Cityoffandoms-yjn20

cityoffandoms-yjn20

Interviewer note: Before we start off with the interview, you will notice something different in this interview. The last two questions are listed as “reader questions” this is because this lovely writer was recommended to me by someone, so I allowed that reader to ask a couple personalized questions. I will keep this rule for any suggestions I get that lead to an interview! All right, now onto the intervew! Thank you!

--Alyce

Before we get to the formal questions, do you mind introducing yourself (any name you are comfortable using or want to use) and telling us a little about yourself?

Hey guys, I’m Hania. Nia for short. I’m a 23-year-old graduate still trying to find a place in this world. When I’m not busy being an adult or writing, I’m usually traveling, hiking, reading or just lazing around at home watching movies and daydreaming. I have been an ARMY since 2013 but I only started writing for BTS in June ’18. I aspire to work in the neuroscience research laboratory one day and I hope to save up and travel around the world.

Thank you for interviewing me, it’s such an honor and motivator for me.   

Q1: You mainly write for BTS and GOT7. Have you ever written for any fandoms and/or outside of Kpop?

A1: Now that I think about it, no. All of my fanfics are either related or inspired by BTS and GOT7 or Korean dramas. I do have several stories written with original characters and such but I never posted them.

Q2: You also seem to have an abundance of short works like imagines, reactions, etc., but you do have a few fics and longer pieces. Do you prefer writing in shorter forms or do you have a preference?

A2: It really depends on my schedule to be honest. At the moment I love doing reactions and imagines cause of having a packed schedule and also I get to dabble in different topics and such. For fanfics, I get obsessed with a storyline when I start writing it but when I post it, I actually break them into several chapters cause sometimes I might add something that I did not originally think of. I would love to write longer stories but at the moment I definitely prefer to write and post shorter pieces.

Q3: You also make moodboards! Which is something I actually don’t know a ton about. Do you mind walking us through how a moodboard works? How you pick images? Etc.

A3: Oh oh so moodboards are really fun for me to do, I either get an idea from looking at a picture, writing a reaction or just my own imagination. So I kinda have a general theme for a moodboard, like I’m working on a Mafia and Traveling in Paris themed moodboard at the moment. So the mafia theme is due to my fanfic Best Of Me, that’s where I get my idea from. As for the Paris theme, it’s due to the pictures BTS posted recently. So I would try to find at least 2 similar or coordinated selfies/pictures of each member and I would search for places in Paris and cross match the pictures to see if they fit the aesthetic.  

Q4: Do write anything outside of fan fiction?

A4: Not really other than laboratory and scientific research reports, I don’t.

Q5: When you first started writing fan fiction were you scared to post it online?

A5: I was absolutely TERRIFIED. Even back in High School I would write a lot of essays cause I wanted to improve. So, at times the teacher would read it out to the class and it would just make me so embarrassed and afraid cause of the reaction I got from my classmates. Also I kinda stopped writing for 4 years cause of uni and all so when I did get back to writing, to me it felt just rusty, awkward and unreadable.

Q6: Why did you begin writing fan fiction? If it was for a fandom, why did that particular thing make you begin writing? And, for your current fandoms?

A6: It was for Moon Lovers Scarlet Heart: Ryeo actually, a Korean drama. I hated the ending with a burning passion and I’m not even kidding, I literally cried for a week over the drama cause I invested so much time and feelings into it. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night kinda feeling empty and sad, but like one day, out of nowhere, I had a dream of an alternate ending and also a different aspect of the storyline so I wrote it down and came up with a new plot.

As for my current writings, I’ve been an ARMY since 2013 and Ahgase since 2015, I’ve read countless fanfics, reactions, imagines etc. But at times I would have ideas or scenarios of a certain reaction or genre and I would just daydream about it and never write it down. But I was talking about mafias and I just had this idea for BTS and I just had to write it and post it. That’s how this fanfic blog started and I slowly branched out to reactions and such.

Q7: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A7: I would absolutely love to! I want to work in the scientific research field, so I would love for my scientific research, data, and findings to be published. And being a little more ambitious I would love for my writings to be published as well.

Q8: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? The fandom? Etc.

A8: A lot of things actually, I never realized I had such different sides of me. I’m someone who has anxiety and depression so writing helps me cope in so many ways. Whenever I’m worried or angry or happy I write and it kinda eases the pain and lets me shift my focus on writing. I get to pour my feelings and whatever I’m going through, into my writings so that has been of tremendous help. With every piece I write, I’m actually utilizing my own experience and feelings, without realizing I’m showing or opening up a new side of me and it shows in my writing, which surprised me really cause I learn something new about myself.

For the fandom, just the immense love and support you get, I have interacted with countless friendly ARMYs and Ahgases before writing, but to have people reach out to you, take some time and let you know about your content and be so positive, it feels so surreal to me like wow you read my stuff and you like it? Thank you.

As for reading, there is just so much content out there to be read. I used to stick to just specific genres but as I started writing again, I started reading different types of genres and there are just so much great content and stories out there which I never gave a chance to cause I was too focused on a handful of genres. As for writing, I learned that you improve every single day as long as you continue writing, even if you write a sentence every day you are improving.

Q9: Do you notice any stigma surrounding fan fiction or fan fiction writers?

A9: That we are a bunch of obsessive, delusional and pervertic fangirls/boys writing to feed our delusions and obsessions. Also that we are not creative enough to come up with our own characters so we ‘utilize’ real people or existing characters. Or that the imagines/fanfics/reactions are NOT REAL (like yes, that’s why it’s categorized as fanfiction, that’s the very definition of fanfic)  I’ve actually read and heard these kinda comments before.

Q10: If so, how do you feel about this stigma?

A10: I used to be so adamant about proving to people who said these things that we are anything but whatever they say about us but after a while, I realized why should I work so hard to prove them wrong when I can work hard to create better content and to maybe make at least 1 person smile or forget their worries for a few minutes. That change in my mindset was one of the best things cause I opened up myself to trying to create better content with a meaningful purpose and it’s been great. I still do get mean messages but I don’t dwell on the messages I simply delete and move on. As world wide handsome Kim Seok Jin once said, I don’t have think.  

Q11: Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to talk about or be asked that no one has asked you about or given you the opportunity to talk about?

