Forget Me

Forget Me

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Prompt -  “'Cause I'm not ready to find out you know how to forget me, I'd rather hear how much you regret me and pray to the stars that you never met me than forget me.”

Han Solo knew he had messed up when he watched your face shift, gone was the hurt and anger, your tears seeming to vanish between one blink and the next and he just knew that this was it. He knew he had pushed you too far this time and he wondered if the two of you would come back from this one.

Throughout the years people had struggled to understand your relationship with Han, it always seemed the two of you were arguing, finding something to fight about and hardly even seemed at peace with one another. Of course you had been happy, you had moments of genuine joy around him, moments when you were bursting with so much love for each other. Then there were times when you rubbed each other the wrong way, you refused to budge and see things from his point of view, he’d completely disregarded something you’d said and cause a world of avoidable trouble.

When you fought it was usually done exactly how you loved each other, wild and passionate and hard to control. There was shouting and crying and one of you was always glaring or scowling, it was how Han knew things were ok between you. It sounded odd to outsiders but when Han saw you glaring over at him as he ranted he knew you’d be ok afterwards.

Never in all your fights had he watched you turn stony faced, seemingly shoving your emotions deep down and bricking them up. It set him on edge, he knew something about this fight was different even if it wasn’t as bad as some of your more explosive ones had been but for some reason this seemed to be the one that tipped you over the edge.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You told him quietly, the silence having passed for long enough to set Han even further on edge and your words had his blood running cold.

The two of you had been through so much together, fought side by side, risked your lives for each other, held each other when things got rough and loved each other more passionately than Han had ever thought possible. You couldn’t leave, not after everything. Part of him hoped you weren’t serious, hoped that this was just a cold move on your part to win the argument but he knew you weren’t like that, no matter how nasty some of your fights got.

“Come on, Y/N,” He said anyway, hoping that he was wrong and you were just playing games. He kept his voice lighter that he felt, a joking edge to it that had you swallowing hard and desperately trying to push down every emotion you felt. 

“I’m serious, Han. This is exhausting, it’s the same damn argument over and over. I tell you it’s stupid and reckless and you jump head first into anyway and it usually ends up coming back to me. I mean how many times has somebody sent bounties after me because of something stupid you did. We go back and forth and it’s going to end with one of us dead these days.” You told him, trying your hardest to keep your voice from shaking and the tears from filling your eyes.

“Baby don’t do this. You want me to stop, I’ll stop right here and now.” Han said, knowing you were deadly serious and hating it. He hated how you were right, hated that you pointed out how much danger he put you in when all he wanted was to protect you. 

“How many times have you promised me that?” You whispered and he felt his heart drop because, again, you always had to be right.

“You can’t just walk away from us, Y/N/N, not after everything.” He pleaded with you taking a step closer only to feel his heart ache as you took a step back.

“I’m tired, Han. We’re fighting a war and we’re fighting each other, I can’t do both, I’m exhausted.” You felt like the entire galaxy was weighing you down most days. Days like today where you had stood beside Leia and watched so many from your army, so many friends, die and all you wanted was to come back to your rooms and take comfort from Han.

Instead you had ended up in a screaming match with him, feeling completely and utterly drained to your bones. You had nothing left to give this relationship, you barely had anything left to give to the fight with the Empire. 

Some days you dreamed of taking Han up on his offer of just flying away in the Falcon, the two of you getting far away from everything. You daydreamed often about how different things would be for both of you if you did just run away but you couldn’t, Leia was your friend and you couldn’t leave her.

Still, it was nice to dream.

“Come on baby, please don’t do this, give us one last chance.” You wanted to cave, wanted desperately to give into his pleading wide eyes and collapse into his arms but you knew you couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted it to you knew things wouldn’t change.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered and your voice caught on the words, breaking softly as you fought down a wave of tears that threatened to fill your eyes. 

Han took another step forward and this time you didn’t move away from him, letting him bring his hand up to your cheek before he pressed your foreheads together, looking into your eyes before his fell closed and he brought your lips together.

