Heidi2811 - Having A Good Time - Tumblr Blog

Humans are weird: Never prank a Human

Alien: So were you able to get back at the captain?

Alien 2: I don’t want to talk about it…..

Alien: What do you mean?

Alien: Last time you were here you told me that you found out that the human was afraid of “clowns” and had just ordered an outfit to wear and scare him with.

Alien 2: It did not go as planned.

Alien: What; did you not scare them?

Alien 2: Oh I did.

Alien 2: Waited in his quarters and then when he was just about to lay down in bed I jumped out and scared him before running out of the room.

Alien: Alright, mission complete.

Alien 2: I had just made it back to my quarters when the intercom activated and the captain spoke.

Alien 2: *Imitating human captain “All crew, all crew; we have a code clown, repeat, we have a code clown; this is not a drill.”

Alien: Wait, humans have a code for that?

Alien 2: Apparently.

Alien: But aren’t they silly humans wearing makeup and silly clothes.

Alien 2: Nope.

Alien 2: Turns out “Clowns” are intergalactic beings that feed on humans and try to lure them away from their packs with their bright outfits and silly faces.

Alien: Oh gods.

Alien 2: Next thing I knew bulkheads were sealing left and right and armed patrols were conducting a room by room search.

Alien: Shut the florp up.

Alien 2: I watched through my doors peephole as they dragged my next cabin neighbor out kicking and screaming as they found white face paint amongst their belongings.

Alien 2: After that everyone onboard was removed from their cabins and placed in the main hall before it was sealed off.

Alien 2: The captain came out with a row of armed guards on either side and demanded whoever was harboring the clown step forward at once.

Alien 2: When no one did the captain became angry and said he would begin interrogating people until he found the culprit. Any who were found guilty would be sent out the airlock.

Alien: This all seems rather unlike humans.

Alien 2: I thought so to.

Alien 2: Yet it seems to stem from their great fear of these clown like beings.

Alien: What happened next?

Alien 2: The captain led people one by one into another room before coming back for another person.

Alien: What happened to the first person they took?

Alien 2: They never came back….

Alien: Dear gods….

Alien 2: One by one the entire crew was hauled away until it was just me and the captain.

Alien 2: He asked me, *Imitating captain “Are you a clown?”

Alien 2: I said “No sir.”

Alien 2: They said “Have you helped a clown board my vessel an place us all in jeopardy?”  

Alien 2: I said “No sir, I would never.”

Alien 2: He said “I know you’re a lying sack of froth shite and you’ve just dug your own grave. We searched your room and found the clown suit!”

Alien 2: I said “There must be some mistake!”

Alien 2: He replied “I don’t make mistakes boy; and now your time has come to pay for your crimes.”

Alien 2: A pair of guards came over and began dragging me to doorway I assumed was the airlock intent to shoot me out of it.

Alien 2: I kicked and screamed and begged but they threw me in and locked the door behind me.

Alien 2: I heard the countdown timer begin as the captain leaned in and laughed at me as I started banging away at the door.

Alien 2: The timer reached 0 and the opposite door flung open as I prepared myself to die.

Alien: Well I take it you didn’t die since you’re right here telling me this story.

Alien 2: I was greeted by a laughing throng of guests standing around on our destination planet.

Alien 2: It seemed we had landed the night before and the captain had failed to inform the rest of the guests.

Alien 2: He had known it was me in the clown suit and had pulled each guest aside to get them onboard with his revenge prank while making me believe they had been flung out an airlock.

Alien: Wow. That’s fucked up even by our standards.

So cute

A teeny tiny embroidered bead* lizard for my jacket!

*no actual beads were used but I figure if I can crochet a bead lizard I can embroider one

Sorry for the TRUE lesbians here, but this is very current in the life of every aroace girl.

I met my biological mother after a while, and she was in a bit of a bad shape. She's alcoholic. My (foster) mother said that it's understandable to feel bad about it. But I didn't, I didn't feel anything. And I feel more bad about that I didn't. I feel kind of disconnected from her. Like, she isn't my mother. And I'm not the child anymore, who was feeling excited to see her after a long time.

I was looking at her like the patients at work. Maybe even less than that. Like from the outside.

I'm very sad. I don't have any celebrity friends to promote my "I'm Not Okay" campaign.💔😓

Just a reminder 🚨

There is no one left who does not know Gaza🇵🇸💔..

and does not know what is happening there🚀😓. It is a battlefield against everything.💔

Against humans, trees, animals and stones...❤️‍🩹

Please save what is left..

We do not want to lose more...🩸🩸

Life no longer has value...

We have become strangers in our own country.😭

We are begging to live our days with fear and extreme caution...💔

We don't want any more blood.

To know my story, visit my page. ..

Thank you...🙏

Please support and share as a favor, not an order💚..