A11: Hmmm well it’s actually such a broad question but I think about my transition from being a teenager to being an adult. I attended university a year earlier so I could not really talk to my friends about what I was going through at times and my classmates were older than me. So I was at this awkward phase, trying to deal with things coming at me all at once. Yeah I have never really talked about it.

Q12: Reader Question: How has K-pop in general affected your life?

A12:  I was introduced to k-pop by my best friend (more like forced) but yeah it has been 8 years and I’m still thankful she introduced me to k-pop. High School was all sorts of messed up so k-pop was like an escape for me. I entered uni the same year BTS debuted so for some reason I felt a special connection with them and I felt like I was growing with them, learning with them. BTS has been my savior, my motivators and my escape. And in general, k-pop has really affected me in a positive way, I depend on k-pop when I’m going through difficult times and I turn to k-pop when I achieve something or when I’m happy too.  

Q13: Reader Question: What memory instantly makes you smile?

A13:   There are A LOT of memories that make me smile instantly but as of recent, karaoke session with my best friend at 4am. We were just all over the place doing weird things and singing our heart out. Just thinking about it makes me smile and roll my eyes wahahaha.

Thank you so much for interviewing me! I had such a great time to ponder over the questions and kinda revisit and talk about why and how I started writing fanfics. And you have been so sweet and kind throughout so thank you Alyce. Also, I really hope my writings are able to make someone out there forget their woes and worries for a minute and smile. Thank you for reading and have a great week!  

Find Hania’s Tumblr page here  and her Masterlist.

glitteringconstellations interview

Before we get started with the interview, do you mind introducing yourself (whatever name you are comfortable with) and telling us a little about yourself?

Hi everyone! I’m glitteringconstellations, Glitter or GC for short. I’ve been writing fanfiction for well over 15 years now, though I only started sharing it around 2005. I minored in Creative Writing in college and I love writing in pretty much any capacity! When I’m not headcanoning one new story or another, though, I’m either adulting (ugh, adulting) or playing video games. These days it’s mostly Skyrim. I’m fluent in Korean and passable in Japanese and Spanish. I drink way too much pop to be healthy and I hate most fruit (though, give me any kind of melon and I’ll be a happy girl). Oh, and I’m a fledgling figure skater! I’m just a hodgepodge of random hobbies haha!

Q1: What kind of fan fiction do you normally write? Have you ever written fan fiction for other fandoms other than your current one?

A1: I tend to gravitate toward angsty fics. It’s long been my outlet of frustration, to put the character I love in harm’s way. The more pain, the better, haha! Though I do love the hurt/comfort aspect of it. Recently (as in, the last year lmao) I’ve been writing for the Voltron fandom almost exclusively (and sometimes YURI!!! On Ice), but before that I was in the k-pop ficdom (Super Junior, for the most part) for a looooong time, nearly 10 years. I won’t be opening that particular can of worms, though--I have Feelings and Opinions lmao. Before that I jumped around from anime to anime.

Q2: I see in addition to fan fiction that you do commissioned fan art! I’m not an artist myself, so I find it really interesting and cool. Do you want to talk a bit about that? And, feel free to plug yourself!

A2: This is actually a common misconception--I can’t draw to save my life!! I took commissions for fan fiction back in late June as a last resort to pay my rent. Typically though I’m horrible on a deadline so I don’t like to do it too often because I feel terrible making my commissioners wait. The art you’re referring to is the comic spread for The Parting Glass, if I’m not mistaken? I actually commissioned another artist by the name of Cota (@ccooooostuff on tumblr, go check her out she’s amazing at what she does and super sweet!) for that comic with the money I got for my birthday this year.

Q3: Do you write anything outside of fan fiction?

A3: I do! I journal a lot, or I try to anyway. This year I’m hoping to tackle an original novel for Nanowrimo, but more than likely, that particular project will start as fanfiction and we’ll see if I turn it into original fiction or not. I spend more time thinking about the things I want to write than… actually… writing them lolsob. My notes will be this gigantic document but when it comes to putting things together in a cohesive manner? Haaaaaa….haha…. The blinking cursor mocks me, I swear.

Q4: I see on your profile that you are 26. I think when most people think of fan fiction writers they think of someone younger, usually a teenager. Do you encounter younger writers a lot? What do you think of this assumption?

A4: I do encounter younger writers a lot! Surprisingly, though, most writers I know are either in their late 20s or late late teens (say, 15~19). Most people tend to think I’m young anyway just because I look a lot younger than 26, but as far as fandom goes, it doesn’t really bother me if people think I’m younger than I am. Usually I’m pretty forward with how old I am on my profile anyway! But yeah, I’ve been around the fanfiction scene a while. The k-pop fandom in particular had a way of reminding me just how long on a pretty frequent basis lol.

Q5: Why did you begin writing fan fiction? If it was for a fandom, why did that particular thing make you begin writing? And, for your current fandoms?

A5: I used to tell myself stories to get to sleep or on long car trips as far back as I can remember, and most of the time they involved characters from my favorite shows of the day. Pokemon and Digimon were two big ones for me before I hit those fun preteen years. As far as what got me started actually putting those stories to paper, it was born of frustration with shows not going the way I wanted them to, so I’d write the ending I wanted to see. For Voltron in particular, it’s just SUCH a fun sandbox to play in, be it by utilizing the incredible world-building or the plethora of interesting characters to play around with. So many possibilities! *3*

Q6: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A6: Yes and no. I flip flop on this ALL the time. I’d LOVE to see my stories on shelves, but I’m actually very insecure and sometimes the thought of people reading my stories makes me want to die of embarrassment and sink to the center of the earth. That said, if I win Nano this year, I may run it by some publishers, even if only to get feedback. (Although if you want to get TECHNICAL I am officially a published journalist; I was an assistant editor for one of The Big 3 kpop news sites for a while. The one that starts with S. Also another can of worms.)

Q7: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? The fandom? Etc.

A7: Oh absolutely. I definitely would not be the writer I am today without fan fiction. I wouldn’t say I’m super skilled, but the critique I’ve received over the years has helped me more than I have words for, honestly. Not even just in the capacity of writing fiction; my academic and professional writing has improved too. Also, just like reading anything in high volume, reading fanfic has helped me learn to read like a writer, how to pick out things that authors do that I admire and try to emulate that, and conversely what doesn’t work for me so I can avoid those things.

