Pingo1387 Interview

pingo1387 Interview

ABefore we get started with the questions, would you mind introducing yourself and telling us just a little about yourself?

Sure! I write under pingo1387 online on FanFiction.net, Archive of Our Own, and Tumblr. Fanfiction was the first kind of writing I posted in a public internet space, and I’ve been posting it since for about six or seven years fairly regularly.

Q1: What kind of fan fiction do you write/ have you written?

A1: All sorts of genres. I’ve written long high school AUs, tragic romances, fairy tale-based stories, and plenty of adventure. Right now I’m in the middle of writing mostly romances with a few friendship-themed adventures and an AU set in 20th-century America.

Q2: What made you start writing fan fiction?

A2: I started writing in 9th grade, and the main reason I wrote was because I had an idea for a crossover fanfic that I wanted to make a comic out of, but I couldn’t draw to save my life (I still can’t). I’d always had a pretty good grasp on grammar and read a lot, so I decided I’d write a fanfic about it instead and make a comic later (I never did).

Q3: Were you scared to begin posting it online?

A3: I sure was. Part of the fear came from Fanfiction.net’s comment system being called “reviews,” which made me think people would be posting paragraphs of criticisms and critiques, since the only kind of review I was familiar with was newspaper columns rating new films and novels. I was pleasantly surprised when this not only was not the case, but that people actually liked the story!

Q4: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? Something else?

A4: Writing fanfic has definitely helped me improve my writing skills, simply because I wrote so frequently and reread my own stories, figuring out what worked and what didn’t. It also taught me to be more patient when waiting for updates from other authors, now that I knew how difficult it was to upload more than once every few weeks!

Q5: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A5: Absolutely. I have some original stories in mind, and I’d love to make a living off of them while seeing other people enjoy them.

Q6: How you feel about the stigma surrounding fan fiction and fan fiction writers? Or, do you not feel any stigma at all?

A6: I feel like there is some stigma regarding what fanfiction is and what its writers are like—that it’s not real writing, that it’s all porn, and that it’s generally terrible. Fanfic and its writers get a bad rap.

Q7: Do you think that stigma is warranted? (Whether or not you have personally experience it?)

A7: It’s absolutely unwarranted. I believe if you look up statistics, you’ll find that most fanfic isn’t explicitly sexual, and of course there is plenty of bad fanfic out there, but there’s plenty of bad published writing, too, and a lot of fanfic writers are not professional and/or just starting out as writers. Of course there’s going to be bad writing; you can say that about almost any site with writing, fanfic or not, on the internet.

As for it being “real writing,” first off, what defines real writing? Does it have to be professionally published, hit a bestseller list, win a Hugo award? Does it need to have a blockbuster film based on it? Does it need to be in classical Greek, written by a scholar only two people in the world have heard of?

Guess what? Even if you say yes to any of those, there’s a lot more fanfic in the world than you might realize. Paradise Lost is essentially fanfiction of the Book of Genesis from the Bible. Medieval painters in Italy often painted scenes from the Bible, making many famous paintings fanart. Dante’s Inferno is a self-insert, one of the most ridiculed kinds of fanfic, into the Catholic afterlife, where he meets many famous and infamous figures (not unlike a so-called “Mary-Sue” self-insert who gets to meet her favorite characters all in the span of two chapters). Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a horror fanfic of Pride and Prejudice. I could go on, but you get the idea. There are so few truly original ideas simply because everything has been done, and fanfic just takes recycling ideas to the next step.

Q8:  What’s your favorite piece of fan fiction you’ve ever written? Why?

A8: Currently my favorite piece is a one-shot called “Swallow Your Soul,” a One Piece AU fanfic with the premise that a mysterious affliction is negatively affecting people with powers. My guilty pleasure favorite is a Hetalia high school fanfic, spanning three long stories and written over the course of three or four years.

Q9:  What’s something you’ve never been asked but want to be?

A9: For various stories, I’d love to be asked how I came up with certain aspects, where an idea came from, or for details on a worldbuilding thing I never had the chance to fully elaborate on in the story. I love rambling about those sorts of things, and if any one of the answers is that it’s a reference/homage to something, then I’d jump at the chance to talk about where it came from, because it’s probably something favorite of mine.

Q10: Do you write outside of fan fiction?

A10: A little bit, yes. At the moment, schoolwork and fanfic keep me occupied, but I’m trying to put together characters and plots for original stories that I hope to sell one day. One is a collection of connected short stories, and the other is a YA fantasy-style adventure.

Q11: What site you (mainly) use to write fan fiction?

A11: I’ve been on Fanfiction.net for my entire fanfic writing career. I occasionally post one-shots or drabbles on Tumblr in response to events or requests, and I’m working on rewriting my favorite Fanfiction.net stories to post on AO3, as well as planning to post any new stories on both FFN and AO3.

Q12: Why do you write fan fiction?

A12: It’s still the best medium for me to get my ideas out into the world. It’s easier for me to use characters I’m familiar with for stories, even if the settings are unfamiliar, and though I’m developing my own characters, I don’t know them well enough to write them in anything outside the main story I’m planning for them. It’s very fun to play with the characters I know and put them in new situations, and writing stories several thousand words long over and over is great practice for when I finally submit something to be professionally published.

Find pingo1387 on Tumblr, FanFiction.net, and Archive of Our Own.

guksthighs Interview

I, the interviewer, typically don’t interrupt at the beginning of the interview, but Jess is legit one of my favorite fan fiction writers of all time and I’m so honored that she took the time to speak with me. Anyway, onto the interview!

First off, can you start off by introducing yourself (whatever name you feel comfortable using) and telling us a little bit about yourself?

