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screaming, crying, throwing up 😭😭 your ability to make me cry and feel this much emotion in one single fanfic is absolutely incredible 😍 please don't stop making these...this is masterpiece and I'm following just because of it 😊

Bring Me Back to Life

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader, Bucky Barnes x reader (past)

Summary: The team comes home from a mission you sat out on due to an injury. Only thing is, the entire team doesn’t come back, at least not alive.

Steve comforts you, you comfort him…it turns to love.

Warnings: death, heartbreak, injuries, near-death experience, so much freaking angst it hurts. SMUT, oral (M & F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), praise kink, slight sub!steve. Light cursing

You were standing in your room, folding laundry, when you heard someone enter. You turned, expecting it to be Bucky, but in his place stood a solemn-faced Steve.

“Hey Stevie. You guys back?”

He just nodded as he stepped into your room completely. “(Y/N)…”

You stopped what you were doing and looked at him closely. “What’s wrong?”

“(Y/N/N), I think you should sit down.”

Your heart began to race. “Steve,” you said again. “Where’s Bucky?”

“He’s—he’s in the infirmary.”

You paled, eyes widening. You started to move towards the door, but Steve stopped you.

“(Y/N), wait—“

“Bucky’s injured and you want me to wait?” you rushed from the room, ignoring Steve’s calls for you to stop.

When you reached the door to the infirmary, Sam was standing in front of it. He looked just as pained as Steve had, but you barely noticed. All you could think about was getting to Bucky.

“(Y/N), hold on,” Sam started.

You gave him a death glare as you pushed past him, fixated on the only thing that mattered to you: Bucky.

When you walked into the room, time seemed to stand still. On the bed in front of you laid the love of your life, your boyfriend of three years, Bucky Barnes. You knew with one glance that he was gone, but your brain refused to accept that information. He couldn’t be gone.

You walked towards him, ignoring the stares of your friends and teammates. Your hands began to shake as you reached the side of the bed. As soon as you looked at his face, you felt your world come crashing down. There could be no mistaking it, his soul was gone, all that remained was the shell of the man he was. You touched his right hand, surprised by the cold feeling.

Suddenly, your body ceased functioning and you collapsed in a heap on the floor. Several people rushed to your side, but Steve got there first. He wrapped his arms around you and held you as you screamed and sobbed. He didn’t let go even as you punched his chest and screamed at him for letting this happen. He didn’t let go even as you sobbed into his chest, soaking straight through his shirt. While he didn’t know what it was like to lose the love of his life, he felt your pain in his own way. His best friend was gone and he was never coming back.

**********

For eight months, Steve stayed by your side, grieving with you in a way only the two of you could. No one else understood the pain you were both experiencing, no one else could lessen that pain.

In time, you found it easier to think about Bucky without breaking down. You were able to share stories about him, laugh at things he'd done, smile at your memories of him. Steve was the only reason you had made it this far.

If he'd had to face this alone, Steve was certain he wouldn't have survived this pain...at least he wouldn't have come out the other side still himself. He'd lived it once before, but this was so much worse. The finality of it all, the certainty that his best friend was dead, was simply unbearable. He was grateful he didn't have to bear that pain alone, even if he would have given anything for you not to have ever had to feel the pain of losing someone you loved.

Steve was a good man, quite possibly one of the best, but he didn't feel like a good man anymore. Over the last couple months, he'd begun to feel things he shouldn't feel, want things he shouldn't--couldn't--want. The guilt had started to truly eat at him and he found himself avoiding you completely or acting weird in your presence.

Unbeknownst to Steve, you had noticed the change in his demeanor whenever you were around. He never wanted to pair up with you on missions anymore, he avoided standing near you during briefings, he didn't meet your gaze, and he'd even started avoiding team building exercises altogether, which was very unlike him.

Eight months was not a long time in the grand scheme of things, and certainly not a long time to mourn the loss of someone you loved. Especially someone like Bucky. He was your entire world, and you were his, but you were both painfully aware of the life you lived. There were no guarantees for tomorrow. Life was short, and therefore deserved to be lived to the fullest.

Bucky had once made you promise him that you wouldn't mourn him for the rest of your life should he die before you. You'd always told him to shut up, he wasn't going to die, so you didn't need to have this conversation, but Bucky was insistent. All he wanted was to know that you would live your life, that you would be happy, maybe even love again, after he was gone. You couldn't imagine a world without him in it, but you promised him because you could see how much it meant to him.

When he died, a part of you died with him. That's just how it goes when you lose someone you love, a piece of your soul goes with them. A few weeks after his death, you were reminded of the promise you'd made him as you went through his things. In typical Bucky fashion, he'd written you a letter, one you would only read upon his death.

When you read the letter, your heart broke for the second time.

My dearest (Y/N),

Yeah, I know that sounds sappy, but what can I say? I'm hopelessly in love with you. If you're reading this, then life didn't go as planned. I didn't get to watch you walk down the aisle or call you Mrs. Barnes. I didn't get to grow old with you, have a gaggle of children, and retire to some random suburb. There are so many things that I'm going to miss, so many things I can only imagine.

I know you hate it when I make you promise to live without me, but I can't leave this world knowing that it'll kill you too. All I want, all I've ever wanted, is for you to be happy. If I'm not here to ensure your happiness, then I need you to do it for me. Don't give up on life just because I'm not in it. Don't walk away from a chance at a beautiful life. I need you to live, to love, to move on. You may be the love of my life, but I don't have to be yours.

I know you're reading this and wishing you could smack me upside my head, but you made me a promise and I expect you to keep it. You gave me your heart and it's a gift I have always treasured, but now that I'm gone, I am giving it back to you, so you can give it to another deserving man. I know it hurts now, but I promise, it won't always feel this way.

I have loved you from the moment I met you, (Y/N), and I will love you long after I am gone. I would never ask you to stop loving me, but simply to make room in your heart for another. I'm so sorry I won't be there for all the incredible moments in your life. I'm sorry I won't be there to laugh with you, hold your hand, kiss you, or make love to you. Please know that you mean the world to me, and I will love you always. This is not the end of the book, simply the end of the chapter.

All my love,

Your Bucky

You broke down when you read it, the ache in your chest stronger than it had ever been. You wanted to crumple it up and throw it away, pretend like you'd never made that promise, like you'd never read the letter...but you couldn't. You'd never broken a promise and you certainly weren't going to start now.

You just didn't imagine that your heart would make room for someone else so quickly. Nor did you imagine it would be someone already in your life, someone close to both you and Bucky. You felt guilty for your feelings, but you knew Bucky would be happy to see you fall in love again. Bucky had always said Steve was the best man he'd ever known, so you had to believe he would approve of your choice.

But lately, things between you and Steve had been so strained. You weren't even sure you were friends anymore, let alone anything more than that. He was so far from you emotionally, it was as if he wasn't even there. It had been so long since you'd seen him smile, you'd almost forgotten what it looked like. The only time you heard his voice was when he was speaking to someone else or giving you an order. You didn't want to admit it, but your heart had started to break all over again.

**********

Three more months went by in much the same way. Steve iced you out completely, so you'd begun to treat him in the same manner. It nearly killed you to do it, but it hurt less than the alternative.

Little did you know, Steve was dying inside. The harder he pushed you away, the bigger the hole in his heart became. It had gotten to the point where he couldn't breathe in your presence without feeling like he was drowning. The worst part of it all was that he could see how much this was hurting you, how much he was hurting you. He would have given anything to make it stop, done anything, except for let himself love you.

On this particular day, you, Steve, Sam, and Natasha were out on a mission together. None of you had anticipated any issues, fully expecting the warehouse to be completely empty. Against your better judgment, the four of you had split up, each in search of what you came to find.

You'd been in the building for less than five minutes when all hell broke loose. You heard the shouts of your teammates over comms, followed by gunfire and loud thuds. You raced in the direction Natasha had gone, but were quickly stopped by three Hydra agents coming towards you.

You heard Steve's voice over the comms, asking where you were. You tapped the device in your ear to respond, but the three men moved more quickly than you'd expected. You shifted into battle mode and began to fight for your life. Every grunt, gasp, and curse came through loud and clear for your team to hear.

"(Y/N)!" Steve yelled again. "What's your location?"

"Left," you gasped out as you blocked a punch. "of--shit," you inhaled sharply as a blow landed to your side. "entrance," you finished, managing to land a punch of your own.

Steve knew you could handle yourself, just as well as Sam and Natasha could, but the thought of something happening to you spurred him into overdrive. He raced back the way he'd come, hoping to find you along the way. He could still hear you through your comms, which told him you were still fighting.

"I'm heading there now," Natasha's voice said over the comms.

She was closer to you than Steve was, but he didn't stop running in your direction. Before he could reach you, he ran into Sam just as he knocked out the last agent that had jumped him. "You good?" Steve asked.

"Fine. Let's go get (Y/N/N)," Sam responded.

As the two men ran, the sounds coming through the comms were getting more intense. Steve could tell you were losing steam, which meant you were at even more risk. Suddenly, he heard a pained gasp fill his ear, immediately followed by Natasha screaming your name.

Steve sped up, leaving Sam behind as he followed the sound of Natasha's scream. When he reached the open space, he saw something that terrified him beyond imagining. There were three men, one of which was clearly severely injured. The other two were actively fighting Natasha, but she was clearly holding her own. His eyes scanned the space and he saw your small form lying on the ground.

He raced towards you, not caring about anything but reaching your side. "(Y/N)!" he yelled.

You looked up towards him and his heart slowed down. You were alive.

He dropped to his knees when he reached you, eyes immediately assessing your body for injuries. You were clutching your side, hand covered in blood, pale face etched with pain.

"He stabbed me," you whispered.

Steve felt anger course through his veins, but he willed himself to remain calm and focus on you. "I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?"

You shook your head. "Help Nat."

Steve looked over to Natasha. She'd heard your statement on the comms and just shook her head. "I've got this. Go!"

Sam was running over to help Natasha, so Steve made the command decision to get you out of there. He scooped you up into his arms, trying to ignore your cry of pain as he lifted you. "Sorry, (Y/N)," he murmured.

"It's okay," you mumbled.

Steve moved with a speed he'd forgotten he had, racing towards the exit with your body in his arms. He didn't want to hurt you anymore than you already were, each movement jostling you painfully. You stayed as quiet as you could, biting your lip to avoid whimpering in pain.

When he got outside, Steve rushed towards the quinjet, jogging up the ramp and placing you as gently as he could on one of the bench seats. He started rummaging around the cabin, desperately searching for the first aid kit.

"Cabinet behind the pilot chair," you said softly.

"What?" Steve said as he turned to face you.

"The first aid kit," you said, pointing towards the cabinet.

He moved to open the cabinet you pointed at, pulling out the first aid kit and coming back to your side. "Can you lift your shirt up for me, (Y/N/N)?"

You moved your hand and pulled up your shirt slowly, allowing Steve to get a better look at your wound. He inhaled sharply before digging around in the kit to pull out cleaning supplies. "This is gonna hurt."

You nodded. "I know."

He didn't look at your face, still unable to make eye contact with you, focusing instead on cleaning the deep cut in your side. Even as he cleaned the wound, blood still flowed steadily from it. He quickly realized he wasn't going to be able to just stitch it up, he needed to try and stop the bleeding as best as he could and get you back to the compound.

"Stevie?" you whispered.

The softness of your voice scared him. He could tell how weak you were just from your voice. "Hey, hey, I'm here. You're okay," he said gently.

"Am I gonna die?"

For the first time in months, Steve made eye contact with you. He saw the fear in your eyes and immediately reached out to touch your face, cupping your cheek gently. "You're not going to die, (Y/N). I promise."

The authority in his voice almost made you believe that was a promise he could keep, but you knew better. You weren't sure how much blood you'd lost, but you imagined it was a fair amount based on how exhausted you suddenly felt. You just wanted to close your eyes and go to sleep.

When your eyes fluttered closed, Steve gently shook you. "Hey, stay with me, doll. Keep your eyes open."

You opened your eyes and looked at him. "I'm tired, Stevie."

Tears welled in his eyes. "I know, but you gotta stay awake, okay? Just stay awake."

You nodded, trying desperately to keep your eyes open as Steve pulled out several wads of bandaging and begins packing your wound to the best of his ability.

After a few minutes, Sam and Natasha came running up the ramp of the jet. Upon seeing you lying on the bench seat, Natasha rushed to the cockpit and sat down in the pilot's seat, preparing to take off. She knew you needed to get out of there as fast as possible.

"Buckle up, boys. I'm getting us back home in record time," she said as she started to take off.

Sam dropped to his knees beside Steve. "What do you need, man?"

"Get me more bandages," Steve insisted. His hands were holding the packed bandages into your wound, but he needed more. As Sam handed him more bandages, Steve pushed them farther into you.

You groaned in pain, eyes starting to close again.

"Don't you close your eyes on me, (Y/N)!" Steve yelled.

You couldn't do what he asked this time around. You were simply too tired, your eyes feeling too heavy. You could hear a mixture of Steve's and Sam's voices as your eyes fluttered closed and the world faded to black.

**********

You awoke to the steady sound of beeping, a sound you couldn't place. A few minutes passed and you began to wake up more fully, eyes finally fluttering open. You glanced around the room, quickly realizing you were in the infirmary back at the compound.

You groaned lightly as you tried to shift in the bed, sharp pain radiating from your side.

"(Y/N/N)?"

You turned your head and saw Steve moving towards the bed, concern on his face.

You offered him a small smile. "Hey," you whispered.

You watched his body relax, as if hearing your voice allowed him to finally breathe. He didn't quite meet your gaze as he spoke to you. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got stabbed," you joked lightly.

Steve winced. "It's not funny, (Y/N)."

You sighed. "I know, but I'm okay thanks to you."

He shook his head. "You're a fighter, (Y/N/N). That was all you."

"Well, either way, I want to thank you."

"You're welcome," he said softly.

He still wouldn't look at you and it was breaking your heart. You felt a wave of anger rush over you and you decided you just wanted to be alone. "I--uh--I'm tired."

"Oh--umm...okay, yeah, I'll, uh--I'll go," he said quickly.

You watched him walk out of the room and you exhaled heavily. The man had literally just saved your life and you were rude to him. You felt bad, but you were also so annoyed with him. He'd looked at you when he thought you were dying, but now that you were going to be okay? He couldn't look at you. It hurt more than you could ever express.

**********

Three days later, you were finally released from the infirmary and allowed to go back to your room. You were limping slightly, the pain in your side worsening if you walked too quickly. When you got to your room, you collapsed on your bed, tired of being stuck in the hospital bed. The comfort of your own bed quickly lulled you to sleep, the most restful sleep you'd had in days.

When you woke up, you were starving. You looked at your phone and realized you'd been sleeping for several hours and it was already 8pm. You dragged yourself out of bed and made your way downstairs to get some food.

When you entered the kitchen, you were surprised to see Steve sitting at the island, quietly eating a bowl of cereal by himself.

"Cereal at 8pm?" you asked with a chuckle.

Steve's head shot up at the sound of your voice. "I, uh--I haven't eaten much the last few days. I was hungry."

You cocked your head to the side as you regarded him. "Is everything okay? You normally eat enough for five grown men."

The ghost of a smile crossed his lips. "It's just been tough these past few days."

"Why? Did something happen?"

He just shrugged, staring down into his bowl of cereal.

"Stevie?" you whispered.

"I don't want to talk about it, (Y/N)."

You were so surprised by the sharpness of his voice that you instantly backed off. "Sorry. I'll just make a quick sandwich and I'll be out of your hair."

Steve exhaled loudly, the urge to punch himself in the face overwhelmingly strong. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to snap."

"It's alright." You set about making your sandwich in silence. After a few moments you spoke again. "If you decide you want to talk about whatever is bothering you, I'll be around."

He was surprised by your offer, but he nodded his appreciation. "Thanks."

"Anytime," you say as you grab your sandwich and make your way back to your room.

You don't see the way Steve stares at your back as you walk away, eyes filled with tears at the way you limped, pain obvious in every move you made. You didn't see the tears fall down his cheeks, nor the way he rubbed his forehead, stress evident on his features. He hated himself for so many reasons in this moment, shame oozing from every pore in his body. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt you, but that was clearly what he was doing. He wanted to talk to you, to explain what he was doing, to finally tell you the truth, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to go to you, couldn't tell you how he felt...couldn't even admit it to himself.

**********

Almost three weeks passed before you finally started to feel relatively normal. Your side still ached a little, but you'd been cleared to start working out again. You were insanely thankful, having been cooped up in your room for weeks.

You walked into the compound's gym, happy to find it blissfully empty. It was early morning, long before most of your team was even awake. You started with your stretching before hopping on the treadmill, knowing you still needed to take it slow.

You didn't notice when Steve entered the gym, surprise on his face to see you there. He hadn't heard that you'd been cleared, but he also hadn’t spoken to you since that night in the kitchen. Maybe a word of greeting in passing, but nothing more than that.

He knew he couldn't just ignore you, so he decided to make his presence known. "Good morning," he called.

You turned your head and shot him a smile. "Good morning, Steve."

"When did you get cleared?"

"Last night actually."

Steve nodded. "Awesome. How, uh--how are you feeling?"

"Actually really good. Still a little sore, but almost back to normal. Being able to get back into the grove of things is definitely going to help. I was so tired of sitting around my room."

"I bet," he said as he picked up a set of free-weights. "I would probably die of boredom."

You chuckled at the the joking tone of his voice. "I almost did," you joked back.

He just smiled, attention now focusing on his own workout.