Donation link here..👇

https://gofund.me/45f50996

Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #80 )and a-shade-of-blue

I can't donate, but I can share

I don't use social media apps nowadays so much because I want to do things that I like to do. Like reading, knitting, walking in nature, biking, doing crafts... Sometimes, I listen to podcasts or something at the same time if I can concentrate on both.

And then it's been a while since I've been to Insta or Face and don't even ask about Snapchat. It's hard to find the time for it, and when I do, it takes me an hour or more to get out of it.

I have deep love for the cat.

Postcrossing US-10679785 by Gail Anderson Via Flickr: Postcard with a colorful illustration of women done by artist Cynthia Kittler for an advertisement. Sent by a Postcrossing member in the United States.

unpopular opinion but with the new tide of Greek mythology stories and retellings, Greek Cultural Sensitivity Readings are absolutely necessary. We are in 2024, with thousands of fics and retellings out there!! How is this not a thing yet?? There's vast improvement one can achieve by working professionally on their text with a Greek. I've seen it so many times!!

Also, duh, I'm offering the service BUT I want you to know that the situation with the inaccuracies of SERIOUS works is so dire that initially I didn't even do it for money. As a writer I just wanted to... fix things, to set a new standard for writers and the industry that sells us the most heavily Americanized pop-culture material and passes it as "authentic vibes of Greek mythology". (And of course there were writers who wanted to do right by their story and they had reached out to me. So kudos to them as well!)

Okay, but why does Cultural Sensitivity Reading make a vast difference and it's not just smoke and mirrors?

As a Greek, I am tired of well-meaning writers and authors butchering very basic elements of my culture. It's not their fault exactly, since they were raised in another culture with a different perspective. And nobody clued them in on how different Greek culture is from theirs, so writers sometimes assume that their culture is the default and they project that into ancient Greece. (Even published professionals like Madeline Miller have written "UK or US in antiquity" (with a very colonialist flavor) instead of writing "Ancient Greece". (Looking at you, Circe!)

Even writers who researched a lot before coming to me still had a lot of misinformation or wrong information in their text, easily verifiable by the average Greek. Again, not their fault. They can only access certain information, which does not include Greek scholarly work and scientific articles that DO offer valuable context.

Translation, accuracy, and meaning: If you ever wondered what a word means or how to pronounce it, here's your chance! There are Greeks like me who are knowledgeable and have a keen interest in antiquity and they will be able to read and compare ancient texts, and dive deeper into the work of Greek scholars regarding those texts.

If you want to create new words, you can do that as well! (It doesn't always work, but we can try. Greek is a really rich language and has a word about everything) If you use existing words, I can help you separate reality from fantasy in the context of your story.

(Do not assume we Greeks are ignorant of our heritage, or that we don't know how to research! Our archaeology sector is huge and archaeological museums are closer to most of us than your local Target is to you)

I guarantee there are things you never thought about Greece and the Mediterranean - from the ancient to the modern era. Sprinkling elements like phrases, types of interactions, customs, songs, instruments, dances, etc , into your text will make your text absolutely rich in culture.

Names matter!!! The genders of the names matter, diminutives matter (If I see one more "Perse" for Persephone I will claw my eyes out along with a few thousand Greeks), naming traditions matter!!! In many cases you should not even use a diminutive!!

You will be able to write about a foreign culture easily! Because of the continuity of Greek culture, you can even write a few more recent Greek elements to fill in the gaps. I can make sure they are not mismatched, and they will complement your ancient setting. I have observed a few things I didn't know we had since antiquity, but they make sense because our land has certain characteristics.

Non-Greek writers often miss the whole context of Greek culture! Do you know how Greek respect towards deities and parents looks like? What tones we use when we talk to our elders? When to use honorific plural - if your setting is more modernized?

Oh, and please let's avoid caricatures when describing Greeks?? (even fantasy Greeks) There can be heavy exotisation and odd descriptions of Greeks, as if we are another species. Even in published works. For many western writers it's difficult to catch, unfortunately.

The whole process is actually way easier than you think. You send me a text, I make notes and then we have some discussion on your vision.

It's always okay to seek guidance from the locals! You are not "guilty" when you admit you don't know! How can you know if you don't ask?? You can't imagine what relief and "πάλι καλά!!!" I read/see from other Greeks when I tell them another foreigner is using me for cultural sensitivity? Greeks want you to seek help and will NOT shame you for it!

(On the contrary, you have no idea how many eye-rolls Greeks do when they see a blatantly wrong thing in a story... Which has happened pretty often for many years now. Can we do better as an industry?? Please???)

You can send me a personal message to share your story, or ask what this whole cultural sensitivity thing is all about, or ask about what I have done so far and how I can help. But for the love of all that's good, don't let your story be another "generic greek myth retelling"! And don't let others sell you their generic greek myth retellings!!

It's not homophobic for someone to not want to be called gay by the way. Many transhet people or aspec or arospec people or multisexual (bi, poly, pan, etc) people don't like being called gay and that's ok.