The kiss was soft and slow, so different from how they usually were. A few tears made their way down your cheeks as you closed your eyes and kissed Han back, savouring the feeling of him against you, letting yourself sink into the kiss but not drown in it, knowing that if you did that you wouldn’t be able to leave.

You were the first pull away, hands coming to rest on Han’s chest as he tried to chase your lips. You knew you had to leave, heart heavy and broken as you pushed away from him and took the few steps needed to reach the door. Han didn’t try to stop you this time as you left, hoping this decision wasn’t permanent.

Months passed without a word from you though. He tried to avoid spending much time on the base but when he was there, well, people liked to talk and were always keen to fill him in on what he had missed. In the few times he had been back he had been informed of your angry words against him, private conversations between you and Leia overheard by the crew. He was told that you had been seen crying most days, sometimes you had to excuse yourself from a planning meeting and somebody would find you alone with tears flowing down your cheeks. Han hated knowing he was the reason for your tears, he never wanted to be the reason you cried and yet a part of him was glad for it because it meant you were thinking about him, you hadn’t just erased him from your thoughts.

Though his heart ached at some of the things he had been told, choice words he hoped had been grossly exaggerated through the rumour mill, it didn’t hurt him as much as he expected it to. If you were dragging his name through the dirt it meant he was still on your mind, it meant you were still holding onto a part of him and that gave him hope. 

Han would gladly take all the criticism you gave him, gladly let you curse him out to anybody who would listen, just to know you still thought about him.

After that night you were heartbroken, through Han’s own wrongdoings, through your constant arguments and your stubborn unwillingness to budge on what you believed in you were left alone. For once you found yourself grateful for the war, you hardly had a moment to sit a stew in your hurt and your pain, though some nights when things were quiet and you’d had too much to drink you tended to drunkenly berate the Captain.

Months went by and you managed to live with the hurt, managed to deal with it and go about your day, thoughts somehow always managing to find their way back to Han Solo. It was strange thinking of him, sometimes you felt so much hate, wanting so badly to get it right with him only to fail each time made you hurt, made you angry at him for not trying harder, angry at yourself for not giving it the final chance he pleaded for. Other times you just felt sad, you missed him dearly. There had been good moments, beautiful moments. You had been at each other's side for so long that to suddenly be without him was lonely.

More months passed and eventually a year had gone by, a long year of days spent aching and longing for you. No matter how far Han went from the base where you were he couldn’t seem to outrun you in his mind, you were always there no matter what he was doing. If he was in the midst of a battle he would think about how wrong it felt not to have your back pressed against his, if he was piloting the Falcon he couldn’t help but miss the way you tried to take over, annoying him by pressing random buttons and instead of your laugh filling the air there was only silence. The nights dragged by painfully slow, he missed you deeply, missed the feeling of you curled into his chest, missed wrapping his body around yours as he held you close, missed waking up and knowing his day would be good just because you were the first thing he saw.

It had been a year and he still missed you so much, he was still holding on hope that you’d take him back, that you still missed him as much as he did you.

It had been a year and you were finally moving on, finally living without the hurt and the pain rather than living with having grown used to it. It may have been a gradual process but you didn’t notice it, not until one day where you were sitting in the cantina and laughing, really laughing, with one of the men from the crew. It hit you like a tonne of bricks that your mind wasn’t on Han and it hadn’t been for a while now.

It was…refreshing. It was nice, even nicer now that you’d actually noticed you were able to get through a day without wanting to cry or rage. You hadn’t realised just how much of your energy it was taking to miss Han. 

Han hadn’t been back to the base in a while now, he knew you hated when he was there, people told him how you locked yourself in your rooms or had Leia send you on a mission whenever he was around. Today he had no choice but to come back and even though he longed to see you, another part of him hoped you still didn’t want to see him just because it would mean you still felt something for him.

He landed on the base, ignoring Chewie’s grumblings about how he wished you were there. He found Leia in the main planning room, the room was filled and yet as he stood in the doorway and saw you he felt everything around him stop. You had to know he was coming, he’d warned Leia two days in advance knowing she would give you a heads up. He could only stare at you, watching as you smiled over at one of the crew a little too friendly for his liking before Leia called out his name. 