You watched quietly, eyes locked on the man across the room from you. He was looking in the mirror as he lifted, making sure to keep his stance proper.

After several minutes, Steve's eyes drifted, meeting yours in the mirror. You blushed as you looked away, slightly ashamed for staring at him so blatantly. To your surprise, you saw a small smirk form on Steve's lips, but he didn't say anything.

Steve was equally surprised to see you watching him. What really got to him was the clear desire he swore he saw in your eyes...but that couldn't be. You were Bucky's girl, always would be. It didn't matter that Bucky was never coming back, in Steve's mind, you belonged to someone else.

The two of you continued to do your workouts in silence. You finished up about 30 minutes later and headed back to your room to take a shower.

While in the shower, you let your mind wander...thinking about your relationship with Steve and how complicated everything had become. You just wanted to talk to him, to get back to a good place with him.

As soon as you got out of the shower, you quickly threw some clothes on, not even bothering with undergarments. Moments later, you were standing in front of his door, banging on it like a crazy person.

After several knocks, the door swung open to reveal a scantily clad Steve, hair and chest still damp from his own shower. When he saw that it was you knocking on the door, a deep blush heated up his face and he practically jumped backwards, searching for a shirt to throw on.

"Hey, sorry--I didn't know it was you. Would have put a shirt on," he mumbled as he pulled a clean t-shirt over his head.

"It's okay," you said as you entered his room and closed the door. "We need to talk."

"Umm, okay," he said. "What about?"

"I think you know."

He looked at the floor, the wall, the ceiling, literally anywhere but at you.

"That!" you yelled, pointing at his face.

"What?"

"You haven't looked at me since the day I got stabbed...and even before that, you could barely look at me. We don't speak, we don't hang out, it's like we don't even know each other. I need you, Steve, and I hate this. I hate how this feels."

Steve was quiet, knowing you were right.

"You have nothing to say?"

"I--I don't...what do you want me to say?"

"Anything, Steve! I want you to just say something! Tell me I'm crazy, tell me you hate me, tell me you never want to see my face again, but dear god, please don't keep doing this to me. I can't live like this," you ended your rant with in a whisper.

Steve looked down at the floor, the pain in your voice eating away at his resolve. He hated this as much as you did, but he wasn't sure what he should do...what he should say. "I don't hate you," he said softly.

You inhaled a stuttered breath and tried to keep your voice even, "Then why are you doing this?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he whispered. "I'd never want to hurt you."

You took a step towards him. "At least look at me," you begged.

He knew if he looked into your eyes, he would lose it. But the pain in your voice mixed with the soft pleading tone nearly broke his heart in two. His eyes very slowly rose up to meet yours. The moment they did, everything changed. All of the emotions both of you had been keeping locked away came bubbling to the surface, evident in your gazes.

"(Y/N)," he whispered.

The way he said your name spoke volumes. You suddenly realized he felt the same way you did: guilt and shame covering a deep, endless love.

You took a step toward him, then another, until you were close enough to touch him. You started to reach up towards his face, but his gaze shifted away from you.

"Don't look away," you pleaded softly, laying your palm against his cheek.

His eyes met yours again and your heart clenched in your chest. There was so much you wanted to say, to explain, but you couldn't. It was as if your entire vocabulary had disappeared in an instant.

The same could not be said for Steve. Your loss for words somehow opened the floodgates of his mind. "Out of all of the things I imagined happening in the last year, falling in love with you was not one of them. I never intended to, I wouldn't do that to you, or to Bucky...but it just happened. I thought the guilt would ease if I didn't tell you how I felt, but it kept eating away at me, so I thought that maybe if I pulled away from you, the love would go away too."

"How'd that go for you?" you asked softly.

He laughed mirthlessly, taking your hand from his cheek and holding it in his own. "Worse than I could ever describe." He took a deep breath. "When you got hurt...I was terrified. I thought I was going to lose you and it nearly killed me. But when you survived and started to get better, the guilt I felt was drowning me. Guilt for loving you, guilt for hurting you, guilt for letting you down...I couldn't breathe."

"I know how it feels to carry that guilt," you murmured. "When I realized I'd fallen for you, I hated myself. My only thought was how could I do that to Bucky? It felt like I was betraying him." You sighed. "But I know better than that. I know Bucky better than that. All he ever wanted was for me to be happy, even if he wasn't around for it."

"He was my best friend," Steve whispered. "And he loved you more than anything in this life. It feels like I'm spitting on his grave bc I feel the same way he did."

"He wrote me a letter," you said softly. "'You may be the love of my life, but I don't have to be yours.'" You shook your head. "He made me promise that if anything ever happened to him, I would move on, find love again, live a beautiful life. It was the only thing he ever wanted for me."

Steve was surprised to hear Bucky had written you a letter. His friend had never mentioned anything like that to him. He wasn't surprised, however, to hear what Bucky made you promise him. He was always planning for the future...just in case.

"I didn't think I'd fall in love again so quickly, but it's not something I can control," you said. "It's too late now. My heart chose you."

For the first time in his life, Steve didn't think. He didn't pause, didn't try to be rational. He acted on impulse, on desire, on months of pent-up emotion.

His lips met yours in an unexpected fiery kiss, a kiss that stole all the air from your lungs. It was intoxicating and overwhelming, the kind of kiss you never wanted to end.

But of course, it had to end, you both needed to breathe, though neither of you wanted to part. You were breathless when Steve's lips left yours, leaving you wanting more.

His forehead rested against yours, breath mingling with yours. "If we do this," he whispered, "there's no going back."

You pulled away so you could look up at him. "I don't wanna go back."

Your words were the confirmation he needed to hear. He pulled you in tightly against himself, hands grabbing at your hips to keep you close. His lips slammed against yours again, tongue sliding into your mouth, a low moan slipping from his throat.

You found yourself suddenly desperate, the need to feel his skin against yours so overwhelming you couldn't breathe. You clawed at his shirt, silently urging him to remove it. He got the hint, pulling away from you just long enough to tug his shirt off over his head.

Steve wanted you so badly, his entire body ached with need, but he didn't want to lose control. He knew very well that his sheer size and strength could easily hurt you, and he wanted to be gentle.

His hands slid up under your shirt, tugging it upwards to help you remove it. When he saw your bare chest, he let out a low groan. "Holy...no bra?"

"Comfort first," you said lightly before leaning back into him, tugging his face down to yours, lips against his ear. "No panties, either."

Steve felt his cock jump at your words and if the man cursed, this would be the moment to do it. Instead he said, "You're killing me, doll."

"I'm just getting started," you teased before pushing him back so he fell onto the bed. His hands were still gripping you tightly, so he pulled you along with him. You landed on top of him with a chuckle before kissing him affectionately.

You made quick work of removing his pants, along with your own, revealing your nude form to him. He found himself wanting to touch and kiss every square inch of your body, but it seemed you had other plans.

You began to pull his underwear down and his cock sprang free. It was as large as you expected and you licked your lips in anticipation.

Steve watched you with wide eyes, much less comfortable in the bedroom than you were, given his minimal experience.

Your eyes flicked up to his as you slowly leaned down, taking his cock into your mouth, eyes never leaving his. His moan was so loud it sent a wave of desire straight to your core.

Steve watched as you began to move, lips wrapped tightly around his cock. He'd never felt something so incredible in his life, his moans evidence of his pleasure. His hand grabbed your hair and pulled it to the side so he could watch you as you sucked.

"Feels so good, doll," he groaned.

You moaned, sending vibrations through his cock, eliciting a deep moan from his chest. You started to pick up speed, your motions urging him quickly towards his orgasm.

"Doll, if you--god--if you keep doing that I'm gonna cum," he whispered.

You lifted off his cock for a second and looked up at him with a smile. "That's the point, handsome."

You descended on him again, picking up right where you left off. His hips began to jerk, his breathing shallowed, and his moans increased in volume.

You knew he was about to cum, so you relaxed your throat and took all of him into you. The sudden constriction and the warm, wet heat of your mouth had him cummming instantly, gasps of your name leaving his lips.

You swallowed everything he had to give, making sure to lick his tip clean once he was finished. His body shuddered and he tugged gently on your hair, letting you know he was sensitive.

He pulled you up to him, reaching out to drag your face down to his so he could kiss you. "That was incredible, doll," he murmured.

"Glad I could be of service," you said lightly.

He grinned. "I think it's my turn."

"Oh?" You knew Steve wasn't as experienced as you were, but that didn't mean he didn't have some moves up his sleeve.

"Mhmm," he hummed. "Come on up here and sit on my face, pretty girl."

Your eyes widened in shock, jaw going slack at his words. "Pardon me?"

He chuckled at your shocked expression. "You heard me, doll. I want you to sit on my face."

"And here I thought you were a good boy, Steven," you teased.

He groaned involuntarily at the praise and you picked up on it immediately.

"You like it when I call you a good boy, don't you?"

He nodded vigorously, surprised at the way those two words turned him on.

You ran your fingers through his hair gently. "Well, you have been a really good boy for me so far, so I suppose I could give you a reward."

"Please," he begged softly, not quite sure what he was begging for.

You grinned wolfishly. "Lay flat, pretty boy."

The giant man practically preened at your words. He felt this overwhelming desire to do whatever you asked him to do, to please you in every possible way. He was willing to do anything to earn your praise.

Once he was comfortable, you moved to hover over his head, preparing to give him what he asked for. "You sure, baby?" you asked sweetly.

His hands grabbed your thighs, gripping them tightly. "I wanna taste you," he whimpered.

You could have cum right there just looking at his needy expression and the pleading tone in his voice. You lowered yourself onto his mouth, allowing him to determine how much of your weight he wanted on his face.

His tongue darted out, licking against your pussy gently. He grunted, clearly bothered by the way you seemed to hover over him. He pulled you down against him with all of his strength and held you there firmly.

He let out a moan of contentment as he began to eat you out in earnest.

"Holy...shit, baby," you moaned, grabbing at his headboard for support.

In between desperate moans of pleasure, all you could think was holy fucking shit, where the hell had he learned how to do that? It was like he knew every single one of your sweet spots without having to learn them. He knew exactly what you needed to have you falling apart on his mouth in minutes.

"Oh god--Steve, please--don't stop, baby--please."

He loved hearing you beg, especially in that tone. He could practically hear the pleasure dripping from your voice as your arousal dripped into his mouth. He wanted to hear the sounds you made as you came, so he sped up his movements, silently begging you to soak his face.

And soak his face you did. You came with a cry of his name, juices pouring into his mouth as he continued to lap at your core. His tight grip on your thighs kept you from squirming out of his grip until he decided he was finished tasting you.

When he finally let you go, you collapsed on the bed beside him. "Good lord, Steve," you said breathlessly. "Where the hell did you learn to do that?"

He was still licking his lips as he rolled over to look at you. "Would you laugh if I said 'the internet'?"

Your head snapped to the left to look at him. "You learned how to eat my pussy like that from the internet?"

He could hear the incredulity in your voice and it made him blush with pride, and maybe a little embarrassment at hearing you say the word 'pussy'. "So I did alright?"

You grabbed his face and held him still. "Baby, you were amazing."

His blush only deepened. "Thanks, doll."

"Thank you," you teased warmly.

He chuckled lightly. "Is it okay if I'm not done with you yet?"

You grinned. "I'd be upset if you were."

He grinned back and rolled on top of you, wedging himself comfortably between your thighs. He looked down at you, eyes taking in your beautifully disheveled appearance. "You're so gorgeous," he whispered reverently.

Now it was your turn to blush under his appreciative gaze. His fingers ghosted over the scar on your side, a look of sadness crossing his features. Much to your surprise, his hand kept moving and his expression lost any trace of sorrow. While he hated seeing a scar mar you perfect skin, it served as a reminder of your strength.

His hands gently traced the tattoo on your collarbone and shoulder, eyes following the path as he moved. You couldn't help the shiver that raced through your body at his touch, the need for him pooling in your belly once again.

"Baby?"

"Hmm?" he hummed in response, eyes still on your body.

"I need you," you whispered.

His eyes shot to yours instantly, cock twitching at the need in your voice. "What do you need me to do, sweet girl?"

You bit your lip as you looked up at him, suddenly feeling shy. You had no issue demanding what you wanted from your partner, but Steve was different. He was softer, gentler, more innocent than anyone you'd ever been with. The coarse way you usually talked in the bedroom didn't feel quite right with him, so you tried a much softer approach.

"I wanna feel you inside me, baby," you murmured. "I ache for you."

Steve groaned lowly. "Anything you want, doll."

He lined himself up with your entrance and looked up at you for confirmation before slowly entering your core. He could see the pain on your face, despite the moans coming from your mouth, and it hurt him more than he'd care to admit.

"I'm sorry, doll," he whispered, placing soft kisses all over your face. "I know it hurts, sweet girl. I'll go slow--I'm sorry."

You loved how much this man cared about you, how gentle he wanted to be. It warmed your heart, but you didn't want him to think that you couldn't handle the stretch...this wasn't your first rodeo, so you knew the pain would quickly subside.

"Look at me," you said firmly, hands reaching down to grab at Steve's hips.

He looked at you, concern etched onto his handsome face.

"I can handle a little pain, Steve." Your hands slid to his ass. "I need to feel you inside of me and I need it now." You dug your fingers into him and pulled his lower body towards you, forcing his cock farther into you.

Your demands, mixed with the incredible feeling of being inside of you, urged Steve to plunge the rest of the way into your core. You gasped at the feeling of fullness, hands coming to rest on his biceps.

He was breathing hard already, the feeling of being inside of you was something he could never describe. It was the most pleasure he'd ever experienced and he hadn't even moved yet.

"Make love to me," you begged, a bit of dominance in your voice.

Steve's body reacted completely on its own, hips moving back and forth without thought. The moment he began to move, his brain was so consumed with pleasure that he couldn't think of anything else but you.

"You feel so good, doll. I love being inside you," he moaned into your ear.

Your brain had already began to shut down, blinding pleasure building in your abdomen. The only thing you cared about was reaching your high. "Harder, Steve," you begged.

He was slightly surprised by your demand, but he wasn't going to deny you. His hips began to move faster, slamming into you with more force. He didn't feel like he was giving you what you needed, so he shifted slightly, changing the angle of his thrusts.

You cried out in pleasure, the new angle allowing him to hit a spot so deep inside of you, it was rare a man would find it. "Steve!" you moaned.

Even if he had been completely deaf and blind, he still would have known how much you enjoyed what he was doing by the way your core squeezed him so tightly. He was finding it extremely difficult not to cum, but he would be damned if he came before you. He was a gentleman, after all.

"Baby girl, I need you to cum for me," he whispered.

You were so close, but you needed more. "Talk dirty to me," you begged. Had you been in your right mind, you wouldn't have asked this of him, but your brain was too clouded with pleasure to think straight.

Steve was shocked by your request, but he could see it in your eyes--you needed this. He wasn't accustomed to dirty talk, but he'd be a liar if he said he'd never seen it in porn or read it in a book.

"You're doing so well for me, baby," he said, not sure if he was saying the right thing.

You moaned softly, spurring him on.

"So tight and warm. Squeezing me so good," he murmured.

"So close, baby," you cried.

"Yeah? You like the way my cock feels inside you?"

You nodded rapidly, unable to speak.

"Yeah, I know you do. Making such pretty little sounds for me."

You were about to tip over the edge, legs shaking, head thrown back, moans louder than before.

Steve knew it too...he could tell you were close. He wracked his brain for something else to say--something that would hit you just right.

"That's it pretty girl. This pretty little pussy was made for me. All mine," he growled. He'd be lying if he said it didn't make him a little uncomfortable to say it, but he thought it would do the trick.

You screamed his name, orgasm slamming into you like a freight train. Steve kept thrusting, making sure to help you ride out your orgasm, while also chasing his own.

Moments later, he came deep inside of you, grunting out your name as he filled you with his seed.

You were a shaking mess beneath him once he finished and he pulled out slowly, making sure not to hurt you. He laid on his side beside you and grabbed you around the waist, pulling you tightly against him with your back to his front.

"You okay, doll?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," you said, still trying to catch your breath.

"Good." He was also out of breath, but it took him a lot less time to come back to normal.

Once your breathing had gone back to normal, his body relaxed. He was consumed with the desire to protect you and ensure you were happy and safe. Even the sounds of your labored breathing had his heart clenching in his chest.

"Excellent work with the dirty talk," you said softly. "Sorry I asked you to do that--I--I wasn't thinking straight."

He kissed your shoulder softly. "It's okay, doll. I'll do anything you ask of me. I'm glad I did okay."

"Okay?" you said in surprise, turning to look at him. "That was way better than okay."

He blushed, basking in your appreciation. "Would you laugh if I said it was the best sex of my life?"

You grinned. "I would never laugh, Steve. It's a honor to hold such a title...and also gives me a really good incentive."

"Incentive for what?"

"To do better next time," you teased, kissing him before rolling over so you could face him properly. "And the time after that."

He laughed. "I'll work on the dirty talk too, since I know you like that."

You smiled and touched his face gently. "I know how hard it was for you to say the word 'pussy', but it was hot as hell."

The redness in his cheeks deepened. "That's how you know I really love you. I'm willing to say things I've never said in my life."

"Well you also have a massive praise kink, so that probably factors in."

"A praise kink? What's that?"

You chuckled at his innocence. It was so damn cute. "You know how you liked it when I called you a 'good boy'?"

He groaned at the thought. "I think I remember."

You smiled. "Yeah, that's a praise kink. And the way you reacted to my demands? Kinda submissive...which, is a bit of a change for me, but it's incredibly hot."

