He May Be Sitting Right There In The Flesh. He May Be A Tangible Being Whose Fingers Lock Between The

He may be sitting right there in the flesh. He may be a tangible being whose fingers lock between the spaces of my own, but you have my heart in your hands and therefore my mind is forever wrapped around your life. Where you are - not here. Who you're with - not with me. Affection with him right here, right now means nothing when my heart and my mind are a million miles away.  Your absence will always weigh heavier than his presence.

GPOY Disney Princess Version

Adele - He Won't Go

From the outside looking in love is ideal. The lenses of spectators zoom in on a seemingly radiating union. They idolize what you have, envy and admire the indescribable happiness which seems to bind you to your significant other. Their ears pick up the sweet nothings being whispered. Yet those lenses are marred with ignorance and their ears cannot pick up the stifled decibels of tension.  Those on the outside don't know that with each second, each passing moment your hands are slowly losing grip on the dreams - no, the illusions you had of love. The hopes of eternal bliss and happily ever afters slowly begin to dissipate. Did you never learn that the story doesn't end because the last page has turned? What happens to the prince and princess after they ride off into the sunset? Well young one, that's where their story begins. Now they both have a demon to face, a beast which threatens to murder the very love they spent the first half of their story trying to create. Well, why not interweave fingers and run off together? Why can't they simply find strength in the hands of their beloved and escape the demon? Because that demon is the very product of their union, feeding off the illusions of what they once thought love was, and well, that demon resides in the other. Every mistake they make, every fight they pick, every insult they scream is just another vision of that beast rearing its ugly head and showing you that love is far from fairy tale. There is no 'happily ever after' because there is no after. There is only right now, where the war to save what you once set out to capture is constantly being fought and the battlegrounds are soaked with tears and struggle. Yes they may vow to be strong and protect you but with that strength comes a journey into the very dangers they are supposed to protect you from. Every relationship is a war, you just need to make sure those you have on your side, your right hand man, will be worth the fight because in the end you've gained nothing but another enemy if they go AWOL.

Why Do You Look Up At The Skies?

There were never any fields hidden away in this town for us to run away to. The best we were ever able to do was the soccer field at our old elementary school. Either way we walked to the center and just sat there picking blades of grass - well I did anyway. You had your head tilted back slightly looking up at the clouds. I always wondered why you stared up at the skies. Your gaze was boundless as your stared at the seemingly interesting space above you. "Have you ever looked up and just wondered how far you were staring?" you asked half-dazed. "Nobody truly knows how large the universe is and considering the fact that it's constantly expanding and there is nothing impeding your view you're essentially staring at infinity." You could've been surrounded by a crowd of people and your words were simply said aloud so your thoughts could be replayed back to you in audio. "They say there are so many things which can destroy us in a matter of seconds. Black holes which go virtually undetected, stars hundreds of thousands of lightyears away which can destroy us before we can even blink, and meteors which can alter our lives forever. So many things occur in that vast expanse of space and it's all happening beyond our view, beyond our comprehension, and yet right before our eyes." Looking at you I wondered if you even remembered I was still there. It seems you searched for something so much more profound in those skies. "I however, have no idea how people can be so caught up in the things that can kill us. Aren't they at all amazed by the fact that in that same universe there is a galaxy of planets that align perfectly, particles which combine beautifully just to sustain our existence? Why focus on potential tragedy when we can appreciate the beauty of what is? We're alive because of those planets in the sky. Sure, so many things can go wrong but there are so many things going right in this universe, all in one galaxy. And it's all right there in front of us. Maybe there's a huge flaw holding us back from being a perfect human race but we don't know it, we can't live that. We only have right now, and what we have is perfect enough. There are just infinite possibilities in the universe, all of which you can't even know yet. It's all just going to unfold and there's nothing you can do but live in it. Truly live in it." You pulled your gaze away from the sky and turned to me with a satisfied smile pulling at your lips. "So I look up to the skies and marvel at all of that, all of which I will never find on this earth."

At that moment all I wanted was to tell you that I found that on this earth. All of what you just said was what you meant to me.

I'm Not Scared...

that we'll meet up in some distant future where you've moved steadily with the time while I've managed to stay perfectly still. In fact I long for those seconds, days, and years which will build upon each other to generate moments of happiness and I only wish the same for you.

What scares me is the very possibility that I will one day find it, only to meet with you at a crossroads, where you've moved on with the seconds and I as well, only to have the years of happy moments torn from me. My life will be seemingly complete until you cross over the threshold into my reality once again, so subtly and discreet but with an impact nonetheless. I'll have my arms around serenity and calm only to realize my true happiness has been far from me for years and has returned for nothing but a brief moment only to leave again, like a drifter who's residence resides somewhere outside of myself. I do not want to move on without you, believing I have found what I can interpret as happiness only to realize that you embodied it the whole time and escaped with it through the winds of time.

The fear isn't you finding your happiness; it's me never finding mine outside of you.

No Love Lost

She gathers her favourite things and lines them up in a row, contemplating which she would like to toy with first. She stares lackadaisically at the jars and then onto the easel and its various colours all lined so beautifully. She picks up the jar and stares at the hearts it encases. She gazes lovingly at the slowly beating vessels amused that someone trusted her to keep it in safe conditions - after she's done the condition of the hearts would be of no consequence. She untwists the cover and looks at each heart, knowing their owners need them and yet allow her to keep it because they believe they hold hers in return. Sadly, their jars are empty. She would never cater to their desires by actually allowing them to keep her heart, or even a piece of it, in their possession. Her fingers trace the shapes from the outer surface of the glass wondering what it is she could possibly do with them now. Getting the heart was the activity, the keeping did not matter. So instead she sets the hearts down and walks over to the easel, its blank surface waiting anxiously. Her work derives not from internal inspiration but rather external events. She strips her conquests bare, removing the masks which hide their vulnerability and revels in their lack of dignity. Her eyes leave no line unseen, no corner unturned. She captures all of their imperfections, the dirtiest and most secret crevices of their being onto the canvas promising them a glimpse of what her judgmental gaze interprets - she never does. Instead she sends them on their way, feeling cheated and ashamed as they walk away with their broken cover and knowing that eyes other than their own have traversed the scariest, most authentic aspect of their being. She would much rather stare lovingly at the canvas for just a quick moment, and then set it aside. The process and product no longer matter to her as she walks away looking for something else to play with.