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Happy Mother’s Day! 🌟

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SPOILER: Miss Tybur is ready to kick his ass 😤

Attack On Titan 1933 : Marley Noon and Night

Kaworu’s character development

I was re-reading parts of the Evangelion manga recently, and I just realised that after Shinji faints, Kaworu looks really… concerned and … sad??????

That single panel on the bottom right is probably the most emotion he’s shown so far in the story. He makes this expression that he’s never made before - downcast eyebrows, downcast eyes, a slight frown, a sigh from his lips. He looks worried, sympathetic, even upset.

And he does it again a few panels later (!!)

To put this into context, this is how he reacted to Asuka’s mind being violated by Arael:

And this is how he reacted to Rei’s death:

In fact, it’s this insensitive response that triggers Shinji to hyperventilate and faint in the first place. I’ve heard people say that Shinji’s hyperventilation in the manga comes out of no where and is just a convenient plot device so that he ends up being taken care of by Kaworu. Well, no. His hyperventilation is triggered by Rei’s death, and the fact that Kaworu mocks her sacrifice to his face.

But after Shinji seemingly has a panic attack and faints, it’s almost as if Kaworu seems… sorry for what he said. Sorry for hurting him. 

Now for any ordinary person, feeling sorry for someone who had a panic attack is just basic empathy or human decency. But Kaworu is no ordinary person. He’s an Angel. Angels are portrayed as very solitary, individualistic creatures. Despite all being children of Adam, they don’t seem to be in contact with each other or working together as a collective, in contrast to the human characters. Hell, Kaworu even fights and helps kill other Angels, that’s how much of a shit he gives about them.

Thus, the Angels’ very drive is loneliness itself, to end their isolation by merging with Adam. Kaworu comes to live amongst humans for the first time and is immediately portrayed as completely apathetic and lacking in any kind of empathy. Kensuke even described him as “creepy, completely inhuman.”

In fact, he is fascinated by humans’ ability to care about things outside themselves, albeit in a rather smug, condescending way. For example, look at the arrogant smirk he has when asking Shinji why he’s so desperate to save Asuka. The idea of wanting to save or caring about another person is completely alien to him.

When he thinks of “humans” he thinks of Shinji, the person he’s had the most interaction with.

So far, the strongest emotion Shinji has shown him is anger. Anger when he snapped the kitten’s neck in a “mercy kill”, anger when he walked in on him in the shower, anger at himself when he couldn’t do anything to save Asuka. He didn’t, couldn’t understand why Shinji could feel so strong an emotion, all over other people.

That was until the Armistael attack, when Rei’s emotions briefly flowed through his own mind, and he experienced, vicariously, her pain, her loneliness and most of all, her love. Her love for Shinji, that made her jealous of Asuka to the point of finding her hateful. Her love was the reason her heart was “filled and overflowing with pain, hatred and distress.” Feeling these emotions, he cried for the first time.

When Kaworu mocks Rei’s death, Shinji doesn’t simply react with anger like he normally does. His body completely shuts down, his grief so overpowering that it manifests physically as well as emotionally. Kaworu no longer finds Shinji’s emotions strange or fascinating, a quant little curiosity of the human race. 

When Shinji cries over Rei, Kaworu feels it too.

Gone is the irreverent attitude, gone is the smug smirk. Kaworu is pensive, melancholy. He looks at Shinji as if Shinji’s sadness is his sadness.

I always wondered whether manga!Kaworu really loved Shinji or if he was simply obsessed with the idea of Shinji loving him. But after reading this again, I think that he probably did, in his own, strange way, even if he didn’t quite realise it himself. Kaworu quite literally did not care about anyone else - the only person who could affect him in any way was Shinji. No one else could illicit such an emotional response from him. He had literally been inside Rei’s mind and experienced her thoughts but when she died he felt absolutely nothing. The only thing that made him upset was the sight of Shinji crying.  

Unfortunately, due to Kaworu’s lack of understanding of human emotions, this “love” ends up being selfish and destructive. Just as Rei’s love had made her jealous of Asuka, Kaworu’s made him jealous of Rei. Shinji cried over Rei, Shinji only thought of Rei, Shinji loved Rei. Loved her, and not him. After being rejected, he decides that the only way Shinji will love him is if he suffers forever for his death, just like he did with Rei’s. So he manipulates the boy into killing him and dies happy with the thought that Shinji will never be free of the guilt. While Rei’s love had been pure, gentle, selfless - she died in order to save Shinji, Kaworu’s is cruel - he dies in order to hurt him. It’s almost as if he feels Shinji must be happy with him or not at all. Is this real love? Wanting someone to be in pain, to be unhappy? It’s a truly bitter end to their story.

But the fact remains that Kaworu, who had wondered how humans could care so much about others outside themselves, now genuinely cared about what another person thought of him. 

His love had made him angry, jealous, vindictive, cruel, manipulative, selfish. But it had also made him caring, kind and empathetic. 

In other words, the love he felt for Shinji had made him human.

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