I Dont Think Ppl Realize Just How Much Of An ATROCIOUS Wifeguy Harvey Would Be After The Farmer Marries

i dont think ppl realize just how much of an ATROCIOUS wifeguy harvey would be after the farmer marries him. and like god forbid you have kids with him. he is “stick figure family sticker on the back of the minivan” waiting to happen

like /w sdv a lot of the other bachelor/ettes are just kinda like “cool that we’re married now this is a sweet gig” but like harvey is ALL up in yuor business all the time abt how becoming a porch swinging tradwife living on a farm has saved his lonely failcringe doctor life and he loves you so so much and please do not shit to death in the skull caverns and die bc he will die too of a random anime mom illness like some kind of pair bonded albatross

and like how fucking annoying this would be for the residents pelican town too. like /w the town so full of broken ass families harvey and the farmer would absolutely be the pair that everybody goes to bed hoping and praying for messy tearful divorce . they wish harvey would go back to barely interacting with anyone outside of the clinic bc now hes prowling the square like a starving cheetah chasing down anybody in his AOE range to lock them into an unskippable cutscene abt how his kids are so so cute and look at this picture of my husband look at this picture of her look at it now

I've started simping for a character in a game I don't even play 😭💖 I guess I'm just attracted to the golden retriever himbo type.

I do plan to get Stardew Valley when the 1.6 update drops (≧∇≦)/

just want to say that your blog is so cool and your writing is by far some of the best I’ve seen in a while

I want to eat it/pos

I've been grinning at this ask since you sent it,,,

ey yooooo are requests still open?? if so, what are the bachelor/ette's first impressions of the farmer? who do you think has a crush right off the bat and who takes a little longer to warm up to them?

They are open! I’ll let y’all know when they’re closed, but you can still send in requests regardless—I won’t delete any, but I have to wait until I have time to work through them. This got away from me, it’s so long, and I really wanted to do a bit for everybody, but the post is a monster so I'm going to make the bachelorette's a little later, if that's alright! It also fell a little more toward “How The Marriage Candidates Fall In Love With You,” so. Uh. Whoops? I hope you enjoy!

Bachelorettes are here.

This is super fluffy for some of them, others not so much, Shane is Shane, and Seb is Seb. There’s some little bits of dialogue here and there, but I didn’t go crazy, and I tried to stick to canon but also I did not stick to canon lmfao

Sam

Sam saw you on the first friday of spring, at the saloon

He thought you looked… pretty normal, actually

like, yeah sure, you had work boots caked with dried mud, and a backpack stuffed past-full with an assortment of busted up tools slung over your shoulder, but other than that, pretty normal

Besides, it wasn’t weird for people living on a farm to have a lot of tools, right?

He’s got the image of you seared into his brain for a few days afterward, but doesn’t talk about it with Seb and Abigail because they’re both weirdly touchy about the subject (more on that later)

Then you approach him at the egg festival to introduce yourself, and Sam’s curiosity grows that much more

Your boots are still filthy, your backpack is practically bursting at the seams, and he’s pretty sure he saw you drop at least 5000 gold on seeds at Pierre’s stand

He wants to talk to you more, but then Lewis starts the egg hunt, and for the first time since Sam moved to Pelican Town, Abigail loses—to you

Everyone is surprised, Abigail is bitter about it, Sam wishes he’d had the chance to talk to you again after the egg hunt was wrapped up, but he couldn’t find you

He’s even more taken aback when he hears about your stints in the mines to the north of town, because aren’t there monsters down there???? 

Not to mention you apparently have a nasty habit of falling asleep in town instead of at your farmhouse?? Where you should be sleeping?? Hello?????

