Where Is My TUA's Fic Where Jesus "if You're Offended By How She Dresses Well Look Away" Is The Nice

Where is my TUA's fic where Jesus "if you're offended by how she dresses well look away" is the nice but sassy big brother of the Marigold's children and tries to put some sense in them or simply being an healthy support ?

Like manifesting in Five and Luther's dreams when they were alone in the Apocalypse/on the Moon for chatting with them so they don't feel abandoned.

Being the literal guardian angel of Claire so Allison can get a break with peace in her mind.

Secretly multiplying food in Diego's cupboard when he forgot to go shopping after a rough week of vigilant activities.

Blessing every water Ben touchs when he was alive because it will calm down The Horror and he want to help his little brother feel better.

Manifesting to Klaus like a ghost for big brothered him with Ben. "You need to eat Klaus.

-I ate two hours ago!

-You need VEGETABLES not smarties!" And also scaring the bad souls so they let him alone.

And convincing the souls of dead famous violinists to manifest in Viktor's dreams for helping him with the new piece he's working on.

WHERE IS IT DUH?

Parenthesis

My theory for the TUA's canon is that Reggie created the Marigold's children

BUT

As a headcanon I like the idea of God created them when she was in a nostalgic mood (because Jesus was so good how it can possibly go wrong?), I made some incorrect quotes for that. Tired Parent God and Big Brother Jesus is my confort au ok ?

I present you my MHA x She-ra (2018) AU.

(Here there are only the ones with an elementary runestone)

Tsuyu is the Queen of Salineas, she is 21 (in season 1) and has frog and water powers. She also know how to kick ass with a trident.

Ochaco is the Princess of Bright Moon, she is 16 and has the power to control the gravity of what she touchs. She is also a good fighter.

Hitoshi is the King of Sonaria (ok I invented this one because I didn't really like Plumeria, sorry not sorry). He is 21, he cans control people by his voice but he only cans give one order before letting go the person, he fights with his father's scepter which is a tool for guide his voice and not control his allies.

Shoto is the King of the Kingdom of Snows, he is 12. He became king at 8 after the destruction of the Mount Candila and the Spirit Ember, provoking the death of his family. He has ice powers and when he was connected to the Spirit Ember he also had fire powers.

Touya is the Prince of the Mount Candila. He is dead at 18 during the destruction of the kingdom. He has fire powers.

Eijirou is technically the Prince of the Fright Zone but the place is under the Horde's control. No powers detected be due to an absence of connection with the Black Garnet.

Izuku is connected to the Sword of Protection, giving him the power of One For All also called Prince of Power. The sword gives him different capacities like a super force, energy blasts or a control on most of the First Ones' technologies.

Who dare you to hide this in the tags.

Dabi: The league wanted to give out Christmas presents, but none of them will admit it.

Hawks: I mean, understandable.

Dabi: So they broke into the mall and got sent to the police station.

Dabi: And gave the police officer a Christmas present.

Hawks: Oh my god.

Other possibility:

-Envy look like his mother, Dante, and accidentally look like this version of his dad but by pure luck because sexy blond is Hohenheim's type even when it comes to choose a body 😂

did 03 hohenheim specifically choose bodies that looked like his original one when hoping because he thought he was such a sexy bastard that he couldn’t possibly do better than this original one or did envy make up a form on the spot that just resembled hohenheim’s current form enough to say “hey look! i’m this bastard’s kid too!” like i dunno this is just a question that haunts me. 

Ok but doesn't it will be funny if Sebastian spend so much time with Bruce that when he accidentally discoverers his boss is Batman he just became very dense?

Bruce: *in his Batman costume. Going into his office at 4:00 am during a patrol for taking new batrangs because his kids use them for playing darts on a LexCorp's billboard. Has removed his mask*

Sebastian: *walk in* Oh my god boss-

Bruce: Wait it's not what you think-

Sebastian: I didn't know you're a Batman's cosplayer!

Bruce: ... Hey you can say it's my dark secret.

Alright, you know the drill new fic idea let’s go

Brucie wayne and his disaster assistant, but he’s such a sweetie that Bruce can’t bring himself to fire him

Sebastian: [hands Bruce his coffee, goes to sip his own]

Bruce: [sips and grimaces]

Sebastian: [sips and spits it back in the cup before realizing they had the wrong coffees] “oops…”

Bruce: [is so so so tired, closes his eyes] “I don’t care if you don’t care” [hands Sebastian his coffee and takes the other cup]

Sebastian: “I’m so sorry… I can get you another”

Bruce: [drinking his coffee] “it’s fine… I’m sure you’ve wanted to sip in my cup at some point”

Some TUA incorrect quotes about God

Spoilers s3 I think?

God: Jesus is the kid who made me want to have more kids.

God: Klaus is the kid who made me regret to had 43 more.

__

Jesus: *die crucified* Hey mom, sorry I came home a little early.

God: Oh my sweet baby, don't worry I will give you a little add so you can say goodbye to your friends and then I will make cookies for when you came back :)

.

Klaus: *die* Sup' mom! I know you said I hadn't curfew but I'm here <3

God: I didn't say you hadn't curfew I said I disown you, get out of my house.

__

God: Jesus! My sweet baby, I love you so much 🥺. You're such a good kid, I was so mad when humans killed you! Didn't the abilities I gave you were good enough? *sob* I want more kids, I'm sure they will be sweetheart like you. This time I'm gonna make them fucking badass so humans can't fuck up my babies >:(

*creates the Marigold's children*

*17 years later*

Half of them are dead or are claimed missing. 13 of them have been traumatized by Reggie. Five fucked up time and reality. Viktor caused the apocalypse directly or indirectly three times. Christopher is a cube. Klaus keeps dying and being a disrespectful little bitch.

God: What I have done...

__

Klaus: Why don't you just let me in the afterlife! Are you homophobic >:( ?

God: I'm literally a lesbian you're just an asshole.

__

God: Yes I love all my children equally. Jesus, Viktor, Five, Allison, /insert all the names of the Marigold's children/ and *reading the palm of her hand* Klovs...

__

Dave: *arriving in the afterlife* Hum, hello, are you God?

God: Since you're weird enough for falling in love with the ghosty bitch I don't know if it's a good idea of letting you in.

__

God "I created you so I can choose what I love or not": Yes I'm the superior being of life. An entity full of love and mercy.

Klaus: Hi.

God: Except for you.