I’m Jess, an eighteen year old writer from the UK! I’ve been writing for BTS for a year and a half but supported them since the Boy in Luv era! I stan all seven boys ( but lean towards my angel child Kim Namjoon ) and when I’m not writing or doing schoolwork I’m usually doing some sort of sports! Also I just wanted to say thank you so much for asking to interview me, it is only such an honour that I’d make the cut!

Q1: Why did you first begin writing fan fiction? A1: I’ve always loved writing and the easiest way to share it and get people to read your work is to write for a fandom - well that was my ideology in the beginning. In reality, what’s kept me writing are the messages I receive every now and then ( from people like you ) that make me feel like the luckiest person ever and like I’m doing a decent job at writing!

Q2: You mainly write imagines/ preferences, but you do have a few series and longer pieces on your page. Do you prefer to write in shorter forms? A2: When I first started out writing, rather embarrassingly, my aim was to grow a following on Tumblr so I posted daily for the first few months and because shorter forms are faster to write I was able to continue that and now I am able to balance my life and writing easier. I’d love to write longer pieces but I’d prefer to publish a smaller piece weekly than work on a huge project!

I also have a lot of started and unfinished pieces which is more of a reflection of me - I’ve always had a huge imagination and am always planning the next idea but I do intend to start posting longer pieces soon! Q3: Have you written fan fiction for other fandoms? And/or before starting your current account? A3: I have! My first ever fan fiction was One Direction ( it’s deleted now - thank god - and on looking back I’m ashamed to say I used a plot for original characters to try and garner more reads - it worked ). I have a wattpad account ( jeonsthighs ) where I’ve completed a 50 chapter Haikyuu piece called An Angel’s Wings. Last I checked it had 125,000 reads and in summary is about a deaf volleyball player who overcomes her self taught ideology that relying on others makes you weak. I’ve also written for other anime fandoms; Fairy Tail and Kuroko No Basket, so I guess you could call me versatile ~ Q4: Do you write anything outside the realm of fan fiction? A4: I write columns for my school newspaper and have the honour of having written an article that has been used in a newspaper!

I used to write stories in school on scrap pieces of paper that would be passed around the class as I wrote them which encouraged me to share it online to try and spread more happiness!

These days I tend not to write any fiction outside of fan fiction due to the amount of work I have but I’m hoping after my exams I’ll be able to juggle my account and work on some ideas I’ve had for a while! Q5: Were you scared to begin posting your work online? A5: Surprisingly no! I’ve always written as a form of stress relief and mindfulness as I’m able to channel any negative emotions into words. So I wasn’t too worried about no one noticing me and am still surprised at the size my account has grown to. The only thing that scares me these days is someone I know finding my account and confronting me about *some* of the more mature content I’ve posted. Q6: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? Yourself? A6: Fan fiction has taught me not to hide away from myself and all of my emotions and thoughts which means I’ve been able to deal with my depression and anxiety in a way I wouldn’t have done before. Often I write characteristics that reflect myself, often without meaning to and upon looking back on my work I notice the resemblance. Writing has been the best and most helpful form of mindfulness and by participating in publishing Fan fiction I am able to connect with others! ( Even if it has given me unrealistic expectations for dating TT )

Q7: What’s your favorite piece you’ve ever written? A7: I’ve thought about this question a lot and come to the cheesiest conclusion ever, even so I stand by it. Every work I publish is my favourite, they all reflect different parts of myself and have different journeys and memories to me and others. I do however have a special place for Golden Boy, a Park Jimin piece because it was my first ever embarking on a journey to write 10,000 words. Q8: Do you notice any stigma surrounding fan fiction or fan fiction writers? A8: That we’re crazed fans or disgusting. I feel authors are criticised for using real people in their work - which was the scariest thing for me as I was moving from the realm of anime and literal characters to writing about real living and breathing humans. However, I use the boys as characters for my writing, I am aware that everything I do is imaginary and do not think it’s likely to come true ( which is one of the reasons I prefer writing crazy alternate universes over more realistic pieces ) Another top stigma is that fan fiction writers are not talented which is rather hurtful. Oh! Also that we’re all perverts and write fifty shades of grey style pieces ( I know there are accounts out there that are nothing like that ... just maybe not mine aha )

Q9: If so, how do you feel about this stigma?

A9: It doesn’t bother me particularly, instead of going on long winded rants that will be skipped by people who believe these I try and be active in changing that stigma ( apart from the smut cus a girls gotta sin ). I’ve started my author recommendations list to support smaller accounts who are just starting up which has had an amazing reception and results!

Q10: What’s something you’ve never been asked but want to be? 

A10: Favourite book? Q11: Is Tumblr the site you prefer to post fan fic on? If so, why?

A11: Tumblr is my preferred site - to an extent. It is amazing for creating and talking to the blog family, as well as making friends. However, as I said earlier I’ve been in this fandom a long time and the recent surge of new fans has resulted in more arguments and fights that I don’t like seeing.

Q12: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day? A12: Yes! I’m hopefully going to university next year to study English Literature and hope to either go into journalism or publishing/editing. I’d love to be a published author but I’m happy to support others in accomplishing their dreams!

Thank you so much for interviewing me and letting me share my thoughts and journey as a BTS fan fiction writer! It’s an honour to be someone you wanted to interview and throughout the process you’ve been so kind ! I really would encourage everyone to try writing, whether it’s poetry, short drabbles or even thousands of words long chaptered pieces because you never know what your mind and imagination are capable of until you push them! Thank you again and happy reading!

Check out Jess’ amazing imagines and fan fiction on her Tumblr page guksthighs and on her Wattpad jeonsthighs! Once again, thank you, Jess!

Not So Silent Night

Genre: Quarantine Romance, slight Enemies To Lovers, Neighbors AU, Fluff, slight Angst

Pairing: Namjoon/ Reader

Warnings: none

Synopsis: Namjoon hadn’t intended to spend much time in his tiny apartment. And then a pandemic broke out. Now he’s stuck dealing with his noisy neighbor, you.