Plus the acts of literal deforestation you’ve apparently been enacting outside of Seb’s house? (with robin’s permission, but still)

He is so confused

The flower dance rolls around

You don’t ask anyone to dance, but you do make your rounds, making sure to talk to everyone—even Clint and Mr. Mullner, and he’s especially surprised when he spots you talking to the homeless guy that lives behind Seb’s house

He’s interested to get to know you, but isn’t self-aware enough to examine the underlying intentions there

Over the course of your friendship, he starts feeling things he didn’t know he could

When you defend him with Lewis, when you take the blame for the egg incident—and when you arrive to the bus stop twenty minutes early for their gig in the city—even though you hate the city

You dressed up for the occasion, and Sam almost drops his guitar case in the dirt when he sees you

You help them load up their equipment into the bus, and Sam can’t stop looking at you

Asks to sit next to you during the drive

You share his earbuds and he shows their music to you

You both bob your heads to the beat, and your thighs are pressing together, but he's the only one who notices

He wants to hold your hand so bad

And then when he’s on stage, he’s got anxiety bubbling in his gut, but one look at you standing in the front row has him jumping headfirst into the set with a wild grin on his face

He catches you buying one of their band shirts and a CD from outside the venue

He gets breathless every time he sees you wearing it around town after that

You wear it when you hand him the bouquet, too, and he swears he could fall to his knees

Seb

He doesn’t like you

Even before you showed up, he didn’t like you

For weeks, you were all anyone could talk about

He couldn’t make it through one conversation without hearing about you, and it drove him nuts

He didn’t understand the allure, or the interest, and he was genuinely irritated every time you were mentioned

Like a song that you overplay so much that you end up hating it?

Yeah. exactly like that

When he meets you, he’s even more put off because he doesn’t understand you

He doesn’t understand why you’d leave the city to go to Pelican Town

He understands the allure of a gigantic swathe of land waiting to be claimed, but still. 

Pelican Town???

Also weirded out by how eager you are to make friends, and the first time you gift him a quartz crystal, he doesn’t know how to react—mainly he’s just afraid about how you knew he liked them because he knows for a fact that he's never told you

But even though you make him uncomfortable at first, he’s not going to be outright rude to you or go out of his way to be a dickhead

And honestly, you’re still nice

You’re weird, and he’s never seen the land around his house so devoid of trees before, but that’s really as far as his opinion goes

his mother isn’t stressing nearly as much about bills anymore due to your commissions, so he’s kind of glad about that

But you’re so different from him, and he’s pretty committed to getting the hell out of pelican town, so what does it matter? He’s not going to be around for long enough to make a real friend out of you

Oh, Sebby

He immediately changes his tune the first time you give him sashimi

It was surprising that you didn’t make up a story or give an excuse for it, either

You waltzed into his room like you owned the place, waited until he was finished with work (which was… a new experience for him) and set the container on his corner shelf

“You like sashimi, so I made this for you. Tell me what you think. Have a good day, Seb.” and you smiled at him, and maybe you didn’t notice the way his ears flushed bright red, or maybe you were just too nice to point it out

And it was good sashimi

It wasn’t a special occasion, it wasn’t a prank, and he was dead confused because you’d only exchanged a few hellos and stilted conversations that altogether totaled a grand three minutes, so he had no idea how you knew again

Worked up the courage to ask

Everything clicked into place when you told him that his mother and half-sister mentioned it to you

And then he was stuck with the knowledge that you talked about him to other people—that you even asked about him

You’re respectful of his time and boundaries, you speak kindly to him, show an interest in his hobbies, and he’s amassed a small collection of frozen tears and quartz crystals lined on his shelves

He orders stands for every last one, dusts them all regularly, and when you give him an obsidian stone, he starts carrying it around with him in his pocket, just because

He fights with himself for months before he can admit to himself that he has a crush on you

Definitely has that “oh no” moment lmao

Can’t look at you for a little while, but once he gets over that, he can’t stop looking

Takes longer to admit it to anyone else, and doesn’t intend to admit it to you

You throw a wrench in that plan eventually :)

Alex

We all know he finds you attractive right off the bat

Which—obviously, why wouldn’t he? (<3)

But unlike Shane, for example, he’s readily kind and eager to talk to someone other than his grandparents or Haley

He might be attracted to you, but he’ll try his best not to let that color his interactions as much

There are moments where he slips up, but there’s no negative intentions there

And because he knows himself, he figures whatever mini-crush he’s developing will eventually go away

