duckduckbear

DuckDuckBear

57 posts

You Know, If You Keep Gaining Weight And Not Paying Attention To These Dangerous Numbers In Your Chart

…”You know, if you keep gaining weight and not paying attention to these dangerous numbers in your chart you have five years, tops.

*wheeze…pant…* “thank…gasp…you dr.“ is all you can muster.

Your partner eases you back into the car. They gently whisper in your ear, “changes indeed will be happening, let’s surprise the doctor and make it two years.”

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duckduckbear

1 year ago

Beer17? Bowl?

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duckduckbear

1 year ago

Huh. I’ve got the “gotta powder the inner thighs every day” gainer upgrade.

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duckduckbear

1 year ago

13 beers. Loads of snacks.

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584 notes View Post

duckduckbear

1 year ago

Quick smoke n jiggle.

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279 notes View Post

duckduckbear

1 year ago

You smoked a joint, gorged until your gut stretched, and drank until you passed out on the couch in a hedonistic stupor.

You wake up to me holding a preroll to your mouth. I have a massive greasy breakfast and more beer behind me.

Time to do it all again.

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