✦✧✦✧

Namjoon thought he was in the clear that Wednesday night. He'd heard the opening and closing of your front door, the clink of your keys in the lock, and the rustle of the groceries in your arms. He knew it was your Friday, which meant you'd usually turn on music while you cleaned your tiny apartment, or a play a movie on full blast while you devoured an entire pizza yourself.

It was nearly 9 pm and he hadn't heard a peep from you, not even the true crime podcast you sometimes put on. Namjoon, unlike you, had worked from home for months now. Even though most of his time at work was spent in his private studio, he had nearly an identical set up in his apartment.

He was still working, albeit, not on the songs he produced for other artists, but on his own. He'd just started editing the melody when heard the familiar bass chords of "What Makes You Beautiful". It was your favorite song to torture him with. Namjoon had nothing against the British boyband you seemed to love so much, that was until you started them playing them loudly at odd hours.

Namjoon sighed, pausing his work and rubbing his temples. He really needed to save up for a good pair of noise canceling headphones, although he wouldn't find it surprising if you somehow managed to invade his eardrums right away.

He tried to continue working, turning his headphones all the way up. Yet, all he could focus on was the way he heard the familiar bass line restart when the song ended.

Namjoon groaned and threw his headphones onto his desk. He'd only moved into this tiny apartment because the rent was cheap and he hadn't intended to spend much time in it. Then, a pandemic hit and suddenly, Namjoon was confined to four menacing white walls with the only company being his noisy neighbor, you.

He waited a half hour before he walked down the stairs to your apartment. Even though the city was under quarantine, the apartment building was snug and it was nearly impossible not to come into contact with each other. Securing his mask over his ear, he knocked on your door.

"Yes?" you asked, answering the door as if you'd been expecting him. You, too, had just finished looping the mask around your ear. It was a bright polka dot pattern that distracted Namjoon long enough that he managed to speak before noticing that your oversized T-shirt made it look like you weren't wearing shorts.

"Can you please keep it down, Y/N? It's the middle of the week for me and I have a Zoom call at 8 am tomorrow."

"That sounds like your problem," you said, leaving your door open as you tied the top of the trash bag you'd been getting ready to take out when Namjoon knocked.

A glint of annoyance passed over Namjoon's eyes and even from under your mask he could make out your familiar smirk from the way your eyebrows rose.

"Do you even own headphones?" he asked, crossing his arms. He didn't notice the way your eyes swept over his biceps and chest with his movement.

"They hurt my ears," you said, shrugging. Grabbing the trash bag by the tied top and heading back for your front door. "Now, be a doll and take this out for me? My legs hurt from work."

Namjoon looked at you with his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He didn't say anything as you shoved the bag into his hands.

"What? Why are looking at me like that?" you paused, dialing down your attitude for a moment. "Listen, if you do this, I'll turn it off so you can get your beauty sleep."

He watched as you reached up and pat his shoulder. Your nail polish was chipping and the gleam from your gold promise ring dulled. His eyes traced as your hand left the fabric of his T-shirt and came to the doorknob of your front door.

"Goodnight Namjoon," you said, shutting the door.

Namjoon stood in the hallway, his lips parted and a small breath. He scoffed as the familiar bassline blasted from your apartment.

✦✧✦✧

You'd had a long day. Work was keeping you at least an hour over every day and you felt your feet ache as slipped off your shoes. Even though you just wanted to fall into bed, you changed and washed your hands first, doing your best to feel clean before your skin hit the sheets. As a Pharmacy Technician, you were essential, and even if most of your job was counting pills and performing customer service, right now it was harder than ever.

With only ten hours until you had to be at work, you ordered food and eyed the laundry that was beginning to spill over the edge of the hamper like waves over a jetty. You sighed, taking out your phone and putting on music. You gathered up your clothes and laundry soap. Pocketing your keys and a handful of quarters dug out of the bottom of your purse, you made your way to the basement laundry room.

You let the music play. While you weren't particularly trying to get your tall neighbor's attention, or get on his nerves, like you usually were, you secretly hoped you'd get to catch a glimpse of his signature white T-shirt against his bronzed skin.

Loading your clothes into the shared washer, your phone began to ring and your boyfriend's face flashed across the screen. He was smiling widely in the picture, his hair swept back by the coastal breeze. At one point, it had been your favorite photo of him. Now, it just felt like a sweet apple that turned out to be poison.

You ignored the call and poured the detergent into the machine. Inserting the quarters, you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. You'd heard his feet on the stairs enough, that you recognized the soft one, two pattern as he made his way downstairs.

"I think the whole complex knows you're a fan of One Direction now," Namjoon said, coming into view. His hands were empty, having obviously come down purely because of your disruption.

"So be it," you said, starting the machine and glancing down as the music stopped and your phone rang again. You frowned as you rejected the call.

Namjoon noticed, his brow furrowing as his eyes glanced down at the phone in your hand. "You should've answered. At least you'd be less of a bother."

The two calls and the exhaustion weighed you down and felt yourself drifting below the surface. "I'm really not in the mood right now, Namjoon. Maybe tomorrow."

His sarcastic smile faltered. "If you don't want me to bother you, then don't play your music so loud." He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscles becoming more prominent as the fabric of his T-shirt stretched to accommodate the new position. You had no idea how he stayed so toned with the apartment gym shut down and such a small apartment.

"Maybe you should invest in earplugs."

"Maybe you should invest in headphones."

You scoffed and headed back upstairs, not feeling the banter. Your neck and shoulders were tense and you just wanted to finish your laundry and pass out for the night.

✦✧✦✧

Namjoon didn't think much of your sour mood. It was obvious that it extended beyond him since you rejected the phone call. He stood in the laundry room for a few moments and watched your laundry spin around in the washer.

He remembered back to the week before when you forced him to take out your garbage. A thought crossed his mind and he wondered if a good prank would lift your spirits.

