Hi! I Just Stumbled Upon And Read All Parts Of Your Of Monsters And Men Fic And Omg I Just Love It??!

Hi! I just stumbled upon and read all parts of your ‘of monsters and men’ fic and omg i just love it??! I think that is my favourite bakugo dynamic ever and i love how you make your oc a todoroki😔👍🏻 trauma bonding😮‍💨👌🏻 hope we’ll get to see more soon!! Love you!! Thank you for writing❤️❤️❤️❤️

🥹😭🫶🏼

I'm in tears, thank you so much, Lovely! Of Monsters and Men is my passion project and I knew going into it that it probably wouldn't be as popular because it is xOC, but I am so appreciative of those like yourself who are showing it some love!

As per usual with my writing, I needed to give my characters that ✨angst✨ so that's a big reason why I decided to make Azusa a Todoroki. For my poor Bakugo, though.. I feel kinda bad for killing off his parents, but like you said 💅🏼trauma bonding💅🏼 lol!

Anyway, Lovely, before I start full on gushing about the fic, thank you so so so much for reading and leaving me this very kind message, I really needed it 😭🫶🏼 I do hope you stick around for more because this story is far from being finished!

I love and appreciate you, Amazing Lovely!! <3 <3 <3

Of Monsters and Men | Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven |

Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!OC, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, potentially triggering content, universe-typical violence, Enji Todoroki (yes, that is a warning, he's trash), character death, suicidal ideation, (more tags to be added as story develops <3)

Note ~ Hi, my Lovelies! Hope you all are well! I hope you're enjoying the story! I have a feeling this fic is going to be a pretty long one, so I hope that those who have taken an interest in it stay along for the ride! Anyway, I love and appreciate you all, and I'm glad to be back! <3

Once she was dismissed, Azusa had burst out of her father’s office feeling way too much at once. She was too wrapped up in forcing herself to calm down and go numb until she could be back in the privacy of her room to notice the tall blonde rushing to hide around the corner. Unbeknownst to her, Bakugo had lingered just outside the door to the Marshal’s office desperate to know if she would actually get reprimanded or not. He had expected to hear her get a pass, to be let off easy for letting herself mess up their Drift sequence. What he hadn’t expected to hear was the Marshal ruthlessly berating her as she tried to choke back sobs.

After a few deep, shaking breaths and forcing her face to be blank and emotionless, Azusa walked back to her bunk. She had walked along numbly, not bothering to acknowledge other Rangers or techs she was familiar with lest her fragile mask crack. She had just barely made it through the doorway of her room when she crumbled, closing and locking the door behind her as she fell to the floor.

Back up against the door and choking on sobs is where she still sits, not having the will or strength to drag herself to her bed. Her father’s words reverberate through her mind, shredding her down to her core. Her hands come up to her mouth to muffle the broken, painful, whining sobs that tear from her chest. Like so many times before, years upon years of emotional turmoil flooded to the surface like hot magma. Far too many times throughout her life has she seen that side of Enji and it tears her down to nothing. Every. Single. Time.

Her puffy, red, and watery eyes solemnly glance over at the picture of Toya on her dresser, and whispered apologies begin falling from her lips. Pathetically, she drags herself over to the dresser, blindly crawling along the floor as tears continue to flow from her eyes. With far more effort than it should have taken, she heaves herself up to stand weakly in front of the dresser.

‘Failure! Disappointment! Embarrassment! Pathetic! Nothing!’ Her mind berates her as she reaches a shaking hand out to the photo of her late brother. Choking on a sobbed-out “sorry” she fixes the frame so that it lays face down on her dresser. Azusa then turns to her bed, letting herself crash into its surface without bothering to change before crying herself to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“Attention Bravo Inferno, report to Bay 10 immediately following breakfast for your trial Drift sequence. Attention Bravo Inferno, report to Bay 10 immediately following breakfast for your trial Drift sequence. Attention Bravo Inferno-”

Azusa reaches a hand out to shut off the repetitive alarm and lets out a heavy sigh as she sits up. Her body is a bit stiff as she gets out of bed to get ready for the day. Emotions from the day before try worming their way into her psyche, the emotion leading the brigade being guilt. Guilt over everything that had transpired but mostly over ignoring Aizawa when he had stopped by her bunk. She had laid in bed unmoving even when he had knocked multiple times and asked if she was okay from the other side of the door. Eventually, he had left and she was able to go back to berating herself in peace.

Looking at her ragged reflection as she does her hair, Azusa forces herself to go numb. It’s a horrible coping mechanism and she knows that, but it’s all she knows to do when everything feels like too much. Meeting the expressionless face that stares back at her from the mirror, she ignores the bags under her eyes and her bloodshot scleras. Instead, she smooths down any stray flyaways in her hair and leaves the bathroom. When she opens her bunk door to leave, Fuyumi is right there with her hand up ready to knock. She gives Azusa a once-over, then looks back up at her sister with concerned eyes.

“Zusa.. what did Dad say to you, yesterday? You look.. You’ve got that look in your eyes..” Fuyumi voices her worries as she falls into step next to Azusa, the two making their way to the elevator.

“I got a lecture like any other Ranger would have and then I moved on with my day,” Azusa answers in a monotone voice, not meeting her sister’s eyes. “And there is no ‘look’, Yumi, I look how I always do.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Your eyes are always that puffy and red, my bad. And you totally always act this distant and disconnected, sorry for being concerned.” Fuyumi sasses after scoffing. “Look, I know yesterday was rough. You can talk to me, Zusa. You don’t have to close yourself off, you don’t have to shut down like this-”

“I am fine, Fuyumi. Just drop it, alright?” Azusa accidentally says with more bite than she intended and the guilt starts to rear its ugly face, yet again, before she shoves it back down. Fuyumi sends Azusa a slightly startled glance, then shakes her head defeatedly as the elevator door opens up.