As far as fandom goes, fanfiction can be quite polarizing, as I’m sure you’re well aware. Just in my experience by and large it can be kind of toxic, to be quite honest. The particular issue Voltron faces that I experienced to some extent in other fandoms but not quite to this degree, is fandom policing. I find that certain members of the fandom (which, in my experience, tends to actually be mostly among those younger demographics, though not exclusively so) see certain topics as morally wrong and therefore anyone who writes those topics are 1) romanticizing said topic and 2) automatically a disgusting, horrible person and they have no problems telling you about all about it. The number one thing I try to put out there in my interactions is live and let live, ship and let ship. If it makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay! But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong, and it’s definitely not okay to go around purporting hate in the name of “morality.” Sorry, didn’t mean to go off on a tangent there haha...

Q8: What is a piece you’ve written that you’re most proud of?

A8: Just in the Voltron fandom, I’d say the fic I’m most proud of is The Parting Glass, by far. Funny story about that one; I’d never heard the titular song before I came across a cover of it on Facebook one day around St. Patrick’s Day, and let me tell you something. The reaction I had was almost a spiritual experience, it was so visceral. I was in tears when I heard it, and the story came so hard and so fast that I wrote it in 2 days. It stayed with me until I got it down in writing. It was an interesting challenge for me, exploring the grief part of a character death fic while almost entirely omitting the actual dying part. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had such a vivid vision of exactly how a fic is going to go from start to finish and I’m quite happy with the way it turned out. Which is why, when I had the money to do so, I commissioned Cota to illustrate what had to be the hardest and yet my favorite part to write. She brought the scene to life so beautifully too, I’m really happy with how it turned out. Months later I still go back and stare at it!

Q9: Do you notice any stigma surrounding fan fiction or fan fiction writers?

A9: Without a doubt. People hear “fanfiction” and they think one of two things: the pudgy neckbeard who lives in his parents’ basement, or the rabid tween/teenage fangirl. It’s a rather unfortunate stereotype, because some works of fanfiction are truly works of art, more masterfully crafted than some novels I’ve seen published. Yet they get dismissed simply on the basis of being fanworks and not “original” (which, let’s be real, nothing is truly original anymore). One such example that comes to mind of a beautiful fic is those glittering instruments in the EXO fandom, which was based on the real-life destruction of the Library of Alexandria. If you can find a copy of it floating around the interwebs I HIGHLY recommend giving it a chance no matter what fandom you’re in!

Q10: If so, how do you feel about this stigma?

A10: Like I said, it’s really a shame. The thing, too, is that as young girls we’re often shamed for the things we’re passionate about, like boy bands and, well, fan fiction, while boys don’t get that kind of shame to such an intense degree (at least, not about the usual suspects, like sports and girls and such). Not to say that it doesn’t happen, but there’s something terribly sad about seeing more young people afraid to talk about a hobby that makes them happy because they’re afraid of being perceived as weird or gross or something like that. Hell, even to this day I have very few friends from outside the fandom sphere that know I write fanfiction, because they still talk bad and make mean jokes about fic writers. It’s such a silly thing, because a lot of famous works are derivative fiction and people don’t even realize it! So I hope the day comes soon that we can get over this silly stigma and just enjoy what people share (for free!! Seriously!! FULL NOVEL LENGTH WORKS. For FREE.)

Q11: Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to talk about or be asked that no one has asked you about or given you the opportunity to talk about? (And if so, feel free to answer/talk about it).

A11: I really had to think about this one! I couldn’t really pick one topic that I’ve really wanted to talk about that I haven’t already discussed, but no one has ever asked me if I was okay with having fanart of my work. Which I would answer with a resounding YES. I am more than okay with it QuQ

Oh, I guess I do have something!! It’s unrelated to writing (well, I guess it could be related, depending on how you look at it) but since I have your attention, if you’re an American citizen GO OUT AND VOTE. The midterm elections are one week from today in the USA and it’s important you go vote!! I won’t tell you who to vote for (a third can of worms I’m not opening up. WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY WORMS) but I assure you, your vote matters, now more than ever. I believe in you!! Go vote!!!

Q12: What is your prefered site for writing/posting fan fiction?

A12: These days I prefer to use AO3. It’s a work in progress, but it’s far and away the superior fic platform of the time. Back in ye olden days (circa 2010~2012) Livejournal was my platform of choice, and FF.net before that. A surprising number of people prefer to post their fic on tumblr, to which I say, are you out of your flipping MIND?!?! Tumblr is soooo temperamental, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to restart a post or go into the HTML editor because the rich text editor decided to be stupid. Noooooo thank you. I’ll stick to AO3 thanks ahaha!

Check out Glitter’s Tumblr and AO3.

Interviewer Note: Glitter used her free question to encourage everyone to vote and I would just like to stress the importance of this, especially if live in the US. Young people are the demographic that votes the least, despite being the demographic that will have to live the longest with the outcome of the vote. If you are currently not registered, please register as it is important for all of our futures. And, remember the deadline for the upcoming US election is Nov. 6th, so make sure to get to those polls and/or turn/send in your ballot. If you need information on how to do any of these things, do not hesitate to reach out to my page and I will point you to trustworthy resources. 

Lock & Key

Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader

Warnings: cursing, dirty jokes

Synopsis: When Jungkook ditches you on your birthday, your friendship looks like it’s about to crumble. Your friend group becomes tired of your bickering and decides to take the matter into their own hands. Somehow, you and Jungkook find yourselves handcuffed together.

"Have you guys found a present for Y/N yet?" Jin asked, picking up his third pizza slice and taking a large bite, the cheese stretching as he pulled it away from his lips.

"You haven't gotten it yet? Her birthday dinner is tomorrow," Taehyung said. His eyes were tired, but he'd still insisted on joining the party despite having just gotten off a long train ride, as he hadn't seen his friends from high school for months. "I got her the first two manga in that series she's been wanting to read."

"Mmm," Jin said, seeming to consider Taehyung's choice of gift. "I need mine to be really special. He finished his pizza to the crust and turned it 180 degrees and bit into the end. "Jungkook, you're closest to Y/N. What are you getting her?"

Jungkook turned, wide-eyed towards Jin. The younger's face was already a bit flushed from the beers and from the mention of your name. "I'm paying for her part of the meal tomorrow and I got her tickets to that musical that's only in town for one night."