With most coin operated washers, the doors locked right after the money is inserted and the washer starts. The ones at your apartment complex, however, had a loophole. Hitting the coin return button a few times, the quarters you'd entered fell into the coin return and the machine slowed to a stop.

Waiting a few moments to make sure you weren't coming back, he opened the door and took your wet clothes out of the dryer. He pocketed the coins, reminding himself to use them for your clothes later. Setting them on top of the washer, he rushed up to his apartment and grabbed his own laundry, starting it.

✦✧✦✧

The timer went off a half hour later. You were halfway through eating dinner but paused to go switch loads. You knew between your boyfriend' incessant calls and the hour long drying cycle, you were not going to get to sleep any time soon.

Shuffling down to the laundry room, you didn't even bother to throw on music this time. The heaviness in your eyes wouldn't be cured with Harry's sweet voice as usual.

Opening the door to the washer, your clothes were not there. A stroke of panic ran down your spine as your eyes darted across the row of washers, wondering if you had gone to the wrong one. All the other doors were open. You felt a stirring in your stomach as your mind raced with what to do.

"Lose something?"

You turned to see Namjoon coming down the stairs, carrying a laundry basket full of your wet clothes. Your heart beat out of your chest, your vision went black as your mind processed the sight.

"What the fuck, Namjoon?" you asked, yanking the basket from him. Tears came to your eyes as you looked down at the sopping wet clothes.

Namjoon's eyes widened at his words, having expected a snarky quip from you, he released his grip on the basket easily. Fishing for the quarters in his pocket, he held them out to you.

"God, I'm gonna get absolutely no sleep tonight," you said, shoving your half washed clothes back into the washer.

"Y/N?" he asked, his voice soft. "What's wrong?"

Once you'd restarted the washer, placing your body physically in front of it to block Namjoon from tampering with it once again, you eyed him.

"I'm only gonna get a few hours of sleep," you said, your voice surprisingly level. "My work clothes are in there." You leaned back against the washer, sighing as you looked down at the time on your phone.

"I-I'm--"

"Save it, Namjoon," you said. "Listen, I know we have this sort of relationship where we mess with each other. But, I'm really not in the mood for it tonight."

Namjoon tried to move towards you, but stopped himself, unsure of exactly what he was going to do or how he could help. He'd never seen you like this before. Dark circles around your eyes, your hair stringy and tousled from running your hands through it, and your posture so tense. Even though the lower half of your face was covered with a bright green mask, he could still make out your frown behind the fabric.

"Just le--" You were cut off by your phone's vibration.

Despite Namjoon having caused your distress, whoever kept calling you made your brow furrow and eyes water in a way that left Namjoon wanting to answer the phone and find out what they had done to you.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. "Who keeps calling you?"

Glancing down at the washer it had now moved onto the second cycle, you ignored. Meeting Namjoon's eyes, it hurt your chest to see the concern in them. After seeing you like this, after getting annoyed with him, he still worried about you.

"Just leave me alone, Namjoon."

✦✧✦✧

It was midnight on Wednesday night when the sound of yelling overtook the melody in his headphones. At first, he didn't think much of it. Many couples lived in the complex, and an occasional fight wasn't uncommon. Then, he heard your voice.

✦✧✦✧

"Jae-ho, what are you doing here? I told you you couldn't come."

"I just want to see you, baby." There was a softness in his voice, but it didn't reach his eyes. You'd been dodging his calls and texts for the past few days, hoping he would get the hint.

"Not until your test comes back negative," you said. "Plus, we really shouldn't be seeing each other that much. Especially since I'm still working."

Your boyfriend let out a long sigh and moved to walk inside. You blocked him, shutting the door slightly and wedging yourself in the gap. This only made him more frustrated, his hands reaching out to touch you.

You let him, allowing his hand to brush your own. You knew it was unlikely your boyfriend would get a positive result, his exposure limited and brief. But you couldn't risk it.

"Are you not scared of spreading it to me? To anyone?"

"I don't have it, babe. I've told you."

"You were still required to get tested. And since I see so many vulnerable people at work, I can't risk it." This wasn't the first time this was an issue. You'd been tested twice already. You job required you to come into contact with people all day, and more than a few confirmed cases had come through your pharmacy.

Jae-ho had had an issue those times too. Coming over when you'd told him not to, calling you until he got sick of dialing your number. You weren't sure how much longer you could take this.

"Are you cheating on me?"

The question lingered in the air as your mouth fell open in shock. Did he think that was the only reason you could not want to see him?

"No, of course not! I'm trying to protect you, Jae-ho!"

"I know you like that neighbor of yours. You still see him, don't you? Why do you see him and not me?"

"We're neighbors! This complex is so tiny, we can't help it!"

Your voice and his gradually rose with your emotions. You barely remember what either of you said after that, you only remembering sliding the promise ring off your finger and flinging it down the stairs.

✦✧✦✧

Namjoon walked down the stairs when he heard your door slam. He came upon your boyfriend, scoffing at your door. When he met the other man's eyes, Namjoon's immediately narrowed.

"Of course," Jae-ho said. He shook his head and walked down the stairs, pausing at the next landing. He bent down to retrieve something and Namjoon stopped focusing on the other man, reaching up to knock on your door.

Namjoon's knuckles didn't even make contact with your door before he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Jae-ho stood a few steps down and held out the gold promise ring you always wore.

"Give this back to Y/N," he said. "I don't want it either."

He handed Namjoon the ring before turning around and leaving for good.

✦✧✦✧

"Y/N?" Namjoon's voice cut through the dark silence of your apartment. You'd everything outside, but not realized that it was Namjoon Jae-ho was talking to. "Are you okay?

You opened the door. You tried to wipe your tears before Namjoon could take in your figure, but it was fruitless. When your eyes met his, you saw his heartbreaking at the sight of you.