The two walk into the Mess Hall and immediately Azusa feels like every pair of eyes are on her. Her body tenses, a slight tremble starting in her hands as she heads toward the food line. She mentally fights to keep up the emotionless mask she’s donned while her thoughts try to convince her that every whisper from those around her is about her.

She rushes to fill her tray with food, then she crosses the room to an open table as calmly and collectively as she can. She passes by the table where Bakugo is sitting and accidentally makes eye contact with the blonde. Except, where she expects to find sharp, blood-red eyes glaring at her, she finds that Bakugo is looking at her with a calculating gaze. He’s looking at her like he’s trying to figure something out until he relents with a scoff and turns his eyes back down to his food.

Finally sitting down, Azusa shakes off the confusion from Bakugo’s weird behavior and begins picking at her food. She knows that if she starts thinking, and starts trying to analyze whatever the hell that was about, the other thoughts will begin battering her brain. She needs to be numb. She needs to not think about anything. That’s the only way that this next Drift trial will go smoothly.

After just mostly pushing the food around her tray for what feels like hours, she sees Bakugo get up to clear his place out of the corner of her eye. She waits a respectable minute or so after he has left the Mess Hall to do the same. Standing up, inhaling a long breath as she does, when she feels a tug on her sleeve and she looks down at Fuyumi.

“You hardly ate half your food, Azusa. You should really stay and finish it.” Fuyumi says, concern and what Azusa makes out to be pity lining her features.

Tugging her arm away from her sister’s light grasp, Azusa glares slightly, “I’ll be late for my Drift trial if I stay any longer and you know how the Marshal hates lateness. I’ll see you later, Fuyumi.”

Azusa can hear Fuyumi’s frustrated and tired sigh as she walks away from the table, but chooses not to let her thoughts linger on it. She drops her tray off at the designated area, then forces confidence into her stride as she leaves the Mess Hall. Getting to the elevator she doesn’t see Bakugo anywhere and she internally sighs a breath of relief. Pressing the button to call the elevator, she forces herself to think numb thoughts.

The elevator ride to Bay 10 was simultaneously too short and too long. Dread, fear, and rage had tried clawing their way through the barriers that Azusa had put up with each floor that had passed. All the while, Azusa had been desperately trying to get a fucking grip on her anxiety, which she currently feels like is still not under wraps completely as she steps out of the elevator. But seeing her fath- the Marshal standing at the threshold of the Shatterdome actually helps her with stuffing every single emotion she has back into that little box at the back of her mind.

“Sir.” She says emotionlessly, her features hardened and cold as steel as she stands at attention in front of the man, not bothering to acknowledge Bakugo standing off to his side.

“At ease, Ranger.” Marshal Todoroki says, stoic as ever but guilt swims in his eyes and Azusa has to fight with her inner rage for a moment. The tension is suffocating for a moment until Bakugo clears his throat uncharacteristically awkwardly, reminding the Marshal of his presence.

“Alright, Rangers, myself and Marshal Aizawa have decided to have you both run through a couple more trial Drifts to further test your compatibility. If the next couple of trials prove to be failures, then we will place you both with other co-pilots. If either of you are knocked out of alignment, try your best to bring each other back. You are a team and that means you should be getting through every obstacle as a team. Prove to me and Marshal Aizawa that yesterday was just a fluke, am I understood?” Marshal Todoroki finishes his spiel, his tone as militant and commanding as ever.

“Yes, Sir.” Azusa and Bakugo say at the same time and Marshal Todoroki gives them a singular nod.

“Good. Now, go suit up and get to your Jaeger.” Marshal Todoroki says dismissively before he turns to head for the Loccent Command Center for this Bay.

Silence befalls the two Rangers as they head for the sub-level where techs are waiting to help them suit up. They step into an elevator that’s slightly smaller than the one used for travel through the main floors of the base. Bakugo hits the button for the sub-level they need and the elevator begins moving with a metallic groan.

“You’re acting fucking weird today,” Bakugo states, his agitated voice breaking the silence.

“And why would you care?” Azusa spits, really not in the mood to deal with the blonde’s bullshit.

“I don’t!” Bakugo barks out, overly defensive and irritated. “Just make sure you don’t fuck this up, again! I’ve worked too damn hard for this and I don’t need the Marshal’s defective ass dau-”

“Don’t finish that fucking sentence, asshole.” Azusa seethes through clenched teeth, flames of rage burning behind her eyes as she glares at Bakugo.“I have worked just as hard as you and I am just as much stuck with you as you are with me. I am not the one who got stuck in my memories yesterday, am I? This is a job, Bakugo, one that we both signed up for. We don’t have to like each other, we just have to work well enough together that the job gets fucking done.”

Bakugo’s jaw and fists clench at Azusa’s words, but he doesn’t say anything further, each of their low blows making the other seethe. The two suit up in silence, ignoring the techs around them sending worried glances to each other at the thick tension. As they both enter the Conn-Pod of Bravo Inferno there is, once again, no conversation about side-preferences. Bakugo just automatically goes over to the right, forcing Azusa to take the left side.

Mechanical fasteners click into place and various instruments whir to life as the pilots settle into their harnesses. Taking a moment to close her eyes and take a couple of deep breaths, Azusa lets go of her anger and forces her mind to go numbly blank, once more.

“Good morning, Bravo Inferno pilots! Izuku Midoriya, here to be your trusted Loccent contact, today!” Izuku’s cheery voice comes through the Comms and Azusa feels the smallest tug of a smile at the corners of her lips.