"Woah, that's gonna be hard to beat," Jimin said, "Y/N hasn't stopped talking about that musical since they announced it. Remember how she went crazy over it in the group chat?"

"I'm sure Y/N will like whatever you get her," Jungkook said. "She isn't very picky and she'll appreciate it because it came from you."

"I know. I just have something special planned and I want it to be perfect." The six other guys looked to the eldest expectantly. Jin sighed. "Gosh, fine, I'll tell you. I plan on confessing to her tomorrow."

"What? You like Y/N?! Since when?"

"Woah, congrats man!"

"You'll make such a cute couple."

The group fell to chaos, but Jungkook was notably the least excited. At the mention of Jin's plans, he sunk back against the wall and took a large bite of his pizza, followed by a gulp of beer.

"I'm not sure when I started liking her," Jin said. "I just kind of realized that I do. I figured we are friends and I'll regret it if I don't give it a shot."

"Are you sure her birthday is the best time to confess?" Jungkook asked, finally piping up. "What if things don't go well and you ruin it? Are you going to do it in front of everyone?"

"I thought about it and I'm going to wait until after the meal. Maybe I'll be able to steal her away for a few moments after she opens our gifts."

Jungkook's nose wrinkled and he was obviously unsatisfied with the answer. Yet, he dropped it and reached for another slice of pizza. "Why does it matter to you Jungkook? It's not like we all still won't hang out or that you'll never see her."

"Y/N's been hurt before. I'm sure you remember how upset she was after Minsung. I had to sleep in her bed for two weeks because she'd wake up crying. I never want her to feel that hurt again."

"Jungkook, I won't hurt her. She's more likely to hurt me. Why do you care so much about her heart being broken anyway? You're not the one who broke it and you aren't responsible for fixing it. Y/N's a big girl, she can handle herself."

Jungkook pouted. "I have to pee," he said, standing up and leaving the room, carrying his pizza slice with him.

vVv

An array of appetizers were spread across the table, a few bites taken from each. You were just waiting on the last three to show up: Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. You expected them to come together as they had been nearly inseparable in high school. As Jin finished off one of the appetizers, you spotted Jimin and Taehyung walking in. You got up and rushed towards them.

"Happy birthday!" Jimin and Taehyung said, nearly tripping each other as they ran to hug you. "It's been too long, Y/N!" The two boys had moved out of the city for college and you rarely got to see them. You didn't know what you do if Jungkook--your best friend--had gone with them.

"I'm so glad you guys could make it! Come on and sit down, we're just waiting on Jungkook."

The appetizers were gone and the missing chair at the table remained. Worry grew in your throat and you glanced down at your phone for the umpteenth time to see if he had texted you. Even, just a simple "Running late!" or "Stuck in traffic!" would calm your nerves.

"Have you guys heard from Jungkook at all?"

The other guys all shook their heads and gave you sympathetic looks. You'd put off ordering, but it'd been nearly an hour since most of you arrived and you didn't want to keep the staff waiting any longer. "All right, let's order."

"I'm sure he just got stuck in traffic or something, Y/n," Jin said, reaching out and tapping your hand.

Your heart dropped as you read his last reply. You felt tears stinging your eyes, but you pushed them back before the other guys could notice.

"He's not coming," you said.

"What?" you heard someone ask, but you were too focused on not allowing your spiraling thoughts ruin your birthday and holding back tears to register who it was.

"He said he got a date or something. I don't know, but come on, we can enjoy this without him."

Due to the solemn looks on their faces, you knew they saw right through your facade. You and Jungkook had been best friends since elementary school where he accidentally trampled you when he was racing his friends. Despite ending up with a badly skinned knee and a couple of bruises, you were fine, but Jungkook had insisted on taking you to the nurse's office anyway. He pretended to sprain his ankle just so he could sit and keep you company.

What had happened since then? You'd never felt like your friendship was dwindling when it came to Jungkook. Whenever either of you dated, it didn't make a difference. High school graduation didn't separate you. Not even when Jungkook forced you to a haunted house in high school and laughed when he saw the stain on your jeans and realized you'd peed your pants in fright.

Despite ignoring for Overwatch or coming to your apartment just for the free food, he always ended up doing small things to make up for it. You often found chocolate bars stashed in the odd drawer or cupboard to make up for all the food he steals. After he finished laughing, Jungkook allowed you to wear his sweatshirt to cover it and bought you new jeans. You still had that sweatshirt stashed in your closet somewhere.

vVv

The tears stopped by the end of dinner, but now anger ran down your spine. How dare he skip your birthday for someone he just met? He'd never done anything like this before, he was the one person in this world that you could depend on, and now he's not. You feel a pang of sadness in your stomach and reach out for your portion of the bill, which Jungkook had promised to pay for.

"Stop," Jin said, reaching for the bill you'd just barely wrapped your fingertips around. "You're not paying. We'll split yours." You nodded, powerless to the eldest's tone.

After the bill was paid, everyone got up and starting readying to leave. You had taken a taxi, expecting Jungkook to take you home afterward. Jin seemed to notice, his brown eyes melting when they met yours.

"Hey, come on, I'll walk you home."

You nodded and waved goodbye to the other guys as you all walked in opposite directions or climbed into taxis. You didn't catch the other guys thumbs upping Jin and giving him reassuring smiles.

"Thanks for coming," you said. "Even though it kinda got ruined."

"I'll always come, Y/N."

"Oh, when I get a hold of his bunny ass--"

"Go easy on him, Y/N. I'm sure he has a better reason than he told you."

"He better be on his death bed then."

Jin let out a snort, which caused you to smile, but the smile soon faded and so did the fake happiness the anger made you feel. Now you just felt hopeless and felt the tears stinging in your sinuses again.

"Do," you said, already your voice faltering. "you think I'm still enough?"

Jin stopped. "What do you mean?"

"Am I still enough for him? Maybe he found a better friend," you said, your gaze painting the sidewalk. "I mean, I always rely on him. He's always my shoulder to cry on. Maybe he finally got tired of it. Got tired of me."