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not," Namjoon said, waiting for you to give the okay for him to enter your apartment. You knew that there was no hiding from Namjoon. The two of you literally lived on top of one another and saw each other almost daily when you did the laundry or took the trash out. There was nearly no way to avoid Kim Namjoon for long.

You moved aside and closed the door behind him. Flopping down on your bed, you looked up at him. "Sorry if we woke you up."

Namjoon shook his head. "You didn't."

"Sorry to interrupt your work then," you said, feeling like you owed the man an apology for more than just this one night. "I didn't mean for it to escalate like that."

Namjoon didn't say anything. He glanced around your apartment, sensing the way that his eyes on you made you uncomfortable.

"You don't need to apologize," he said. "For anything."

You stayed silent, hugging a pillow to your chest.

The silence wasn't tense, but it wasn't calm either. There was something lingering between you. Something keeping Namjoon in your apartment after making sure you were okay. And something that allowed you to let him in at all.

"You know, whenever I was upset or I had trouble sleeping. My mom would always make me milk and cookies. It seems counterintuitive that something sugary helped me sleep. But it never failed."

Namjoon left for his apartment for a moment, coming back with a package of chocolate chip cookies and two glasses of milk. He handed you one of the glasses and sat the package of cookies down beside you.

"Is it okay if I stick around? Just in case your boyfriend tries to come back," Namjoon said. He knew his explanation was flimsy. It was obvious when the man left that he did not intend on coming back.

"Yes," you said, reaching to pull out a cookie and dip it in the milk. "I'd like that."

The two of you ate in silence. Silence rarely occurred when you saw Namjoon, no matter how much he may want it to, but now, you could tell by the tension in his shoulders that it worried him.

"You know, I kinda look forward to hearing you every night," he said. "Lets me take a break from my work. Means I get to come see you."

You chuckled, smiling for the first time that night. "Why do you think I was always loud?" The crunch of a cookie filled your pause. "I knew you would always come complain."

✦✧✦✧

"I have a present for you, Y/N," Namjoon said.

It was the holidays now. Your family was far away and none of you wanted to get on a plane. It saddened you that you wouldn't be able to see your family, but Namjoon had become your solace. He'd usually hear when you got home and about ten minutes later, he'd appear at your door, asking what you were having for dinner that night. Most of the time, you ate together.

It was just like all those other nights, except you didn't have to work the next morning. Namjoon had met you by your door, takeout in hand, and a backpack slung over his shoulder.

Namjoon reached into his backpack and pulled out a wrapped package. The paper was a bit wrinkled, indicating he'd wrapped it himself. It made you smile.

"Oh, wait," you said, getting up and walking to the closet where you pulled out a similarly wrapped package. You handed it to him and looked down at his gift for you.

Tearing off the paper, you laughed when you noticed it was headphones. They were expensive too, which made your stomach turn thinking that he spent so much money on you.

"Open the box," he said, a smug smile on his face.

You ripped open the box, finding crumpled up paper. You felt around until you felt a thin object. Pulling it out. you found a CD.

"It's a mixtape. For you." Namjoon's eyes wandered around the room. "I--uh--hope you'll play it like you do One Direction."

You flung your arms around him, but he stopped you. "There's something else."

You looked down at the box quizzically before you began pulling out the paper. Reaching inside, you felt what you immediately recognized as a ring. Thoughts ran through your mind as you pulled it out.

It was your promise ring from Jae-ho, shinier than when you had last seen it. "He wanted me to give it back to you. But, I knew it might be painful. I had it cleaned and engraved for you."

You turned the ring to see the engraving on the inside: Be Loud - KNJ

Selenophilia || myg

Excerpt: ‘You only ever saw him in the moonlight, soft white rays illuminating his features as he’d gaze into your eyes; searching them for an answer you never seemed to provide.’

Genre: fluff, angst if you squint, moon man!yoongi

Length: 1.3k

Moodboard: @petrimyg - this aCTUAL angel gave me three of the most amazing moodboards and although i chose this she managed to hit the motifs perfectly as alWAYS,,,

A/N: so i tried out a new style to usual,, please tell me what you think !! posting weekly is killing me so any comments and asks are very very very appreciated.

“Can’t you stay?” you whispered into his chest, weaving your hands through hair the colour of starlight, tugging the strands gently as you tried to extract a confirmation from Yoongi, that this once he wouldn’t leave you.

His arms found their way to your waist, ice cold fingers tracing constellations onto your soft skin, squeezing tightly before placing a soft kiss to the tip of your nose and smiling so wide you wondered if you need sunglasses. “Did I summon the sun instead of the man in the moon?”

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MissAmazaynMissStylik Interview

Before we get started with the questions, would you mind introducing yourself  and telling us just a little about yourself?

Thank you again for having me. It’s a pleasure to have you interview me.

My name is Sammi and I’m 21 years old. I’ve been writing since I was about 15 and it’s something I truly love. I’m a massive fan of BTS and Namjoon is my bias. I love to make new friends but I’m a little shy in real life. I am also into a lot of idol games (Love Live School Idol Festival, Bang Dream!, Utapri Shining Live).

Q1: What kind of fan fiction do you write/ have you written?

A1: I started out writing One Direction fanfics and ended up branching out into a specific anime fandom (Yu-Gi-Oh). I mostly write a lot of romance and fluff. I’m currently trying my hand at a BTS AU.

Q2: What made you start writing fan fiction?

A2: I started writing fan fiction because I wanted to have a personal hobby. At the time, I felt like I wanted to challenge myself and try something new.

Q3: Were you scared to begin posting it online?

A3: Absolutely! I was terrified when I posted my first fanfic (which I have since deleted). I was only 15 when I started writing and it made me feel insecure at first.

Q4: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? Something else?

