———lover of learning, language, the arts, academia, life, and love itself."paenitet me quod feci et non feci."
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the only thing stopping me from achieving my goals n dreams… is me.
“relapses are still progress.”
you just get up and start again.
i think i’ve finally hit the bottom of this little downward cycle i’ve been heading on for a while now.
post relapse clarity??
-> maybe this is growth?
perhaps to achieve the life i want, all i have to do is just try, one step at a time. and if i trip? i just get up and start again. keep going
because it’s not restarting is it? this is growth, and it contributes. we just continue where we left off. with the knowledge we gained from the slip up, we dust off, and keep going.
are you proud of me mom? how can i make you proud? would you hold me mom? would you love me unconditionally? can you give me advice mom? how do i do this. how do i do this without you?
i was nearly 6 months.
gone. just like that.
why can’t i just leave it. why can’t i let go. why do i let myself get sucked into bandaid feel goods??
SIX MONTHS?!!!! why did i have to fuck it up. why do i always have to fuck this up.
i keep saying i want faith, i want to know god, i want a prayer life… but i don’t know how and i don’t do anything to educate myself…
By @jordan_robins