"Really?"

You sat up slightly, gesturing to his large form. "Baby, you're a huge, hulking, massive specimen of a man...to have you being so submissive to me, so willing to do anything I ask? It's the biggest turn on I can imagine."

"So you think I'm a huge, hulking, massive specimen of a man?" he teased.

You smacked him lightly and he grabbed you, flipping you under him with ease. He ran his fingers lightly over your skin, tickling you as he moved.

"Oh my god, stop--stop," you said breathlessly, laughter spilling from your lips.

He stopped and his lips met yours in a sweet, loving kiss. "Sorry, doll. You're just so cute, I couldn't help it."

You rolled your eyes jokingly. "You're a dork."

"Mhmm," he hummed. "I'm your dork."

You sighed softly. "Yes you are, and I'm pretty damn lucky."

"Super lucky," he teased.

"Oh so you're a brat too?"

"A brat?"

Your eyes held a dark sparkle in them that intrigued him, but also kind of turned him on.

"Oh baby, I have so much to teach you."

"Can we start now?" he asked lightly, eyes full of mischief and love.

You grinned ear to ear, reaching up to tug his face down to yours. You kissed him deeply, sparking a passionate desire deep within him. He was putty in your hands and you reveled in the feeling of power. But if he asked you for something, you would do it without a second thought...so perhaps you were just as malleable in his hands as he was in yours. In that moment, you decided you wanted to spend the rest of your life finding out.

happy new years...2023

i’m using Internet Explorer, i hope this posts quickly. happy new year 2011

how in the world does this post only have 54 likes.....this is godly master piece 😍 definitely a recommendation 👇

Heart's getting soft (Jake "Hangman" Seresin x fem!reader)

Summary: It felt so nice, so normal. Having you in his arms, as you laughed and chatted with his sisters and mother. For a second, he forgot it was all fake.

A dash of angst, lots of fluff, a little smut, and a Christmas fake-dating trope.

Warnings: dysfunctional families, cursing, friends to lovers, fake dating, bed sharing, slow burn, mutual pining, very brief miscommunication, smut, unprotected p in v, very brief oral (f receiving), fingering, breeding kink, not beta'd.

A/N: Finally! I started this thing back in November but anytime I opened the draft I just kept staring at it. It's finished!! I didn't plan on this being so long, but oh well. There's still 1 day left of my 700 follower celebration

Wordcount: 18K

There weren't many things that left Lieutenant Jake Seresin terrified. Fear was a pretty unfamiliar word for him. He was raised not to be afraid of anything.

When he was four years old and cried in his parents’ room, because he heard a noise at night, his father scolded him.

Men don’t cry.

When he fell and scraped his knees, he swallowed the whimpers that were threating to escape and stood up, acting as if the blood trickling down his leg didn’t bother him at all.

You’re weak. I didn’t raise you like that.

When he was 17 and the girl he was dating broke his heart, he never showed it. He told her she couldn’t possibly hurt him, if he never loved her to start with. She couldn’t see through his lie. She couldn't see the broken pieces of his heart lying on the floor.

Love is pathetic. It makes you weak.

When his best friend’s plane was almost shot down, his eyes started tearing up and his throat got tight. He blinked the tears away, without anyone even noticing they were there in the first place. He never showed fear in front of anyone else, instead he bottled all of his emotions up. Javy was okay, after all. What was there to cry about?

Emotions were a weakness and he wasn’t supposed to be weak.

He didn’t fear heights, instead enjoying the rush of adrenaline he felt anytime he was up in the sky. He didn’t fear death, after so many brushes with it. He knew everyone would die one day and he seemingly made peace with it. Yes, there were still some things on his bucket list he wanted to experience, but he felt like he still had so much time to do them. There was no rush.

But one thing that still made the hairs on the back of his neck stand, his heart drum wildly in his ears and his blood run cold, was his father.

Commander William Seresin was a tough man.

He never cried, wanting to keep the image of this heartless, cold monster, because he thought that would make people respect him. He never told his children he loved them, never hugged them, never showed positive emotions. How else would they learn discipline? Love won't teach them to be tough.

Commander Seresin wasn’t a good father, he was far from it.

How can a father make his own children feel so worthless? He always hid his insults behind “words of encouragement”, because he wanted his children to be the best.

You should be better. This isn't anything to be proud of.

As if that made hearing those words any easier.

For this very reason Christmas was a sore subject to Jake. He didn’t spend it with his family since he moved away from home when he was 18.

He missed his mother’s cooking and decorating the gingerbread house with his sisters. He missed sitting around the Christmas tree and watching those dumb Hallmark movies in the living room, even if he complained the whole time.

His mother was pleading with him, begging him to come home this year. He had his answer ready, on the tip of his tongue: I have a mission, I won’t be able to make it there for Christmas. But hearing his mother’s desperation made his heart clench painfully.

So now here he was, having a dilemma, and there was only one person that could comfort him. You.

You and Jake met back at Top Gun all those years ago. You didn’t start off as friends. Hell, he was sure you wanted to punch him any time he as much as looked at you.

Jake was an arrogant asshole, everyone knew that. So of course he started out by teasing you and flirting with you. You didn’t take his shit and humbled him. And as hard as it was for him to admit, he’s been whipped ever since. At first it was just a stupid crush, one that made him feel like a 13 year old, who kept twirling her hair and giggling as she wrote in her pink little diary with one of those fluffy pens.

But then the years went by, without hearing much about you. He thought his luck has run out and he wasn't going to see you again. It's not like he could just reach out to you. You weren't exactly friends.

And then you got called back for the mission. After so many years, you met again at Top Gun. You were just as beautiful as before, just as feisty, but something changed. You were softer when you spoke to him, welcoming. You still bickered like children sometimes and teased each other, but you also became somewhat of a safe haven for each other. Without ever saying it out loud.

Somewhere along the line, after things started to blur between friendship and something more, he fell in love with you. You did too, but Jake was a blind man. He never believed someone like you could ever want someone so broken. If he only knew you had so much more in common, that you were just as broken, he might have changed his mind.

That didn't mean he didn't hope. His eyes lit up anytime you hugged him, or called him over to your place to watch a movie and cuddle. He felt like he was going into cardiac arrest anytime you were near him. He’s pretty sure everyone figured it out by now; not like he could do much to hide it anyway.

Jake’s tired mind wasn’t able to catch up with how fast his legs took him to your house. You didn’t know about Jake’s family issues, nor his own. But just being close to you could bring him a peace of mind like nothing else could.

He found you sitting on your terrace, in a warm Christmas sweater with Rudolph on it, what he presumed was hot chocolate in your hands and a fluffy blanket wrapped around you to protect you from the cold. You looked so cute. He smiled unconsciously, before he realized he was staring at you. He cursed under his breath, realizing just how fucked he was. Running a hand down his face, he walked up to you.

When you finally noticed him, you grinned, pulling up the blanket so he could sit down next to you.

“Hi.” Jake swore his heart skipped a beat, hearing your tired, soft voice.

“Hi, Angel.” you smiled, rolling your eyes affectionately at your callsign.

Of course, you got it from Jake. He was always teasing you with cheesy nicknames, but for some reason, this one stuck. You were mad at him at first, but you got over that with time. He found the death stares you gave him absolutely adorable.

He still kept telling people, very proudly, that he gave you your callsign.

Jake sat down next to you, pulling you closer to him, wrapping the blanket around the both of you. You handed him your cup and he took a sip.

“God, how can you drink that?” he asked, grimacing. He knew you had a sweet tooth, but this was too much, even for you.

“It’s hot chocolate, Jake.” you scoffed.

“It’s too sweet.”

“It is not.” you protested. He loved how defensive you got over the smallest things. Teasing you was always fun.

“You’re gonna get diabetes.”

“Well, it will be worth it.” He shook his head at your antics, but his smile gave him away.

A comfortable silence took over, before Jake frowned, looking at you. “What are you doing out here?”

“It's supposed to snow.”

“So you decided to freeze your ass off?"

“Why do you always have to ruin my fun?” you pouted, trailing your nails down his chest, the action making Jake’s heart beat faster. It was unbelievable how easily you turned him on. He had to bite his tongue in order not to tell you how much he wanted to take you on this fucking bench, before he ruined everything.

“I mean look at it, it’s beautiful.” you said, nodding your head towards the view in front of you. Jake hummed, running a hand down your arm.

You started telling him about the movie that you watched, which you thought he would also enjoy. Small things like this always made his heart leap, knowing that you were thinking about him just as much as he was thinking about you.

But halfway through he stopped listening to you, instead turning his face to look at the sky. The moon was full, illuminating the street even through the slight fog. Every house on the street was decorated with Christmas lights, some more than the other, and he realized how right you were. It was indeed beautiful. He didn’t think there was anywhere he’d rather be than here with you in his arms, right now.

When he didn't respond, you realized he wasn’t listening to you, and although you wanted to be offended, you sensed there was something bothering him. Jake didn’t want to admit it to anyone, but you sometimes knew him better than he knew himself.

“Okay, talk.” you said, putting the hot chocolate (that was now cold) on the table, turning your body towards Jake. He whined at the loss of your body warmth against him, reaching his hand out to pull you close again. You sat farther away from him, dodging his attempt, and gave him a stern look.

Jake sighed. “Talk about what?”

Your gaze softened when you heard his defensive tone. “What’s going on, Jake?”

“What do you mean? Nothing is going on.” He deliberately avoided looking into your eyes, hoping you wouldn’t push it. But you just looked at him, your eyebrow raised, your face screaming something along the lines of Cut the shit. He still didn’t know how you figured him out so easily.

“My mom wants me to go to Texas for Christmas.” he said quietly, so quietly you almost missed it.

Although Jake didn’t talk about his family, you could sense there was some tension. Anytime his father was brought up, his jaw clenched, his eyes void of emotions. It was just a fleeting moment, so short you wouldn’t have even noticed, if your eyes weren’t always on him.

“And you don’t want to?” you asked, shuffling closer to him.

Jake let out a humourless chuckle. “Not really.”

“Why not?” you asked, instantly noticing how his body tensed next to you. You winced, regretting your previous question. You didn’t want to push him too much, scared that he would just build those walls you were pretty sure you already knocked down back up. “If I’m pushing, you don’t have to answer.”

“No, it’s-it’s fine.” he let out a shaky breath, running his hands through hair.

“I don’t really have a good relationship with my father. He’s not really the loving parent type, y’know?” If that wasn’t an understatement.

“Yeah, I get that.” you said, thinking back to your own parents. You knew exactly what he meant. “You don’t have to go. You can just make something up.” You reached your hand out to wrap it around his wrist, rubbing his skin with your thumb.

Jake nodded. “I know, I thought about that. But my mum will be sad and I haven’t spent Christmas with them in years.”

You hummed. “How can I help?”

Jake caught your hand, intertwining your fingers with his, still avoiding your eyes. “I didn’t come here because of this, I just-“ He couldn’t find the right words to express how much you helped him without even knowing it. “You-“

“I what?” You caressed his hand with your thumb, hoping to soothe him. You knew Jake was shit with words, especially when it came to talking about his emotions. Sometimes he got frustrated with himself for it and you wanted to let him know that it was okay.

“There's just something about you that makes me forget about everything else when I'm with you." You looked at him, a little surprised at his admission. He turned to look at you, knocking your knees together. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice I always come to you after a hard day or if neither of us can sleep.”

You smiled softly, your heart clenching in your chest with the affection you felt towards this man. “I did notice. I’m honoured.”

You bit your lip, thinking about something. “Would it help if I was there with you?”

You spending Christmas with him? He would definitely say yes. You spending Christmas with him and his mother and sisters? He would also say yes. You spending Christmas in his childhood home, with him and his whole family, which included his father? Hard pass. The last thing he wanted was for you to find out what kind of a childhood he had, so you had just another reason to write him off as a lost case. As if he didn't already give you enough of them.

Jake shook his head. “I couldn’t ask you to do that. Don’t you have plans with your family?”

You sighed. “You’re not the only one who’s family sucks.”

“I’m sorry.” he said sincerely. You did mention that you weren't on the best terms with them, but he didn't know it was so bad you weren't even going home for Christmas.

If you weren't spending Christmas with family, would you be spending it alone? Maybe he should tell his mom that white lie and just stay with you. Hang a few mistletoes around the house so he could kiss you at least once and then laugh it off afterwards.

You shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s okay. If I have to deal with your issues, at least I can ignore mine.”

Jake pouted at you, acting offended. “Mean.”

You grinned. “I am.”

As much as he would've loved to say yes, he shook his head. “Still. You don’t know what you’d be getting into.”

You rolled your eyes, exasperated. “Jake. Just answer the question.”

He sighed. “Yes, it would help me immensely if your cute ass was there to calm me down.”

“Then I can come.”

“What should I even tell them? Hey this is my friend Y/N, she’s here because I don’t want to deal with dad’s bullshit alone this year?” That sounded ridiculous and weak. His father wouldn't even let him step through the threshold if he told them that. 

“Lie and tell them I’m your girlfriend. We’ve been dating for a while, but you didn’t want to tell them unless we knew it was serious.” Jake was taken aback a bit at how quickly you came up with a cover story, before he even really realized what you said. You wanted to play his girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. Which meant there would be hand holding and hugging. Not that you've never done that. But you've never done that while pretending to be his girlfriend.

This would be different. And maybe...maybe he would finally get to kiss you. But now wasn't a good time to think about all the things he'd like to do to you as part of your little plan.

Oh, you were good. It was getting harder and harder to say no.

You sensed that he was contemplating, thinking about this whole thing. You knew Jake enough to know what would work on him. “Tell them I don’t have anyone to spend Christmas with either. And since you’re such a lovely boyfriend, you don’t want to leave me alone, so you’re bringing me home with you.”

Jake groaned, closing his eyes. “God, you’re so good at scheming. It’s so hot.”

You giggled, the sound stirring something deep inside him. He wanted to make you laugh all the time. 

Jake sighed then, finally nodding. “Okay. I will call my mom tomorrow.” It's not like your suggestion was so bad. He just hoped it wouldn't end in a catastrophe. He looked at you one last time, wanting to make sure that you thought this through. “Are you really sure you want to do this?”

“Absolutely.” He looked at you, still not convinced. “Let me be a little selfish." You smiled softly, sadness passing through your eyes for only a brief second. "I don’t want to be alone either.”

“You won’t have to be ever again.” When you looked into his eyes, you knew he meant it. You looked down at your intertwined hands, your cheeks flushing with warmth.

Both of you stood up, as the night got a little colder. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a warm hug. “Thank you, sweetheart.” You buried your face into his chest, inhaling his cologne that you loved so much, before finally saying goodbye. You watched as he walked away, disappearing into the night.

That night, Jake lied awake in his bed, unable to sleep, his mind too occupied with you. He thanked the Gods he didn't even believe in, and his lucky star, that he got to meet you.

The next morning, Jake woke up to a text from you, reminding him to call his mother. He smiled, sending you a short response.

Javy, like the amazing friend he was, was hyping him up through text messages, reassuring him that this was an amazing idea. Wasn't spending time with you alone exactly what Jake craved?

Maybe Javy also had a selfish reason for doing this. He just couldn't watch you two dance around each other without either of you making a move, while Jake whined about how much he liked you. It was becoming unbearable to the point he was thinking about spilling Jake's biggest secret to you in order to help his friend (and himself).

Jake clicked on his mom's contact, finger hovering over the call button. He found at least 20 reasons why this was a bad idea and 20 reasons on why this could go terribly. But those 10 reasons on why you playing his fake girlfriend was the best plan you ever came up with were enough for him. There was no one else he would want to do this with. So he called her and waited anxiously, before she picked up. 

“Jake, sweetheart. Is everything alright?” He could hear the worry in her voice, which made him smile. 

“Hi, mom. Everything’s fine.” he reassured her, making her let out a breath. “Oh, good. Made me panic a little bit there.”

She always worried. He might've been an adult, old enough to take care of himself, but that didn't mean her mind was at ease. Jake could still remember her cries when he told her he was joining the Navy.

At least one of his parents cared.

“Don’t worry, everything’s fine. Just wanted to ask you something.” 

“What is it, honey?”

“I was wondering if I could bring someone home.” Jake closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead. Why was it so hard to say those words out loud? He practiced those exact words so many times in the past hour and he still couldn't get them out. Maybe if his father didn't teach him his whole childhood that loving someone would make him vulnerable and that it was a bad thing, maybe then it would be easier.

He sighed shakily. “My girlfriend. I wanted to ask if she could come with me.”

He heard as she took in a sharp breath. Was she shocked that he was dating someone? Was she shocked that he was bringing them home? Or shocked he was going home at all? “Oh, honey. You didn’t even tell me you were dating someone. What’s her name?” He could hear the smile in her voice, which made him smile in return. 

“Her name is Y/N. We’ve been together for a few months, but we wanted to keep it quiet until we figured out where we’re heading.” It's a good thing he got pretty good at lying about anything by now. It came completely natural. At least this lie wasn't going to hurt anyone.

“Oh, of course. Is she not spending Christmas with her family?”

“She doesn’t have anyone to spend Christmas with, mom.”

She cooed sympathetically. “Oh, poor thing. Of course she can spend Christmas here. You never brought anyone home, I’d be so happy to meet her.” I'm happy you're going to meet her too. It's not you I'm worried about.

But Jake knew there was no point in making his mother sad, so he didn't say those words out loud. “That’s great. Thank you, mom. I will tell her that. How are you?”

