So Proud Of My State, Look At Our Mighty Decor

So proud of my state, look at our mighty decor

this is the funniest fucking billboard possible. who the fuck paid for this

When the fic writer uses single quotation marks instead of the doubles cause the writer is british but your dyslexic ass can't read things right with only the single quotation marks so you're confused as hell for the entire fic

Writing for promptapalooza is literally like "Yes, this will be another short one" and then 2000 characters later I'm still not done with the prompt

EXACTLY

Julian, the reluctant heir of Lettenhove, completes his duties well. His people are safe, fed, and educated. He and his counsel have also been working to rewrite the prejudiced laws regarding non-humans.

While Julian was satisfied with the results of his efforts, he wouldn’t say he enjoyed politics. No, he got his daily dose of enjoyment from indulging in hobbies: music, writing, and collecting art.

Most recently, he acquired an incredible marble statue. The subject was a humongous, long-haired man wielding a long sword. The detail was incredible, and the eyes were painted black with veins sprawling over the rest of the face.

It was titled: “The Witcher”

Julian was immediately captivated by the statue. He’d bought it and placed it in his atrium the same day. The statue reignited the whispers about Julian’s eccentricities, but he didn’t care. Hours were spent staring at the statue, writing poems about it, and talking to it. Yes, he knew the statue wasn’t technically a person; however, it helped Julian organize his thoughts to speak them aloud.

One night, an assassin slipped into Julian’s castle. They killed his personal guard and eventually cornered him in his atrium. When Julian closed his eyes, bracing himself for the killing blow, there was a noise like a landslide.

Upon opening his eyes, Julian stared at the back of a figure clothed in black armor with hair as white as marble.

YES YES YES YES YES!!! I actually just recently wrote something vaguely similar for promptapalooza, I LOVE the idea of things coming to life because of how much you love them! ESPECIALLY when it's Geralt being released unto the world as Jaskier's guardian You're beautiful, Anon!

EXACTLY They HAVE to have that size difference

Listen I don’t care that Geralt and Jaskier are canonically almost the same height

I need that height difference, you don’t understand

Eskel noted Geralt’s scent on the crossroads. There wasn’t a lot of overlap in their paths (with so few witchers left, the priority was to cover as much ground as possible, not seek company), but Eskel had chased a creature much farther west than he usually went.

After a long, difficult hunt, Eskel decided he deserved to spend a night in his brother’s company.

Only, as he’s following Geralt’s scent trail, he hears an unfamiliar voice. The voice is in the same direction as Geralt’s scent. But Geralt didn’t take people on hunts, did he?

Eskel finds the source of the voice at what could only be Geralt’s camp. A man in a multi-colored, unbuttoned doublet is cooing and chatting at Roach. Who, amazingly, tolerates the noise. She’s also letting the man braid her mane.

What the fuck?

Scorpion, having recognized Roach, announced their presence with a neigh. The noise startled the colorful man. The man spun on his heel, fumbling to pull out a knife at his waist.

That knife…that was a Kaer Morhen blade!

Upon getting a good look at Eskel, the colorful man relaxed and sheathed his blade.

“You witchers, always sneaking up on poor bards. I swear, one of you shall startle me into a heart attack one day.”

Though he griped, the colorful man looked cheerful as he approached and held out his hand.

“Jaskier the bard, master of the seven liberal arts, at your service. Who might you be, sir Witcher?”

He was baffled by the man’s sunny, fearless attitude, but he took the hand, saying, “Eskel of the wolf school.”

“How delightful! Do you know Geralt?”

“We consider each other brothers.”

“And yet he never mentioned you. That man,” Jaskier tsked, “He never tells me anything!

“If it’s any consolation, he doesn’t tell us much either.”

Jaskier went on to tell Eskel that Geralt was out hunting and would be back soon. The bard invited Eskel to make himself at home and join him by the fire. They simply must become acquainted!

As Jaskier went on, Eskel got a good whiff of his scent. It was familiar to him. It was something that hung on Geralt when he returned from the path. Not to mention, Geralt’s scent was all over this man.

Given all of these signs, Eskel could only come to one conclusion: this was Geralt’s secret lover. The only thing that could make it more obvious would be if they exchanged medallions, which was impossible because this man wasn’t a witcher.

Eskel wasn’t surprised that Geralt kept his lover a secret. He had always been a bit territorial. And getting personal details out of Geralt was like trying to pry an alligator’s mouth open.

How lucky he was to encounter Jaskier! They could fill each other in on the details Geralt was needlessly stingy with.

I'm a huge sucker for witchers-meeting-jaskier fics, especially when they come to the conclusion that Geralt is in love with his bard (because he is!) I love this, I love this, I love this!