to be immediately equating it to or judging it by transmisogyny, as though it must just be the "male" version of transmisogyny and saying that's not a thing. Of course it's not a thing. But you don't (or at least I don't) see these same arguments about enbyphobia, a term looking at the unique forms of transphobia and oppression against nonbinary people. Of course enbyphobia isn't the nonbinary version of transmisogyny, it's its own thing and equating it like that would be inaccurate and potentially offensive. With nonbinary people there's not the same need to immediately equate it to transmisogyny, so why the need with transandrophobia? I think part of it is still unlearning the idea that men and women, masculinity and femininity are clear inverses and opposites that should be judged based off one another. That belief is wrong, and it's a part of exorcism, gender essentialism, enbyphobia, and transphobia in different ways. It's also deeply ingrained in our society and the social construction of gender. It's hard to unlearn, but worth it. Just sharing thoughts with you because you post interesting analysis. It's also just one potential part of things, not everything.

Ohh, that’s a really great point!

And it does really reveal some flaws in how we think about transmisogyny, even; as if it’s just transphobia + misogyny, and nothing more.

Transmisogyny is a system that targets transfemininity as a whole, and it’s founded on certain ideas about gender that aren’t specific or exclusive to just women, or just trans people. It drums up a panic about transfemininity because “men in dresses” are dangerous, and trying to hurt and predate on women; and this is rooted in a misogynistic idea about men. Because the patriarchy also believes that men (particularly men of color) are dangerous, aggressive, and sexually insatiable.

It says transfeminine people are trying to “trick” straight men, because gay men are dangerous predators; combining homophobic and misogynistic ideas that are primarily about gay men. Plus, of course, the transphobia in all of these ideas- that trans people aren’t who we say we are, that being trans is gross and unnatural, etc.

Take that with other forms of transmisogyny: transfems being tokenized, objectified, fetishized, and of course, suffering the more familiar types of misogyny that we see directed at women- and those the patriarchy sees as women.

All of that those things are valid struggles, and all of them need attention. “Transmisogyny” isn’t just saying that trans women and transfems experience misogyny (they do), it’s also saying that there is a deeper system of interconnected gender-based oppression, which is targeting transfemininity in specific ways. Erasing any aspect of that erases large swaths of those experiences.

There’s resistance to the idea that “transandrophobia” is describing a similarly unique system of oppression, founded on other, interconnected forms of gender-based oppression. Like transmisogyny, there are aspects of misogyny, transphobia, and homophobia there- all in ways that are unique in how they target transmasculine people. 

And it reveals a resistance to the exact same ideas in “transmisogyny”. Because- like you said- people don’t like this idea that there is deviation from a neat gender binary in how these things work.

Trans women and trans men are, under the patriarchy, viewed and treated as entirely separate genders from cis women and cis men. We aren’t perfect opposites (men and women never are!), and our experiences of oppression will always be closer to each other’s than they are to cis men and cis women’s.

That’s what “transandrophobia” actually says. But people argue with the arguments they fabricate instead, because it’s easier & more comfortable than widening their entire understanding of gender-based oppression- for the benefit of all trans people.

today, 8th of april, is the international rromani day. today the rroma are still subjected to discrimination, marginalisation and segregation. discrimination is widespread in every field of public and personal life, including access to public places, education, employment, health services and housing. the rroma community is still not regarded as an ethnic or national minority group in every member state (in europe) and thus it does not enjoy the rights pertaining to this status in all the countries concerned.

bring awareness of this issue. this is a map with that reflects the size of the rroma population in each european country.

Some sites to donate money to help to better the life of rroma communities:

Secretariado Gitano (Spain)

Roma Edutional Fund (International)

European Roma Grassroots Organisations Network (International)

Roma support group (UK)

@oprerroma has a lot of resources and organisations on her bio where you can donate to.

Feel free to add your paypal, cashapp, etc to this post if you're rroma. Also if you know of local/national organisations that accept donations add them to this post as well.

Manager: So can you talk to me a bit about your strengths and weaknesses?

Me: *literally just describes ADHD symptoms*