Before Azusa has a chance to greet her childhood friend back, Marshal Aizawa’s voice fills the Comms, “Listen up, Rangers. Once your neural handshake has been finalized and deemed stable, you will be directed to move about the Bay. We have cleared it of all personnel so that you may roam freely. Marshal Todoroki, Izuku, and I will be monitoring your stats the entire time. If either of you goes out of alignment, we are more than prepared to handle the situation, so just focus on getting each other back to the present. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” Bakugo and Azusa answer in tandem, once again.

“Good. Prepare for neural handshake.” Marshal Aizawa says before Izuku’s voice comes back through the Comms with the countdown.

Azusa closes her eyes and tips her head back focusing on the mantra playing through her mind, ‘Just be blank. Carry nothing into the Drift. No emotions. No thoughts. Just be blank. Carry nothing into the Drift. No emotion. No thoughts. Just be blan-’

The sharp gasp that leaves Azusa’s mouth cuts off her train of thought and just like yesterday her consciousness is pulled through memory after memory, both her own and Bakugo’s. Memories different than the ones she saw yesterday flash through her mind, but she just lets her consciousness flow through them. Soon enough, she jerks back into the present with the feeling of Bakugo’s psyche rubbing against and melding with her own.

“Right hemisphere calibrating,” Bakugo and Azusa say together as they raise their right hand, repeating the action for their left side.

“Looking good, you two! Neural handshake is strong and stable! I’ve gotten the green light from the Marshals to tell you to go ahead and try moving whenever you’re ready!” Izuku happily informs the two over the Comms.

Azusa can feel Bakugo’s annoyance spike at Izuku’s cheerful tone and she can’t help the rolling of her eyes. Underneath the annoyance, though, is the excitement that the blonde feels along with a sense of power. ‘Jesus, this is just going to make his god complex worse.’ Azusa thinks with an internal groan and she hears a growl come from the blonde three feet away from her.

‘You know that I can hear your thoughts, right idiot?’ The anger-fueled thought flashes across Azusa’s mind leaving her slightly surprised yet smug, a self-satisfied smirk pulling at her lips.

“Get moving, Rangers. We don’t have all day to just sit here. Focus on the task at hand and take it seriously or get the hell out of that Jaeger.” Marshal Todoroki says borderline harshly through the Comms and it takes everything for Azusa not to flinch at his reprimand.

Bakugo must feel something flash through their bond because he looks over to Azusa, the look on his face contradicting what he tells her within their shared mind-space, ‘Don’t listen to him, just focus on keeping yourself stable and present.’

Only half meeting Bakugo’s gaze, Azusa just nods, forcing herself to be blank and numb again. As the two make their Jaeger take a step forward, Azusa offhandedly thinks about how keeping herself completely void of feelings is much more difficult to do with someone else in her brain. It’s an absentminded thought, fast and fleeting in nature. Yet it’s not fast enough for Bakugo to miss, but he chooses to ignore it. For now, at least.

Bakugo and Azusa move Bravo Inferno around the Bay for a while, both of them getting used to a new center of gravity and being in someone’s mind. They’re in the middle of practicing evasive maneuvers when their Comms crackle to life.

“Attention, Rangers. I just wanted to inform you both that Marshal Todoroki had to step out to observe a deployment. There was a Kaiju signature picked up on our radars along the Shizuoka coastline. I am staying here to continue observations.” Marshal Aizawa informs the two pilots, but before either of them can respond Bakugo goes shock-still.

Azusa can feel cold fear flash through her and her body jerks painfully as her reality is shaken. There’s a brief, muted, and echoing sound of sirens, the noise appearing to come from whatever flashback had thrown Bakugo back into the past. But the disruption within Bakugo’s psyche reverberates through Azusa’s and triggers something within her mind.

Suddenly, Azusa is on her knees with the armor of her suit protecting them from the grainy sand beneath her. Then she blinks and she is the 17-year-old version of herself wearing an all too familiar t-shirt and pair of shorts. The grains of sand now dig into the skin of her knees and the blare of the Kaiju Warning Sirens echoes around her.

She watches with paralyzing fear as a Kaiju gets increasingly closer to the shoreline she’s kneeling at. Even if the fear wasn’t freezing her muscles in place, she doesn’t think she would have the will to move. The Kaiju finally reaches the shallows and something akin to relief bleeds into Azusa’s body.

It’s been a month since Toya’s death and it has been nothing short of unbearable. Between the grief and her father’s heightened cruelty, Azusa has been going through hell. She doesn’t feel like she can do it anymore. She can’t handle the pressure of being the oldest Todoroki sibling. She can’t handle being the pillar of support for her brothers, sister, and mother. She can’t handle being just another outlet for her father’s misplaced anger.

It’s been a month and she can’t help but wonder how Toya did this for years without crumbling under the pressure.

The earth beneath her rumbles and shakes with every step the alien monster in front of her takes. It roars as it draws closer and Azusa’s body begins trembling subconsciously, her basic survival instincts screaming at her to run. But she ignores the rational part of her brain and focuses on finally being able to escape life, on the possibility of seeing her brother again. She’s so focused on the Kaiju that’s now right in front of her that she doesn’t register the sound of metallic muscles working to rush the monster staring down at her.

Metal meets alien flesh and the sound resonates through the air, pulling Azusa out of the daze she was stuck in. Beast fights beast and from the blur of limbs crashing into bodies, the tail of the Kaiju swings through the air. Its intention is to hit the Jaeger in the side, but as it travels along its set path it slams into Azusa’s body.