When it doesn't, he gets really down on himself

Starts thinking about you constantly, and rethinking all of your interactions so far

Kind of ashamed of how he treated you

You’ve always been so kind to him, and so supportive of his goal to go pro

But he’s never really… reciprocated that

It takes him a long while to work up the courage to apologize

He wishes he didn’t do it while in the middle of a workout, but the moment felt right otherwise

It helped that it was just you and him, because you’re so damn popular with the rest of the town that he can rarely get a moment alone with you

And just like he figured you would, you accept his apology without any fanfare, and then turn right around and encourage him again

He’s got hearts in his eyes, trust

His crush builds over the course of months, and the moment it’s solidified is when you catch him on the beach, reminiscing about his mother

You don’t judge him for his tears, and even though you laugh when he asks you to keep it under lock and key, the sound is bright in his ears like wind chimes

And you still kept his secret

Alex is gone on you from that moment, 100%

You’re kind, and attractive, and you treat him so well it almost makes him feel insecure

When he’s working at the ice cream stand during the summer, there are plenty of times where he’s almost scooped out of the wrong tray because he was busy thinking about you

He’s never felt this way about anyone

All of his crushes have been super shallow in the past, but this is different

They were all physical, but he fantasizes about living on the farm with you, and wonders what kind of partner you’d be on the regular

Sticks his face in the freezer when his thoughts veer into less innocent territory (he thought about how you might like to kiss him)

Haley makes fun of him about it lmfao

Y’all don’t figure your shit out until year two, probably during the dance of the moonlight jellies

You ask him to watch them with you, and with the glow of the ocean illuminating your face, you hand him the bouquet

He accepts it (duh) and tries to play it cool, but he’s cheesing for the rest of the night

Elliott

Sees you fishing on the beach after an early morning spent in the mines

He walks out of his cabin to stretch his legs after a long night sitting at his writing desk

He’s only been in Pelican Town for a year himself, but he notices a new face right off the bat

You’ve got your legs hanging off the edge of the pier, fishing rod in hand, and two buckets next to you (one for bait, the other for your catches)

Elliott knows you’re the new farmer immediately

Though he’s not entirely sure why a farmer would need a sword, or a shoulder guard

He’s not intending to introduce himself to you, but when you look up and lock eyes with him, there’s a sudden tug in his chest

He believes in soulmates, I’ll just say that

Then you wave at him and smile, and he walks up without thinking about it

You take your fishing rod out of the water and set it aside, getting up to introduce yourself, and Elliott is fond of you already

Anyone who prioritizes the person they’re speaking to is going to be very attractive to him

And because Elliott’s a little sensitive, he tends to take it the wrong way when the person he’s speaking to doesn’t give him their full attention

One of my personal hcs is that he came from a rich family that never paid any real attention to him or valued his input

So when you give that to him without a second thought, he knows he’ll get along with you just fine

He’s curious about you in the beginning, but that’s as far as allows himself to take it

He thinks of you as a friend, or at least he tries to

Maybe it was the way the sunlight streaming through his windows caught your eyes as you inspected his struggling rose, or maybe it was the soft smiles you gave him when he would find crabs in his shirt pocket, but he’s constantly catching himself thinking about you

He plays it cool for the most part

But then you gift him a bottle of squid ink, mentioning how you noticed his stock getting low during your last visit, and the gears in his head make a funny noise

During the long process of writing his book, there were many times he was cemented in place by his writer’s block

But when his brisk walks through town and his piano breaks weren’t enough to spark inspiration, even a short conversation with you was enough for his fingers to twitch

You make him enjoy his art again, and he doesn’t care if someone notices the similarities between you and the protagonist of his book

Finally embraces it and dedicates his book to you

He knows he’s probably being so obvious about his feelings, but your face flushes brightly when he tells you during his reading at the library

If I’m honest, I don’t think he’s actually capable of having crushes on people

He feels everything so deeply that he might just fall straight into the ‘smitten’ category, but he swears that something about you is different