“We’re getting by, baby. The last few months have been chaotic thanks to our newest family addition.”

Ah, yes. His little nephew, Noah.

“I can’t wait to meet him.” Jake smiled, thinking about the little boy. He got his sister's eyes and her personality. At just two months old, he was already just as stubborn as her.

“I’m glad you’ll be home for Christmas.” His vision blurred slightly as he teared up. “Me too, mom. I have to go now, we will talk later, okay?”

“Bye, honey. Tell your girlfriend I said hi too. Love you.”

“I will. Love you too.” He ended the call, letting out a breath.

That part was done. Now he just needed to make sure both of you would survive the holidays.

“So you’re going home with him for Christmas?” Phoenix asked, while you were sitting and drinking at Hard Deck. Rooster was sitting next to her, munching on some peanuts, giving you a questioning look.

He was way too judgemental for someone who was sitting in a Hawaiian shirt in the middle of December.

“Yeah, why?” you shrugged, acting like it wasn’t a big deal. But it was and you were freaking out. You were about to go to Texas with Jake, meet his family, all while pretending to be his girlfriend.

Rooster and Natasha looked at each other, before giving you the are you serious look.

Rooster spoke up. “That doesn’t sound very friendly.”

Natasha agreed with him. “His parents were okay with him bringing a stranger to their home? On Christmas?”

Oh. Right. You forgot to tell them the most important part. “He told them we’re dating.”

Their eyes widened, mouths hanging open. “What?!”

You rolled your eyes, groaning. You should've guessed they would make a big deal out of it. “I told him to say that, there’s no need to panic, jeez.”

Phoenix turned to Rooster with a smirk. “I bet you 20 that they’re going to fuck at some point.”

“At this speed, it will take them 20 years to get there. You will get a dollar for every year.”

Bradshaw thought he was really fucking funny with that quip. He didn't even realize he was in love with Natasha yet, so you're one step ahead of him.

“Can you guys stop? Me and Jake are friends.” Just friends. Unfortunately, that was true. And it didn't bother you at all. Nope. 

Rooster raised an eyebrow. Were you really that blind? “Friends my ass. You’re way more than friends. Don’t tell me you didn’t think about banging him. I saw how you looked at him when we were on the beach.”

Of course you were drooling when you saw him running in the sand shirtless, skin all shiny as if someone poured a whole bottle of baby oil on him, which made him look like a model during a calendar photoshoot. 

You groaned, exasperated. “He’s hot, you can’t deny that. But you know Jake. He doesn’t do relationships.”

“He didn’t do them before. Have you not noticed that he didn’t sleep with anyone for months now?” Matter of fact, you did notice. You kept looking at him at the end of every night you spent at the Hard Deck and he never once even looked at another woman. Maybe he just got bored of meaningless one-night stands? But Bradley didn't share that opinion. “Unless he's practicing celibacy, I'd say he's waiting for someone special."

“Why wouldn't he tell me then? He's the most confident person I know, if he wanted me he wouldn’t keep that a secret."

Bradley shrugged. “He's probably just as scared to lose you as you are.”

You were about to tell him just how dumb that sounded, because this was Jake you were talking about. Jake, who wasn't scared of anything. But what if there was at least a small chance that they were right? Before you could overthink it, Rooster spoke up again. “Anyways, we will see after you come back. Trust me, there is something going on there.”

Natasha smirked teasingly. “Pack some pretty lingerie, I feel like you will need it.”

“Fuck off.” you grumbled. 

That's when Jake walked over to the table, putting down your drinks. “Did I miss something?”

You shook your head, sending your annoying friends a death glare. “They're just being asses.”

“Say the word and I will fight them.” Nat and Bradley looked at each other, as Jake wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

“My hero. But there's no need for violence.” Jake grinned at you, before getting into a conversation with Rooster.

Natasha nudged you with her foot under the table, while you shrugged innocently.

Throughout the days leading up to your flight, Jake was restless. He wanted to make sure everything would be perfect. He warned his family not to bring up any embarrassing stories, hide all the baby pictures, not be too pushy or overbearing. Everyone reassured him that it would be okay. They never saw Jake like this, so concerned about what someone else might think of him. His mom teased him, telling him how cute it was. 

And then there was you. He wanted to make sure you weren't nervous, or that you didn't change your mind. So the next step was to talk about boundaries and make up a story on how you got together, all while hoping that one day, he could take you home and you wouldn't have to pretend anymore. 

"So, I assume we can do all the things we usually do, like hugs, hand holding and cuddling?" Jake asked, sitting on your couch as you both ate the take-out he brought. You nodded in agreement. That wasn't too much PDA. You could definitely do that.

Jake hummed, digging his fork into the rice. "What about kissing?" he asked, looking at you to gauge your reaction.

You stopped chewing, as you looked up at him with wide eyes. "Kissing?"

He shrugged. "Cheek kisses, forehead kisses. Maybe a small peck here and there." You were just imagining what it would be like, finally being able to feel his lips against yours, when you felt his foot nudge yours to bring you back to reality. "But if you want we can fully make out in my room, I don't mind."

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. But you agreed to the kisses anyway. How could you not?

"And how did we get together?"

"Obviously, you fell in love with me as soon as we met the first time years ago. After lots of begging from your side, I relented and finally went on a date with you." He grinned at you, wiggling his eyebrow.

You scoffed, shaking your head. "Not a chance in hell you're telling that to someone."

Jake laughed but nodded. It didn't take him long to come up with a better story. "We met again after a couple years and I finally had the balls to tell you I've had it bad for you since we met for the first time." If only the whole sentence was true.

You nodded, smiling a little. "Yeah. That's a good story."

After that night the days went by in a blur, before the calendar was showing the big X, the day of your flight.

You were squeezing his hand the whole flight, trying to take his mind off the things that made his thoughts race. But before either of you knew it, the taxi was turning into the street, his house visible in the distance. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” you reassured, giving him a soft smile. If his heart wasn't already beating out of his chest, it would definitely sped up right at this moment. You were almost there. Inside his childhood home, where his parents and siblings would all meet you and welcome you with open arms. Except for his dad. And isn't that exactly what he's been terrified of since you brought this up? It's terrifying, knowing that you might look at him differently once you find out what kind of a person his father is. 

The car stopped in front of a big 2 story house, decorated from top to bottom. Jake took in a shaky breath, squeezing your hand briefly. “We’re here.” 

He handed the money to the driver, as you both got out. Like a gentleman, he took your luggage, and lead you inside. 

You heard the rushed footsteps coming towards you, before you saw his mom standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes. "Oh, I can't believe you're here." She hugged her son, as you quietly watched, taking in the peaceful expression on Jake's face. You knew he missed his family. He talked about them a lot. You were glad you could be here to support him as much as you could.

His mom pulled away, looking at you. "Mom, this is my girlfriend Y/N." Jake introduced you with a smile. 

"It's so nice to finally meet you." you said politely.

As it turns out, the Seresin's are huggers. "Come here." She pulled you into a tight hug, before looking you over. "I'm so glad my son brought you home." 

"I'm glad I can be here, Mrs. Seresin." you said, hoping you were making a good first impression. You really wanted them to like you.

"Call me Pam." She waved her hand with a chuckle. "Go and unpack. I prepared everything you might need, but if I forgot anything just let me know."

"Thank you, mom." She nodded, looking at her son one last time, before leaving you two.

"Come on, sweetheart." Jake took your luggage and lead you upstairs into his room.

You whistled, surprised at how not-Jake his room was. "I definitely imagined your room with a bit more playboy posters."

Jake put his hand on his heart, acting insulted. "How judgemental of you." 

If his father wasn't so strict, he definitely would have had them, but you didn't need to know that.

You took your time to look at all the medals hanging on his wall back from his school days, before looking at the only picture he had framed in his room. It was of him and his sisters, back when they were younger. You smiled, putting the picture back down, before unpacking your stuff.

Jake kept stealing glances at you, still in disbelief that you were really here, in his home. He was about to spend Christmas with you. 

Once you were done, you went back downstairs to wait for his sister. Jake made you sit down on the couch, after his mom assured you she didn't need any help in the kitchen. He brought you a tray of cookies, as you quietly watched some Christmas cartoon playing on the TV. 

The door opened, both of you looking up when you heard someone complaining under their breath about the snow. You instantly recognized Jessica from the pictures Jake showed you. Jake took your hand, both of you standing up to walk over to her.

She looked up, her eyes twinkling with the reflection from the Christmas lights. She had a big smile on her face, showing her excitement. Jake let go of your hand to hug her, but she shooed him away, looking at you expectantly. 

Jake rolled his eyes. He knew his sister would instantly love you, why was it surprising that she was more excited to meet you than to see him? “Jess, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. Y/N, this is my younger sister, Jessica.”

You smiled at her, a little unsure if you should shake her hand or hug her. So instead, you just stood there awkwardly. “It's so nice to meet you.”

Luckily, she didn't seem to mind. Instead she took charge, walking towards you with open arms. “Oh, come here.” She hugged you tightly, like she was really looking forward to this. Which was surprising considering that Jake only told them that you were dating two weeks ago. “It's nice to meet you too. I can't believe he kept you away from us for so long!” she looked at her brother, scolding him, before she let you go to hug him. 

“I had my reasons.” Jake whispered, not wanting to think about that right now. He was just happy to see his little sister.

She sighed, nodding with a sad look in her eyes. “I know you did.”

She turned back to look at you, while taking off her coat and scarf. “How are you finding Texas?”

“It's nice.” 

“She's lying, she hates Texas.” You rolled your eyes, silently thanking Jake for throwing you under the bus like that. Traitor. He just couldn't let go of that time when you told him (after way too many tequila sunrises, so it's not like that should count) that you despised his accent, country music, cowboys, and all of Texas.

One of those was a lie and that was his accent. You only said you despised it because you didn't want him to know the effect it had on you.

Also the cowboy thing, was maybe half a lie. He was wearing that stupid fucking cowboy hat and looking so good, it took a lot of self-control not to do what Big & Rich were saying. You didn't really know where you would find a horse to save, but you had already picked the cowboy you wanted to ride. 

And okay, maybe you didn't hate country as much as you said, especially when Carrie Underwood was playing. You knew some of her songs word for word. But he didn't need to know any of that. 

She scowled jokingly. “How did he convince you to get together with him, then?”

“His good looks and charm?” If she only knew that the only reason you became such good friends was because her brother was absolutely unbearable and wouldn't leave you alone and maybe you kind of liked it. And now, years later, you weren't strong enough to resist his charm.

Just then, a man walked through the door, holding a baby car seat. Jake shook his hand, exchanging a few words, before Jess introduced him to you. “This is my fiancé David and our son, Noah. David, this is Jake’s girlfriend, Y/N.”

“It's nice to meet you. She hasn’t stopped squealing the whole way here, she couldn’t wait to meet you.” You laughed, happy that Jake's family was so welcoming and kind. You heard a small cry coming from the car seat, as you both finally looked at the baby. He was covered in a fluffy blanket, only his little face visible. Both you and Jake cooed, as you saw his little pout transform into a grimace, before his cries got louder. 

You wrapped an arm around Jake's torso, leaning your head on his shoulder. “He's so adorable.”

Jess chuckled, shaking her head. “Want to borrow him for a day?”

“If you guys want to have a night off, you can leave him with us.” Jake offered, looking at you for approval, as you nodded. 

“Okay, we're definitely taking advantage of that offer.” 

David nodded, grinning. “As cute as he is, we're exhausted.”

Jess looked a you pointedly. "We should definitely have a girls night. Leave the kid to the men, go out, have fun. Drink.” 

Pamela walked in, interjecting. “If Jake can let go off her for more than 5 minutes, that is.”

All of you laughed, except for Jake, who found it very not-funny. “Stop.”

His mom shrugged. “It's true. The poor girl hasn’t had a second to breathe since they arrived.”

Everyone slowly left the hall, leaving you two behind. 

Jake groaned, burying his face into your neck. “I'm regretting this already.” His breath tickled you, making you squirm in his arms as you laughed. 

“I'm not. They're nice.”

He sighed, pulling away from you slightly. “Yeah they are.” 

You could feel how tense he was the whole time, knowing he dreaded the second his father would walk through that door. Your heart broke for him, as you wanted nothing more than to hold him in your arms and comfort him.

You held his face in your hands, making him look at you. “Hey, everything's gonna be fine. I'm here.” He nodded reluctantly, really wanting to believe your words. 

“Come and eat, you're probably all starving.” Pamela shouted, getting your attention. 

You walked to the dining room, before Jake spoke up. "We're not waiting for dad?"

She shook her head. "No. He said we should start without him."

You sat down next to Jake, who reached out to hold your hand under the table, making you smile. You all chatted, as everyone kept asking you all about your relationship. 

It felt so nice, just sitting there with Jake. You got a glimpse into what it would be like to be his girlfriend and you loved every second of it.

The laughter died down when the front door opened, all of the Seresin's getting uncharacteristically quiet. 

You saw the change in Jake the second his father walked in. He pulled away his hand from yours, his smile vanished, his relaxed posture became tense as he straightened out, almost like the person wasn't even his father, but his superior in the Navy. It made sense. He did mention he followed in his father's footsteps. Just like he mentioned that he was a Commander. You should've realized this sooner from everything he told you. Jake probably never had a father, a parental figure. Instead he had a military man, who wanted to form a mini-me out of his child. A perfect soldier. 

Which was why he wanted to be perfect at everything, why he was the most competitive person you ever met. Why it was so hard for him to let anyone in. 

He didn't want anyone to see how imperfect he truly was. If only he know that was exactly what you all loved about him. Hangman was a selfish, egoistical bastard. Definitely someone his father would be proud of. But Jake Seresin was the sweetest, kindest human, with the biggest heart. That's why you fell in love with him. 

You frowned when you saw his jaw clench, wanting to reach out, so he would know he's not alone. But you were scared he would get defensive and that would only hurt and embarrass you. So instead you just gave him space, hoping that he would tell you if he needed you. 

His father walked towards his seat, sitting down. Jake gulped, swallowing the nerves, before speaking up. “Dad, this is my girlfriend Y/N. Y/N, this is my father.” His voice wasn't soft or carefree like a few minutes before. It was monotone, almost harsh.

His father finally looked at you two, eyeing you quietly.

“It's nice to meet you, sir.” you smiled, lying through your teeth. You were sure he knew that though, if not even his children were happy to see him. 

William hummed, but didn't do anything else to acknowledge you. He looked at his son, sneering. “I'm surprised you’ve found someone that wants to put up with you.”

The fake smile on your face disappeared, your blood boiling as the man sitting opposite you started to eat his dinner as if he didn't just insult his child. What a piece of shit. 

You could feel your heartbeat ringing in your ear, too scared to look at Jake. You didn't want to see the heart-broken look on his face. But once you had enough courage to face him, what you saw was even worse. Your Jake was gone, in his place was sitting a man drained of any emotion, his face blank, almost like he was detached from reality. Cold and distant. 

It almost made you cry, with how much your heart ached.

You decided to reach out your hand, intertwining your pinkies. His finger twitched, making you think he would hold your hand, but he didn't make any move. He just sat there, staring ahead. 

It was a defence mechanism he developed in his childhood. Act like you don't feel anything, make everyone else believe you don't feel anything and maybe one day, you can make yourself believe that it doesn't hurt.

Everyone continued to eat their dinner in silence, except for Jake. He couldn't eat, feeling like he was going to throw up any second. He could already picture it; once you got up to his room, you would tell him that this was too much for you. There was no way you could ever love someone like him. He was going to lose you. 

You hoped the tension would die down eventually, but his father didn't share your sentiment. 

"You would think that at thirty years old, you would at least have a higher rank. As my son, it's your duty to make your family proud. You need to be better." he grumbled bitterly, disdain coating his voice. "I didn't raise you all to be disappointments." Did this man hate his own children for him to talk to them like this?

You really tried to bite your tongue and keep it in, but you couldn't. Not when you heard how he talked to his own son. So you took a breath, trying to keep your voice steady, but to no avail. You were too angry for that. “Your son was one of the top 12 graduates from Top Gun. He has 2 confirmed kills.” you said through gritted teeth, your voice laced with venom. “He's an amazing pilot and an even better person.” You hoped Jake knew how much you meant that. 

You stood up, trying to form a smile as you looked at his mom apologetically, before looking back at that poor excuse of a father. "If you will excuse me. I lost my appetite." 

You needed to calm down, before you ruined anything even more. But you had more than enough things you still wanted to say. 

As soon as you were out the door, Jake's fist clenched, nails digging into his palm, as he looked at his father with anger. "Can I be dismissed?" 

He nodded, before making sure he knew he already formed an opinion about you. "You should teach your girlfriend some manners." Jake knew what that meant. He couldn't even keep his girlfriend in line? What kind of a man was he?

Jess joined the argument, having much less patience than her brother. She didn't try to keep her voice low like him, didn't try to hide the tears in her eyes. At least she learned how to handle her emotions, unlike him. "She's right and you know it. You should learn to appreciate your children before you end up all alone." 

"Like there would be anything to miss." his father said, without any anger in his voice, which was felt even worse. It meant he has already given up on them.

Of course. One of his daughters had a child out of wedlock. His other daughter was dating a woman. And his only son wasn't man enough in his eyes.

Jake stood up from the table abruptly, knocking his glass over. His hand was shaking, jaw clenched as he tried to control himself, before he did something he would regret. Instead he tried to think about you, about what you've done for him. He looked at his sister, to make sure she was okay. She nodded for him to go, as she also stood up from the table, before he left. 