Jin placed a hand on your shoulder. It felt odd, as Jin wasn't one for skinship, but his touch was comforting, even if you were imagining it was Jungkook's. Except you couldn't, Jungkook's touch was old, familiar, warm. Like the fireplace at your grandparent's house or when your car is completely heated on a snowy day. Jin's--sure, it was warm--but it wasn't Jungkook.

"No, no, of course not," Jin said, moving to hug you, your cheek hitting his chest. "That could never happen. You and Jungkook have been friends for years. If he was gonna get tired of you, he would've already."

You scoffed, half in laughter and half in fear. "Thanks."

"Okay, but seriously, Jungkook cares about you. A lot." Jin paused and sighed. You looked up, noticing his eyes weren't on you, but rather he was looking up. His eyes looked glazed, but you didn't remember him having any drinks. "He wouldn't allow himself to lose you, Y/N. Trust me."

The rest of the walk was filled with a comfortable silence. It was only a few more blocks from where you'd stopped, so you reached your apartment in just a few minutes.

"Thanks for walking with me," you said. "Sorry, I got kinda sad halfway through."

Jin shook his head and reached to move a piece of your ponytail that had escaped from the hairband and fallen roguishly over your head.

"You don't need to apologize for your feelings, Y/N. Just promise me you won't kill the kid. I'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding."

You nodded, although you weren't convinced that Jungkook didn't now hate you for reasons you didn't know.

"Thanks," you said. "For everything."

Jin nodded. "You're welcome." He turned and walked into the night and you turned your back before he disappeared.

vVv

"How did the confession go?" Jimin asked, as soon as Jin walked into the small apartment he shared with Yoongi, which was now cramped with six bodies.

"It didn't."

Jimin and the other faces in the room all contorted in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I didn't confess."

"But, why? Wasn't that your plan? Don't you like her?"

"She loves someone else," Jin said, his voice deeper than usual, his heartbreak captured in the back of his throat. "And, someone else loves her."

vVv

Two Days Later

You hadn't heard anything from Jungkook since the night of your birthday and you weren't sure what hurt more--the fact that he didn't care enough to explain himself or that he had seemingly replaced you. His Instagram was full of stories and posts of him with the girl you assumed was the one he skipped your birthday for. She was beautiful with large dark eyes and curly hair. His arm was around her shoulders and then eventually her waist. He must really like her because you remember how it took Jungkook nearly two years just to feel comfortable placing an arm around you.

You huffed and threw your phone onto your bed as you ran your hands through your hair. You were still mad, but you didn't want to lose your best friend. You remembered Taehyung mentioning how all the guys were getting together for Overwatch.

You hardly thought as you headed towards Jin's and Yoongi's apartment--the largest of the apartments belonging to those in your friend group.

You didn't bother knocking as you entered the apartment. You found the seven guys all crowded onto two couches and watching Taehyung and Jungkook. They didn't notice you until you slipped in and placed your hand  on Jimin's shoulder—who jumped at your touch.

"Y/N!"

All seven heads turned to look at you. Most breaking into smiles and friendly greetings and offering you snacks.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook asked, his voice breaking through the revelry. He was normally so soft-spoken, but at this moment, his voice grated through the air.

"I was hoping we could talk."

"You weren't invited here."

Your stomach turned. He'd never spoken to you like this, ever. Jungkook was normally the happiest when you showed up unannounced.

"Since when do I need an invitation, Jungkook? This is Jin and Yoongi's place, not yours."

Jungkook didn't respond but instead unpaused the game. Taehyung barely had time to close his mouth from watching the two of you that he fumbled with the controller as he realized Jungkook had restarted the game.

"Oh, so you're just gonna ignore me then?"

You rolled your eyes at how typical this was of all your ex-boyfriends. Towards the end of the relationship, they always ignored you for something else. Sometimes it was someone else, others it was their job. And yet, others, it was video games.

Jungkook had been there with you for all of these failed relationships. He said you deserved someone better, someone, who would never leave you or ignore you. You thought he was the only constant in your life, the one person who would never leave you, but now, he was just like all the rest.

Tears stung your sinuses. You dug your feet into the carpet and grabbed onto the back of the couch, trying to focus on the game. The guys had gone back to talking amongst themselves, eating, and watching the game. Yet, the air felt different, you caught concerned glances flicking your way and Jin silently offered you a slice of pizza which you declined, only eliciting another puppy-eyed look from the eldest of the group.

Jungkook was close to winning and the tears were soon beginning to simmer and your hands balled into fists. Before you could think or stop yourself, you marched around the couch and reached for the cord that was connected to the Xbox. The screen went black and all the eyes in the room shifted to you.

"Y/N?! What the fuck?!" Jungkook said, his voice rising. "I was about to win!"

"Jungkook, we need to talk and you're being an asshole."

Jungkook's ears were red and his eyes hard as steel. "This is ridiculous, Y/N. You came here uninvited to talk to me and when I go back to playing games because that's what I'm here for, you unplugged the system and demand I talk to you. And, I'm the asshole?"

You wanted to scream and pull your hair out. Yet, the thing you wanted most was to cry into Jungkook's oversized, black T-shirt because you knew it smelled of his cologne.

"Jungkook, you skipped my birthday party and you said we could talk about it, but it's been two days and I just want my best friend back."

"Y/N, why can't you just take the hint you're not wanted? This was supposed to be a guy's night and now you've had to come in here and ruin everything. You're way too clingy, like, this is why they always leave you."

"Jungkook!" Jin said.

You barely registered as the other boys chastised Jungkook as your vision blurred from the tears. You swore you saw his face soften before your eyes were totally filled with tears, but you couldn't be sure.

"Y/N," Jin said. You felt his hand come to rest gently on your shoulder. "Come on, I'll take you home."

vVv

A few days later you found yourself standing outside of Jungkook's apartment. You knew Taehyung and Jimin were staying with him, so you secretly hoped one of them would open the door.

The hallway was silent and dimly lit. It felt like midnight despite being noon. You softly knocked on the door, the sound--while quiet--seemed to echo down the hallway. You weren't sure what you were going to do or say when he opened the door. You were only sure that you missed the way he used to show up at your place at midnight with ice cream sandwiches or the way he let you borrow his sweatshirts when you were cold or couldn't sleep.

Thirty seconds passed and you knocked again. Firmer this time, each knock ringing out in the empty hallway.

"Jungkookie," you said softly.

