I See This Everywhere, Being In The Chess Community As A Woman Is Just Less Fun... Too Many Sexist Men.

I see this everywhere, being in the chess community as a woman is just less fun... Too many sexist men.

there's a small subset of female chess streamers and the only ones i can name are these classically beautiful women, with a higher than average number of them having only fans accounts linked in their (chess) profiles, and for me there's this tension btwn not wanting to be puritanical about how women choose to market themselves online (there are a limited number of ways to make money from chess and streaming, and if you're a woman the most sure-fire way to turn a profit is to be typically hot) and intense resentment re: the way that as a woman your looks are still the most important thing in wrt your success. i think the general population has this idea of chess as being this very noble cerebral pursuit where it's really a battle of wits more than anything so base as physical appearance but. yeah it isnt, obviously

"I just want someone to love me for who I am"

Then show who you are

This was my internal monologue about a second ago, because I realized that if I don't show my lovingly 'weird' side that I want people to love then i'd never know if they will. How do I expect people to 'get' me when I don't even show what they should be 'getting'. Sometimes when you do show it and people don't respond the way you want to, it can suck, but it can also mean making a friend / having a relationship with someone who loves you for who you are and with deep connections.

But what if I get my heart broken, is the climb even worth the fall?

I like to battle this thought with something very simple, amd maybe you would say you can't compare the two, I like the analogy.

If you're going to eat something you really love, will you stop eating it just because you know you will be dissapointed when it's gone?

You may try to stretch the moment and take as little bites as possible, but you know you will finish it.

It is about focussing on the present and enjoying what you have. When you eat something delicious, you don't continiously think about it being gone, but try to enjoy the flavour as much as possible.

Hell, make the climb worth the fall, while maintaining balance

And maybe just maybe, you won't even fall, it won't be all bad. The food analogy won't add up anymore because the you won't ever run out of it.

PS:

I know this is easier said than done, but I like to organize my thoughts and even with this weird analogy, I hope it helps someone and I hope I don't come of as pretentious because I have a lot to learn. Also I do get a bit unconfortable woth comparing a relationship to food but I hope that wasn't the messag ethat you got from it and more like living in the present blablabla. Still it matters, and so do you. Have a joyful day or night!

HEARTBREAKING: Poor girl has to get out of the soft warm bed even though she is so so so so comfy

I forget sometimes

reminder:

“You don’t deserve someone who comes back, you deserve someone who never leaves.”

— Unknown