Futuristicnightmarepeach - Rosemary - Tumblr Blog

general relativity for babies

Oh 😭 she so cozy

Fun family story: when my aunt was marrying her wife everyone was really excited but also dreading it because my aunt is known for her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so when it came time for her to say her vows she had a shit ton of cue cards in her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took a deep inhale and then unravelled all the cue cards which were taped together and they all just read ‘HOT DAMN’ in giant letters and those were my aunts vows.

i'm crying rn.... the fucking Torta.....

People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan

People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan More info: Website | Instagram…

issue: the kittens are still trying to learn words. gus knows his name and daisy knows hers, but they don’t seem to quite grasp that when I say “babies!” im referring to both of them.

hypothesis: “babies” is too similar to “daisy” and they’re getting confused

test: start saying “gamers” instead

Outcome: they’re understanding it and it’s hysterically funny

graves grow no green that you can use.

gwendolyn brooks

The New York Times did a piece titled 100 Small Acts of Love and these are some of my favorites 💕

people who have obsessions are the only ones i know how to buy presents for. everyone else gets the loose change at the bottom of my purse

2 step guide to having a beach body!

1) Have a body.

2) Take it to the beach!

I had a person come up to the counter today, look at my badge and go, "You're not [insert stereotypical male name here].

Which, yeah, right, true, technically, I'm not, I had the wrong badge. I forgot mine at home, and I used my coworker's one. It was the only one available and it had "[male name], he/him".

(Side note, I so so so love that our badges have pronouns on them, it's so nice! Another side note, I go by they/them most of the time, but I don't mind he/she/ze or any other pronouns)

And, usually, gender is a concept I don't have the time or brain capacity to consider. It doesn't really matter for me personally, I know I appear feminine, and I don't have a problem with customers referring to me by she/her. I mean, sure, it's nice if they look at my badge, see "Cork, they/them" and refer to me by it, but honestly, the amount of fucks I give about random people using wrong pronouns is zero.

But this person at the counter just, I dunno. Looked like they wanted a fight. And the shop was empty, and I was bored, so I was like

You know what? Sure, let's do this. It's probably the only entertainment I'm gonna have today, might as well make it as confusing as possible. Because I love to watch the world burn, sue me.

So I go, "I actually am."

"But you don't look like [male name]!"

Been there, done that, "What do I look like, then?"

Stutter. "I don't know, but you're not [male name]!"

Okay, we're just repeating ourselves now, sure, "Then who am I?"

"NOT [male name]!!! Why are you wearing a badge that has a wrong name?!"

And it was at this moment that a brilliant thought crossed my mind. So I smile, cute and nice and pretty, and I go, "Because I stole it."

"You what?"

"I stole this name from the one who had it, and now he has no name and I get to have it. Now, can I have your name for this order?" And I extend a hand to them, like asking to put something in there, because I'm now committing to the bit. All while looking them in the eyes and keeping the smile.

They ended up leaving without ordering anything, but they also didn't speak to me after that, so that's a win, overall. And the manager laughed at that, so I'm not even in trouble.

The moral of the story? When in doubt, play by the fae rules.

I didn't even lie, technically speaking.

follow your dreams at a sustainable pace

hey ao3 can you like give the extra $38k you made from this month’s funds drive to charity

WILD PHANTOM CAR SPOTTED

ZOOM AND ENHANCE

FUCK YEAH

A guide to designing wheelchair using characters!

I hope this helps anyone who's trying to design their oc using a wheelchair, it's not a complete guide but I tried my best! deffo do more research if you're writing them as a character