The door to the room opened and you heard Jake’s footsteps coming closer and closer to you. Your back was turned to him, as you watched the snow that was falling. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice hushed.

Was he really asking you if you were okay? You sighed, turning to face him. “I’m sorry for that. I just couldn’t listen to him berate you.” You lasted exactly two minutes. Not too bad. Usually, you would have been much harsher if someone insulted the people you cared about.

“Come here.” he said, outstretching his hand. You hesitated for a second, before taking his hand and stepping closer towards him. Jake pulled you into his arms, your palm coming to rest on his chest to feel his steady heartbeat. His hand came to rest on the side of your face, thumb caressing your cheek softly. “I’m not mad at you, okay? Don’t think that even for a second.” he assured you.

“You stood up for me, that was…” He could never find the right words. But they weren't needed. You understood. You always did. 

“Of course I stood up for you. He was talking bullshit. You’re great at what you do, Jake. You know that. Don’t second guess yourself.”

He smiled, kissing your forehead. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”

No matter how dysfunctional his family was, you knew there was no place you would rather be than here with him. “Me too.”

As it turns out, his father barely stayed at the house. The marriage between Jake's parents had been crumbling for years, the love long gone. 

The good thing was, after you and Jake calmed down, you could return to the living room knowing that his father would be gone.

You were ready to apologize to everyone as soon as you stepped in, but they didn't even acknowledge what happened at dinner. 

Jessica looked up, Noah in her arms. "Look who woke up." She stood up, walking towards you two. "Wanna hold him?" She looked between you and Jake, waiting for you to decided who should hold him first. 

You looked at Jake, nodding at him. "He's your nephew."

"And you're my girlfriend." Jake grinned, the word rolling off his tongue with ease. He loved the feeling in his chest whenever he called you that. He also loved the way you looked up at him with wide eyes, flustered. "You can hold him first."

You nodded. "Hi." You took the baby into your arms, sitting down on the couch with him. You booped his little nose, while he looked at you with wide eyes, mouth open as he let out little gurgling sounds. "You're so cute!" He grinned at you, as if he understood what you just said. You caressed his chubby little cheek with your finger, feeling content just sitting there with the little one.

Jake watched as you cradled little Noah in your arms, his little fingers wrapped around your finger. As if he needed another thing to add to the list of things that make him soft for you. He was whipped. He could hear Javy's voice in his head, the one that was always telling him to finally make a move. But what good would it do if you would kill him soon anyway? Because if you kept looking at him with those eyes, while grinning at him, his heart would eventually give out. 

“You're in love.” Jessica teased, coming up from behind him suddenly. 

“What?” he scoffed with an incredulous laugh. Was he really that transparent?

Who was he kidding? Of course he was.

Jess knew her brother. He never looked at anyone the way he was looking at you. But she also knew how hard it was for him to accept his feelings. He never knew how to handle them. She hoped he would realize he deserved to be loved, just like everyone else. And if there was one person that could make him realize that, it was you. You were strong and stubborn, keeping Jake in line. It was like you were made for each other. 

She had half a mind to just let it go, knowing that Jake wouldn't admit it, but decided against it. There was no fooling anyone. “I've seen the heart eyes you've been giving her.”

“Well, she looks good with a kid on her arm.” That at least wasn't a lie.

Jess smirked, a knowing look in her eyes. “You just wish it was your kid, don’t you?”

Jake shook his head, but the smile on his face was enough to prove her right. “Maybe in a few years.”

Her smirk softened into a smile, as she patted his shoulder. “You would be a good dad.”

He looked at her, surprised. “You think so?”

“I know. You always took care of us. Of me, Kim, mom. You wouldn't be like him. I know that."

He didn't really think about fatherhood that much, but when he did, he thought about his own father. Jake's biggest fear was always that he would turn out to be like him. What if he became a coward like him? What if he couldn't love his child right? What if his kid grew up to hate him? Hearing those words coming from his sister meant more to him than she would know. “Thank you.”

She smiled at him, before nodding in your direction. “Go after your girl, she looks like she needs the help.” Jake looked at you, chuckling when he saw you trying to pry your hair out of Noah's hands. 

"Need some help, baby?" Your heart almost burst out of your chest at the nickname, while Jake, oblivious to all that, reached out to help you untangle your hair from Noah's fingers. 

"Thank you. You wouldn't believe the strength these babies have." Jake wrapped an arm around your waist, leaning into your side. "Here, hold him." You handed the little boy over to Jake and regretted it instantly. 

Did seeing Jake with a baby make your hormones go crazy? Did it make you feel absolutely feral, because you wanted him to put his baby in you, while your heart also beat wildly because it was the most adorable thing you've ever seen? Yes, yes and yes.

You blamed his big, strong arms and the way he used that soft, baby-talk, while holding the little one so carefully, like he was scared he'd break any second. His protective nature always made you a little horny, but god, this was new. It was too much. If he continued on like this, they'd have to sedate you, before you started acting like a rabid dog. 

Jake caught your eye, smiling at you. You hoped he didn't see the drool in the corner of your mouth. 

You were thankful he didn't call you out on your obvious staring, instead, he just smiled at you. "Want to go for a walk?" 

You nodded, as he passed his nephew over to his sister.

Jake took you out to walk around the streets, both of you admiring the beautiful Christmas decorations. He wanted to reach out and hold your hand, or wrap his arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him, but he decided against it. 

Instead he tried to take his mind off of how much he wanted to hold you and started a conversation. “So? Did you enjoy today?” Except for the part where you went toe to toe with his father, of course. 

His soft smile got bigger as soon as he saw your contagious grin as you practically started skipping next to him. “Are you kidding me? Your nephew is the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.”

The words left his mouth before he could stop them. “I bet we could make a cuter one.”

You swore your heart stopped for a second when you heard those words, but you tried to not let it show. You hoped to god it didn’t show. Instead you grinned again, nudging his shoulder with yours. “Wanna be a daddy, Seresin?”

He really had stop getting affected by you so easily, but hearing you say that word…let’s just say he wouldn’t mind hearing it a few more times, in a different situation. Not like talking about you having his baby wasn’t making him feel some type of way either.

He tried to clear his head of the dirty thoughts and get back to the conversation at hand, but with him thinking about you all pretty and round, while pregnant with his child, it was hard.

“Yeah, one day.” he smiled and you could feel the happiness radiating off him as he thought about it. “I always wanted to have kids, a big house, a happy family.” He looked at you for a second, then back at the ground. With you was left unsaid. “Something that I never had.”

You wrapped your arm around his, leaning your head on his shoulder, while continuing to walk. It wasn’t comfortable at all, but you were yearning to be close to him so bad, it didn’t matter.

Jake leaned his head on yours for a second, kissing the top of your hair.

“I’m just not sure if I could be a good parent though.” he sighed. “I didn’t really have the best example growing up.”

You shook your head, squeezing his arm to make him look at you. Both of you stopped walking, turning to fully face each other.

“You’d be amazing.” you reassured him with a smile. “I’ve seen you with Noah. You’re amazing with him.”

“Yeah, but having your own is different after all, isn’t it?”

You nodded. “It is. But I know you, Jake. You just have to let people in. Work past your issues. I feel like you talking to me about this so freely means you’re on a good path.”

He looked at you, not believing that a person like you really existed and chose to be friends with him. Every day you surprised him more and more, and he should’ve gotten used to it by now, but he still couldn’t help but feel surprised about how amazing you were. “You’re so incredible, you know that?”

“I try.” you giggled, the sweetest sound he ever heard. Was there anything he could ever find at least slightly irritating about you?

He pulled you closer to him, his cold fingers caressing your cheek. “You're way too good for them. They don't deserve you.” he said in the softest voice you’ve ever heard him talk in, and you saw the unshed tears glistening in his eyes. It made your heart thump wildly in your chest.

At first you were confused, before you understood who he meant. Your family. What did you do deserve someone like him in your life? You weren’t sure, but you were grateful nonetheless.

You smiled, biting your cheek to stop your lip from wobbling. “Let’s go back inside, I’m freezing.”

Jake nodded, turning around to walk back towards his house, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. He let out a breath, closing his eyes for a second to savour how good it felt to have you this close. “Want me to warm you up in our bed?”

You glared at him jokingly. “Stop pushing your luck.”

The words just kind of went over your head. You haven't really thought about what he meant. Which meant you didn't understood why he was acting so weird once he closed the door to his room behind you.

“So.” Jake started, looking awkwardly around the room, which was very out of character for him.

“So?” you looked at him confused.

He motioned to the bed and you realized why he was acting the way he was. Of course, there was only one bed. Of course, you were going to sleep in one bed, because you were dating. Not like you’ve never shared a bed with friends before. But you were never attracted to those friends.

“Are you cool with sharing?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck. He hoped to god you would be. This was the thing he’s been looking forward to the most. But if you didn’t want to, he’d respect your decision. It’s not like he’d ever do something you weren’t okay with.

You just chuckled, rolling your eyes playfully, trying to act like you weren't about to jump out of your skin. “If you can keep your hands to yourself.”

Jake sighed, looking you up and down. “Can’t promise anything when you look like that.”

You shook your head, turning away to hide your grin from him.

“Wanna take a shower first?” he asked, switching on the light in his en-suite bathroom, before he looked back at you with a smirk. “Or we can share.”

“I will go first. Thanks for the offer though.” You gathered everything you needed, before walking to the bathroom. As soon as the door closed, Jake let out a breath. The day turned out better than he expected. He had you here with him and that was all that mattered. 

Minutes later, you walked out of the shower. Jake wanted to make a joke about how long you were inside and that you probably already used up all the hot water, but the words died on his tongue the second he looked up at you. He felt like a cold shower was exactly what he needed right now. 

You, oblivious to what was going on inside his head, wrapped a towel around your head. “The shower’s all yours.”

Jake stood up, clearing his throat. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

He couldn't look away from you. The way his shirt (which you denied stealing from him after an impromptu sleepover at his place) barely covered your thighs, leaving your legs exposed. He could see your hard nipples through the material, and as you turned around to look for a pair of socks in his drawer, the shirt rid up enough to expose your black panties and your round ass. He had to bite his lip to not let out the groan threating to leave his mouth, as his hands itched to touch your soft skin. 

He walked over to you just as you found the perfect pair of fluffy socks, but instead of heading to the bathroom like you thought, he paused in front of you. He reached for the hem of your shirt, pulling you closer to him. Your legs moved on their own accord, a little wobbly.

He wanted to kiss you, touch you, pull you on top of the bed and show you just how much he wanted you. Goosebumps rose upon your skin, as you rolled your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down. You could hear his heavy breathing, before he swallowed and let go of you. He looked you over one last time before leaving to the bathroom. You were tingling all over, confused, but really turned on. 

How were you going to survive this week?

Once Jake got back, he saw you laying there in his bed, wearing his shirt, looking so cute and hot and his heart and dick both agreed that it was the best sight he's ever seen. 

Meanwhile you were just about to lose your mind, seeing him only in his boxers and knowing that he would be sleeping like that next to you.

He laid down next to you, turning the light off. His arm was behind his head, as he laid on his back, while you were on your side, facing him. 

You cuddled before. He could just shuffle closer to you, pull you into his chest. No big deal.

He turned suddenly, so he was also on his side, before putting his hand on your waist and pulling you closer to him. He could hear your steady heartbeat, as he ran his hand up your bare thigh and side. He inhaled sharply when he heard a small noise coming from you, before clenching his fist into the hem of your shirt.

Your hand was on his warm chest, his heartbeat steady under your palm. You had to fight the urge to ran your hand down his abs, as his soft breathing slowly lulled you to sleep.

The last thing you remember before falling asleep, was Jake pulling you flush against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. 

Waking up in Jake's arms for the very first time felt so good, you were questioning if you were really awake.

When you looked at him, you were mesmerized by how pretty he looked. You were looking at the way his eyelashes kept fluttering softly, when he suddenly spoke up, spooking you slightly. 

“You're staring.” he said, his voice deep and hoarse, as he opened one eye to look at you. 

Flustered, you looked away from him, rolling your eyes. “Can't help it.”

Jake grinned, pulling you closer to him to kiss the top of your head. He hummed, nose brushing along your jaw. "Good morning, beautiful.”

His good mood was contagious and there was no stopping the smile forming on your face. “Morning, handsome.”

“How did you sleep?”

You haven't slept that good in years. His body kept you warm all night, like your personal heater.

“Good, and you?”

Jake sighed, content. “I woke up with the most beautiful woman in my arms, so.”

You had to bury your face in his chest, hoping he wouldn't see how flustered he made you. “Shut up.” You pulled your face away, looking into his eyes when you felt how empty your stomach felt. "Breakfast?" 

Jake thought about it for a second, before he caged you underneath him, careful not to put his whole body weight on you. "Or we could stay here, like this." 

You laughed, wrapping your arms around him, caressing his back. "Until?"

"Forever."

"Forever sounds good." If only it was that easy. You smiled softly, kissing his cheek. You didn't even realize what you did, but Jake did. He was surprised you couldn't feel his heart beating out of his chest. "But I'm hungry."

He groaned, kissing the side of your neck where your face was buried, before standing up. It was your turn to get all worked up over how good his lips felt on your skin, even for that brief second. 

"Stay here." he said, putting on some clothes, before running downstairs. He came back a few minutes later with a tray.

“Breakfast in bed?” you asked, sitting up.

Jake hummed, kissing the top of your head. “My girl deserves the best.”

You smiled, shaking your head, as you both ate, content to just sit with each other in silence. That was the best thing about your friendship with Jake. There was no awkwardness when neither of you talked, you just enjoyed each other's presence.

When you got downstairs, you were instantly ambushed by Jessica and Kim, who arrived in the morning.

Kim gasped, looking you over, before looking at her sister. "You were right, she's gorgeous."

You were looking between them, a little embarrassed, while Jake only stood there, proudly showing you off.

Kim noticed you standing there, playing with the sleeve of your hoodie, before she realized she hasn't even introduced herself. "Oh, I'm sorry, manners. I'm Kim. Welcome to the family." she said, pulling you into a hug, which made you laugh. "Hi, I'm Y/N. It's so good to finally meet you."

"You're telling me!" She pulled away, punching her brother in the shoulder. “Jake talks about you so much. We had a little bet going on about how long it will take him to ask you out.”

Jake talked about you to his family?

Jake froze for a second, his mind going blank. He told them not to bring those things up. "Can you not-"

Kim waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, hush. You're already dating, what does it matter."

“Mom told me about the dinner yesterday." She gave her brother a sad look, before looking at you with an appreciative smile. "What you did was very cool."

You felt Jake’s arm curl around your waist, as he rested his chin on your shoulder. "I just couldn't listen to the bullshit he was saying." You shrugged, like it was no big deal. You had no idea that it meant the world to Jake.

"Still. I'm sure Jake appreciates it." As if to show she was right, he squeezed your hip, before kissing the top of your head affectionately. 

Jess cleared her throat, changing the topic. “Anyways, mom is already planning your wedding. Speaking of which, summer or winter wedding?”

You were taken aback, as you stuttered out a response. “I-I think fall?"

Jess cursed under her breath, turning to leave. “We will have to re-plan everything from the start.”

You looked at Jake with a raised eyebrow. “They're just kidding, right?”

He gave you a look, before taking your hand and leading you to the living room. 

There were presents and wrapping papers scattered across the floor, as Jess and Kim sat next to the Christmas tree, wrapping the presents.

Jake pulled you into his lap, as Pamela sat down next to her daughters, to help them. 

"You guys are so cute." Jess cooed, as Kim nodded. "I've never seen Jake so in love. I'm happy he found you."

Indeed, Jake was a very good actor. You almost believed him yourself. You smiled. "I'm happy I found him."

It felt so nice, so normal. Having you in his arms, as you laughed and chatted with his sisters and mother. For a second, he forgot it was all fake. 

You turned to look at Jake, noticing how quiet he was. “Tired?”

He had a far-off look in his eyes, as if he wasn't present in the room at all. “Hm?” He rid himself of the thoughts swirling aimlessly in his head, before looking at you. “Oh no, just thinking.”

You hummed. “About?”

“Stuff.” he shrugged and you knew you wouldn't get anything else out of him right now.

“Fine, keep your secrets.” you teased.

“You two would have really cute kids.” Kim spoke up.

“I know, I said that too.” Jake grinned, thinking about it. You and him having children. You having his children. The thought always made his heart race. He felt you squeeze his hand, as you relaxed against his chest. 

The hand that wasn't holding yours was laying on your ribcage, dangerously close to your belly. He wanted to put his hand on it, just for a second, to imagine what it would be like. The perfect life with you.

“Well, when am I gonna have another grandchild?”

Jess rolled her eyes. “Mom, leave them alone.”

Kim squealed, agreeing with her mother. “No, I need another nephew or a niece to spoil.” She looked at you two expectantly, waiting to know when you were planning to take your relationship a step farther.

You looked at Jake, raising an eyebrow jokingly. “Well, Jake?”

He scoffed. “Why are you looking at me? You will be the one that has to carry the little spawn for 9 months.”

“And you're the one that has to make the spawn.” 

While you were having a little staring contest, his sisters already started talking about how they would spoil your child. Since the attention wasn't on you anymore, you found enough courage to lean closer and whisper into Jake's ear seductively. “Wanna go upstairs and practice, daddy?”

You felt his whole body tense, his fingers digging into your ribs. You looked at him innocently. “Did I say something wrong?”

Jake chuckled, but there was no humour to it. “You know exactly what you said.” he rasped, voice so low it sent chills down your spine. “You'll be the death of me.”

