Dear Writers Who Are Slower/take More Time With Their Writing Or Writers Who Are On Hiatus Or Writers

dear writers who are slower/take more time with their writing or writers who are on hiatus or writers who are trying to find their voice again, i see you and i love you and you are valid

It hurts to see couples

It hurts to see couples. It hurts to see hands holding each other. It hurts to see lips kissing. It hurts to be a witness and never a perpetrator.

Never to have felt that kind of look on you, so radiant with happiness. It hurts to have all those memories that showed you that something about you just makes you not even a choice.

It hurts to be alone. I have no one to talk to about these feelings. I have no friends. I have no girls I could call and cry. I was already an outsider among my friends back then. I was just there. I was quickly replaced. I was feeling down and I wanted some distance. I canceled two meetings, because I didn't have the strength. After that, I was just out.

I have a family, but they wouldn't be any use for conversations like that. If I told my mother how I really felt, all I would hear is that I should just look for friends. Great advice from a woman with no friends. A vicious circle in generations. It wouldn’t be about my feelings, but what my mother thought of them.

I feel alone. I long for a loving and tender embrace. I long for someone to say: This little one belongs to me and I love her. I long for sweet lips that press against my skin and strong hands that touch me. I long for small affections. I would probably burst into tears if someone just hugged me.

It hurts to see what you never had.

One or Two Books my Ass

Summary: modern!Aegon writes erotic books. (Y/n) finds out and Aegon's self-doubt takes over.

Wordcount: 658

Warnings: mention of a mommy kink (like in the last sentence), no use of (Y/n), no actual smut, just fluff

"No! NO!" Aegon snatched the pages, she had found on his desk from her hand and pressed them to his chest.

She looked at him in bewilderment. "Did you write this?"

"No.", he said sulkily. "That's... from the internet", he babbled and put the thin script in a lockable drawer.

"Ah. And the editor's notes were from the internet too?"

Aegon's face looked stubbornly at the drawer. "Just a hobbie.", he muttered, but his jaw was grinding. He left the room, but she quickly followed him.

"That's really good!", she called after him. "Aegon, I'm serious. You're writing?"

He flopped down on the sofa in the living room. He sighed. "I might have one or two books... published.", he sulked.

She sat down next to him, irritated. "That's actually something most people would be proud of, mouse." She put his legs on her thighs and stroked his calves.

He stubbornly looked at the ceiling. "I write porn. Go on. Make fun of me." he grumbled. "Like everyone else." He mumbled so quietly that she almost didn't hear him.

"You write erotica and it seems you do it very well. It's not an easy genre."

He laughed spitefully. "Sure."

She sighed. Who had told him again, that it wasn't worth anything? His brother? His mum? She continued to stroke his leg. "Tell me. Who put the flea in your ear?"

He closed his eyes in surrender. "My nephew - Luke - found my first script. It was about to be published. I was actually kind of proud." He scratched at the bit of callus on his thumb, as he always did when he got nervous. "He ran into the dining room and read it out loud, laughing. The rare times my father looked at me, he just looked at me dismissively, my mum was ashamed of me and Aemond was almost bursting with glee for my embarrassment. From then on, my nephews only called me Porn-Shakspear."

He curled up and buried his face in the pillows.

"Why are you still doing it if you're so embarrassed?", she asked gently.

"It makes money.", he mumbled.

She laughed. "Your family is rich."

"But it's my money.", he explained sadly. "I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a CEO. I'm not a manager. I'm not smart, but... apparently I can, do that..." He sighed devotedly. "At least I can do that."

She squeezed herself between him and the back of the sofa. She gently pulled him into her arms. He buried his face in her chest. "I really like it. Apart from that, I actually really like reading things like that. Do you have a pen name? Maybe I've read something of yours before.", she smiled and kissed the top of his head.

"A.I.I. Black.", he just mumbled.

"What?", she blurted out?

He looks up at her in confusion. Fear was in his eyes.

"I bloody love your books!", she declared.

He blushed and buried himself against her chest again.

"Do you know, how many times we read you at book club?", she asked with a laugh.

"Stop it.", he whined, wrapping his arms tighter around her waist so she couldn't force him to look at her.

She gave up and started stroking his hair. He was almost purring at that.

"One or two books my ass. Bestsellers Aegon! Several worldwide bestsellers! Wait a minute. How much do you make from that?"

He bit his lip in embarrassment. "Let's just say it's weird being a billionaire heir and a self-made millionaire at the same time."

"You bloody little genius." She tousled his hair. "And your asshole-family probably doesn't even suspect a thing."

"So you're not embarrassed by me?", he asked meekly.

"Of course not.", she mumbled softly into his hair, "But-"

He did look up now. She grinned. "I have a few things I want to try."

He smiled. "Anything you want... Mommy?"

"My good boy.", she praised and kissed him quickly on his forehead.

"Fuck."

Pixie

Summary: The boys react to the new short hair of (Y/n).

Characters: Ghost, Soap, Rudy, König

Wordcount: 1.247

Authors note: To all my short haired girlies who just need a little support.

Ghost

"It's short." He looked at me emotionlessly. There was no reaction apart from this sentence.

"So?", I asked rather nervously.

He just shrugged his shoulders. "Cute.", he said. He tousled my now short hair. "Relax."

I pouted. "That was a big step for me, okay?"

He just took me in his arms. "It looks good." He kissed the top of my head and sneezed right after, because of the tickling stubble. Something he deeply hated doing in front of other people. Simon may be a bull of a man, but he had the sneeze of a kitten.