You heard footsteps on the other side of the door. They were faint, but you recognized them from when he slept over at your apartment when you were sick or going through a rough time.

You listened as the door unlocked and slowly opened. He only opened the door a crack, just enough to peak out, as if you were an unknown person knocking on his door. As if you didn't know the layout of his apartment or that he kept all his mess concentrated to the common areas and his bedroom immaculate.

"Y/N...what are you doing here?"

His voice was softer than the last time you spoke. You knew Jin had told Jungkook how much you cried as he took you home and how you didn't answer his texts all night.

"I just wanted to see you," you said. "We don't have to talk or anything. I just miss you."

Jungkook didn't say anything. His eyes scanning over you. Your hair was unwashed and pulled into a bun and you wore sweatpants and a T-shirt. Dark circles outlined your eyes and even though it had only been a few days, your face looked thinner and your skin languid.

Another set of footsteps approached and the door swung open wider. Taehyung stood there in just his boxers and munching on a piece of toast. His eyes widened when he saw you and he glanced over at Jungkook, who's eyes were looking down at your feet.

"Hey, stop being a dick and let her in."

"Put on some clothes then," Jungkook said, his voice quiet and low, almost a growl. He swung the door all the way open and disappeared into his apartment.

Taehyung met your eyes and shrugged. He offered a small smile as you walked into the apartment. You hadn't brought anything with you, not sure exactly what would happen.

"I won't stay long," you said. "I just wanted to see him."

"At least have breakfast with me," he said, dropping two pieces of bread into the toaster.

You nodded and fell onto the couch. You'd done this countless times. At 4 in the morning after a night out, you'd collapse on Jungkook's couch still in your heels and your makeup slowly wearing off. You usually woke up the next morning in Jungkook's bed, your heels set by the door and your makeup at least mostly wiped off. At 6 pm as you leaned against Jungkook's shoulder as the movie started, your hand diving into the popcorn bowl in his lap. Most of your favorite memories happened on his couch.

"I hope you like Nutella," Tae said, handing you a piece of toast.

You laughed. "I love it," you said. "How do you stay so fit eating like this?"

Taehyung was still in his boxers. While he didn't have a six pack, he certainly wasn't hard to look at and the slight toning of his stomach showed he was putting in some effort.

"I'll gain five pounds just from eating this," you said, and despite your words, you took a large bite.

"Then you should have another," Jungkook said from the other side of the room. You hadn't noticed him there, he must've slipped in when Taehyung distracted you with the toast. "You're getting too skinny."

"I didn't ask you, Jungkook," you said. You crossed your arms over your chest and sat back, your toast abandoned on the arm of the couch.

"I'm just worried about you."

"Since when? When you stopped texting me? Or, when you ditched my birthday party for someone you just met?"

Jungkook's eyes turned soft in the way that would usually make you melt. But, you kept your eyes off of his and your spine straight.

"Y/N..."

"Listen, Jungkook, I might've come here cause I missed you, but that doesn't mean I've forgiven you."

Jungkook didn't say anything. Silence filled the apartment and after what felt like an eternity, he left to his bedroom.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung asked.

You nodded. "I think I just need a nap or something. I'm getting a headache." You looked around the apartment. There was only one bedroom and both Taehyung and Jimin were staying with Jungkook during their visit. "Where are you sleeping?"

Taehyung nodded and gestured toward the couch. "There," he said.

"Oh," you said. "Can I borrow it for an hour or so?"

"Be my guest. But, you know, even though you two are fighting and all, I bet Jungkook would let you have the bed."

You shook your head. "No," you said. "I'm not asking him for any favors and the couch looks more comfortable anyway."

Taehyung shrugged. You laid down and turned your back to him, missing the knowing smile as he cleaned up. You listened as he cleaned up and got dressed before leaving the apartment. It wasn't long before the tears came and you sobbed into the couch cushion as quietly as you could. The last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to emerge from his bedroom and find you like this.

He'd seen you cry dozens of times and you'd even held him as he sobbed into you. You didn't mind crying in front of him, but you knew it would destroy him to see you like this and to know he was the cause. Even if you mad at him, even if you were losing him, you didn't want to crush him.

You didn't remember falling asleep, but when you awoke, his scent was everywhere. You pressed your face into the pillow and stretched out your legs comfortably. You sighed until a thought crossed your mind. Pillow?

You opened your eyes and found yourself in Jungkook's bedroom. It was dark and the covers were pulled up to your chin. Jungkook wasn't in the room and from the empty feeling in the air, he wasn't in the apartment either. Your phone was next to you on the nightstand and plugged into Jungkook's charger.

You glanced at the time and realized your nap had lasted three times longer than you anticipated and you sat in bed as you realized that you probably needed to go home. However, before you could pull your eyes away from your lock screen, a text notification from a couple of hours ago caught your attention.

vVv

"Hey, sorry, I'm late," Taehyung said, walking into Jin and Yoongi's apartment where the other five boys were already crowded on the twin couches. "Y/N showed up at Jungkook's and I needed to see what happened."

The others all looked at Taehyung expectantly. "Jungkook doesn't know about this, right?"

"We didn't tell him."

Taehyung nodded. "Well, they're definitely in love with each other. Jungkook was jealous as hell and Y/N's heartbroken. I could practically see Jungkook splitting in half when he realized how upset she was."

"Well, didn't you all notice how when she started crying after he got mad at her for unplugging the Xbox, how he just broke? I don't think he cared about the game anymore, but then Jin swooped in and stopped it before he could apologize."

All eyes swiped towards Jin and he shrugged. "What? She was to the point of crying. I didn't know what he was going to do and I didn't want to upset either of them more."

"Does he know that you never confessed?"

Jin shook his head. "He never asked."

"Jin!" all the guys said at one.

"That would change everything! He probably thinks you and Y/N are together."

"It's pretty obvious we're not."

"I don't know the way you intervened during the fight and walked her home. It could be seen as you protecting her."

"Well, whatever, what's the plan? We have to get them to make up somehow. And confess, cause they're gonna drive us crazy pining after each other." Jin looked around at the other faces and all of them were, in turn, watching him.

"Well, we need to force them to be alone somehow," Namjoon said. "We could try locking them somewhere, but that's gonna be difficult cause the party is here and none of the doors lock." Eyes wandered as they tried to find a solution and eventually, Jin's eyes fell on the TV where a cartoon cop was catching a criminal, the handcuffs snapping down on the culprit's wrists.