The wind is immediately knocked from her lungs as pain explodes throughout her entire being, her body sent flying through the air. She bounces a couple of times when she lands before she slides along the asphalt of the beachside parking lot. Barely conscious, she cries at the feeling of the cold yet fiery pain engulfing the right side of her body. The metallic smell of blood hits her nostrils and she gags on it in all of her agony.

She dazedly watches the Jaeger land the final blows to the Kaiju that was supposed to kill her. Listens to its dying roars with a mixture of instinctual relief and conscious jealousy. The beast finally lies down dead and the Jaeger’s head turns in her direction. It begins to approach her and she takes the time to really look at it. The familiar black and lime green paint, the emblem of a jaguar with bright yellow eyes stamped on the chest; it’s Aizawa’s and Yamada’s Jaeger.

The massive robot finally reaches her, its towering figure bending over to gently pick her up with one hand. The metal giant brings its hand up to the glass window where its eyes would be. The glass panel slides open and Azusa meets the dark eyes of the man she looks up to the most in her life.

“I’ll keep us steady, you go grab her, Shota!” Yamada calls out as he hits various switches and buttons.

Aizawa is quick to disengage from his harness, rushing over to scoop Azusa up into his arms, uncaring of her blood getting all over his suit. He brings her over to a corner of the Conn-Pod and carefully straps her to a spine board, worry filling his usually tired features.

“What were you even doing out here, kid?” He quietly asks, not really looking for an answer but getting one anyway.

“I just wanted to see Toya again..” Azusa brokenly whispers out just before the severity of her injuries catches up to her and she passes out.

Gasping like she couldn’t breathe the whole time, Azusa crashes back to reality. In a daze still, she disengages from her harness, swaying as her body threatens to give out on her. Her legs shake, then her knees buckle but before her body can hit the floor two strong arms catch her. Hands come up to rip off her helmet and she gulps in all the oxygen she can.

“Guess we’re even now, huh Princess?” Bakugo rasps out quietly from beside her and it’s then that Azusa registers the shouting through the Comms and the various alarms blaring.

“S-sorry,” Azusa whispers, leaning all of her weight against Bakugo.

“Don’t be.” The blonde states quietly instead of spitting out something snarky.

The doors to the Conn-Pod suddenly open causing Bakugo to jerk away from Azusa a bit. Without thinking, one of Azusa’s hands shoots out to grasp Bakugo’s arm, the fear of being left alone overriding her distaste for the blonde.

Footsteps approach the pair and Azusa instantly knows who it is, “Rangers, are you okay? Todoroki, can you stand?” Marshal Aizawa’s voice fills the newfound silence of the Conn-Pod.

“I’m fine,” Azusa says as Bakugo helps her stand. As soon as she’s up she steps away from him despite being shaky on her feet.

Bakugo sends her a confused look before fixing his features back to his usual look of annoyed disinterest, “Yeah, I’m good.”

Aizawa sends a weary glance to Azusa before sighing, “Okay, good. Both of you head back to your bunks, we’re done for the day. I’ll let Marshal Todoroki know what happened.” He states, sending Azusa a brief apologetic glance before turning to walk out of the Conn-Pod.

Bakugo turns slightly to look at Azusa, the scars on the right side of her face more noticeable than they were before. The rest of the memory plays through his head; Azusa waking up in the Hospital Bay, her mother and siblings being sent out of the room, and her father screaming at her for the next hour. Phantom feelings of emotional pain linger in his chest and it makes him grind his teeth.

“You sure you’re fine?” Bakugo asks with feigned disinterest despite his unwelcomed and genuine concern.

“Don’t worry about it, Bakugo. Forget that you saw anything.” Azusa says tiredly as she moves past him to leave the Conn-Pod, refusing to meet his eye at any point.

Note ~ So, while I am still working on this fic, I want to write some more xReader one or two-parters so hit up that ask button, Lovelies! Drop a comment telling me how you're liking the story so far or if I missed any typos or if I need to add any more tags! Much love and appreciation, Lovelies! <3

Taglist ~ @tomiokasecretlover

The Greatest | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Part One | Part Two

Tags/Warnings ~ angst, hurt no comfort, talks of death, grieving, let me know if I should tag anything else..

Note ~ Alrighty Lovelies, here is part two with Bakugo's and Hatsume's reactions. I might do another part with Uraraka's and other's reactions, but at this time I don't have a feel for writing the requested characters yet except for maybe Midoriya.. I'll try my best to write something out, I just want it to be good enough for you all.. Anyway, enjoy the read <3

Katsuki can feel the burn of stomach bile sitting at the back of his throat, his stomach churning painfully with insurmountable guilt, regret, and self-blame. His eyes stare unblinking at your closed casket, the muffled and distant sound of your parents crying next to him echoing in his ears. They don’t know that he’s the real reason why there couldn’t be an open-casket service.. They don’t know that he’s the real reason why there’s a funeral service being held for you in the first place.. They don’t know that he’s nothing but a bastard who didn’t deserve their daughter.

Flashbacks to the day you ended your life fill Katsuki’s vision when he dissociates as he continues staring at your casket. Day and night, awake and asleep, it all haunted him; the horrible images, the echoing screams, the nauseating smell of blood.. He had been a few minutes too late. He had just gotten out of his haphazardly parked car, panicked and intent on racing up to the apartment you shared with him, when he saw the growing crowd of horrified bystanders. Everything seemed to drain from Katsuki’s body the moment he saw them, and he numbly made his way over to the side of the building where they were gathering.