A4: Writing fanfiction has taught me a lot. I’ve been writing for about six years now. It taught me to be more comfortable in my own skin and be myself. It showed me a path to my own style of writing. It helped me deal with my panic attacks and it made me find my own sense of happiness.

Q5: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A5: Absolutely but I don’t think my writing will ever hit that level.

Q6: How you feel about the stigma surrounding fan fiction and fan fiction writers? Or, do you not feel any stigma at all?

A6: I feel like fan fiction writers get a bad rep. I’ve read so many amazing books by fan fic writers and it makes me wonder why people have that feeling inside of them.

Q7: Do you think that stigma is warranted? (Whether or not you have personally experience it?)

A7: Depends I guess. I mean I’m not speaking for everyone but people view these things differently. To each their own I guess.

Q8:  What’s your favorite piece of fan fiction you’ve ever written? Why?

A8: Probably my Namjoon AU. I’m not going to lie but I haven’t written a BTS fic before. The feeling of pouring my love for Namjoon and the other members makes my heart happy.

Q9:  What’s something you’ve never been asked but want to be?

A9: Who inspired you to write? It’s one question I’ve never been asked as a writer.

Q10: Do you write outside of fan fiction?

A10: I’ve tried but I wasn’t successful at it.

Q11: What site you (mainly) use to write fan fiction?

A11: Wattpad!

Q12: Why do you write fan fiction?

A12: I write fan fiction as a way to make a connection. As an author, I want to connect with the people around me. I love seeing the interactions between people who read my books. It makes me really happy.

Thank you again for interviewing me!

Read Sammi’s fan fiction on her Wattpad page here!

This Christmas

Genre: Producer!Yoongi, Fluff, Angst, slight enemies to lovers, Christmas-y

Pairing: Yoongi/Reader

Warnings: Portrayal of an abusive relationship (not involving Yoongi)

Synopsis: Yoongi doesn’t wanna work with a bubble gum idol like you. Especially not after your scandal where your and your manager’s relationship was revealed. And definitely not for a Christmas song.

✦✧✦✧

“You want me to what?” Yoongi asked. If this were a cartoon, his eyes would be bugging out of his head. The CEO of the company cleared his throat and looked at Yoongi over his glasses. It was obvious that despite being a high-level CEO of a successful music company, he was nervous to pitch this to his most successful producer.

“Listen, Yoongi, I know you’re not happy about this. But, Y/N’s comeback is crucial for her career. You know the scandal she had last year and this is her first comeback since then. We need this song to be everywhere. This why we need you to produce it.”

“Okay, but like, a Christmas song? I know Y/N had a pretty pure image, but isn’t that a bit much? Even for her?”

“Her scandal broke on Christmas Day last year. We thought having her do a Christmas song would help address that she moved on and wants to focus on her career.”

Yoongi remembers your scandal a year ago. You’d been dating your manager. It was said you used his fondness of you to move up in the company. It was why you were a soloist and not in a group, why you didn’t write your own songs but still got all the best ones, and why you had your good girl image. You were the role model for school girls everywhere in your pale pink skirts that matched your lips.

He’d never worked with you before. You were always so clean-cut, so bubblegum. It wasn’t the type of song he wrote or worked on. In fact, despite working at the same company, and you being one of the largest idols signed with them, Yoongi didn’t remember ever meeting you. He’d seen you passing, your manager placing his hand on the back of your skull to shield you from the camera flashes. Your hood up and a mask pulled up to cover most of your face.

“I’ve never done one of her songs. Why this one?”

“After the last year, it’s impossible for Y/N to go back to her pure image. It just isn’t believable. We need you because you don’t do typical sounding songs.”

Yoongi thought for a moment. An edgy Christmas song? Certainly possible, but could you really pull it off?

“It will be a new version of Last Christmas. We want it to be heartbreaking. Address the scandal without directly commenting. You have a knack for subtly that she needs.”

“All right,” he said. He knew he had no choice in the matter and it was only one song. Yoongi hadn’t made his name as a producer doing bubblegum songs, but the company allowed him to release his own music under their label as long as he produced all the other artist’s songs they asked of him. “But I’m not going to be like the other producers she’s worked with.”

✦✧✦✧

The night before your and Yoongi’s first recording session he pulled up a playlist of your songs. You had a good voice, Yoongi would admit. He listened to a few seconds of each. You had the sweetheart image with mostly upbeat pop songs with a few heartbreak ballads mixed in. They were all written by the best songwriters at the company, except for Yoongi, of course. He’d never written for you, although you had considered one of his songs once.

A few emails exchanged before you ghosted him. “Wine” ended up going to another soloist and had won Yoongi an award, he really didn’t care. After the scandal, you had the spoiled brat look. And, honestly, it didn’t surprise Yoongi. Everyone knew you came from a well off background and went to a private school that the company commonly scouted at.

Girls like you always had talent, but you always ended up destroying yourselves. He was surprised you were even trying for a comeback instead of taking the money you’d made so far and setting yourself up to live off royalties until your name was forgotten enough to re-invent yourself.

When the scandal broke, Yoongi had just released a new mixtape. It affected the entire company, causing the sales and streams of his album to plateau. He silently cursed your name as he tweeted album links.

✦✧✦✧

Yoongi sat in his studio. The hood of his black hoodie pulled over his head and slightly crouched in his chair, he worked on your song. While he didn’t have your vocal yet, he could easily work on the instrumental. It was tricky. “Last Christmas” was an iconic Christmas song that needed to be recognizable, but he also needed to make it different and stand out from every other cover.

His phone vibrated. It was you.

Y/N: I’m heading down now

You were most likely heading downstairs from the dance studios. He took off his headphones and soon heard a gentle knock on the door. He kept a lock on his studio to prevent anyone from bothering him while he worked. Only a few people had the code. And only to make sure Yoongi left every couple days.