When you hand him the bouquet, he doesn’t blame fate, or any cosmic forces

None of them hold a candle to your power over him, anyway

Shane

We know how this guy is

Or rather, we know how he acts

He’s not at all curious, and he would rather you leave him alone entirely, but it’s not because he hates you or anything

He just doesn’t know you

But most everyone in town looks at him with pity, and he can’t stand another person looking at him like that

He’d rather you just not like him at all, so at least your expression will be different

Except you’re a persistent little shit

Every request he sticks on the board outside Pierre’s will be completed within the first few hours of the day, and he knows every time that it’ll be you, with whatever he’s asked for in your hands and an eager smile on your face

You always make time to talk to him, you smile at him on your way to whatever it is you get up to in your free time, and he’s pretty sure you’ve spent a small fortune on pizza and beer for him at the saloon

You laugh at his jokes, you listen to him rant about Morris and shitty customers without a shred of complaint—you make him feel like he’s actually worth listening to

The first time he’s properly mean to you is when he’s on his way to work

He’s finally accepted that you want something to do with him, and you’re tentative friends now, so it isn’t on purpose, but it’s still his fault

It’s cold outside, he hasn’t had a drink in two days, and he can’t drink before work if he wants to keep his job, so his withdrawals are bad

The wounded look on your face when he snaps at you swims behind his eyelids for his whole shift

He’s fighting tears back for the rest of the day, and his self-talk is the worst it’s been in a long time

He’s convinced he’s driven you away for good, and while part of him is almost glad that he’s managed to do it, the other, much louder part of him, is breaking apart because he’s really and truly fucked up with you

He’s at the saloon that night, already two beers in, when you waltz in

He makes eye contact with you out of habit, and your smile falters, just a bit

He feels like shit immediately, and looks down into his pint

For the first time he realizes that having you hate him feels infinitely worse than how it would if you pitied him

But with that knowledge, he reserves himself to his fuck-up

Even though he knows he should apologize, because that’s the right thing to do, he figures it’d be better for you if he just kept to himself and left you be

Until you plop down on the stool next to him at the bar, with a drink of your own

“Hey, grumpy. Do you feel like tolerating some company now?”

Stares at you in surprise for what feels like a minute before he stares into his pint again, squinting and trying to find anything wrong with it

You chuckle at him and guide him into setting down his beer

“No one spiked your drink, knucklehead, it’s me”

Was convinced that you’d want nothing to do with him, but then you order a pizza for the two of you, and he’s struck clean through by how… normal you’re being about him

Apologizes while you’re waiting for your food, and asks pretty bluntly why you’d still want to talk to him after that morning

“I figured you were just in one of your moods,” you shrug, taking a long drink from your glass, “Besides, I’ve had my moments, too. It’d be pretty hypocritical of me to get on your ass about it. But I forgive you, so quit beating yourself up about it, yeah?”

Probably doesn’t believe you’re capable of any “moments” because you’re always busting your ass to be the kindest you can possibly be

He used to think it was weird, and probably took you as the manipulative type when you first arrived, because you gave gifts and started conversations undeterred, desperate to win affection

But looking at you right then, he finally figures it out—that that’s just you

Maybe you do want everyone to like you, but your interactions with everyone have never been shallow

His chest gets tight, and he sets down his pint. He doesn’t intend on finishing it, because his vision is blurring around the edges, and he really wants to remember your conversation

Usually you’d ask him about how his shift went—if Morris was an annoying prick again, but he beats you to it while you’re in the middle of a sip 

“Tell me about your day?”

The surprise coloring your features makes him feel guilty, but he shoves that aside in favor of listening to you talk

He didn’t know you went into the mines as frequently as you did, and he has no idea what the hell a “skull cavern” is, but he hangs on every word

You both walk home together, dropping him off at Marnie’s as you go, and he flops into bed with his head swimming and a dopey smile on his face

He wakes up the next day with a hangover, but he’s off work, and he’s still got the image of your smile tattooed on his brain

“Fuck.”

Y’all he’s so dumb

Harvey

You have this man stressed out from day one, and it takes him longer than the others to realize his feelings—or develop them (longer than Shane, too. Wild isn’t it?)