A few people were crying, a couple were vomiting off to the side, and someone wouldn’t stop screaming. Everything had felt surreal, like it was a terrible nightmare, as Katsuki moved past people to get to you. When he had gotten to the front of the crowd, all of the bystanders moving back and believing that Pro Hero Dynamight was there to help somehow, Katsuki just froze. He just watched with numb disbelief as an elderly woman laid a handkerchief over your face and whispered a prayer for you. He spent a moment or two convincing himself that the broken body in front of him wasn’t you until he saw the bracelet he’d given you for your birthday sitting on your blood spattered arm.

That was when he had lost it, when every emotion had hit him all at once. Pictures and videos from that day haunt him just as much as the memories. The moment he fell to his knees with tears dripping down his face and mouth open in a silent scream. The moment he had to turn away so as to not vomit on or near your body. The moment he sat on the bloody ground next to your body and held your cold, dead hand until the police got there. Even the video of Izuku and Kirishima pulling Katsuki away from your body as paramedics zipped you up in a body bag still circulated his social media feeds as much as it had when it was first posted.

But he deserved to be reminded of that day, didn’t he? The way he sees it is that he’s practically the one who pushed you off of that roof. If he hadn’t started seeing Ochaco again behind your back, then maybe he could have the woman he actually loves in his arms again. He still can’t find a good excuse for why he started sleeping with Ochaco. She had been a lot of firsts for Katsuki; first relationship, first kiss, first time sleeping with someone.. Sure, he had heard that it’s hard for people to truly let go of the person who they shared “firsts” with, so maybe that’s why he slept with her. Even with all of the firsts he shared with Ochaco he didn’t feel for her what he felt for you, he didn’t love her.

But his shitty excuses or vows to continue loving you even though you’re gone will never clear him of being a lying, cheating bastard. If he could have just one more chance to start over and be a better man, not that he would deserve it, but you deserved so much more from life. You deserved to do the things you loved. You deserved good times with friends and family. You deserved to be loved by someone light-years better than Katsuki will ever be. You deserved brighter days lived without the silent pain and suffering.

Looking around at every single person that showed up to mourn the loss of your beautiful presence, Katsuki knows. Listening to your family, Hatsume, and others speak about you and the happiness you brought into their lives, Katsuki knows. Standing up in front of everybody suppressing the urge to vomit up his guilt and stuttering through his own final words to and about you, Katsuki knows..

You truly were the greatest.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a known fact since that almost nothing could pull Mei Hatsume away from her work. Not people, not basic human necessities, not even the fear of war. Her drive was incomparable to anything most have ever seen before. It concerned most people, but then there was you. Yes, you were concerned for the pink-haired girl’s well-being, ever since the day you two had become friends. But you were the only one willing to stay right by Mei’s side providing support, sustenance, and help when needed. Even if you two didn’t talk very much during times when either of you were so focused on a project, there was still a blanket of comforting silence.

All of that is gone, now.

Being able to bounce ideas off of each other, gone. Having you stop by the shop to check on her and bring her food, gone. Sleepovers spent watching inventor documentaries all night, gone. The rare lunch break spent at yours and Mei’s favorite cafe, gone. The only person that’s ever felt like a sister to Mei, gone. Gonegonegonegonegonegone- everything is just fucking gone!

Mei has never felt so empty, so coldly numb, before in her life. She’s sitting by your parents, and every sound is muted like her head is underwater. She stares at your coffin, numbly unaware of the tears flowing down her face. It feels like her Quirk is active, her field of vision filled with what may or may not be the zoomed in view of your glossy black casket, and nausea tugs at her stomach. The heavily weighted emotions that came with the news of your death try to break through her numbness, and makes her skin crawl.

She’s moved through every stage of grief a million times over by now, her mind unable to comprehend that you’re just gone. There’s a constant back and forth within her brain of “how could she have not noticed your pain” and “you never showed your pain” with a bit of the fact that Mei knows that she buries herself in her work. She doesn’t know if her guilt is justified or not. The occasional glance at Bakugo and seeing him practically drowning in guilt and regret does and doesn’t help with justifying her own feelings. Mei was your best friend long before Bakugo was your boyfriend, she should have known you were struggling.

The day you died, Mei hadn’t even known that you, or anyone else, had tried to get a hold of her until damn near 1 AM when she finally left the workshop. She had grabbed her stuff from her office and dug her nearly dead phone out of her bag with a tired but accomplished smile on her face. She has always been used to having tons of notifications clouding her phone screen, with the way she worked herself, it was normal. So, she had made her way through the agency building humming and navigating through her phone to get to her voicemail. One from you; normal. A few from Izuku; not entirely out of the norm for when he had a new idea for gear or when he was being Mr. Caring Boyfriend. One from your parents.. that was the one that caused an uneasy feeling to churn in her stomach. Because as much as your parents loved Mei and vice versa, phone calls were rarely ever exchanged.

Mei listened to your voicemail first. Listening to how broken you sounded, that was the start of her world shattering around her. Then she listened to the voicemail your parents left. The gut-punch that the word “gone” had delivered knocked the breath from her lungs, and she could barely make out the tear-filled apologies spoken by your mother. By the time Mei finally got to Izuku’s voicemails, she was on her knees in the lobby of the agency, sobbing. She still isn’t sure how managed to call Izuku with the state she was in, all she could do was break.

Now, she’s here; standing in front of a crowd of your family and friends. Your lifeless body lying in the glossy black casket behind her. A tear-stained, wrinkled piece of paper held in her trembling hands as she musters up the will to speak. She eyes looks from Bakugo’s guilt-ridden face to your parents’ tear-soaked ones, then to Izuku’s sad but encouraging face. With a nod and a shaky breath, Mei glances down at the tear-blurred words on the paper..

“Y-Y/N is-was.. sh-she was tr-truly the gre-greatest..”

