Watched Mary Poppins Tonight And Realized (again) That ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NO ONE Is, Was, Or Maybe Ever

Watched Mary Poppins tonight and realized (again) that ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NO ONE is, was, or maybe ever will be doing physical comedy like Dick Van Dyke. I assume they let him get away with that HEINOUS accent because THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE ON EARTH WHO COULD DANCE LIKE THAT!!! Who else is going to play a 90 year old banker AND a young chimney sweep worthy of the attentions of JULIE ANDREWS??? No one, that’s who.

THE BEAR IS INVERSE TED LASSO

Come here, listen to me.

Ted Lasso is ostensibly the worst soccer coach in the world. He knows fuckall about soccer, about England, about the life he finds himself living. The only thing he's got going for him is the insane belief that he can do this impossible thing. His kindness is what makes him powerful, his ability to connect and build relationships.

Carmen Berzatto is ostensibly the best chef in the world. He knows everything about cooking, about restaurants, about being in the kitchen. But he is explosive and cruel. He doubts himself and the people around him. He knows fuckall about functional human relationships, and that is what bites him every time.

just saw a comment about colin and penelope's first kiss which said the first time that a kiss has awakened the prince instead of sleeping beauty and i'm openly weeping because yes.

started watching resident alien

and can i just say that i am obsessed with the idea that the showrunners thought to themselves... "we need a dude who can make alien expressions with his human face..."

and there was alan tudyk

As someone with a couple of houseplants and a dangerous number of listening minutes on Spotify, let me tell you scientifically: they don't like it enough to grow, but they don't hate it enough to die. So, um. Do with that information what you will.

There’s been studies on how plants react to rock and classical music, right? So I wonder how plants react to episodes of mbmbam.

The Stanley Cup Debacle (2024) is fucking hilarious to me because on the one hand, you would have to literally dismantle this metal cup to expose any amount of lead, which you would then have to knowingly consume to cause any damage. But in the other hand, it’s fucking LEAD in fucking CUPS! The same cups that everyone from the iPad Babies to the Soccer Moms have been obsessed with for two years now! It’s baffling, it’s ironic, it’s horrifying: it’s capitalism, babey!!!