His head snapped over to her but from the corner of his eyes he saw you look over at him. If it could be called that, really it was only a half glance, more so at the sudden call from Leia than to look at him before you turned your attention back to the crew member showing you something on the screens.

His heart dropped. There was no pain or longing, your eyes didn’t light up or glare over at him. It was like he was just another member of the crew, a stranger you didn’t know and had no desire to introduce yourself to. It sent a pain right to his heart, his heart was still yours even after a year apart and it seemed you had done the one thing he couldn’t bear to happen, you had forgotten him.

Han nearly lost it then and there, right in front of everybody. He would much rather the crew crowd him and tell him all the nasty things you said about him, hear about how you had cursed and berated him, hear that you wished him dead, hear about you cursing the stars for ever having met him. He would much rather all that than knowing that you knew how to forget him.

It wrecked him, it wrecked him right to the core seeing you dismiss him easily and he knew it wasn’t an act, an attempt to put on a brave face and show him that your separation, your time apart wasn’t affecting you. No, he could tell it was real and he hated knowing you had forgotten him.

Han wasn’t ready to let you go, not even after all the time that had passed. He wasn’t ready to let you forget him but what could he do? Every part of him ached, he was filled with anger and sadness and regret. He should have done something long ago, he shouldn’t have let so much time pass, he should have listened to you and just gave you what you wanted.

He took a step over in your direction, managed two steps before a hand wrapped around his biceps and fingernails dug into his skin. He looked away from you and back to Leia who was glaring at him and shaking her head.

“Leave her alone, Han. You messed up and you missed your chance.” Leia told him, the words weren’t kind but her tone was soft. It was a truth he needed to hear.

Leia had been the one there for you after you walked away from Han. She had been the one who held you as you wept, who watched you scream and pace and drink yourself into a state. She had been the one to stack your workload so high that you were drowning but didn’t have time to think about the man. She had been the one to slowly watch you get better, to go through days where Han didn’t cross your mind.

She liked Han, really she did, but you were her best friend and she hated watching you suffer like you had. You had finally dragged yourself out of that dark pit where Han surrounded your every waking thought and sleeping dream. There was no way she was going to let Han ruin that, she couldn’t bear to watch you go through it again.

“Leia please, that’s my girl, I gotta get her back.” Han pleaded with her, knowing his heart was yours. 

“No Han, she’s not your girl.” Leia told him and pulled him further away from you, watching as he drank you in before she pulled him out of the room. “You lost her, Han and she is finally in a good place. If you care about her you’ll leave her alone.”

Some part of Han knew she was right. Too much time had seemingly passed and it hurt him, it cut him to the core to know that Leia was right, he had lost you. It hurt him, loathe as he was to admit it knowing how selfish it was, but it hurt him to know that you were in a good place because he was supposed to be that good place for you. Now you were living your life and Han wasn’t a part of that, you were happy but it wasn’t Han who was making you happy, though in a way he supposed he was but he was making you happy by staying out of your life.

Even after all this time he wasn’t ready to accept that you could forget him, forget all the good things between you, forget about the love you had felt for each other. He knew he loved you, he knew his heart would always be yours. 

He loved you and he knew Leia was right, if he cared for you he had to leave you alone.

He just hoped that one day you’d remember him again, remember him and take him back. He knew he’d always be waiting for you, he’d still be holding onto the hope he desperately clung too.

_____

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Then and Now, We’ve Got Each Other

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Prompt - ‘Let’s leave this nothing town behind us, we don’t need anything else, we’ve got each other.’

Daryl Dixon wasn’t somebody who enjoyed his life. His dad drank himself stupid every day, beat on their mom until she went and got herself killed. Their dad, when he could stand straight enough, beat on him and Merle so much that both of them had learnt from a young age to hide their marks, at least until they realised that nobody cared.

