I Have Determined That I Am Entirely Too Bitter And Lonely To Have So Many Love Songs On My Spotify Playlists

i have determined that i am entirely too bitter and lonely to have so many love songs on my spotify playlists

I like some of my imaginary ships where two broken people love each other and listen to each other and help each other because i desperately need that in my life. I desperately need someone who can take my hand and lead me away from my desk, press a cup of tea in my hand and hold me while i cry. And then tomorrow I do the same for them.

depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

The nose icon in Teams looks like a penis.

So depression lies, right?

And depression tells you to pull back, to pull away, to withdraw.

Withdraw from friends, withdraw from everything that makes you feel good, from life.

But at the same time, you're supposed to take care of yourself, and to be kind to yourself and not burn yourself out.

How do you tell the difference between cutting down on what you're doing because it's healthy self-care and cutting down on what you're doing because you're shutting down?

Am I hating everything I'm doing because I'm depressed and that's just how depression works? Or am I hating everything I'm doing because it fucking sucks and I need to cut it out?

Both?

Does anyone have a brain decoder ring they'd be willing to share? I swear I'll give it back.

It is interesting to look through the posts here. This episode has been gradually picking up speed and has lasted longer than i remembered.