I stifled my giggles.

He just grumbled, "I'll have to get used to that."

I snuggled against his chest. "You really like it?"

He stroked the short hair on the back of my neck. Cuddled me properly. "I like it... now your spider webs of hair aren't flying around everywhere."

I punched him lightly on the chest. "Ass."

"Love you too." He tugged lightly on a strand of hair and smiled with this look in his eyes, that told me he was just remembering one of the few fond memories from his childhood.

"What?", I asked cautiously.

The tips of his ears turned slightly red. "When I was little, a girl in my class had short hair... Maybe I had a bit of a crush on her."

I grinned at him. "There was someone before me?" I groaned in mock shock.

He rolled his eyes. "I was eight!"

I kissed him lightly. "I love you."

He ran his hand over my head. "Love you, too."

Soap

I walked as quickly as I could through the apartment and into the bathroom. Annoyed, I ripped the shower head from its holder and held my head over the bath. The water ran through my cut of strands and I breathed a sigh of relief. I hated the amount of mousse that hairdressers always slammed into my hair.

Like that would change the fact, that I hated the cut. I could feel the tears coming again. I rubbed my hair dry and looked in the mirror, exhausted.

Johnny hesitantly opened the door. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. I had spent weeks looking for a cut I liked, only to leave the store with "something" on my head.

I pulled up the snot. Johnny gave me a quick hug and ran his fingers through the wet strands. "That's longer than the cut you chose.", he said.

"It's not what I chose at all." I took a deep breath. It was just hair, but the teasing from school still ran deep.

"You give it a quick wash now. Okay?",he mumbled.

I hung my head over the bath and started washing my hair until the sticky feeling was finally gone.

Johnny immediately wrapped a towel around my head and rubbed it dry.

"Sit down.", he just said and sat me on the toilet lid. I saw Johnny standing in front of me with his cell phone and a pair of scissors in his hand.

"What are you going to do?", I asked, irritated.

He just grinned. "I've been cutting my hair for years. I can manage it."

I sighed. "Why not?"

Johnny was beaming like a child at Christmas and studied the picture I had sent him a few days ago in detail. Then he set to work with great concentration, cutting my head more by feel than anything else. It couldn't get any worse than the mushroom hairstyle I left with.

He looked almost professional as he divided the hair and checked every now and then to make sure it was lying the way he wanted it.

Then he rubbed the towel over my head again and nodded with satisfaction. He reached for the hairdryer and put it in place before grabbing one of his various hair gels and styling it.

"Voilà.", he grinned and pulled me up to look in the mirror.

I stared. "That's perfect.", I whispered. Johnny grinned behind me. "I know."

I ran my fingers through the now more beautiful strands. "How are you so good at this?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I've been cutting mine forever and every now and then I cut someone's hair at base."

I pulled him in for a kiss. "Thank you."

He ran his hand over the back of my head. "Always."

Rudy

"Morning." he murmured, smiling. I buried myself in the pillow again. I was slow to come back to the land of the living and realized that my scalp felt different. I remembered yesterday. I remembered that I had finally taken the plunge and cut off my hair. I remembered all too well that Rudy had shown me, what he thought of my new look. My neck felt sore. Rudy is and always has been a biter. I ran my hand over my head. "How bad is it?", I asked, still tired.

Rudy laughed lightly. "I thought we established yesterday, that I like it."

I grinned. "Yeah." I peeked at him through one eye. "I meant more the current state."

He stroked my hair. "I think it's cute."

I grinned. "I feel like an Araucana chicken."

He laughed relaxed. "My sweet Araucana chicken."

I buried myself against his chest. Gently, he ran his fingers over my back. "I must confess... It's quite pleasant to not swallow your hair all the time in my slepp."

I laughed. "You're welcome."

He kissed me on the nose and tousled my head. "Does my Araucana chicken want to shower with me?"

I grinned. "Only if my silky fowl comes with me."

He stumbled. "I don't look like a silky."

I grinned. "Just a little bit."

He buried me playfully underneath him and maltreated my neck with his mouth, grinning. I laughed and surrendered to his caresses.

König (Klaus)

I felt big hands running over my head. I rolled my eyes with a grin and looked up from my book.

The mountain of a man, who called himself my boyfriend stood behind me with an embarrassed grin and looked down at me.

"Sorry.", he mumbled.

I shook my head. "That's all right. Let off steam."

He lifted me off the sofa, sat on it himself and then draped me so that I could continue reading on his lap. His hands continued to run through the short strands of hair on my head.

I almost felt like a cat being cuddled. I could understand the little creatures. I put my book aside with a sigh and curled up on top of him.

"I would have cut my hair off much earlier, if I'd known I'd get a head massage every day."

He just grumbled and continued stroking my head.

I let myself be lulled by his fingers, until my eyes fell shut. I was almost in the land of dreams when I was torn from my relaxation.

Pumpkin the cat was standing next to us and screaming at Klaus. It didn't matter that I had rescued the little one. Klaus had been her human from day one. Klaus and only Klaus.

He laughed lightly and lifted the cat onto his lap too. She let him stroke her demonstratively and showed me which of us was number one here.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. Cats.

Klaus pressed a kiss to my lips. Pumpkin immediately rubbed her head at his chin.

"Hey, I saved you. He didn't want you at all!"

He laughed. "My two girls." he sighed.