Opening the door, he first saw your small smile. All lip, no teeth, yet still friendly. Behind you stood your manager, the one with who you’d had the scandal. Despite your break up being publicized, he was contracted as your manager for another year. Yoongi had no idea why you didn’t just buy him out and let the poor kid get on with his life.

“Hi,” you said softly, bowing politely before walking inside and leaving your shoes by the door. Your hair was up in a ponytail and you wore a blue sweatshirt three sizes too big. “It’s nice to finally meet the famous Suga.”  

He returned a tight-lipped smile and reached out to shake your hand, but your manager stepped in front and shook took Yoongi’s hand instead. “I’m Kwanho, Y/N’s manager.”

Yoongi nodded, giving the man an odd look as you skirted to the side. He noticed the way you balled up your hands in your sleeves and looked down at the ground when the other man pushed you out of the way.

“Nice to meet you,” Yoongi said. “If you give me your number, I’ll call you when we finish for the day or if we need anything.”

Yoongi motioned to the recording booth and you walked in, putting on your headphones and immediately taking your place. You seemed to relax as you prepared yourself in the booth, beginning to test the microphone and adjust the cords around your feet.

“Oh, no, I actually stay in the studio with Y/N.”

Yoongi paused. “Uh, well, I tend to work better when it’s just me and the artist. You know, so I can kinda get a feel for them and get the best vocals.”

“She’s more comfortable when I’m here.”

Yoongi glanced over at you in the booth. You seemed much more comfortable by yourself in the recording booth than you had with your manager and ex-boyfriend.

“She seems fine. Listen, this is my studio and it’s a bit small. I really don’t like people getting in the way.”

Your manager fumed, his hair beginning to stand up and his face growing red. His fists clench around the water bottle he carried and he sighed.

“Fine,” he said. “Just let me give this to her.”

Kwanho walked into the booth, his form completely hid yours as he stood in Yoongi’s view. He saw the man hand you the water bottle. Even after you took it, the man loomed over you for a few extra seconds.

Knowing he had an audience, your manager soon left the booth and the studio. When Yoongi heard the lock click shut, he turned on his mic to talk to you.

“Y/N?” he asked. “You ready to get some vocals. Need to warm up at all?”

You shook your head. “No, I warmed up while we were waiting.”

✦✧✦✧

It had been nearly a year since you’d recorded anything in a studio. Yet, nothing felt foreign. You had immediately adjusted everything to your preferences. Taking a sip of water as Yoongi started the music, you began singing. Your phone was full of practice runs from the night before. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of the famed producer of your company.

You had no idea what he’d said to Kwanho to make him leave, but your stomach had untied its knots when you saw him leave the studio. Even with Yoongi’s critical gaze, you were used to tough producers.

“That was good,” Yoongi said. “But, I listened to some of your tracks last night and I know you can do better. Think you could lower your voice a bit on the chorus.”

“Lower it?” As a soprano, you were used to coaches and producers pushing your voice to its highest notes and octaves. Rarely ever did your lower range get explored. “Uh, I can try. But why?”

“Well, this comeback is supposed both your vulnerability and strength, right? if we explore the range of your voice more, it will show a different side of you. Plus, if your vocal isn’t perfect it might show some of the vulnerability we want.”

Your eyes widened and you nodded as the track started again.

4 Hours Later

Yoongi was growing frustrated. Your vocals were fine, but only that. They weren’t anything special. He couldn’t entirely blame you. You weren’t used to singing in your lower register and it seemed your vocal coaches only cared about cultivating your voice for the cutesy songs of your past.

He sighed and rubbed his temples. “All right, let’s take a break,” he said. “I think we both need it.”

You came out of the booth and almost immediately held the phone to your ear. His brow furrowed as he wondered who you were calling so immediately.

“Hey, we’re taking a break.”

Based on the quick response and hang up, Yoongi knew exactly who it was.

“Is he bringing you lunch?”

You nodded and sat down on the small loveseat Yoongi kept at the back of his studio for the artists or few visitors that came in. Pulling your knees up to your chest, he couldn’t help but notice how much smaller you looked. When he’d seen you before the scandal, you looked healthy and filled out all your tight skirts and dresses.

Maybe it was just the oversized sweatshirt, but you looked thinner. Your collarbones stretching your skin and your cheekbones more prominent. He walked over to where he kept an electric kettle and started heating water.

“Want some spicy noodles?”

You shook your head.

A knock sounded and you got up. Letting your manager, Yoongi cause his hard gaze. He handed you a bag and refilled your water bottle. “Remember you’re on a diet, okay?” he said.

You nodded.

“So, how’s it going? Got enough for the song?”

“Not yet,” you said. “We’re working on it. Yoongi is really pushing me, but I think it will turn out well.”

“I hope he’s not working you too hard.”

“Of course not, I love being back in the studio.”

Yoongi poured the hot water into the instant noodles. “I think we’ll need another day. Clear her schedule tomorrow.”

Kwanho blinked twice. “Y/N is talented. I have every confidence it will only take one session.”

“How long have you been her manager? Surely, you know it can take multiple sessions to get everything I need.”

“I haven’t recorded for a while, Kwanho. It’s just cause I’m out of practice.”

Your manager sneered and dropped the water bottle. “Fine,” he said. Leaving the studio in a huff, he didn’t seem to realize he’d spilled the water all over Yoongi’s studio.

“I’m sorry,” you said, looking around for something to soak up the mess. “He’s just protective and doesn’t like leaving me alone.”

“Didn’t you two break up?”

“Yeah, which I think made it worse.”

Even if the two of you were still dating, Yoongi sensed something wrong. He pulled out paper towels from a nearby drawer and dropped to his knees to help you.

“He’s kind of a dick.”

“He wasn’t always. Would you believe he was once really sweet?”

“Maybe he acted that way.”