Note ~ Also, please forgive that this is for the most part unedited, and I didn't run it through grammarly.. I love and appreciate every single one of you, and I'm sorry that I've been lacking lately. Just keep being amazing and bearing with me, Lovelies. <3

The Greatest | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

The Ask/Inspo for this fic can be found in this post.

TRIGGER WARNING - !!SUICIDE!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD STATE OF MIND AND PLEASE REACH OUT TO SOMEBODY IF YOU NEED HELP! YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU DO MATTER!

Additional Tags ~ Fem!Reader, cheating, bad mental health, HEAVY ANGST, hurt no comfort, mentions of blood, Idk let me know if I should add other tags..

Being in love with and loving Katsuki hasn’t always been easy. He can be loud, brash, and uncaring of hurting one’s feelings. Sure, he’s matured over the few years it’s been since graduating from UA, but he’s still rough around the edges. Even so, his personality didn’t scare you away back then at UA, and it surely doesn’t now.

When you first met Katsuki, you were a Support Course student. You were in the top three for your class, and just as ambitious as Mei Hatsume. Though you were far more tame than the pink-haired girl, the two of you became very close friends. You were, and still are, the hidden crazy to Mei’s in-your-face crazy. Your friendship with her along with her oblivious, borderline ditzy way of going about things were the driving reasons behind you almost asking her to swap who you’d been assigned with from Hero Course 1-A.

As it had turned out, swapping wasn’t allowed, so you had been stuck with making and fixing support gear for UA’s most explosive student. There was a lot of clashing of personalities at the start of your partnership, but after proving yourself to him, he managed to tone his attitude down some. Not long after he had managed to get over himself, there were a lot of after-school costume discussions. As well as many times Katsuki just silently and intently watched you work on his gauntlets, observing and learning what he could fix himself. Naturally, after all that time spent together, you couldn’t help but fall for him at least a little bit.

Unfortunately, you never had the guts to say anything to him, plus you realized just how focused he was on being a hero. Then graduation came and you both went your separate ways, your previous partnership nothing more than a school assignment. That happened with nearly all of the other partnerships between the Hero Course and the Support Course. You were just sad that you hadn’t gotten to see Katsuki one last time, to wish him well or tell him you enjoyed working with him or something..

~~~~~~~~~~

As the years went by after graduation, you worked your way through different levels of Support Gear Engineering with a decently known company. You weren’t surprised when Mei was able to get her own company up and running in that time. It also wasn’t a surprise when Mei asked you to come work for her. You agreed in a heartbeat and not long after, Mei signed a contract with DynaDeku Agency. Suddenly, you were seeing Katsuki almost every other day versus the rare night out that Mei would drag you to with Deku and his friends. But seeing him more only worsened your.. pining.

Conversations were always work-related, never anything more than talks of new gear or upgrades to current gear. It’s not like you never tried to push for a more casual conversation. But every ‘How’s your day going’ was met with a silent and questioning glare. You hid your feelings of hurt and rejection with warm smiles every time.

You kept your admiration to yourself. You cheered Katsuki on from the sidelines like you were nothing more than any of his other fans he’d never met. But you longed for him to see you as more than ‘that one support chick’ as he so eloquently referred to you as more often than not. You longed for him to see you. Instead, you watched as he took his sights off of his hero career for a moment just to look toward his fellow hero, Uravity.

In the short time that they were together, you had thought that they had made an odd couple. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you just felt like they weren’t very right for each other. The feeling wasn’t entirely from a place of jealousy, you’d honestly thought you maybe wouldn’t fit any better with him, despite your feelings for him. There was just something about them being together that hadn’t made a whole lot of sense to you.

You’d figured that they must have discovered what it was because just a few months after they announced their relationship to friends, they broke up. Neither of them was all that torn up about it, which you had found odd, at least when it came to Uraraka. The pink-cheeked woman hadn’t been the mess that you’d thought she’d be considering how borderline clingy she had been with Katsuki. Instead, whenever you saw her at nights out with everyone, she was smiling and bubbly like nothing ever happened.

You didn’t waste any real time picking apart either hers or Katsuki’s behaviors, though. It wasn’t any of your business, and quite frankly, you didn’t care about how Uraraka moved on with her life. In all honesty, a secret part of you was just happy to once again have the chance to try to put yourself on Katsuki’s radar. You had mustered up all of your courage and confidence to put yourself out there a little bit more. It felt like it had taken forever, but finally, your efforts were noticed. The day Katsuki asked you out to dinner was so surreal that you couldn’t believe that it wasn’t just a dream.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a little over seven months since that first date. At the start of your relationship, things were a bit awkward but fun and quite surprising. You were secretly shocked to find out just how sweet Katsuki can be in his own way. You’d learned that he speaks through actions, and not so much through words. You’d learned that behind closed doors, he’s calm and gentle and caring.

Those first few months were full of enough sappy moments to make even Cupid sick to his stomach. There were nights of home-cooked meals made by Katsuki’s very talented hands. Rare coinciding days off from work were spent watching movies and cuddling. Passionate moments of heated kisses and love-making. It used to make your head spin just how loving Katsuki could be. But every couple moves out of the honeymoon phase and learns something more about each other.

What’s the thing you’ve learned within the last three months? Katsuki Bakugo is a fucking liar.

That warm, loving, cared-for feeling that used to spread through your chest has grown cold. You’ve gotten good at faking it though, plastering a loving smile on your face when you’re with him. Feigning that warm tone whenever you tell him that you love him. It’s not that you don’t, not that you’ve stopped loving him.. It’s just gotten hard to say those three stupid words since that first lie slid so easily off of his tongue.

You suppose that you could say that you’ve also learned that with all of his smarts, Katsuki is fucking stupid. It seems that in the years since being partners at UA, your loving boyfriend has forgotten what your Quirk is and what it does.. Because you can’t imagine that he would be doing what he’s doing with that kind of knowledge at the forefront of his brain.

Your Quirk is called Polygraph. Whenever somebody lies to you, your Quirk will automatically activate, resulting in a spike in your heart rate. It’s the kind of Quirk you know would have been useful in police work, but you’ve always had a love for inventing things. Your Uncle Naomasa still tries to get you to switch careers, despite the name you’ve made for yourself in the Support Engineering world.

One would think that with Katsuki having to work with the police, mainly Detective Naomasa Tsukauchi, that he would remember a detail such as your Quirk. Or how about the fact that most boyfriends remember their girlfriend’s fucking Quirk, flashy or not?? But with every lie that comes out of his mouth about where he’s going or who he’s hanging out with or who is fucking texting him, it’s painfully apparent that he doesn’t. He just speaks and you have to ignore the spike in your heart rate and paint on an oblivious smile.