"I think I might have an idea."

vVv

Taehyung and Jimin were taking the train back to their college town in the morning, so that meant you'd all spend the night before getting drunk and gorging yourselves on all the pizza you could.

Jin and Yoongi offered to host the party and a few of their neighbors offered up their apartments so everyone could spread out. You all invited your extended friends and neighbors if everyone came, you didn't doubt the party would probably get out of hand, but that was half the fun.

As you brushed on your blush and primped your hair for the final time, you felt butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook was going to be there. There was no way he would miss out on a good party and the opportunity for free food and drinks.

You wore a short white dress that was admittedly a little shorter than you would normally wear. But, with Jungkook ignoring you, you wanted attention and you didn't really care who it was from. Plus, you liked the way it hugged your curves and how when paired with the perfect heels, made your legs look longer.

You arrived a few minutes early to the party with the expectation of helping set up, but the party was already in full swing. When the elevator opened, people crowded the hall with cups in hand and music blasting from Jin and Yoongi's apartment. At this rate, the cops would be called in a couple hours, unless Jin and Yoongi had talked to all their neighbors beforehand, but you highly doubted it.

You waded through the bodies and found your friends all invested in a game of beer pong. The younger three on one end and the older four on the other. The older ones were currently winning and you smirked as you remembered just how good Yoongi was at the game.

"Need help?" you asked, placing your arm around Taehyung's shoulders, the heels allowing you to do so easier, although it still looked slightly awkward.

"Ah, finally! Someone who can rival Yoongi!"

You laughed, trying not to allow your eyes to wander over to Jungkook who was standing closer to you than he had for weeks. "Who's turn is it?"

"Yours if you want."

You nodded and walked up to the table. You angled your arm and aimed for one of the back cups, even if you missed, it may still land in one of the front cups that remained. You tossed the ping pong ball and it sailed perfectly into the cup.

"Yes! Drink up, Min Yoongi!"

Yoongi smirked and took the cup and downed it. You two had played this game countless time, both won and lost countless times, to the point that it was no longer about winning, but rather, who could get the other drunk quicker.

Yoongi aimed his shot and tossed it flawlessly into the cup right in front of you. You took out the ball and downed the cup. The beer was pretty much tasteless which meant it went down easily but left a bad taste in the back of your throat.

After a few shots back and forth, you had drunk twice more and Yoongi once. You were aiming up another shot, intending to tie it up when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked behind you and caught Jungkook's eyes.

"Are you gonna let us play?"

"Do you want to win or not?" you said, turning back and aiming up your shot. You were already a little tipsy and your head ached as you concentrated.

"Y/N, it'll be no fun to get drunk so early," he said. "Come on." His voice was soft and familiar. He'd done this dozens of times. Prevented you from getting too drunk or going home with the wrong guy. He brought you back when the alcohol began to take over. This time--however--you turned away and aimed the ball. Missing.

Yoongi tosses the ball in what appears to be a haphazard fashion, but it sinks straight into a cup. You pick it up and bring it to your lips, but before you can drink, the cup is being knocked from your hands and the beer spills almost entirely onto your dress.

You see Jungkook staring at you wide-eyed--the obvious culprit--his hand still gripping the cup.

"Jungkook!" you yelled, people turned in your direction, but your yell was soon forgotten as the music continued. All but your small group turned back to their own conversations. "Would you stop trying to be my friend? You made it quite obvious you no longer wanted our friendship and you just keep screwing everything up!"

"Y/N, I..."

Tears were beginning to fill your eyes and the only thing you wanted to do was get drunk and forget this night happened. You stepped forward to push through the crowd when someone grabbed your wrist. You knew from the touch that it wasn't Jungkook and when you glanced back, Jin's lips were upturned in a small smile.

"Wait, Y/N," he said. "I'm really sorry about this."

You cocked your head in confusion, but before your lips could form words to ask Jin what he was apologizing for you felt something click onto your wrist and found a handcuff locked around your wrist and you noticed the other was locked to another wrist. You followed the chain and met Jungkook's dark, confused eyes.

"Have fun, kids. We aren't unlocking you until you talk everything out."

vVv

Ten minutes later you stood in the kitchen as Jungkook tried to work a kitchen knife into the lock. The beer was slowly making your dress more and more see-through and you glanced around the room.

"Jungkook, can we try this somewhere else?"

He looked up at you with his brows furrowed in confusion. You hadn't managed to say anything before his eyes widened and he quickly shrugged off his flannel. It caught on his cuff and he struggled to get the sleeve over the handcuff and chain.

"Fuck it," he said, taking the knife and cutting into the seam where the sleeve met the shoulder.

"Jungkook isn't this a bit drastic? We can just go into the bathroom or something."

"No, it's okay. I can just cut off the other one later."

He brought around the uncut sleeve and brought over your shoulder and brought the cut sleeve over the chain and up your arm. The way the flannel hit it ended up covering your entire dress and draping across your bare thighs.

As soon as you were covered and comfortable again, he once again tried to unlock the handcuffs and your hand was at his mercy as he moved the knife point back and forth in the lock.

"Jungkook, this isn't going to work. You're just gonna end up hurting one of us."

Jungkook sat the knife back on the counter looked down dejectedly at your cuffed wrists. You couldn't help the pang of hurt in your stomach. Jin had handcuffed the two of you so you would talk and all Jungkook could focus was on how to get the handcuffs off without talking.

"Maybe we can break the chain," he said. "If we both pull, our combined strength might be enough."

Your wrist was already starting to become red and raw because Jin had accidentally snapped the cuff on a little tight, but before you could protest, Jungkook began pulling on the chain.

You immediately yelped in pain and your wrist attempted to escape the pain, causing your body to fold in on itself. You found yourself crouched and leaning against the counter, your arm almost straight above your head to remain close enough to Jungkook's so that it didn't dislocate the joint.

"Y/N?" Your name was barely audible over the music and the people around you many of which shot odd glances or coy smiles your way.

"It's tight, Jungkook. Jin accidentally locked it too tight. Can--can we just go talk and get these things off?"

