
umm hey guys *waves awkwardly* ~specie : Human (carbon and stardust ) 16 |Anxious | Pansexual Ghost | Gemini | cats| aesthetic | she / her ~ I have so many ship that at this point I basically feel like a fucking pirate ☠️
187 posts
Youre My Downfall, Youre My Muse.My Worst Distraction, My Rhythm And Blues.
“You’re my downfall, you’re my muse. My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues.”

I don’t know how I’d survive without any of these…
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More Posts from I-eat-onions-in-shower
[ billy trying to flirt with ROBIN'S advice ]
Billy : you are like my pink toe . small ,cute , adorable and I might bang you against the coffee table tonight .
Steve : *Shudders*
Robin :(Inthe background) what happened to the ' I must confess that you are the best for my heart, I love you so much. ... I give you all my love because I'm deeply in love with you, I can't do anything without you by my side ,I love every speck of your being ,you are the love of my life and I'll cherish you forever ' You bitch !
Kuroken Headcanon ! who were stuck in my notepad . Enjoy !! 🐈🐓
~kuroo and kenma always wear matching socks . Always .
~kuroo drinks extra extra extra sweet coffee and kenma cringes at his heavy sugar consuming habits
~In winter Kuroo's grandma weaves cute , girly mufflers for him with Cat patches on them ( kuroo is forced to wear them , kenma laughs at them everytime but secretaly thinks they're adorable UwU )
~ kuroo's mom secretaly ships kenma and Kuroo together that's why she is so interested in kuroo's love life .
~At some point kuroken made a pact that they would marry eachother if they are single by 30
~ In winter kenma and Kuroo holds hands for warmth while walking to school .
~Only kuroo is allowed to touch kenma , slung his arm around him or lift him up .Kenma gets anxious if someone else touches him .
~They probably shared their first kiss on cheek when they 7 or 8
~kenma probably knows all of kuroo's cousins and been at all of their family gatherings on weekends .
~ Kuroo has been suffering from suspicious disappearance of 3 of his hoodies . Suspect is Humanoid kitten next door .👀
~They always argue on which cat names are better .(kenma wins every fucking time )
~They once broke in and kidnapped their neighbours cat (the neighbor was a bitch so she deserved it )
~ Kuroo gifted Kenma a Cat Eared headset on his birthday (best gift Kenma ever received )
~ kuroo once burst into kenma's room with only a thin towel wrapped around him . (The reason why is still unknown cuz kenma got so bashful he instantly kicked him out and they never talked about it again )
~ Kenma is more possessive than kuroo . Whenever girls get too close to kuroo or flirts with him or stalls his attention from kenma , he sulks and gives him silent treatment for a day .
~Hinata would be last to find out kuroken are obviously dating .
~Whenever kenma is feeling anxious or panicking he tugs or kuroo's jacket and tries to hide behind him .
~ Once kenma fell asleep of the Volleyball court so kuroo left a note o him saying ' he's dead don't disturb the dead body 'as a joke .
~whenever kenma is having a Panic /anxiety attack or a really very bad day . They naturally cuddle , Kuroo holds kenma really close and tight until he has calmed down . When kuroo is gone ,kenma's sheets and duvets smell like Kuroo for next 2 days which helps him sleep .
~When they were little kuroo had a habit of breading kenma's hairs ,he loved doing it so much and Kenma would let him do it and also tuck small flowers in them . He got into fights with neighbor kids cuz they called kenma girly so kenma would cry for kuroo cuz he got hurt during fights .
~ The owner of kenma's favourite pie shop thinks Kuroo and kenma are dating lol .
Sorry for the long post guys .Love you !
A sinful Fairytale
Once upon a time ...
There was a prince of the kingdom
In the kingdom there was a town
In the town there was a street
In the street there was a lane
From the lane there was a Courtyard
In the courtyard there was a Castle
In the castle there was a Room
In the room there was a bed
On the bed there was box
In the box there were pages
In the pages there were words
In the words there lie the unsung Love .,
Unsung love in the words
Words on the pages
Pages in the box
box on the bed
bed in the room
room in the castle
Castle on the courtyard
Courtyard to the lane
Lane in the street
Street in the town
Town in the kingdom
And in the kingdom their prince wrote his unsung love
For Cinderelvis ,
and there began a sinful Fairytale .
Just a stupid little poem I wrote about the Gay version of Cinderella which was stuck in my notepad .
He was finally able to let the sleep consume him on that cold , lonely night .
After longing for the embrace of warmth ,he replaced it with lifeless duvet .
But the monster under his bed felt pity this time, taking the shot to fill empty heart, he let their fingers interwine together feeling the silky skin against his harsh ,coal like one
"Finally" the human let out a contained sigh of relief "I thought you'd never dare " .The monster hid his blushing face under the darkeness ,As they slept together basking in the warmath of each other in that no longer lonely night ...
Happily ever after .
Monster under bed X human
Smutty One-Liners Part III
“Your eyes are already saying yes, now I just need your mouth to tell me the same.”
“I can never seem to get enough of you.”
“How about we continue this somewhere more private?”
“Oh, can you feel this?”
“We won’t be missed for a couple hours, we should take advantage of that.”
“I went to the gym, so I will be able to hold you up even longer.”
“How about we get really dirty before we shower, so that it’s actually worth the effort?”
“Reality is even better than my dreams.”
“I told you, you would eventually start begging.”
“You always know so well what I like.”
“Oh, you’re such a tease!”
“I’m not necessarily hungry for food right now.”
“You’re so tense, do you want me to make you more relaxed?”
“Hmm, is that a threat or a promise?”
“Who would have thought that this is something that you’re into?”
Part I | Part II
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