LENA IS A MARRIED WOMAN?!?

LENA IS A MARRIED WOMAN?!?

today is canada day, so here are some canadian things that i think the bau members would enjoy

hotch would love tim hortons. he wishes they had it in the states. he'd love going on a timmies run through the drive thru on the way to work. he'd love the ubiquity of tim hortons. not quite on every street corner, but pretty darn close. he would enjoy cheap, decently good coffee, and it would be so practical. his turn to bring snacks for jack's soccer tournament? box of timbits for the kids and one of those portable coffee things for the grown-ups. he doesn't know what to get someone as a gift for christmas/birthday/promotion at work? tims gift card

rossi would love canadian wines. obviously, he loves italian wine first and foremost, but he'd enjoy a good niagara region or okanagan valley wine. he'd love to go on a getaway to niagara-on-the-lake and spend the days doing winery tours, playing golf, and not answering his phone. i think he would also love roots. he'd never wear it outside the house, but he would love some good quality roots sweatpants, sweater, and wool socks

jj would love canadian snacks that aren't sold in the states. she always forgets to eat real meals when she's working, so she keeps one of the drawers of her desk stuffed with snacks. if she went to canada, she'd buy so many snacks to stock her desk with. ketchup chips, all dressed chips, coffee crisp, smarties (the canadian kind, not the american kind - we call those rockets), butter tarts, nanaimo bars. she'd find ketchup-flavoured cheetos at the store and buy so many bags of them. she'd totally get stopped at the border for accidentally trying to smuggle kinder surprise eggs into the us

emily would love québecois and northern ontario french. she learned french in france with parisian teachers, which is completely different from the way french is spoken in québec and northern ontario (which are also different from each other), both in terms of accent and vocabulary. i think she'd love trying to understand their accents and picking up new words (mostly things like tabarnak, câlice, etc)

in my mind, reid has a total sweet tooth, so i think he'd love all things maple. maple cookies, maple fudge, maple candies, maple lollipops. i forget what it's called in english, but his favourite thing would be tire d'érable. maple taffy? the thing where you pour hot maple syrup on snow and then put it on a popsicle stick and eat it. he'd have maple candies living in his pockets and at the bottom of his messenger bag for ages

derek would love small-town ontario craft breweries. obviously craft beer exists outside of canada, but literally every small town in ontario has a craft brewery or two. it's like a big thing. my dad's a beer guy and he takes detours driving places to stop at his favourite craft breweries or to go to a new one. i feel like derek's the kind of guy who enjoys cracking open a cold one after a long day of flipping houses, so he'd enjoy getting a two-four of different kinds of craft beer from a local brewery and stocking his fridge

i tried so hard to think of one thing penelope would love, but honestly i think she would love everything. she'd come back from a trip to canada with so many souvenirs. a roots toque, a bottle of real canadian maple syrup, several snacks that aren't sold in the states, handmade moccasins, a mug with indigenous artwork, and a little bobblehead moose dressed as a mountie for her desk

SPENCER REID in Every Episode ↳ 1.11 Blood Hungry

Looks like this time his target was the heart. Did he take it? Yes

DEREK MORGAN with CHILDREN | 4.22 “THE BIG WHEEL”

i know canon suggests reid and ethan met as children but ive always pictured reid as a friendless child (sorry </3) and so to me they met in college and in my brain they Did Not Get Along at first. anyway here's my reid/ethan timeline:

reid graduates HS at twelve, takes a gap year because he's worried about leaving diana, then goes to college at fourteen

during reid's second year, ethan starts, having graduated HS at sixteen—also early, because anyone who reid can describe as someone he "competed with constantly" has to also be very intelligent

they meet one way or another, and reid fucking hates ethan. ethan likes reid at first, but when he picks up on reid's dislike of him, he responds in kind and they form a rivalry

the reason reid hates ethan at first is because he sees ethan as being him, but better in every way. growing up as a friendless, awkward child with a...complicated family, reid rationalised to himself that that was just the price he had to pay for being as intelligent as he was. so what if he's dodging cps? so what if he's facing relentless bullying? so what if he can't figure out how everyone navigates social situations so easily while he fumbles? he's a genius. it's fine, it's an exchange. it's one or the other and he's okay with that. and then...ethan. ethan is extroverted and personable and likable, has a close and largely uncomplicated relationship with his family, and is also a genius. and now reid has no choice to admit to himself that everything fucked up about his childhood wasn't the universe balancing itself, but just...fucked up. and he hates ethan for making him think about that.

i have three different ideas of how they eventually become friends: a happy one, where ethan, who, yes, responds to reid's obvious dislike of him by also being a shitty teenage boy, but who also is determined to kill him with kindness and annoy the shit out of him until reid gives in and stops also being a shitty teenage boy. then a darker one, where reid somehow discovers ethan's own demons (either his alcoholism or the issues that led to it) and is like "oh nvm i was right! we geniuses really are doomed to be unhappy people :) we can be friends now" although ethan would eventually knock some sense into him. and finally a silly one where they're mid-argument and then for reasons neither of them can name, they kiss. they argue to this day about who initiated

anyway. they decide to keep up a facade of dislike because their rivalry has become kind of infamous on campus and it would be so embarrassing if they had to admit they like eachother now. god can you imagine. so in public they have increasingly dramatic arguments and then laugh about in private. especially true if you, like me, believe there was something non-platonic going on between them, simply for safety reasons. one person sees them making out in a closet but nobody believes them when they try to spread that around because wtf are you talking about. they want eachother dead. if you're going to invent a rumour at least make it believable god.

[ID: The metronome meme. One side of the dial says "i want TMA's ending to be kept vague and open-ended it's better that way" and the other side reads "MY FUCKING GUYS GRAAAAHHHH". The metronome rapidly swinging from side to side reads "me rn". end ID]

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how are we fucking feeling gamers