Jungkook nodded, seeing your teary eyes from the pain and helping you to your feet. His free palm came to rest on your shoulder and his handcuffed hand grasped your wrist and he slipped two of his fingers between your skin and the cuff. It was the first time he'd touched you since before your birthday and you felt your knees go weak and something shifted in you with his touch. The plate tectonics of your heart shifting suddenly and with no warning.

"Let's go to the bathroom, first."

You were confused as he pulled you into the bathroom and situated you against the counter. He reached into the cupboard behind you and pulled out some lotion and squirted it onto his handcuffed hand. He rubbed it softly onto your wrist where the handcuff had rubbed the skin red and raw.

"Better?"

You nodded and looked up at his face which hovered not far above yours but was focused down on your wrist. His jaw was clenched and his features were stiff. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the sleeve he'd cut from his flannel.

"I think if we roll this down we can put it between the cuff and your wrist. It might make it feel tight, but it won't hurt you so much."

He rolled the sleeve down under it was a single cuff which he carefully slipped over your hand and under the cuff. It did work, your skin feeling relieved from the lotion and the cloth, although it did still feel slightly too tight.

"Thanks," you said. "But, maybe we should get out of here. I don't want your girlfriend to get the wrong idea."

Jungkook met your eyes. "What? Girlfriend?"

"The girl you went on the date with?"

"Oh, it uh, didn't work out."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

There was a long pause as Jungkook continued to adjust the cuff to ensure it stayed. His eyes were focused on your wrist.

"I'm sorry," he said. "For saying you were clingy and bringing your exes into this. I'm sorry for everything."

You looked down at him, your free hand coming to play with the hairs that grew around his ears. His hair was longer than you'd ever seen it and you smiled as he seemed to lean into your hand.

Jungkook finished adjusting the cuff and looked up at you. "I think Yoongi's room is empty. He didn't want people in there, but I bet he won't mind if it's us."

You nodded and followed closely behind Jungkook as you walked through the crowd to Yoongi's bedroom. It--like Jungkook had said--was empty. The two of you flopped down on the bed and despite laying a foot apart your fingers continued to brush against each other as you adjusted your wrists in the cuffs.

"I can't figure out why Jin handcuffed us," Jungkook said. The music was just a series of thumps now and even though it was still loud, you could no longer make out the lyrics and could hear Jungkook's voice without him having to raise it. "I thought he wouldn't want us to hang out anymore."

"What?" you asked. "Why would Jin care if we hang out?"

Jungkook turned and looked at you. His hair was wet from sweat and his hair curled in thick tendrils over his forehead. "Aren't you and Jin dating?"

"What? No! Jin and I are just friends. What makes you think that?"

"Jin told me he was gonna confess to you at your party."

Jungkook pulled his gaze from you and focused up at the ceiling. You thought back on that night. Jin had been acting more generous and gentlemanly that night, but you just chalked it up to it being your birthday.

"I didn't even know he liked me. Is that why you've been avoiding me? You thought I was with Jin and you didn't want to interfere?"

"That's part of it."

"What's the other part of it?"

His eyes came back to yours and you felt his fingers brushing against yours. But, it wasn't just the millisecond brushes as he adjusted. No, his fingers were practically intertwined with yours.

"Y/N, we've been friends so long...I don't want to ruin it..."

"Jungkook, it's already ruined."

There was a long tense silence between the of you. His fingers fully intertwined with yours. It was far from the first time you'd held his hand, but it felt different. It was softer, yet more intense at the same time. As if your hand were porcelain that could break at even the slightest touch.

Jungkook moved so quickly that you have no idea how he came to hover above you. His free arm resting above his head and the one handcuffed to you still intertwined with yours to the side. "What would've happened if Jin had confessed to you?"

"Kookie?"

"What would've happened?"

"I-I would've turned him down."

"Why?"

"Cause I'm in love with someone else."

His lips were on your before you even finished the sentence. He was gentle but urgent as if he'd been waiting two thousand years to kiss you.

"I'm still mad at you for skipping my birthday party," you said when he pulled away. "I don't care if you're in love with me, your cute ass still has a lot of making up to do."

Jungkook smiled as he leaned down placed a small kiss on your neck. "Well, I never got to give you my gift."

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out two tickets. You grabbed them from his hands and you smiled as you realized it was for the musical you'd been dying to see.

"It's tomorrow," he said. "Pretty good first date, yeah?"

"Hey, don't get cocky yet!" It was hard for you to hide your smile and you didn't want to give him the satisfaction, so, you just leaned up and kissed him.

vVv

You woke up the next morning enveloped in Jungkook's arms and his one-armed flannel. You looked up to see him scrolled through his phone, but when you squirmed, he looked down at you.

"Good morning, baby," he said.

"That sounds so weird."

"What, baby?" He smirked and giggled as you reached up and playfully hit his shoulder.

"Wait," you said, looking at your unbound wrist. You looked down and found the handcuffs on the bed. "They must've uncuffed us last night."

"I hadn't even realized," he said. A blush appeared on his face. "I didn't want to let go of your hand."

"Aww," you said, reaching up and ruffling his hair. "You're such a softie."

Jungkook smirked and grabbed your wrists. "Hey, I'm not completely a softie."

He held your wrists and glanced down at the handcuffs. "Maybe, we should keep these."

namjoon, i would LIVE for you

Selenophilia || myg

Excerpt: ‘You only ever saw him in the moonlight, soft white rays illuminating his features as he’d gaze into your eyes; searching them for an answer you never seemed to provide.’

Genre: fluff, angst if you squint, moon man!yoongi

Length: 1.3k

Moodboard: @petrimyg - this aCTUAL angel gave me three of the most amazing moodboards and although i chose this she managed to hit the motifs perfectly as alWAYS,,,

A/N: so i tried out a new style to usual,, please tell me what you think !! posting weekly is killing me so any comments and asks are very very very appreciated.

“Can’t you stay?” you whispered into his chest, weaving your hands through hair the colour of starlight, tugging the strands gently as you tried to extract a confirmation from Yoongi, that this once he wouldn’t leave you.

His arms found their way to your waist, ice cold fingers tracing constellations onto your soft skin, squeezing tightly before placing a soft kiss to the tip of your nose and smiling so wide you wondered if you need sunglasses. “Did I summon the sun instead of the man in the moon?”

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“when you want to die, you need to strive to live as much as you want to die”

—kim namjoon, moonchild