After David and Noah got back, you spent most of the time with Noah in your arms, which made Jake pout like a little kid. He just wanted to hold you and have you to himself for a few minutes. 

All of you were having an amazing time, but the good mood only lasted so long. 

His father arrived, making himself known by slamming the door so loud you were sure even the neighbours heard it. 

You squeezed Jake's hand, hearing his shallow breathing in your ear. 

His father walked into the living room, eyes searching the room, until he found Jake. "Son." He motioned for Jake to follow him and you reluctantly let him go. You watched as he walked out of the room with a worried expression and the way everyone else was acting didn't really help you calm down. 

Jake closed the door to his father's study, not bothering to sit down. He knew his father wouldn't have anything nice to say to him.

"She's a pretty one. Mouthy but pretty." Jake's first clenched, as he gritted his teeth. 

"Is that why you called me here?" He didn't want to ruin Christmas for his family, but if his father insulted you once, he couldn't be held accountable for whatever he'd do next. 

"How long do you think this one's going to last? How long before she decides you're not worth it?" It felt like Jake's been stabbed in the heart, as his father brought up his greatest fears without any regards to how it would make him feel. 

"She's not like that."

William shook his head. "You have so much potential. She's only going to slow you down. Kids, marriage, love. That won't make you happy."

Jake chuckled humourlessly, licking his dry lips. "Stop acting like you care about my happiness. You don't even know me."

"I know enough. You're my son. We're not good with emotions." Jake clenched his eyes shut, trying not to think about his father's words and how true they were. "She's going to leave and it's going to hurt. Better end it now before you can get too attached." 

He didn't say anything, just stood there leaning against the door with his head hung low. 

"Do you really think, that once she gets to know who you are inside, she's going to stay?" 

Jake looked up, shaking his head. "You don't know Y/N. She's going to stay."

His father hummed, raising an eyebrow. "Is she?" He didn't even try to hide the disappointment he felt for his son. "She's going to find someone better. There's always someone better."

"You're just bitter because there's no one left in this world that cares about you. But I won't let you ruin this for me." Jake stormed out, angry. You stood up, reaching for his arm as he rushed out the back door, but he shook you off. 

"He's going to the tree house." Kim said, giving you your coat. The words you wanted to say died in your throat, as you swallowed. I'm not sure he wants me to follow him.

As if Kim saw your inner struggle, she smiled. "Trust me, he needs you."

You put on your coat and boots, before following him. Behind their garden, there was a small forest filled with trees. You followed the path, noticing a big tree house in the distance. 

Once you finally got there, you climbed up the ladder, finding Jake sitting on the old, worn-out carpet. 

You sat down next to him, putting your hand on his shoulder. “Jake?”

He smiled, leaning into your touch without looking at you. “When I was younger, I always sneaked out past my bedtime to come out here.” He could still remember the stinging sensation his father's palm left behind after he came hoke covered in mud and rain one time. He climbed down the stairs quietly, in his pyjamas and slippers, before running out of the house, only a small flashlight to in his hand. He wasn't scared of the dark or the animals that were lurking there. He knew who the real monster was. “It was always so peaceful and calm. I didn’t have to listen to my parents fight, or my sisters cry in the other room.” His voice broke a little, as a tear fell from his eye. “This was my safe place.” He smiled, before it turned into a grimace as the tears kept coming. He finally turned to look at you apologetically. “I shouldn’t have brought you here. I’m so sorry for all of this.”

You shook your head furiously. “Hey, none of that.” You reached out, brushing his tears away. “I want you to know that whatever he said was a fucking lie, okay?”

He looked anywhere but at you, trying to pull his face away, but you didn't let him. “No, Jake, look at me.” you begged quietly. “Please, look at me.”

It was hearing your voice break that made him finally look at you. You smiled, caressing his face. “You’re amazing. You’re so brave and courageous and kind when you want to be.” Both of you laughed at the last part, knowing it was true. “I don’t regret coming here, because the thought of you having to go through this alone scares me more than whatever your father can do or say. You achieved so much and everyone else is so proud of you. Don’t let him ruin you.”

You pulled him into a hug, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could. “He’s not going to scare me away from you.” you added, hearing the pained whimper escape from his throat as he buried his face into your neck. “I’m so glad I met you.” he whispered against your skin softly, as you smiled, thinking back to the first time you met. 

When you got back, after everyone made sure Jake was okay, he pulled you away from them. "I'm going for a run to clear my head. Will you be okay here?"

You nodded. "Yeah, go. Just be careful, the roads are slippery. It was freezing all night." He always got butterflies when you acted so protective and caring. It was just one of the reasons he fell in love with you. He wanted to pull you in and kiss you breathless, right under that fucking mistletoe you were standing under, obliviously. Instead he nodded, giving you a tense smile. "I will be."

While your boyfriend went for a run, you decided to help his sisters bake some cookies. Somehow it evolved into you sharing embarrassing stories about each other, but mostly about Jake. 

When Jake got back, he found you all laughing in the kitchen, an album with his baby photos open in front of you. He groaned, ready to tell everyone off for breaking their promise, but then you looked at him, your eyes twinkling and your smile so big it was hurting your cheeks. You walked up to him, kissing his cheek. "Did you have a good run?"

He nodded dumbly. "Yeah."

You grinned. "Good. Go shower real quick and get ready. We're going to the Christmas market." He shook his head with a smile, but did as he was told.

You decided to facetime with Nat and Bradley while Jake showered. You didn’t really have time to keep them updated, which was probably for the better given the last 12 messages you had that were all asking if you have already banged.

But right now you needed to get some things off your chest.

“So, how are things?” Nat asked.

“Tense.”

“Between you and Jake, or his family?” You wanted to tell them about the previous night, the way Jake looked at you and how he acted, but ultimately decided against it. 

“Between me and his dad, between him and his dad.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair frustratedly.

“But the rest of the family loves me.” 

Bradley scoffed. “Of course they do, who wouldn’t.” But that wasn't why they've been dying to talk to you. He bet Natasha another 20$ that you would be the one to make the first move, while Nat's convinced it's going to be Jake. Both of you are stubborn as hell, so it can be either, really. “What about you and Jake? Come on. Don’t leave us hanging. That’s your boyfriend’s job.”

You ignored the fact that he called him your boyfriend, because in the last two days you got so used to calling Jake that, you barely even noticed it anymore. Before you could decide where to start,  the words were spilling out of your mouth. “He told me we would have cute kids.”

Nat punched Bradley in the shoulder, telling him she was closer to getting her 40$ than before. “Jake wants kids? Jake wants kids with you?”

“I’m sure he was joking.”

“Come on, stop doing that." 

Just as you were about to answer, the door to the bathroom opened, Jake walking out in just a towel wrapped really low around his hips. You couldn't pull your eyes away from his Adonis' belt, as you imagined just trailing that V shape with your finger. Or mouth. You moved your eyes up, over his very nicely shaped body, over his six-pack and his pecs and that definitely wasn't the outline of his cock under the white towel, right?! 

“You okay?” Nat asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah, just uh-” Everything was fine. Your brain just stopped working, because it got overheated. 

Bradley knew who you were looking at like that. You were going to kill him for this but it would be worth it. "Is that drool?" he yelled out, making you screech as Jake laughed in the background. 

"Fuck off!" you said through gritted teeth, before ending the call. You were mortified, unable to look Jake in the eyes. Instead, you were already drafting the message you were going to send to your best friend for being a dickhead. You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping you would just die on the spot, so Jake wouldn't get to tease you about this. 

You opened your eyes, rather reluctantly, when you felt his hand on your chin, as you met his green eyes. Your eyes strayed, again, but it's not like he could blame you for that. The towel was like, really, really low. Like, you were scared it would fall off low. 

“See something you like, sweets?” Jake teased, his face so close to you you could feel his hot breath on your face. You gulped, nodding. “You know I do.”

Jake's smile widened, his face leaning closer-

"We're leaving in five minutes!" Kim shouted, before you heard her footsteps disappear as she ran down the stairs. 

Jake swallowed, nodding his head with a small smile, before he picked out some clothes and went back to the bathroom to get dressed. 

You just kept sitting on the bed, wondering what would have happened if Kim didn't interrupt you. Was he really about to kiss you?

You couldn't get that thought out of your head even as Jake pulled you through the crowd of people an hour later. His hand was holding yours in a tight grip, as you walked next to him. You got separated from his family halfway through, almost as if Jake did it on purpose. Which he did. He wanted to spend some time with you alone, without anyone else. 

“Jake?” You were both admiring the lights, when you heard a feminine voice somewhere from behind you, making both of your head's turn. You found a pretty blonde looking at your boyfriend, an unfamiliar feeling in your chest. You should've expected to run into a few of his exes or one-night stands. Why was it even bothering you?

“Stacy?” Jake asked, almost like he didn't believe the luck he had to meet her here. You had to ignore the urge to roll your eyes, as Stacy ignored your presence. Maybe she was too busy ogling Jake and didn't even notice you were there. Who could blame her. 

“Hi. Oh my god, it’s been so long since the last time I saw you. How have you been?” 

You could feel the jealousy running through your veins like lava, setting everything on fire, when you heard him chuckle. “Great, great actually. I just came home for the holidays with my girlfriend.” 

It was over as soon as he looked at you with that heart-stopping, panty-dropping smile, as he wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you into his side. You guessed that Stacy and him didn't end on good terms, otherwise why would he keep up the charade when his family wasn't near? 

You saw her smile drop when she saw you, turning into a bitter grimace, which made you smile. “Oh, that’s nice.”

“Yeah, I’m so happy she finally got to meet my mom and my sisters.”

“Have you been dating long?” She wasn't giving up. Damn. How desperate can one person be to try and get with someone's boyfriend in front of them? You eyed her, hoping she caught the judgy stare you gave her. 

“Few months. Definitely not long enough for me to say that I’m looking forward to spending forever with her, but…” Jake spending forever with you? That almost got a laugh out of you. You needed to admit though, he was a good actor. 

“I’m so happy for you.” she said in a high-pitched voice, something you both knew was overly-affectionate and fake. Her face screamed something entirely different. “I have to go now. But hopefully we will see each other again soon.” Hopefully not. She kept her eyes on Jake the entire time, as if waiting for a response. But she didn't get any. It did make you feel a little smug. You leaned into Jake's side, smiling into his coat. 

When she realized Jake wasn't going to say anything, she looked at you. “It was nice meeting you…” she trailed off, realizing she didn't know your name. “Y/N." you introduced yourself with a grin. "Likewise.” Not.

She said her goodbye, before leaving.

You looked up at Jake. “Ex?”

“Something like that.”

You nodded, looking away from him, a bitter feeling taking over as you thought about her. You were envious of whatever they had together. 

“You okay?” Jake asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

“Mhm.” Oh yeah, just peachy. 

He was looking at you with an unreadable expression, a smile on his face. He reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “Let’s go, we still have to buy the best gingerbread cookies you’ll ever eat.”

“The best? You’re setting the bar a bit too high, don’t you think?” you teased.

“Trust me on this. You’re going to love it.”

And he was right. They were the best gingerbread cookies you ever had. He also bought you hot chocolate with little marshmallows in it. 

You moaned as you took a sip of the drink, savouring the sweet, chocolatey taste, while it warmed you from the inside. "This is the best hot chocolate I've ever had." 

“Can I get a taste?” Jake asked innocently. 

You stopped walking, handing him the drink. “Here.” 

Instead of taking it, he pulled you closer with an arm on your waist, not giving you any time to panic before his lips were on yours. He sucked on your bottom lip, before you felt the tip of his tongue asking for access to your mouth. You almost dropped the cup when his tongue met yours, the moan he let out starting a Niagara Falls in your panties. 

He pulled away not long after, giving you one last dizzying kiss. “You’re right.” he said breathless, staring into your wide eyes. “Taste’s amazing."

Were you just supposed to go about your day as usual after that? Because it was definitely affecting you more than it was affecting Jake.

So the first thing you did once you were back at their house was locking yourself in the bathroom to call Natasha. To no one's surprise, Bradley was there with her.

"He kissed me!" you said as soon as she picked up, not giving her the chance to even say hello.

"What?" she exclaimed. "Tell me everything."

What was there to tell, really? That was pretty much the whole story. "He just...kissed me. And now he's acting like nothing happened. It was probably part of Jake Seresin's fake-girlfriend premium package." you groaned frustrated.

Bradley, the voice of reason, spoke up. "Just talk to him about it." And if you were braver, you would have agreed because you knew it was the easiest way to find out if Jake felt the same way. But you weren't so talking to him wasn't an option.

"I don't want to ruin our friendship over a meaningless kiss."

Bradley sighed, fed up with you two dancing around each other, but understood. "Jake's head over heels for you. I'm sure he's going to bring it up later."

"I hope so." you said with a sigh, as you listened to Nat and Bradley while they told you everything that happened in the last few days that you missed.

But neither of you actually brought up the kiss. Jake acted as if nothing happened and you were doubting yourself too much to ask him what was that about. You were scared he would dismiss it, find out that it didn't mean to him nearly as much as it meant to you. 

But the tension could have been cut with a knife. It was unbearable. And everyone noticed.

"Are you two okay?" Jess asked, once she caught you alone. 

Were you okay? You weren't sure anymore. "Uh, yeah. Why?"

"Both you and Jake have been acting a little weird ever since we got back." You felt like you were backed into a corner.

"No, it's-" It wasn't okay. You sighed. "It's going to be okay. This has just been a bit much for the both of us." you smiled, trying to make yourself believe your own words. 

She bought it though, nodding with a small smile. "Yeah, I get that." Before she left the room, she looked at you one last time. "Don't let him push you away." 

"I won't." you promised. 

But it was hard when Jake refused to meet your eyes. When he left the room as soon as you stepped inside. How he spent way longer in the bathroom than you knew was necessary, just so he didn't have to talk to you. 

"Jake." you called out his name as soon as he walked back into the room, but before you could say anything, the words you dreaded were coming out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry." he sighed, not even looking at you as he pulled back the covers and laid down on the bed. "About that kiss." he clarified, like you didn't know what he was sorry for. Was that all it was? An action he regretted doing? As a final stab, he answered your silent question. "I shouldn't have done that."

So you were right. It really meant more to you than it meant to him. You nodded. "It's fine. We talked about the boundaries, so it's-" You took in a sharp breath, your eyes tearing up. "fine."

You laid on the bed as far away from him as possible, turning your back to him. Jake's heart clenched in his chest. He wanted to reach out and pull you into him, but he couldn't. He tried to ignore the way you trembled as you tried to hold back your sobs. He tried to pretend he didn't hear the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. Tried to make himself believe he didn't want to wipe your tears away and comfort you. 

No weaknesses. No weaknesses. No weaknesses.

Maybe his father was right. Still, he didn't regret a single second of loving you.

He stayed up for a long time, long after you fell asleep, just watching you in silence. And if a few stray tears fell, wetting his shirt, no one needed to know that. 

But what else was he supposed to do after what he overheard? You found the kiss meaningless and didn't want to ruin your friendship over it. He would make sure it wouldn't get ruined.

When Jake woke up the next morning, your side of the bed was already empty. For a second he panicked, running to the closet to look if your stuff was still there. He let out a sigh, when he saw that dumb Christmas sweater he bought you last year, before putting on his sweats and running downstairs. He found you sitting in the kitchen, alone.

You looked up at the sound of his footsteps, startled. "They went shopping for some last minute Christmas stuff." you explained, when you saw his confused look. 

Jake nodded, trying to ignore the palpable awkwardness in the room. 

"I made you breakfast." you said, voice so quiet, like you didn't want to be heard. 

"Thank you." You nodded, standing up to leave. Jake's hand reached out for you, pulling you back. 

Just tell her you're sorry. Tell her the truth. Tell her you love her. 

But Jake was a coward. He didn't say any of those things. 

"Want to help me devour those gingerbread cookies?" A quiet peace offering. It wasn't much, but it was a start. You nodded with a small smile, as he put the plate on the kitchen counter, both of you eating in silence. Until your phone pinged, the screen lighting up to show a new text message. Before you could reach out and take it, Jake was already smirking, having read it. "Natasha wants to know if you brought that lingerie and if you put it to good use?" He looked at you, raising an eyebrow. 

Oh. 

You were going to kill her. 

You jumped, reaching for your phone, but Jake put his hand behind his back. "Give it back." 

"No, no, no. What lingerie and why haven't I seen it yet?" You were back to joking and teasing each other, that was a good sign at least.

"Jake, give me my phone." you groaned, knowing that there was no way you were getting it form him. "She was just teasing me, that's all. I didn't bring any lingerie." 

He hummed, eyes trailing over your body. "What a shame." His voice was low, sending chills all over your body.

You and Jake were now chest to chest, as you tried to reach for your phone, your hand landing on his lower back. “Hey, don’t get handsy now.” he scolded you jokingly, making you roll your eyes. “I’m pretty sure it was you that said no inappropriate touching.”

“Shut up.” you grumbled, taking a step back. 

“In the kitchen, none the less.” He shook his head. “And to think I thought you were oh so innocent.”

You scoffed. “Just because I don’t do one night stands doesn’t mean I'm innocent.”

Jake smirked, straightening out. “Prove it.” he challenged, knowing you wouldn’t back down.

You were taken aback for a second, your heart pounding in your chest, before you nodded. “Fine.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.”