Merle was the first to drop out of school, nobody fought much to get him back there either. It wasn’t like their dad gave a damn about where they were and the teachers saw the Dixon boys as a troubled pair that would amount to nothing. Merle was always involved in some sketchy business but Daryl learnt not to ask what it was, especially not when it meant Merle sometimes snuck him the occasional sandwich when their dad was passed out.

Daryl had stuck school out for longer than Merle but it didn’t take much longer for him to leave either. He was ready to leave when Merle had but something happened that made his life different, he still didn’t enjoy it, he wasn’t happy but he felt…different.

You had moved states and ended up at a new school. You hadn’t even been there a few days when you’d heard the whispers of the Dixon boys and it hadn’t taken long to realise who they were talking about, the boy in your class with long, dirty hair and even dirtier clothes. You assumed he had a brother who looked equally as dirty and scrawny and felt your heart ache as people gossiped about the pair.

He never spoke to you but he felt less sad when you smiled at him. He knew people spoke about him but he had never cared, nothing these kids said could hurt more than his dad’s fists but still, you made it better.

He lasted a few months before dropping out and you worried the whole week he didn’t show up for school. You weren’t stupid, you had seen the bruises that nobody else seemed to care about, seen the cuts and the way Daryl swiped food so quickly it had taken you a while to notice, you had started bringing extra food in after you had though and leaving it in your place after you left.

You were worried sick that whoever was hurting Daryl had gone too far but there wasn’t anything you could do. You didn’t have a phone number for Daryl, didn’t know where he lived, didn’t know who his big brother was to ask about him.

When the next week rolled around and Daryl still hadn’t been seen you started asking around, ignoring the odd looks people gave you and eventually pieced together enough to figure out where Daryl lived.

After school you walked to where Daryl should live, it was out of the way, run down and had you glancing over your shoulder as you walked down the street trying to find any sign of Daryl. You had only been able to get the street he lived on, not his actual house number, so short of knocking on every house there wasn’t much you could do and sighed to yourself feeling helpless.

The rundown street was surrounded by woods that only made the place seem even more dangerous but just passed it all there was a river and without meaning to you found yourself walking towards it. Twigs and leaves crunched under your feet and you jumped at every sound in the distance but the river was quite nice considering the area and once you were out of the trees it was actually quite peaceful.

You walked for a while before stopping, eyebrows knitting together as you saw a figure in the distance sat alone staring out at the river. You hadn’t ever spoken to him but you’d spent more than enough time looking at him to know it was Daryl and felt a small smile pull at your lips.

At least he was alive.

You made your way over to him, trying to keep your footsteps light even though unbeknownst to you Daryl had heard you long before you had seen him. Daryl had that feeling again, he hated his life, there was nothing good in it but here you were and suddenly it felt different again.

You didn’t say anything when you finally joined him, just sat down on the floor next to him and Daryl couldn’t help but glance at you out of the corner of his eyes. Here you were, clean and neat sitting on the dirty, muddy floor with him.

It made it easier to breathe somehow even as his ribs ached from his dad’s boot.

The two of you sat side by side for a while in peaceful silence, neither one of you knowing what to say and yet it didn’t feel awkward. It was weird to Daryl, he wasn’t used to having somebody with him, not even Merle came out here with him. He was used to being alone, it was better that way and yet for some reason he didn’t hate that you had joined him.

“You didn’t come to school.” You finally said, breaking the silence but keeping your voice soft.

You hadn’t asked a question, there was no reason for Daryl to say anything, he didn’t owe you an answer, didn’t need to explain himself to you but you had come to find him and he had wanted to talk to you for a while.

“Dropped out.” He finally muttered, not looking at you as his voice came out weak and croaky…he wasn’t used to speaking much.

You didn’t know what to say to that and kept looking ahead at the river in front of you. Daryl looked even skinnier than when you had last seen him and this time he had a split lip and black eye that made you wince.

You wished you could do something to help him but you figured Daryl wouldn’t exactly be the type to let you call the police for him. People whispered about the Dixon family, they knew full well what was going on, if somebody was going to step in they would have long before you showed up in town.