The two of you ate in relative silence, only piping up to discuss the song or the general happenings of the company. Yoongi finished his noodles and you finished your salad. After a few sips of water, you walked back into the recording booth.

✦✧✦✧

It wasn’t until nine o'clock that night when you and Yoongi finally agreed that enough progress was made. Yoongi waited for Kwanho to pick you up and he watched as the light he’d seen in you when you recorded slowly dimmed.

He didn’t knock this time, opting instead to text you. You answered the door and he walked in. Without a greeting, he met Yoongi’s eyes. “She’s free tomorrow. But let’s make sure to finish this up tomorrow. We only have a few weeks before we have to release.”

“Last I checked you weren’t my boss,” he said. “I understand the timeline and the song will be done in time.”

Yoongi turned to you. “If you record anything good tonight, you can text it to me. If it’s good quality, we might be able to use it.”

“Wait, you have his number?” Kwanho asked, grabbing your bicep.

“Yeah, I’ve had it since I showed interest in his song a year ago.” You glanced at Yoongi quickly before bringing your eyes back to your manager. “We’re working together. I don’t see why it’s a big deal.”

“If you need to text him recordings text them to me and I’ll get them to him.”

You scoffed. “Kwaho! Stop being so jealous, this is ridiculous.”

The atmosphere came to a boiling point and all Yoongi could focus on was you. The way you puffed out your chest at your ex-boyfriend and called him out. But, he noticed the fear in your eyes, the way you flinched when Kwanho let go of your arm.

“Let’s go, Y/N. We can talk about this later.” Opening the studio door, Kwanho motioned for you to leave before him. “And, you,” he made sharp eye contact with Yoongi. “Delete her number.”

You and Kwanho disappeared through the door and Yoongi locked his phone, placing it back in his pocket.

✦✧✦✧

Yoongi stayed in the studio after you left. It wasn’t unusual for him to stay until the early hours of the morning. Sometimes, he would even sleep on the couch and get a few hours of sleep before continuing in the morning.

The deadline for your song didn’t warrant such actions. Instead, he just sat in his studio and read back through his notes from the day. There were a few bits of your backing vocals from the day that he wanted to include on the final track, but the main vocal still needed work.

Thinking back over the day, he was surprised at how different you were from what he believed. You were soft-spoken, polite, and good to work with. You took direction well, but pushed back when Yoongi got too caught up in the production that he made a bad call about your voice.

Kwanho–on the other hand–wasn’t the loyal manager you took advantage of. At least, not from what Yoongi had seen today. He’d heard others at the company say you deserved it for using your relationship to get special treatment. But something didn’t feel right about the way your manager still held control over you.

✦✧✦✧

It rarely snowed in November in Seoul. Yet, as Yoongi stepped outside around midnight, he was met with cold, wet snow that soaked the ends of his hair. He walked towards his apartment that was only a few blocks away when his phone rang. It was you.

“Suga?” you asked, and Yoongi realized he hadn’t even told you his real name.

“Yes,” he said. “What’s up? Did you get a good recording?"He heard sniffles on the other line and he stopped walking. "Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“We fought after we left and I finally fired him. But now I have nothing,” you said. “He took everything. My apartment, my money, everything. I was wondering if I could stay in your studio for the night until I can figure something out.”

Yoongi looked up at the snow and felt it soaking through his clothes. “Where are you?”

“I’m outside the company building. I don’t have my ID.”

“I just left. I’m on my way.”

✦✧✦✧

Yoongi handed you a cup of coffee. You wore his sweatshirt and a pair of his sweats. It felt a little embarrassing and you knew what the tabloids would think you were taking advantage of yet another at your company.

“I don’t have creamer or anything, sorry,” he said.

You smiled. “Suga doesn’t have any sugar.” You took a sip of coffee and felt his gaze on you. When you looked up, you saw him smiling at you and holding in his laughter until you met eyes.

“It’s amazing that you can make jokes when your life is changing,” he said.

“The lawyers will handle everything,” you said. “Plus, what can I do now other than finish the song?”

There was a pause, but unlike when you were in meetings with the company executives, or when the silences between you and Kwanho led to explosions, it was content.

“I need to apologize to you, Y/N.”

Your brow furrowed. “Why? You’ve been so nice to me.”

“I judged you. I believed the press, too. Even up until yesterday, I believed you were entitled and the one taking advantage of Kwanho, not the other way around.”

“There was no way you could’ve known, Suga. But I appreciate it.”

“Yoongi,” he said. “Call me, Yoongi.”

✦✧✦✧

“What if we change the song?” Yoongi said, halfway through the next day when nothing was coming together like both of you wanted.

“What do you mean?”

“Instead of focusing on Last Christmas, what if we wrote a new version that focuses on how you’ve changed for the better.”

“This Christmas?” you said, your voice rising in pitch.

“Actually, yes.”

✦✧✦✧

BREAKING: Y/N RELEASES NEW CHRISTMAS SONG PRODUCED BY SUGA THAT DETAILS PAST RELATIONSHIP ABUSE

Today, Y/N released her first song following last year’s Christmas Day scandal that revealed that she was dating her manager. She is due to have her first comeback stage later this month.

The song, “This Christmas” discusses how when the news broke that it had been an attempt to control her. Her ex-boyfriend and manager leaked the news himself to prevent the singer from breaking up with and firing him. It focuses on the strength this experience brought her.

Y/N and her ex-manager are currently involved in a lawsuit that alleges that her manager used his privileged position on her staff to access her bank accounts and important documents. He then used this access to steal from the singer and commit various other crimes against her. Additionally, Y/N has told other sources that she was frequently controlled and emotionally abused while in the relationship.

This new song has already performed well on the charts and shows a new side to Y/N and her music. Famed producer, Suga, produced the song and spoke out in support of Y/N. The two have since been seen together on multiple occasions following the release of the song. A new Christmas romance for Y/N?