Jake wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush to him. You gulped, hands shaking slightly as you put them on the side of his neck, before leaning up. You had to stand on your tiptoes, about to grumble about how Jake wasn't making this easier for you, when he leant down, connecting your lips. It wasn't soft, like the one in the Christmas market. It wasn't slow. No. This was passionate and hungry, rough, teeth clashing and tongues caressing each other. Jake kissed you exactly the way you dreamed about being kissed by him. 

You inhaled his scent, your lungs filling up with his cologne, as your hands tangled in his hair, pulling on the strands. This earned a groan from him, his fingers digging into your hips so hard they were about to leave bruises. His hands explored your body, trailing up and down your back, before settling on your ass, squeezing the soft flesh. 

You whimpered into his mouth, hands trailing down his pecs, playing with the chain of his dog tags. Jake pulled away suddenly, looking into your eyes intensely.

"What I said yesterday..." Oh. Here it comes again. You shut your eyes, trying to block everything out as you prepared for the blow from his next words. But it never came.

Jake held your face so gently in his palms, knowing that this might be the last time he has the chance to have you this close. "It's not that I didn't want to kiss you, I did. So badly." He took in a shallow breath, swallowing the lump in his throat. "But I heard what you said and I don't want to ruin our friendship either. If you don't want me, I will deal with that, but I can't lose you."

Your eyes opened, widening as you thought back to the conversation you had with Natasha and Rooster. Of course the idiot only listened to the worst part and misunderstood it.

You shook your head, clutching at his shirt, scared he was going to walk away from you and disappear any second. "You won't lose me. I thought the kiss was meaningless for you." You put your hands on the side of his neck, pulling him down so you were on eye-level with each other. "I wanted that kiss. And I want you to kiss me again."

And Jake did so without a second thought.

You were so occupied you didn't hear the front door opening, nor his family walk in. 

“Oh, are we interrupting?” Jess asked, as you pulled away from each other, embarrassed at being caught making out as teenagers. 

You could feel your body flush with warmth, scrambling to say something. You just kept opening and closing your mouth, stuttering, before getting out something that finally resembled a sentence. “No, I'm sorry.”

Were you sorry? Because if they haven't interrupted, you're pretty sure you would have ended up pressed up against the kitchen counter and you wouldn't be exactly opposed to that. Still, you were sorry for being caught, sorry that they had to see you like that. 

You looked at Jake, trying to see if he looked at least half as embarrassed as you, but you found him looking down at you, with a look in his eyes you couldn't really describe. It was soft and loving, and for a second you thought that maybe you should've listened to Natasha sooner. 

His mom waved her hand dismissively. She was young and in love once upon a time too. “Don’t apologize, darlin.”

Jess nodded, amused. “Yeah, I mean Noah was conceived on the couch here so.”

That got Jake's attention, making him look at her horrified. “Ew, what?”

“Hey, don’t act like you weren’t groping her ass when we walked in.” 

You hid your face in his shoulder. “Oh my god.”

Kim shook her head with a smile. “Still wanna help with dinner, or would you rather make out with my brother?” 

You pulled away from Jake, avoiding his eyes. “I will help with dinner.”

Jake on the other hand couldn't keep his eyes off of you. If Javy was there, he would tease him for that look he had on his face. He was smitten, whipped and he couldn't even try to deny it anymore. 

You felt him stare at you, as you looked up to find him smiling at you. You tried to hide your own smile, but it was hard when he didn't even try to make his staring subtle. 

Jake couldn't take the tension anymore. The way you were looking at him from across the room while biting your lip was driving him insane. 

You were only half listening to what Kim was saying to you, especially when you felt Jake's presence next to you. 

You caught his eye, raising an eyebrow. He caught your wrist, pulling you out of the kitchen and up the stairs. "Jake. Your family-" 

"Trust me, this is better than them having to watch us eye-fuck each other across the room." he said, closing the door behind him.

He pushed you against the closed door, eyes gazing into yours with a hunger you never saw in them before. He was breathing heavily, chest rising and falling rapidly, as his hands gripped your clothes. He wanted to tear them off you, but not before he could make sure that you knew what you were getting into. Because he was in it for the long run, and he hoped to God that you were too. So he licked his lips, putting his hand on your face to lean your head up. "Do you want this?"

The tip of his thumb was caressing your bottom lip, making your lips part. You nodded your head, not trusting your voice. But Jake shook his head, not moving an inch from that position. "I need to hear you say it." His tone was desperate, pleading. "I need to know that you want me." He leaned his forehead on yours, not breaking eye contact.

In that moment you saw the person Jake was trying so hard to hide. The scared, insecure man, that wanted to be loved so badly, but was terrified he wasn't good enough to be loved. You saw him now; all of him. The good and the bad parts equally and you loved all of them.

"I want you, Jake." Your voice was just as breathy, just as desperate. And all it took was one kiss and the promise of something more to come. 

Jake let out a disbelieving huff at hearing your words. "I want you too, baby." The second his parted lips touched yours, you were opening your mouth for him. Jake walked you blindly over to his bed, your hands pushing on his shoulders until he sat down on the edge. You pulled away from him to take off your shirt, as Jake looked at you in awe. You climbed on his lap, connecting your lips again, as he trailed his hand down your body, touching you everywhere he could. 

As good as your ass looked in the leggings you had on, he wanted them gone to get more access to the one place he desperately wanted to touch right now. Jake turned, pressing your back against the mattress, his fingers gripping the band of your leggings and pulling them off. He threw them somewhere carelessly, not pulling away from your lips for a second. 

He felt like he needed your lips on his to keep living. He needed you to breathe, like you were his oxygen. 

And in a way, maybe you were. 

You let out a breathy moan when you felt his hand sneak into your panties, as he found your clit with ease. "Jake."

He loved the way you sounded saying his name, while he pleasured you. He buried his face in your neck, revelling in the small sounds you were making as he played with you. 

"Need your fingers." you whimpered, tangling your fingers in his hair. Jake let out a shaky breath, nodding. His minds still hasn't fully caught up with what was happening. Like it was just one of his dirty, wet dreams that would end with him waking up painfully hard.

But your hands on his body reassured him this was all happening. It felt too real, too good to be a dream. There was no way his unconscious mind could come up with this.

He helped you take off your bra, before pulling your panties down your legs. You climbed up the bed to lay on the pillows, Jake going after you with a predatory look in his eyes that made you shiver. 

Once he was face to face with you, as he caged you under him with his arms on either side of your head, he started kissing your neck, biting, before soothing the soft skin with his tongue. 

Your hands were gripping his dog tags and the shirt he still had on. As you started pulling it up, he broke away to pull it over his head, before getting back to work. He kissed down your chest, licking and sucking on your hardened nipples, his big hands palming your breasts. 

You never really felt anything when guys did that, but you were convinced you could've cum just from watching Jake's tongue tease your nipple. It felt overwhelming. 

He kissed down your sternum and stomach, until he was face to face with the part of your body you really wanted him to lick. You whimpered as his hot breath hit your wet pussy, while he put one of your legs over his shoulder to get better access. You were writhing on the bed, silently begging him to do something. 

Jake was too mesmerized to notice just how much you needed him. His fingers slowly spread your wetness, as he pushed a finger inside you. He watched as his finger disappeared until only his knuckles were visible, before pulling it out. It was slow, he wanted to explore your body, before giving you what you wanted so badly. His pace was steady. In and out. In and out. Then he curled his finger up, hitting your sweet spot. You thought you were going to lose your mind, a conviction which only got stronger once you felt his tongue on your clit.

"Jake." you moaned his name, sounding so sweet for him. He added a second finger, picking up his pace. He was watching your face contort in pleasure, your hands gripping the sheets as you tried to silence your moans. 

"You're taking my fingers so well, pretty girl. Let's see if you can take three." He looked in awe as your pussy swallowed his fingers up, the other hand coming to hold your hips down so you wouldn't move around that much. "Looks so pretty. You're gonna look so good full of me."

You could feel your wetness gush out of you every time he pulled his fingers out, before thrusting them back again.

He pulled out his fingers, replacing them with his tongue. His hands were on your thighs, nails digging into your skin as he lapped up your sweet juices. 

"Jake. Please." you begged, needing more. When he didn't as much as look at you, you thought about the reaction you got for him to another word, and decided to play dirty. "Daddy." you moaned.

Jake groaned against you, eyes catching yours, before he pulled away. "That's so hot." He wiped his chin with his hand, gaze darkening. "Say that again."

"Please, daddy." you begged, breathing heavily. "Fuck me."

Jake smirked darkly, unbuttoning his jeans. You sat up, pulling down the zipper, before he finally took them off. You could see the prominent bulge in his black briefs, your hand reaching out to palm him through the thin material. He threw his head back in pleasure as you dipped your hand into his boxers, swirling your thumb on the head of his cock.

"Sweets." he warned in a low voice, knowing you were teasing him on purpose. You bit your bottom lip, grinning, as you pulled down the final piece of clothing, revealing the leaking tip. He saw the way you licked your lips, groaning, before he pushed you to lay down on the bed. "Want that mouth next time. But I need to be inside you now."

"Want to practice now, sweetheart?" he asked, voice raspy, bringing up the conversation you had a few days ago. You moaned, nodding your head furiously. 

Jake let out a whimper as he swiped the head of his cock through your folds, getting his cock nice and wet. "Yeah? Want me to put a baby in you?"

You whimpered, tears threatening to spill from your eyes because of how badly you wanted this man. "Yes, please."

"Beg for me, sweetheart. Beg for my cock."

"Please, please fuck me, Jake. I need your cock."

He finally pushed the head in, putting his hands on either side of your head to hold himself up, as his lips found yours again. You whimpered from the slight pain, as Jake slowly pushed his whole length in, bottoming out. He gave you a few minutes to adjust to his size, before he started moving.

He couldn't believe he was finally inside you. You were naked, moaning and writhing underneath him. 

He set up a steady pace, thrusting his hips so roughly, your moans were now a constant noise in the room. That, and the wet, squelching noises your pussy made, along with the slapping sounds of skin on skin. 

You wrapped your hands around his neck, bringing his mouth to yours in a heated kiss. His dog tags were cooling your warm skin, and the sight of the metal with his name engraved on it laying between your tits as they bounced with every move, brought out something possessive from somewhere very deep inside him. He growled, a deep, low sound, that made your walls clench around him.

"I love you." His mouth was moving, the words coming out without him having any say in it. That didn't mean he meant them any less. Your breath got caught in your throat, your eyes watering at his confession. He buried his face in your neck, moaning when you clenched around him again. "I love you so much, baby. You're so perfect for me."

Your heart was threatening to burst out of your chest from the happiness you felt, your hand going to the back of his neck to make him look at you. You could see the slight insecurity in his eyes, as if he was scared you would tell him you didn't feel the same. Like that was even a possibility. "I love you, Jake." 

He whined, kissing you, pouring all of his emotions into it.

"You're close, baby, aren't you?" he asked, feeling your walls flutter around him. You nodded your head with a hum. His hand trailed down your body, his fingers playing with your clit. 

"Come for me, sweetheart." he whispered into your ear, grunting when you dug your nails into his shoulders. "Cum so that I can fill you up."

"Jake." Your walls squeezed around Jake, as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. You've never cum so hard before, your vision going black as you let out a loud moan.

Jake groaned into your neck, thrusts becoming erratic and unsteady. "Fuck, baby."

"Cum inside me. Please." you whined. Jake thrusted into you a few more times, before you felt his hot cum fill you up, his hips stilling. 

Once you both came down from your highs, he pulled out of you, making you whine at the emptiness you felt. He laid down next to you, pulling you into his chest. 

"That was..." Jake started, not finding the right words to describe just how good it was. 

But you understood. You nodded your head, letting out a small laugh. "Yeah."

Jake never thought that the holidays would end with him dating the girl of his dreams, but life always throws a few surprises your way. A real Christmas miracle.

To make everything even better, his mom decided to ask for divorce. The relationship was dead anyway, and if that meant the holidays would be peaceful from now on, it was worth it. 

“I like her.” Pamela told her son, as you were both saying goodbye to his family, ready to go back home.

Jake smiled, looking at you affectionately. “Yeah, me too.”

"Don't let her go."

He chuckled, as you walked back towards him, leaning into his side. "There's nothing that could make me do that. She's stuck with me." he joked, kissing you.

“Come here." His mom teared up, bringing you into a hug. "Thank you for making my son happy.” she said sincerely.

“Thank you for raising such an amazing son.” 

You were meeting at Bradley's place to celebrate Christmas together and exchange some gifts with the rest of the squad. Neither of you talked to your friends about what happened yet and you knew Nat and Rooster were both waiting to ambush you as soon as you stepped through the door. Just like Javy, who's been pestering Jake ever since you two got back. Every head turned to the front door, as you and Jake walked in, laughing. 

Jake stepped under the doorway, pulling you into him with a grin. You raised an eyebrow questioningly, as he looked up innocently. You followed his line of sight, noticing the green plant, tied with a red ribbon. "Oh look. A mistletoe." 

You smiled, rolling your eyes at his antics. Still, you leaned closer. "I guess, it's tradition." Jake grinned wider, pulling you in for a slow kiss. Your friends whistled, not one bit shocked that this was happening. Once you pulled away, he smiled at you lovingly, before intertwining your fingers with his. 

Rooster and Natasha ran towards you first, looking between the two of you.

"You owe Natasha 40 dollars." you told Rooster with a grin, earning a laugh from Nat as she pocketed the money. 

Javy patted his best friend on the back, before giving you a hug. "I'm glad you two finally got your shit together, because this was becoming a little tiring." 

Both you and Jake laughed bashfully, as he pulled you into his side, arms wrapping around your waist. He kissed your temple, finding your eyes. “This Christmas might’ve been a disaster, but I’m glad I could go through this with you.”

“I’m glad I could be there.” You smiled, squeezing his hip. “I forgot what it’s like to be a part of a family.”

Jake smiled softly. “You will always have a family while I’m alive. I mean, my mom already calls you her daughter-in-law.” 

You grinned. “Can’t disappoint Pam, now can we?”

“Definitely not.” he agreed, pecking your lips.

Taglist: @shawnsblue @imahoeforchrisevans @eddiemunsonownsme

woah tis the broom sweepers (i use this thing called a vacuum-pretty helpful if you ask me)

The worst thing in the entire world is when you’re sweeping a big pile of dirt into a dustpan and it leaves that little coke line of grit behind. No matter how you position your pan or your broom and no matter how many times you sweep over it your outcome cannot change. As immovable as fate. I hate it so

reblog if you get bitches, are bitchless, or are a bitch. no one will know which one is the truth

mkay, imma go cry now since having my already crumbling faith in this nation, be completely decimated....why don't more people know about this?

this is a sign to share on your own platform to make known to others

A couple of days ago someone pointed out this absoluetly insane wikipedia page to me about "project artichoke" here's the introduction:

Go read it for yourselves, its insane and great if you feel like losing any residue trust you might have in the US.

Basically they drugged prople into doing their bidding with the end goal of creating the perfect assassin who has no qualms about anything and doesn't care about his personal safety either. Sounds familiar, right?

But you know what else stood out to me? Besides the o b v i o u s horrifying and cruel methods they describe?

This thoroughly american project basically did exactly what was done to Bucky Barnes in the Captain America movies, only that irl the Americans were the bad guys. I'm pretty sure other countries did this too but it still goes a long way of showing Americas lack of self awareness. Seriously, the "evil foreigners" trope needs to die.

The whole Hydra/Shield debacle tries to push blame around a little, but the essential part remains the same, that being Buckys transition into the Winter Soldier. So yeah, I have some thoughts. And I can articulate none of them.

If anyone knows more about this / wants to add something, please do! I am obviously no specialist, I just think its a disturbing fact that more people should be aware of.

Y/N: *Drops their coffee*

Y/N: Ah gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.

I'm in love with this man 😍

Is he my dad's age? yes...

Do i give a flying fuck? Abso-fucking-lutley not 😘

Stay fly my favorite white boy 😩

Sebastian at the 2022 LACMA ART+FILM GALA.

y e s 🛐

"are you the person who says goodnight to everyone at 9PM then stays up all night reading fanfictions at tumblr?"

dear lord, ya'll need some help

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

All free space, thoughts, and (hopefully) answers here babes:)

Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

please no 😢...r.i.p. hagrid

BRB going to go rewatch every single hp movie now

“There’s no Hogwarts without you, Hagrid.”

R.I.P. Robbie Coltrane (March 30, 1950 - October 14, 2022)

shes fat

lmao

great suggestions, really sweet ones as well as spicy ones (*wink wink)

Tom Holland

- “I drink tea darling!”

My Beautiful Queen

Summary - King Tom adoring His Queen, treating her to breakfast and the married couple being fluffy towards each other, being so in love.

Sea Soul

Summary - connected with Merman Tom at the hip from being a young child, you are grown up now facing life with him. Coming to a conclusion that there is more to life than it seems! A Secret that lies in between the rocks.

Against Heaven

Summary - A note has fallen with an Angel, bringing heart to heart fluffy feelings but With it comes danger in the right directions!

Burning up

Summary - Tom and Y/N taking care of each other’s needs, gets very frisky!

Hot Bubbles

Summary - Taking a bath as Queen with you’re King isn’t exactly, taking just a bath!

My Beloved

Summary - You and Tom getting married. What happens at your wedding, day and night.

Spill The Tea

Summary - Tom’s and yours friends come round your new house, you getting a bit jealous of a particular someone.

Dripping Wet

Summary - Freyr The God of Fertility is looking for an heir, your more than willing to give him one!

Bumps In The Road

Summary - Your baby having a tantrum and Tom calming him down.