~~~~~~~~~~

You feel almost numb when Katsuki kisses you goodbye. He tells you that he’ll have to stay late at the office to do some paperwork and your heart rate spikes at the lie. You fake a pout as you nod, and he sends you a smirk.

“Promise to make it up to you, so wipe that sexy lil pout off your face. C’mere,” he says, making your stomach churn unpleasantly, before pulling you into a hug.

“Be safe out there,” you murmur against him, and you mean it despite knowing that he isn’t being truthful about staying out late.

“Always am, Sweetheart. Enjoy your day off, ‘kay? Love you.” He murmurs back before kissing your forehead, and you bite back nausea as you tell him you love him. As you watch him leave, you ask yourself for the billionth time how isn’t he lying about loving you when he’s doing something that would make it so obvious that he doesn’t even care about you.

You wait your usual 30 minutes to an hour after he leaves, making sure that he doesn’t come back because he forgot something, before grabbing your laptop. You sit back down on the couch with the device in your lap and numbly navigate to the locked file you have hidden away. You click on it, enter the password, and then pull up the contents of the file. You stare at the hundreds of screenshots you’ve collected over the last three months of conversations and photos, nearly emotionless. After a couple of moments, when you start to feel the sting of tears welling up in your eyes, you open your web browser. You sign into the secret email you created when you first started gathering evidence of Katsuki’s infidelity. Once you’ve signed in, you make quick work of adding the most recent screenshots you’ve gotten to the file.

The heartbreaking shock of discovering that it’s Uraraka that Katsuki has been seeing behind your back has long since worn off. The whole damn situation has just become some sick kind of surreal. You’ve repeated her name so much in your mind that it doesn’t even seem like a real name anymore. You’ve read so many dirty messages between the two of them that the rage has turned to cold numbness. You’ve seen both of their nudes so many times by now that Uraraka’s bare body doesn’t bring up the repulsion you once felt. It all just makes you feel so far past hurt that all you can truly feel is numb.

You watch as the screenshots load into the file, your eyes blankly scanning over words until your gaze catches. You stare at a specific message you hadn’t noticed when you’d gone through Katsuki’s phone to collect more evidence. A single line standing out from the rest of Uraraka’s messages to your boyfriend;

“I still love you, Kats..”

That single line throws you over the edge you were teetering on. You practically throw your laptop onto the couch cushions as you rush to get up. You barely make it to the bathroom, crashing to your knees in front of the toilet as you vomit. Tears stream down your face as your body tries to expel everything inside of you. Your nose runs as your throat burns, and you dry heave a few times as sobs rip from your chest. You wipe your mouth and nose with toilet paper, then shift to sit against the bathtub. Loud, painful, and anguished sobs echo off of the bathroom walls. You don’t even know what Katsuki had said in response to her confession, but you don’t need to know. The fact that he’s still sneaking off to sleep with her is telling enough. Stomach acid burns at your throat again as the message flashes behind your tightly screwed eyelids, and you heave into the toilet once more.

When you finally feel like there’s nothing more for your stomach to expel, you wipe your face. The tears and sobs continue relentlessly as you stand, flush the toilet, then make your way to the sink. You rinse your mouth out, the minty mouthwash burning more than usual before you spit it out. As you straighten back up, wiping your mouth on the hand towel, you lock eyes with your disheveled reflection. Suddenly, you’re seeing red as all of your rage floods your mind and body. A scream tears from your throat as your fist flies into the mirror, shattering it. Your mind clears a bit as you stare down at the shattered glass. Your now bleeding hand looks like it should hurt, but you don’t feel the split knuckles or cuts from the glass. All you can feel is the emotional turmoil that’s consumed your very being.

You make your way back to the living room, leaving the mess of glass and blood in the sink. You stumble the whole way back to the couch, tripping over your feet and your knees giving out from how hard you’re sobbing. You practically fall onto the couch, grabbing your phone off of the coffee table, uncaring of the blood you’re getting on the device. With shaking hands, you unlock your phone, navigating through your contacts while half-blind from tears. You hit the call icon as soon as you reach the contact you’ve been searching for.

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease-” You mutter, you pray, between sobs as the line rings.

“Too busy with my babies! Leave a message I may or may not listen to!” Mei’s voicemail message chirps brightly into your ear, and a whining sob leaves your throat as the beep rings out and cues you to leave a message.

“I-I Lo-love y-you, M-Mei.. P-pl-please, al-ways re-remember th-that..” You stutter and sob out before hanging up and burying your face in your hands.