He’s a little impressed with your complete lack of anxiety about most things

He’s been the valley doctor for years now, but he still doesn’t have a very personal relationship with most of the townies

But you moved in three months ago and you’re already on your way to being besties with half of the town

The only thing he’s not sure about is your apparent lack of self-preservation instincts

You’ve passed out in every part of the valley at least once, and he’s treated several broken bones and serious injuries of yours by the time summer rolls around

he’s worried about you—as the valley doctor, he practically holds everyone’s lives in his hands, and there are patients that he’s lost in the past and can’t forget about

So making sure everyone is taking care of themselves is already nerve-wracking enough without throwing someone like you in the mix

You, who can’t go one week without some incident happening

He’s started up a tentative friendship with Marlon up at the guild, if only for the many times he’s carried you down to the clinic with varying level of injuries littering your skin

But you’re aware of the stress you bring him, and over time, you start improving

You get better at defending yourself in the mines, and he hasn’t found you passed out in front of someone’s porch in at least two months

That doesn’t sound like a long time, but given your track record, it’s impressive

And you’ve made a habit out of bringing him a coffee twice a week as a silent apology/thank you

He appreciates the caffeine, and your efforts to not stress him out

And during your check-up, he’s surprised to find that you’re actually—all things considered—pretty healthy

You bashfully admit that you’ve been trying to take better care of yourself so he doesn’t have to worry, and even though there’s no way he won’t worry, he appreciates it nonetheless

He properly realizes his feelings when you watch the plane fly overhead together

You’ve got your head poked out his apartment window, trying to catch a glimpse of the plane

He’s watching you carefully, making sure you don’t lean too far out, when it hits him

He’s not sure why, but you’ve got the sun shining on your face as you squint through your fingers to look at the sky, and the smile on your face when you spot the plane is brilliant

His breath leaves him in a silent gasp, and he doesn’t really care that he doesn’t get to take a good look at the plane, because he’d rather look at you

Over-explains his model planes to keep you around longer, but thinks about it for days afterward

Can’t stop thinking about how you looked, listening to him talk with your full attention

He doesn’t have many friends, and no one has ever shown a real and true interest in his hobbies—most people have found him dorky for it, but not you

He can tell the model of a plane based on the shadow of it in the sky and the sound of its motor, and you never fail to point one out and ask him which one it is

The glee on your face when he picks it out easily will never fail to make him smile

For what feels like the first time in his life, he can impress someone

His family is full of successful people: lawyers, musicians, a few unsavory cousins of his have turned to politics, and there’s more than a few pilots as well. Him being a doctor was never impressive to the people around him growing up—it was expected

He didn’t get much praise, forever overshadowed by everyone else in his family

Fake praise grinds his gears, but he knows it’s never anything but the truth when it comes from you

And the fact that it comes from you, who took up the mantle of your grandfather and turned the farm around from its steady decay and deterioration with your bare hands?

His confidence always jumps a level or two when you compliment him, because if you like him and think he’s cool, then he must be, you know?

A few weeks later, when he sees you standing outside the clinic through the window, he’s a little confused

He’s pretty sure you’ve already given him his caffeine for the week, but when he walks out to ask you what’s up, he sees the bouquet in your hands

He’s your doctor, and because he’s your doctor, he knows the blush on your cheeks and the scattered eye contact isn’t indicative of anything but nerves

You’re both practically steaming with how hard you’re blushing, and he gently takes the bouquet out of your hands

He doesn’t mind that he didn’t get to be a pilot. If he had, he doesn’t think he would’ve met you, and with the scent of flowers in his nose and your image etched into his memory, there’s nothing he’d hate more aw you guys are so cute

............................... Y o u ..................................

Requests are officially closed! Thank you to everyone who sent in prompts, and to those of you I haven't gotten to posting yet, I'll make sure to work on your asks over the course of this week. I'll probably open up requests again this Friday, if I have the time. Thank you to everyone once again, I really appreciate it <3

it's my off day, stardew valley brain rot hours are now, and I need to write—so if y'all want to, you can send me requests. I can write anything, for any villager and NSFW is cool too