Speaking of Ex’s

Summary - you misunderstood something that was talked about! You happen to get upset by it, resulting into Tom explaining himself.

Good at being Protective, or not?

Summary - Reader having a boyfriend and her brothers being protective.

Drunk on love

- Summary You get drunk from a night out, Tom being a loving bf takes care of you

Ignoring you

- Summary Tom, His brothers and Harrison all play a prank on Y/N as she did the same over the summer! It sometimes, turns out that they take it way too far.

Blood Like Poison

Summary: Tom Riddle would ruin her and himself if that meant that she could be his forever.

Warnings: Smut. Toxic Behaviours. Dumbification, Knifeplay, Blood. Slytherin/Pureblood!Reader. Tom Riddle x Reader.

a/n: the fic is a bit dark, and any toxic elements in it are not meant to be romanticized. the plot is messy, it's mainly just a toxic smut.

NAVIGATION

--------

Obsessive. Possessive.

Not something that you would take as an endearment. Not something pure and filled with love.

No, this was far from a love story.

He wasn't capable of that. He wouldn't ever be able to.

But she was his. She would always be his.

—

It started with a smile. A simple gesture. But something within him changed.

Nothing would be the same after that.

Not for you; not for him.

He approaches you the same day, he's not fucking patient, he gets whatever he wants.

He was confident in the way he walked. He had every reason to be.

You sat up at the astronomy tower, the night sky was gloomy. Darkness spread across it, not a single celestial being in it.

"Hello" he speaks, and takes a seat beside you,

For a moment, your heart seems to stop. Tom Fucking Riddle sat beside you.

Of course you'd been bewitched by him. He was all but a fantasy. "Hi, Tom" your voice was soft, light— so unlike him.

He smirks, eyes traveling round the curves and edges of your body— you did the same.

There was no color in his eyes, they were only dark orbs, and the only colour in them would be the one they reflected. His hair the same. Soft curls in them. A wonderful contrast to his pale white skin.

How could a person be so beautiful?

"Enjoying the view are we?" He chuckles— darkly.

"I- was just- just"

"You're lucky you're pretty, wouldn't let anyone else have the privilege to gawk at me like that"

—

Tom Riddle laid on top of you, almost naked, thin fabrics that lay on both of you preventing you both to be connected.

He took his time, kissed along your body as if trying to memorize every thing on it. Every flaw, every perfection.

A throaty groan came from him as your bra was clasped open. A full view of your breasts in front of him. He leans down, brushes his thumb across the nipple.

You feel his mouth on the inside of your breast, he sucks hard on it, leaving marks for you or perhaps for him.

Teeth. You feel them graze along your skin and you shudder at it. His tongue licks at your buds, flicks them. They harden at his ministrations and he sucks on them; seductively.

"Fuck" a moan tumbles out from your lips, and grins, holding you even tighter in his arms.

"I want you, please"

He chuckles— a devil's laugh is what it sounded like.

"You want me, darling?" He speaks raggedly, his breath is heavy.

"Please, Tom"

Your panties are off, ripped in a second and now you're completely bare— vulnerable. He sighs at the sight.

Beautiful— he thinks, but he never says it.

His tip prods at your entrance, teasing your slit with it, it slides up to your clit, tapping against it lightly.

And then he pushes in, a quiet hiss coming from him. His fingers wrap around you even more possessively.

Tom thrusts inside you sharply, his movements hard from the start. Brutal; merciless. You're whimpering, shaking, as he pounds inside of you.

"Such. A. Dumb. Pretty. Slut" Every word accompanied by a pounce from him, he degraded you; he wanted you to feel beneath him.

His teeth clash, they take breaths away from you. He thrusts faster, harder. Reaching a spot in you that paints stars.

Blurred vision. Words Insensible.

A mess beneath him. Like you always were to. You cry— tears stuck in your eyelashes and he laughs and he pulls more tears from you.

He wants you to hurt.

Grunting, he pushes in deeper. And then you fall apart. Euphoria. Euphoria. Euphoria. That's all it was. Pure fucking bliss.

He hisses through his teeth, pulls out and white ropes of cum are spread over you.

Claimed; Conquered.

—

Damnation.

The whole night was damned.

Now he was obsssesed. Obsessed with the idea of you. Obsssesed with the idea of possessing you.

He wanted to be your master; and you were to merely be his slave.

Tom thinks you'll run, for sanity's sake you would. Yet, when he steps inside your room, you would be there.

You'd sold your soul.

His belt would be off, he'd walk over to your chair and sit on it as if it were a throne. You'd be on your knees.

Please him. That was your duty. His lenght would be in your mouth, you would choke, gasp for air, yet his grip never fell.

Then he'd have you on his bed, hand around your neck, dark marks that his fingers and mouth had left the previous night refreshed.

He held you like you were his. Fucking into you until only he made sense. Everything else didn't matter. It was just him.

Your world had minuted down entirely to Tom Riddle.

"You're such a mess" he would say, pounding deeper "Just a babbling dumb little baby"

He would spill inside of you now. It gave him a sense of claim. A sense that you were his property, his to be asserted, his to be owned.

It wasn't enough. He wanted to love you. But he couldn't. No matter how much he wanted to— he couldn't.

He wasn't capable of love.

For him, love was entirely a concept that he would understand through worn out smooth creamed pages of a book.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

He merely was a devil. He wasn't entirely sure if he could even call himself that. Because even the devil himself was once and angel, but his entire being was absolute evil.

If not through your heart, if not through your soul, he would carve himself in your skin.

A knife, a sharp edge on it. Blood drawn out. Scarlet shinning, decorating your skin. The feel poisonous, the blood poisonous.

Him, poisonous.

---------

follow @bellys-study to be notified of my works

Would you maybe, possibly wanna do a bit for Fred Weasley where it's Easter, shops closed midday. Reader puts on something cute for Easter dinner with the Weasley family. Freddie looses it. Smut 😆 and it ends with "Maybe another round. It is Easter after all why not fuck like rabbits" cause you know he'd say it 😏

(I gotta work on Easter. Need something to think about 🤣)

-🐇

😘😘😘 I love you and this idea so hereeeee you go (hopefully I can finish this by Easter)

Like Rabbits - F.W

Summary - turns out, Freddie happens to like it when you wear pretty dresses with nothing underneath

Warnings - Easter themes (???), fluff, I’m writing Molly as NOT a bitch for once (!!!), smut (lil bit of oral m!rec, breeding kink, daddy kink, innocence kink, size kink, praisey praisey praiseee kink, mentions of anal but no penetration)

Sunday’s usually meant that the shop closed at around four rather than six, but Easter Sunday meant that the shop doors closed at twelve o’clock on the dot; meaning you and Fred could leave at one after cashing the till and logging anything that needed to be shipped or restocked on Monday.

Easter Sunday was now your favourite day, because just as one notoriously difficult customer was jogging to the glass doors, you switched the sign on the door to ‘closed’. The look on his face was utterly priceless and you had to hold a hand over your mouth to cloud your smirk as you walked away. While you counted the money in the till to log as change for tomorrow, Fred was in the stockroom, well within earshot of you when you shouted ‘I’m gonna go get changed, baby!’

You heard a vague sound of confirmation that he heard you and just like that, you were in the staff room (what was essentially a single room-sized office with a locking door) and pulling on a yellow gingham dress that barely passed the cheeks of your ass. There were pieces cut out in the waist and even if you pulled it down very far, no underwear would be showing as you’d decided against it. The collar wasn’t necessarily very low cut, but it did expose you collarbones (a part of your anatomy Fred often found himself sucking on, hence the faded purple marks there that no one would dare to mention in fear of getting a death glare from Fred).

“Freddie! Baby we’ve gotta go!” You skipped towards the store room, twin pigtailed hair swinging with every movement. When you reached the doorframe, you were just in time to watch your boyfriend stretch up to side a box onto the top shelf of a unit, his brand new white button up raising up to expose his lean torso, muscles disappearing into his work slacks and a small patch of hair leading from his belly button to the material of his trousers, “wow, you really know how to greet a girl,”

His head snapped towards you, a grin splitting across his face as he saw your smile, “you don’t know the half of it, m’love,”

He stalked his way to you, licking his lips as he walked. Before you knew it, he was pinning you against the wall, hands on your hips and nose in your neck, “mmm, babygirl. Never knew you’d look so good in yellow. So pretty, aren’t you? You’re daddy’s pretty baby. Say it for me?”

“Daddy’s pretty baby,” you breathed out, baring your neck for his onslaught of kisses, “Freddie, Fred we need to- f-fuck, we need to go,”

“We do what I want,” the words were rushed, as if he didn’t want to part from your skin for a moment more than necessary. His lips were then right back on your neck, sucking a brand new bruise onto the canvas which made it all the more difficult for you to push him away.

“Later, I promise. We’ve gotta go to your mums right now, though,” you felt stupid for saying it, because who in their right mind would refuse such a man when they’re intent on giving you such pleasure?

“Fine baby, but don’t think for a second that you’re getting off easy for making daddy all hard before dinner, s’mean to do that and I don’t like mean babies,” he towered over you, now stretched to his full height and running a large hand over the small of your back.

With that, he grabbed your hand and one crack! later, you were disappearing from the shop.

—

Halfway through dinner with his family, Fred just couldn’t take it any more. He was fine, fine for most of the meal, until his hand slipped a little high and he didn’t feel the telltale lace he usually felt on your hips. Oh fuck, he’d thought. Oh fuck was right.

It wasn’t long after that he was coughing out a lame excuse and barrelling up the stairs towards his childhood bedroom.

“Dear, would you mind checking on him? He’s acting… strange. Well, stranger than usual,” Mollys voice was sweet as she urged you towards the stairs, pointing you to the right room even though you’d spent countless Summers in the home.

—

The second the door was closed, you found yourself pinned to a wall for the second time in one day, one large hand wrapping around your waist as the other tangled in your hair and tugged your lips to Fred’s.

Without parting the kiss, Fred picked you up and blindly carried you to his childhood bed. The squeaking sound the bed made when you were thrown on it would have been comical if Fred Weasley hadn’t just thrown you on his bed and now oh god he’s looking at you with those eyes, he’s gonna fuck you so hard.

“Daddy,” you gasped, unlatching your legs from around his waist to allow Fred to pull back a little, letting him sit up on his knees and peer down at you in such a vulnerable position. He simply smirked, pushing your dress up to expose your already wet cunt. A thumb migrated down, rubbing teasingly at the skin around your clit, not giving you nearly enough just to see you squirm, “please,”

“Look s’pretty, sunshine,” he pulled his hand away when you started to jerk against him, manhandling you until he was sat with his back to the headboard and you were kneeling in between his thighs, nose nudging at the crotch of his dark slacks in an attempt to convince him to take them off, “Y’want them off? You wanna see daddy? Use your big girl words then, tell me what you need,”

“Need- need to taste you, daddy. Please,” your lip trembled a little, doey eyes gazing up at him pleadingly until he was unbuttoning his slacks and pulling them down just enough that you could pull his cock out needily. You could barely wait for his nod of approval before taking the tip into your mouth, suckling gently until you felt a small bead of precum invaded your tastebuds.

Your eyes closed in bliss and you enjoyed the feeling of his large hand guiding you up and down by your hair, not pushing down too far in fear of triggering your gag reflex. You might have teased him a little but you were still daddy’s baby and he didn’t want you in any form of discomfort, “that’s it, good girl, princess. You take daddy’s cock so well,”

It was barely two minutes after that, Fred couldn’t take it any more. The constriction he felt around himself was just too good and then he was pulling you back by your hair and flipping you onto your tummy, spreading your legs and nestling in between them. He flipped your dress up, confirming the fact that you weren’t, in fact, wearing any underwear. You whined at the lack of weight on your tongue, a small string of your own saliva dripping down your chin and neck, “mmm, that’s daddy’s good baby. You gonna take daddy’s cum like a good girl?”

You could barely shuffle out a nod before Fred was easing his way inside you, holding your hips up with his hands to get a better angle. He let you adjust for a moment, knowing that it was a near-impossible feat for you to take him without being stretched out beforehand. It took a moment or two of soft breathing before you whined quietly, wriggling in his hold to gain some friction.

“Calm down, love bug. I know you love daddy’s big cock but you don’t need to be silly,” he chuckled just a little, squeezing your hips until you stopped moving. You relaxed, head slumping against the pillows as you let him take over completely. His hips withdrew from yours before snapping back with an innate force that had you rocking forwards on the mattress, his bones sure to create bruises on your backside.

His tip sponged against your gspot, creating such a beautiful pressure that had you praying he’d cast a muffalito charm on his room. All thoughts quickly vanished from your head, replaced instead by the dizzying pleasure you gained from his thumb now pressing to your clit. His body blanketed your own, nose nestling into the crook of your neck as he added to the growing collection of marks on your neck, “that dress looks so cute on you, baby. Pretty little Easter bunny. I think we should get you a pretty tail, plug you up so you’re always ready for me, any hole I want,”

All you could do was whine pitifully in response, hands fisting the sheets below you as Fred rabbited into you more desperately, more needy. His thumb became more frantic, flicking fast circled onto your sensitive button, only making you pant harder into the linen pillowcases. The steady rhythm he’d been building up with growing erratic, languid thrusts turning sharp and fast. He speared that special spot inside you with every small movement, overwhelming you with euphoria. A pit was forming in your stomach, hardening and expanding with each passing second.

“Daddy! M’gonna cum! F- feels so good,” you were all but screaming, walls clamping firmly down on your boyfriend’s cock and toes curling.

“Go on, peaches, cum all over daddy’s cock. Show me how good I make you feel then beg for me to fill you up,” his breath hit your ear with quick breaths, sending shivers down your spine despite the warmth it bled into your skin. On his command, you let go around him, coating his member in your release. He helped you ride it out, mercifully slowing down just a little so as not to overstimulate you too much.

“D-daddy please fill me up, I need it! I need it so bad!” You moved a shaky hand behind you, curling your fingers in his hair and giving a slight tug that had him shaking, panting into the crook of your neck. He lost all rhythm, jerking radically into you and spilling deep inside. The deep, rumbling groan that emitted from his lips was more than enough to get you slick once again.

“That’s it, bunny, take it like a good girl,” and fuck, if his dirty words didn’t turn you on then something was entirely wrong. He made no move to pull out, only flipping you over to face him, “now, how about round two? It is Easter, baby, we might as well fuck like rabbits,”

Can you do HP boys reacting to being called daddy for the first time?

pairing(s): reader x every male i've ever written for

warning(s): 18+, daddy kink (obviously), dom/sub roles, mentions of sex/sexual activities

a/n: i love a good daddy kink so this was definitely a treat for me

harry potter

shocked

baffled

literally the pikachu meme

but then he gets all 'fuck yeah i'm the chosen one'

aka 'fuck yeah i am daddy'

his already high confidence is at an all time high

ron weasley

immediately into it

absolutely rails the fuck out of you after

like you literally have no idea where the confidence came from

dirty talk at an all time high

you will be cumming multiple times that night

fred weasley

the smuggest fucking grin you have ever seen

makes you repeat it a million times

has you screaming it by the end of the night

mean dom activated

the man is an absolute menace

ofc he would edge you until you were fucked stupid

george weasley

'are you sure you want to start this, darling?'

he says, right before destroying you from the inside out

was already into it before you but didn't wanna bring it up

the dirtiest things come out of this man's mouth

absolutely a pleasure dom

overstimulation station *alllllll aboard*

neville longbottom

didn't know he was into it before you said it

immediately gets the hardest he has ever been in his life

overwhelmed at first

but he kinda just rolls with

and gives exactly what you wanted

the experience of a lifetime

you guys definitely talk about it after/in the morning

cedric diggory

*he looks up grinning like the devil* (cedric's version)

very smug about it

gets way kinkier than you thought he was

choking, hair pulling, biting, marking, spanking

basically he goes feral

draco malfoy

let's be real....... he brought it up first

he's already so dominant with you that it doesn't really change anything

but he is pleased by it

makes you say it over and over again

in any and all situations from that moment on, you will be calling him daddy

definitely becomes a 24/7 dynamic

absolutely demolishes your pussy

blaise zabini

his hand is immediately around your throat

and starts fucking you so much harder

that's when his dominant side really starts to come out

can flip between mean dom and soft dom at a moment's notice

absolutely brings up a breeding kink for him

sirius black

*he looks up grinning like the devil* (sirius' version)

he can go from 0 to 100 the second you call him daddy

wants to put you on your knees immediately

brat tamer!daddy sirius

loves how dominant it makes him feel having you underneath him screaming for daddy

remus lupin

i feel like he wouldn't be into it at first

but then it would keep happening because he is, in fact, daddy

so he kinda just rolls with it

and finds out he actually really likes it

it's a good way to let go of all his pent up energy

by destroying your pussy

james potter

definitely didn't know he was into it until you said it

but absolutely loses his goddamn mind

pounds the fuck out of your pussy

all your holes really, if we're being honest

absolutely loves the way you calling him daddy sounds

regulus black

absolutely adores it

loves hearing you whimper 'daddy' as he rails you

hard dom but not a mean dom

things get very kinky, very fast after that

like my man just lets lose an entire arsenal of kinks you didn't know he had but you love every second of it

tom riddle

we know this man loves a good title

fucking loves it

makes you call him daddy anytime you two are alone together

he really does consider it a very special thing

and that he has to work to earn that title

absolutely babies you anytime you get too needy

lucius malfoy

soz but i feel like he wouldn't really like daddy

he's more of a sir....or master

but regardless he takes it and runs with it

24/7 dynamic

he's already your sugar daddy anyways