For example. I'm not a gay non binary person. I'm a straight non binary person. Maybe it doesn't make sense to you, and maybe you don't care, but i care, so stop calling me gay for fucks sake

I'm also asexual fwiw, and that doesn't make me gay either. I'm queer or part of the LGBTQ community, but please do not call me gay!

Wow

The North Rose window of Chartres Cathedral, France, 1190-1220 CE. The stained glass window shows scenes of Jesus Christ, the prophets and 12 kings of Judah.

Title: An Afternoon Stroll

Artist: Peder Mørk Mønsted

Date: 1888

Style: Realism

Genre: Landscape

✨ Feel free to check out our community for more art! ✨

Cute 😍

God. I fucking love crochet. Look at these fat little things.

Oooh! I would love to try do something like this!

spider activities

Vintage French postcard, 1913.

Have a nice week, everyone! And remember to something fun tomorrow, because Monday is the hardest for many people.

I'm going to study, visit my grandma, knit, and read.

Working in the yarn shop on Sundays, I have a group of regulars who come in specifically then for my advice on their knitting projects and over the years I've gotten to know a lot about them - their ailments and their spouses and their children and their careers and their mothers are all things they find themselves telling me about over the course of trying to bring forth a knitted piece. Most of them are women, most of them are over 50, and most of them have been through a lot and are trying to reclaim something for themselves through the act of creation. A while back, one of these older women opened up to me about how when she first came to this country it was just her and her daughter and they were so happy until her husband joined them, when he promptly began making her miserable. Now, decades later, all her children live far away, she spends all her time taking the husband to dialysis, her sciatic is bad and she may need heart surgery (who will take care of her, I find myself wondering), and she comes to see me once a month or so to talk about a new project and tells me it is the only thing she does for herself.

Today she came in with a smile on her face and delightedly introduced me to her son, who will soon move closer to home with his family. Then she says, as if commenting on the weather, that on Friday her husband died, and tomorrow they will hold the funeral. For a second I had tonal whiplash from the conversation and then I realized, oh, you're unburdened now. Like the relief in her face and her body were palpable. The son shows a picture of a cardigan to me and asks if it can be knitted, and we pick out yarn and a pattern. She's so excited to make it for him. She beams when she looks at him; he is tall and handsome and polite, and wants to wear something she made for him. She is proud of this man she raised.

It just made me think of the many, many women who come from cultures where leaving a crappy spouse isn't an option so they shuttle along doing their best and trying to find some beauty and joy in whatever way they can. Kids may not visit often because their spouse isn't welcoming or there is bad blood, so they are lonely. I remind her, we have our social group. She hasn't come to it much before because she is always taking him to dialysis, but now she says she will come often and meet the other women. Many of them are like her, but in the craft they find companionship that has been absent for so much of their lives. I hope there will be renewal for this dear lady and that she can learn more about herself and what brings her joy.

I really do think a big part of Austen's works is examining what happens when a lot of wealth and a lot of leisure brings out the worst in people. Most of her characters are Trust Fund Babies who never have and never will work a day in their lives. Even good landlords like Darcy can take two month vacations at their friend's houses without consequences beyond writing a few letters of business. Even some of the real jobs were hardly work, clergymen could (and did) hire dirt cheap curates to cover their sermons, landlords had stewards.

What sort of terrible behaviour results? A ton of greed, a lot of social envy (trying to get higher and richer in society), a lot of men and women treating love as a game (either for giggles or to marry up), a lot of indolence/laziness (Mr. Bennet and Lady Bertram), and a ton of pride despite having done nothing for their wealth and position except you know, being born (and often being born male).

How could a man flirt with women just for fun? He doesn't have anything else to think about or do! Why is that woman trying so hard to manipulate a rich man? It's her only way to attain wealth since it's uncouth for her to dirty her hands.

These people need actual jobs. I'm convinced Henry Crawford would be like an 80% better person if he had something to do with his life.

And then you have the fact that almost none of the actions of men have any real consequences, at least for themselves...

@/pepel_klaasa: It's way too often that I hear: "I'll gladly donate to the Ukrainian civilians, but not to the military". So, here's the contemporary Ukrainian military explained in one picture.

Source: 58th Brigade

It's so irritating hearing things like: "All countries are just imaginary, those are just lines on a map. Why would anyone care about that stuff?"

Bitch, gender is imaginary, race is imaginary, days of the week are imaginary, but all of those things are impacting your life nonetheless. Money as a concept are as legitimate as those lines on the map; does that mean that wealth inequality magically doesn't matter anymore?

Like, I'm glad you're existence is so safe you can barely care about the country you're living in, but for some of us the movement of those lines on the map is the matter of life and death.

its been a full 12 hours and I still can’t get over whatever smartass wrote this “translation”. They are trying to get a traveling bitch KILLED.