The Fact That I'm No Longer The Same Age As The Protagonists Of Novels And Films I Once Connected To

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

I'm a girl. Of course, I'm going to cut you mid-sentence and ask you the weirdest 'what if' and the strangest 'this or that' questions out of the blue.

you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

For you, I let my favourite singer change into something absurd that you love. I adore how I used to pretend that I liked the music just to be a little likeable to you. For you, I let my healing romantic movies and love change into something so distinct from my taste. I adore how I used to screenshot all of your favourite movie dialogues just so we could have similar astes. For you, I let my timings be rearranged so I could just have a glimpse of your presence.

Just for you, I understand the other half of myself. I never knew I would do something that would change my tastes. Well, maybe it's this weird little crush on you that whenever I try to be more likeable to you, it all makes sense.

‘Lamia and the Soldier‘ by John William Waterhouse, c. 1905.