Imagine Youre Some Little Evil Woman Sitting In Hades Throne Room When Orpheus Walks In To Make A Deal
Imagine you’re some little evil woman sitting in Hades’ throne room when Orpheus walks in to make a deal to get Eurydice back, and Hades is like “yeah ok, just don’t look back otherwise she has to stay here” then walks out of the room. Almost immediately after hearing the conditions, Orpheus breaks his own neck so that it is physically impossible for him to turn it, and then demands that you gouge out his eyes for good measure. Eurydice then gets really upset because she’s convinced this is a sign that Orpheus hates her and never wants to see her again, and Orpheus is completely convinced that this was a normal and logical thing to do.
You are literally the only person in the universe who recognizes this as an act of love. They both then insult you to your face for thinking this is anything other than very normal (Orpheus), or petty hatred (Eurydice).
You are Ianthe Tridentarius.
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More Posts from Giraffewithhumanhands
Wait so after all the John flashbacks when does Harrow realize that John Gaius ascended into godhood at the sacrifice of 10 billion people and an immortal (it’s the fucking planet man it’s 4.5 billion years older and only getting older) and then consumed its soul as the cherry on the divine necropie yeah?
And Harrow herself was born from the sacrifice of 200 people and achieved lyctorhood at the death of a immortal being (Gideon can regenerate and came back at least a dozen or more deaths making her nigh-immortal if not immortal until proven otherwise, by the time she impaled herself)
like we get it--Harrow is meant to mirror Jod but like I think she's going all the way like she did necromancy in the river THE FIRST TIME SHE WAS EVER IN THE RIVER AND SHE WAS A TEENAGER
Harrow’s even more of a baby god than the lyctors. Like the lectors are demigods, but Harrow really is a baby god.
Still thinking about none houses left grief, and while I understand where people are coming from, "it took me out of the world" is just... Really not a relevant criticism here. Like, that line is SUPPOSED to be jarring. It is supposed to be kind of darkly funny, but the point isnt for you to laugh. Its not trying to be a punchline. The point of that line IS to "take you out of the world" because the point is that *this world isn't what you thought it was.*


just realizing now that this isn’t just a joke about Nona being six months old. of course she finds flowers sexy. of course the embodied collective soul of the earth thinks the sex organs of plants are sexy. oh my god
Round 5, Match 7: Jawbone O’Shaughnessey vs. Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn


Art for Abigail and Magnus here (done by @ancientannoyance)
Submitted kids:
Jawbone O’Shaughnessey: Tracker O'Shaughnessey, Adaine Abernant, Fig Faeth, Kristen Applebees
Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn: Jeannemary Chatur, Isaac Tettares, They also end up as parental figures for Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Gideon Nav
Propaganda under the cut!
Jawbone O’Shaughnessey:
1. “A lot of the main characters of this story have shit parents, and Jawbone, formerly a drug dealer and bouncer turned high school counselor happily opened his home to all of them.”
2. “He's a former druggie that the intrepid heroes met at a club during an investigation. Instead of fighting him, they offered him a job as guidance counselor at their school. He took the job and, after a bit, began dating fig's mom. Kristen was dating his niece, who lived with him at the time. During the final battle with Kalvaxus, he helped Adaine work through a panic attack and gave her anxiety meds. Those meds have a mechanical advantage too, as she would roll for panic attacks. As mentioned in the notes for this post, he makes a pretty incredible speech. Anyways, Adaine's parents abandon her soon after and jawbone offers her a place to stay, along with Kristen (who moved in with tracker), Fig (who moved in with her mom), and the Barkrocks (who they're sharing the house with). Zayn Darkshadow also lives in the cemetery at Mordred Manor, and they took in Aelwyn before she got herself an apartment. So he does a lot.”
3. “Jawbone O'Shaunessy is the single best parental figure in those kids lives.
They rescued him from a bad spot, and time and time again he proved that he was willing to be the stable figure when nobody else was there for them.
Adaine, his officially adopted daughter, has panic attacks throughout the whole first season. During the big final battle, when she's inflicted with the dnd "fear" condition, causing a panic attack, he arrives just in time to help save her from running away fully. When Adaine's parents abandoned her and never gave her treatment for her condition, he's the one who really sees her. He says his famous line "You are not a coward- you have a goddamn medical condition, okay?" He's the first person to give her meds to help, and she's able to get back in the fight because of him. (If somebody else has the whole clip please reblog with it, it definately needs to be part of the propoganda).
He also says "You're easy to love, and anybody who couldn't figure it out is a real bozo." to Adaine in a different conversation”
Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn:
1. “Okay so that may not look like many kids but the thing is that they arrive at this cursed ass house with their too adopted-ish kids, Isaac and Jeannemary. then Magnus meets Gideon, and is like the only person actually trying to talk to her and show her (it might not look like much mut it's the biggest anyone's ever done for Gideon). Sadly she and Gideon actually never gwt to talk because Gideon has a vow of silence. Anyways then they have a wedding anniversary (nice) which unfortunately ends with both of them being pushed down a fuckass long ladder and dying.
BUT they come back in the next book! AS GHOSTS INSIDE HARROW'S MIND and then they adopt her in there before dying again (also they solve a mystery and are good at it)
YEAH AND ABIGAIL CAN SUMMON GHOSTS
manifesting for them to come back again in the fourth book so they can adopt more kids and die again”
2. “Abigail seeing harrow, gideon, and the terrible teens: "I choose you!"”