So maybe you couldn’t get Daryl away from his house, maybe you couldn’t stop whoever was hurting him but you could do something. You could be a friend to him, give him somebody to talk to who wouldn’t judge him and use it to gossip, you could be there for him and bring him food and make sure he had somebody on his side.

“I brought this for you.” You said, turning to root through your school bag and pulled out a sandwich, a chocolate bar, and an apple as well as a bottle of soda.

You held the items out for Daryl who finally looked at you properly, he hid it well but you could see the shock on his face, the surprise that somebody was helping him.

“Don’t need y’to feed me.” He muttered, turning back to face the river and you bit back a sigh.

“I know you don’t.” You told him honestly because to get as far as Daryl had in his house he had probably had to fend for himself, he would see any small act as charity. Sure he had been fine swiping the half a piece of sandwich you left at lunch or the candy you left behind but he would struggle to accept something being outright given to him. “It’s for you though, you don’t have to eat it but it’s there.”

You left the food on the floor in between you and went back to sitting in silence. It was less than ten minutes later when Daryl’s hunger won out and you heard the wrapped being pulled from the sandwich and you had to bite back a relieved smile, watching as Daryl practically inhaled the food, glad to know he had something in him for the day.

It went on like that for months, every day after school you would walk down to the river, though walking through the woods still sent a shiver down your spine, especially when the winter meant that it got dark earlier. Each day you and Daryl would sit together, you always brought food for the two of you and mostly the silence would be filled by you. Daryl liked listening to you talk, it didn’t matter what you were saying he just liked listening. He spoke too, not much but whenever he did you always gave him your full attention, listening to every word he said like it was important.

He always walked you home, by the time you were standing to leave it was well into the night, sky dark and Daryl didn’t feel right letting you walk alone. So he led you through the woods and watched as you glanced around like something was going to jump out at you, it never did but even if something were to happen Daryl wouldn’t let anything hurt you.

By the time he had walked across town to your street, and the first time he had seen where you lived he flushed with embarrassment at the big house in the nice part of town, and walked back to his house his dad was usually passed out and Merle was either nursing his wounds with a beer or out doing whatever he got up to.

Daryl’s life still wasn’t good, it wasn’t enjoyable but the few hours a day he got to steal with you made it easier, it made him see that maybe there could be good in it, maybe he was allowed to feel happy.

When he started working on his bike, months into knowing you, he had to smile when you first saw it. You had looked at him like he was crazy and he probably looked it, split lip that kept bleeding when you made him smile, one eye swollen shut and all kinds of black and purple as he sat surrounded by a rundown bike and even more run down parts and tools.

“There’s no way you’re riding that if you ever build it.” You had told him as you sat down next to him and he felt his lip sting again as he smiled over at you.

“Course I am,” he told you confidently and chuckled as you shook your head, “you’re comin’ on it too.”

“Like hell I am!” You protested, pulling a face at the mess of a bike that lay on the floor in the middle of you.

“Sure ya are, not like I’m gonna let anything bad happen to ya.” Daryl said as he swiped at his lip with his tongue before screwing something into the bike, so focused on what he was doing that he missed the way your face softened into a smile as you could do nothing but stare at him for a second. “‘Sides this bike’ll be the best once I get it runnin’.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m getting on that death trap, even crazier if you think I’m letting you on it.” Daryl just grinned at you again as he put the spanner down and wiped his forehead with his arm. “How long have you been working on this thing anyway?”

“Couple hours? I dunno.” Daryl shrugged and you gave him a look that made his smile grow.

He still wasn’t used to that, it had been nearly a year since you had decided to join him out by the river and he still wasn’t used to smiling so damn much.

“Take a break, Dixon, time to eat.” You told him and he nodded at you as he moved around the bike to sit next to you, reaching over to wash his grease covered hands in the river as you pulled food and drinks out of your bag.

“Why the bike anyway?” You asked as the two of you were eating and Daryl shrugged before finishing his bite.

“Gotta have a way to get outta here someday.” He told you and the answer didn’t shock you, you knew Daryl wanted out of this town, wanted plenty of distance from his dad.

