15, 16 And 17 - The Marx Brothers - MimeSomething Big And Fancy For The Midpoint Of The Challenge, Ladies

15, 16 and 17 - The Marx Brothers - Mime Something big and fancy for the midpoint of the challenge, ladies and gentlemen! The Marx Brothers are, without reservation, my favorite comedians of all time. They use a brilliant mixture of slapstick, wordplay, and atrocious, paint-curling puns to create some of the most hilarious movies known to man. Their influence on comedy can hardly be overstated; I find it hard to believe that there is a comedian on the face of the planet who has not been influenced in some way by the Marx Brothers. Though mostly seen as slightly creepy, silent clowns in real life, Mimes in role-playing games tend to be massively powerful, very sought-after classes. The root of their strength lies in their ability to copy the moves of other characters, often without paying the costs associated with those moves. In fact, a popular tactic with the Mime is to have all of the characters in a party become Mimes, then have one of them cast a huge, costly, powerful spell, and then have the whole party mimic the attack turn after turn, dealing huge amounts of damage. This is the main reason I felt the Mime class was so appropriate for these three: given their huge influence, there are a vast number of comedians that could be said to be Miming the Mime. Incidentally, I based their designs on the three games which use Mimes most prominently. Groucho is based on the FFV Mime (probably the most boring Mime - they just stuck shoulderpads and a cape on the Freelancer and called it a day!), Harpo is a FFT Mime, and Chico is a FFVI Mime (aka, Gogo).

Quite likely the first computer programmer as well as an icon of ladies in science, Ada Lovelace was one of the few people who thought early computers could be more than just counting engines. She was stylish, smart, and had family trouble out the wazoo, so her story has something for everybody. She also died very, very young — only 36 — which is just freaking criminal. In RPGs, Calculators are characters that use — shock shock — math in some way when they attack. This class is most popular in the Final Fantasy series, where they use magic attacks that hit enemies whose level or position are multiples of specific numbers. At first glance the decision to make Ada a Calculator might seem a bit obvious, but it really made sense to me that Ada would look at magic as just another problem that math could solve. Especially when you consider that her biggest insight was seeing how a mathematical engine could be used to solve non-mathematical problems.

20 - Ferdinand von Zeppelin - the Cid In every Final Fantasy game, there is a Cid. Sometimes he’s a mechanic, sometimes he’s a warrior, but he’s usually connected to airships in some way. Personally, I think that’s half the reason Cid is such a well-liked figure in the series; seeing him means you’ll soon be able to skip over those obnoxious mountain ranges. But anyway, if I were to cast human history in the same light as a Final Fantasy game, Ferdinand von Zeppelin would be our Cid. The scion of a noble family, Ferdinand joined the army at a young age. His interest in airships was kindled when he fought in the American Civil War, acting as a balloon observer for the Union Army of the Potomac. The designs von Zeppelin later penned would lead to the construction of the first truly usable airships in human history. Von Zeppelin never lived to see the shutdown of Germany’s airship program due to the Treaty of Versailles, or the ultimate destruction of its PR in the Hindenburg disaster, but regardless of the fate of his particular inventions, Ferdinand von Zeppelin’s work brought forth the age of mass air transit, which was a huge factor in creating our modern world.

14 - Orson Welles - Orator I have to admit, there was a fair amount of competition for the Orator class. The ability to speak well has been the cornerstone of a large number of famous careers, both political and for entertainers. Orson Welles, shown here in his later, huskier years, eventually clinched it for his sheer range. Mr. Welles is perhaps best known for his broadcast of H.G. Wells’ The War of the Worlds which made half the country crap their pants, but he also lent his voice to such bizarre endeavors as The Jack Benny Show, Macbeth, and commercials for jelly. He was even the voice of a world-eating robot in Transformers: The Movie! Flexibility tends to be the hallmark of the Orator class. Capable of a wide variety of strategies and abilities, the Orator usually uses unusual voice-based skills with effects no other class has. For example, in Final Fantasy Tactics, the Orator is the only class that can convince an enemy to permanently join your side. The Orator is actually pretty rare, with most games running out of space long before they reach this humble chatterbox. It’s a bit of a shame, as I believe the Orator brings a bit of class to any game.

09 - Magogo kaDinuzulu - Bard One thing I really wanted to do with this series of characters was to show off lesser-known historical figures. I mean, everybody knows King Henry the 8th and Joan of Arc and so on, but who’s ever heard of this lady? Princess Constance Magogo Sibilile Mantithi Ngangezinye kaDinuzulu (deep breath) was born to the last king of the Zulus, Dinuzulu kaCetshwayo, and was one hell of an amazing lady. In a society that treated women very poorly, Magogo not only made her own way in life even after marriage, but actually played a hugely pivotal role in preserving the art and culture of the Zulu in the early 20th century. She was a very skilled musician herself, both in European classical music and with several traditional African instruments (shown here with an ugubhu). Basically, she was seriously badass and there’s not nearly enough information about her around. Mostly a support class, Bards use their music in combat to inspire allies and discourage foes -- basically, they buff allies and debuff enemies, usually with a series of damage or effect-over-time skills, gradually weakening enemies and strengthening allies. For a long time, Bards were severely underappreciated class. Usually relegated to being that one obnoxious party member who never really added that much to combat, these days Bards can be pretty dang impressive. They’ve become the go-to non-healing support class, and sometimes even usurp the White Mage as the party healer.

Now that it's November, we can start the 30 Characters challenge properly. Our first contestant is Andrew Jackson, seventh President of the United States, pretty much the grand high llama of the inflexible position. He started out as a soldier and worked his way up to commander, gaining the nickname, “Old Hickory.” In the War of 1812, he led a group of militiamen - really, a group of pirates and slaves and anybody else that could be grabbed off the streets - to victory in the Battle of New Orleans. Really what I am trying to say is that Andy Jackson was kind of a badass, and I’d have nothing but respect for the man if he only hadn’t treated native americans like crap. Aaaand that’s where we get to Old Hickory’s character class. There are some Paladins whose only interest is in serving the greater good. And there are some Paladins who only fight in service of their god. Andrew Jackson would not have been one of those Paladins. Andrew Jackson would have been the kind of Paladin who runs screaming into a group of Goblins, foaming at the mouth. Possibly the phrase, “Inhuman monsters” would be used. Because for all that I love Andy, he really did love holding a grudge.