Spouting Facts Here

Spouting facts here

all fanfiction is funnier and sexier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. that’s just how it works. that’s just facts.

That cat is our child, his name is Loki, don't ask me why

[7:36]

you moved slyly between your sheets, groaning as you heard knocks on your doorm.

it’s fucking seven am.

“baby…” you heard jordan’s voice hissing. well that changes things.

you quickly stood up to open the door, finding a really tired looking jordan with their big gym bag, you could tell by their wet hair that they just came back from it, as they just took a shower.

they looked so clean, so put together, the smell of their cologne came to you directly. you step a side as they entered to your dorm, smiling.

“you could’ve told me you were coming, look at myself.” you attempted to pout, between chuckles as jordan threw their bag and grabbed you by your waist.

your hair was messy, really messy, and your pijamas were nothing fancy, just old jordan’s clothes who were comfortable as fuck.

“oh shut up, you look fucking cute right now. you look so much better in my clothes anyways.” they smirked, caressing your neck as they put kisses all over your face.

“yea, sure i do.” you threw yourself on the bed as you took their hands, making them follow you. “how was your workout?” you said now laying on top of them, both playing with your hands a little, like you were fighting.

“it was pretty good, just feeling a little sore and…” jordan’s face shut down, frowning their brows as they sat on the bed with you on top of them still, being closer to you. “(Y/N)? what is this? what happened to you? did somebody hurt you? i swear to fucking god.” they spoke quickly as their fingertips ran through one recent scar you just got on your neck.

“uh, i don’t…” you looked down to your neck, forgetting completely about the scar your cat made you when you were playing.

“who fucking did this?” they said again, removing piece of your hair to see your neck better, clearly worried.

“oh, i just remembered, last night i went to visit my parents and my cat, as i told you, we were playing and he made me this.” you chuckled a little, looking at jordan and their whole face chilled out.

“that freaking cat, i almost lose my shit for a minute.” they hide their face between their hands, laying again at the bed, you laughed.

“don’t talk like that about our son.” you attempted to tickle them.

“my bad, my bad.” jordan put their both hands on the hair, giggling this time.

I legit cried real tears because I'll never have them in real life.

I can't stop thinking about Jordan's big cow eyes, imagine the way they look at you as they're eating you out, they'll do it just to tease you..

Or maybe you are on top and they would say something like "Eyes on me pretty girl"

what if i go insane !!

biting my fist at the thought of big puppy eyes watching your every reaction as they lick through your folds to get to your wet slit. the moment it gets too much for you and you close your eyes or turn your head, they pull back and say "look at me." and how can you say no? even if the sight is so overwhelming it makes tears prick your eyes you dont look away from them again. eyes pinned by them as they kiss and suck on your little clit, bump their nose into it as they move lower to tongue fuck your wet hole. hands gripping your ass to pull you closer to feed themselves your cunt, because they know how to gorge on a proper meal and the meal between your legs is their favorite one to sit down for. they never stop at you coming once, they need it twice at least, prompt "you can give me another. you're going to give me another." kisses your inner thigh - trembling - when they feel you soak their fingers pumping sticky and wet into your gushing cunt. "such a good girl. you're so fucking pretty, baby."

These headcanons make my days, the Jordan fanfiction and the show in general is the only things making me work my way through my first semester of college. It needed to be said.

think jordan smells sharp and clean, maybe slightly floral if they're in their fem form and some expensive cologne in their guy one. sometimes they go for an overall androgynous scent like leather n musk but whatever it is that day it makes you want to curl under their arm and burrow because it makes your head dizzy. and their breath is always spearmint from the gum they chew, cool and crisp on their tongue when they slip it into your mouth. mm.

Reader, sat at an outdoor table with Luke, Cate and Andre : I don't love them anymore ! They're mean and sadistic and-

Luke, laughing a bit : Did Jordan force you to go to bed at nine again ?

Jordan, yelling from where reader put them on a group ban : You need a proper sleeping schedule !

Reader : I'll have you know my sleeping schedule is still better than yours, Jordan -I'm sweating coke and sleeping two hours a nigh- Li !

Andre, whispering to Cate : I don't know about you, but this is incredibly entertaining to me, like some sort of telenovela.

Reader : Don't get me started on you, Andre Anderson, now is not the time to laugh because I could talk hours and hours about why you're one of the reasons I don't sleep enough !

Andre : That's so not true.

Reader : Cate, do you remember who spent nights after nights sleeplessly walking this bitch through his midterms studying ?

Luke, patting Andre on the shoulder : Yeah, they've got a point.

Jordan, annoyed (but somehow whipped enough to stay on shadowban until you tell them to come back) : Can I come back now ?

Reader, thinking a bit :... Yeah I want hugs.

Queue Jordan spending the afternoon with reader attached to them like a koala.

I would fold. Straight up die.

jordan gets a kind of glee out of corrupting sweet girls who follow him into dark corners only to leave wobbly legged and flushed with jordan stepping out from behind them, licking her fingers clean.