After a few moments of soaking your hands in tears, you bring your head up. With closed eyes, you roll your shoulders back, wipe your hands on your pants, and try to take deep and even breaths. Only once you’ve regained some sense of calm and control over yourself, do you open your eyes. You let your mind sink back into that comfortable numb you’ve grown acquainted with over time. You stand up from the couch and almost robotically, you head for the storage closet. It takes a bit of digging through boxes, but you finally find them.. Letters to your closest family members and friends.

The letters are abandoned products of your deepest, darkest secret. You have been struggling for years now. To everyone around you, even your parents, you’re kind and happy and kind of shy and stable.. But the you in the mirror knows about every single self-deprecating, withering, hatred-filled thought. Something in your mind is broken, always had been, but it never needed to be anyone else’s problem. You are the only one who has ever needed to worry about the fact that you’ve had one foot hanging off of the edge. Besides, you’re the only one who can keep yourself from giving in to the call of an unseen dark abyss, its voice warm and holding promises of relief.

You carefully lay the letters out on the kitchen table. You grab your laptop from the couch and place it neatly on the table. You pause for a moment and look down at yourself. You make your way to the bedroom and change into your favorite outfit because fuck that if you were going to die in your damn pajamas.

You make your way back to the table and unconsciously go through the steps of sending the file of evidence you’ve collected to Katsuki and Uraraka. You contemplate sending the file to your shared friends for one spite-filled moment, but ultimately decide against it. You set your laptop settings to stay on and unlocked, plug the charger into it, and pull up the note that has passwords to all of your various accounts. Who knows what people might need when you’re gone?

With one last painful glance around the apartment, you head for the door. You slip on your favorite pair of shoes and leave the apartment. You make your way to the roof of the complex, which is a far easier task than you feel like it should have been. You walk to the edge and take off your shoes, placing them neatly off to the side. Climbing up onto the ledge, the wind blows lightly and it actually feels exhilarating as you fully stand up. You startle when your phone begins ringing, and you can’t recall when you slipped it into your pocket. Taking it out, a small bout of manic laughter leaves your lips at the caller ID. When you slide the accept icon, a streak of blood follows. Apparently, your hand hasn’t stopped bleeding and that makes you laugh harder for some reason.

“Hey Love, what’s-” You begin deliriously before being cut off.

“What’s with this email, Sweetheart? H-how did you..” Katsuki with an uncharacteristic quietness to his voice, with feigned confusion to cover the guilt.

Every emotion drains from you in an instant and your grip on your phone tightens, “Don’t play dumb, Katsuki. Everything in that email came directly from your phone.” You say in a tone so cold and emotionless that it makes Katsuki take in a sharp breath, and at the sound, you feel a dulled flicker of pride at catching him off guard.

“Baby-” he starts with a slight shake in his voice, but all the pet name does is make you see red all over again.

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT WHEN YOU CALL HER THAT TOO!” You scream, and your voice echoes off of the structures around you.

A strangled sort of half laugh, half sob leaves your mouth, and you screw your eyes shut, “Oh my, sorry for yelling.. Uhm, you asked ‘how’ earlier, and I assume you meant to ask fully how I found out. Well, I’ve known that you’ve been seeing her since that first lie you told months ago. It’s sort of crazy to think that for as long as we’ve known each other, you’ve seemed to have forgotten what my Quirk is, Love.” From even-toned to words bathed in malice, your rage and pain-fueled instability makes even you dizzy.

“..Y/N, please.. I.. I love you..” Katsuki says, and your manic laughter returns from how pathetic he sounds.

“It still baffles me that somehow that isn’t a fucking lie, too! You wanna know something, Katsuki? For years, I admired and adored you. For years, I waited for you to want me too! Then, when you finally did want me, I gave you all of my love! I made it all look fucking painless! The unappreciation! The wanting of someone who couldn’t even be bothered to remember my fucking name most of the time! The suffering through my darkest thoughts! Life has put me through so much shit, but fuck it if I wasn’t the fucking greatest!!” You’re breathless by the end of your spiel, more manic laughter mixing with your anguished sobs. The sound of a car honking below you makes you jolt, and you choke on a sharp gasp as your balance goes off-kilter for a moment.

“Y/N, where the fuck are you right now?! I’m on my way home, just-” Katsuki rushes out, and you become conscious of the sound of his car engine revving in the background of the call.

“Tell everyone that I’m sorry and that I love them. I love you, Katsuki Bakugo. Goodbye.” You say with an eerie and quiet calm, and as you bring the phone down from your ear you can hear him screaming until you hang up.

You turn slightly to drop your phone onto your shoes, then turn back to look out over the city. ‘Such a beautiful view..’ You think with a small smile as you let your body tip forward. You close your eyes as you fall, the sound of air rushing past you thundering in your ears. It feels like you’re falling for seconds and decades before everything goes black.

You feel nothing..

No more pain..

No more suffering..

Just the soothing warmth of the black abyss that’s been calling your name for so long.

Note ~ Thank you to the Lovely Anon who sent in the ask, I'm sorry that I got so dark with this one.. Please make sure that you're taking care of yourselves, Lovelies. And if you feel like no one else does, just know that I love and appreciate you. <3

Divider Credit: @anitalenia

This is why writers abandon stories. It’s not that we don’t love them, it’s because we don’t want to love them alone.

Heyyy girlie ❤️, when do you think you'll do a pt 2 for the greatest?

Heyy Lovely 🫶🏻, I'm hoping it'll be soon. I've started on it, but my relentless writers block keeps making its presence known😅

I'm also out of town rn for a celebration of life for a close family friend, and I won't be back home until Tuesday or Wednesday..

But I will get it out to yall soon, just bear with me, Lovely🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