You couldn’t blame him, you were surprised he had stuck around this long but you supposed it wasn’t like he had the money to just up and leave. Part of you wanted to leave with him when he finally put this town behind him, just because your family lived in the nice part of town, just because you had money and food, didn’t mean that your parents were great people. Of course you didn’t have it as bad as Daryl, your parents didn’t hit you, didn’t starve you and let you go however long without a shower or didn’t give you a warm place to sleep. Your parents were just cold people, the kind that weren’t really meant to be parents but it was what was expected of them and you were expected to follow in their footsteps.

“Getting ready to leave me behind?” You asked jokingly but both of you could hear the sadness behind it and Daryl shook his head fiercely.

“Like hell imma leave you in this dump, ya coming with me.” Daryl told you and you couldn’t help but smile over at him, Daryl smiling right back at you and it was then you realised that you had already made your decision without thinking about it because you would follow Daryl Dixon wherever he went.

“Not on that thing.” You laughed and just like that the serious moment was gone and Daryl’s smile widened even as he rolled his eyes.

“Just wait, it’s gonna be great.” He assured you just to hear you laugh again.

It was anything but great. The thing roared to life and spluttered causing Daryl to groan and kick it before the engine ran properly and you gave him an incredulous look when he turned to face you.

“It’s gonna be great.” He told you again, repeating the words he had told you months ago.

“It’s a death trap!” You exclaimed, causing him to laugh and pick a helmet up off the floor before making his way over to you.

“I tested it before you even saw it ‘cause I knew you’d bitch about me gettin’ on the thing.” Daryl told you and you glared at him as he stopped in front of you. “Trust me, it’s good.”

With that he lifted the helmet and settled it over your head, smiling at the glare still on your face. He made sure the helmet was properly on you before he climbed onto the bike and held a hand out to help you on.

“Daryl-” You began but he cut you off.

“Trust me, you really think I’d let ya on here if I didn’t think ya were gonna be safe?” He had a point, Daryl might have had no regard for his own safety but when it came to you…God was he protective.

Daryl grinned when you sighed, knowing he had won and felt your hand in his as you got onto the bike, slotting behind him perfectly. His smile softened as he chuckled in amusement when your arms went around his waist, holding him in a death grip before the bike had even moved.

“Relax.” He told you over the noise of the engine and you just shook your head before he felt the helmet rest against the back of his shoulder. He didn’t need to look at you to know your eyes were screwed shut and he laughed again as he began to move the bike and your arms tightened even more around him.

“I hate this!” He heard you call over the sound of the bike speeding through the road and he smiled widely, one hand coming off the handle to squeeze your arm before he put it back, he was serious when he said he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.

Daryl had known you for long enough now that he struggled to remember his life without you by his side, he remembered a time where he struggled to think of one good thing in his life, struggled to remember what being happy was like, if he had even felt it before.

He knew he had never known true happiness before you arrived, before you broke past every wall he put up and made sure you were a part of his life despite the rumours and how it would have been better for you to stay away from the Dixon boy.

Now, in this moment, the bike carrying you two away from his street, your arms around his waist as you tucked yourself against his shoulder, he knew this was true happiness. You were his happiness and he would do everything he could to make sure you were happy too.

He had been ready for this moment for years, ready to leave everything behind and get away from this town. He had nothing left here, Merle had packed up and left years ago and his dad would soon be nothing but a distant memory.

He would have left so long ago but he refused to leave without you and even though you had been ready to leave with him he wanted to make sure you at least graduated first, you were smart, smarter than him and had a chance of a future doing whatever you wanted. He wouldn’t let you throw that away. If you wanted to come with him that was great, hell Daryl wanted nothing else, but if something happened one day and you wanted to leave then he was going to make sure you had a backup plan.

Daryl had the bike, he’d been working on it for ages now and it was a proper functioning bike. You had insisted on helping build it up, you were getting out of town on it and you’d be damned if it fell to pieces on you. Daryl had scoffed and told you it’d be fine only for you to show up the next day with all kinds of new, shiny pieces, you had no idea what they did but Daryl had been able to upgrade the bike even as he glared at you.

Daryl waited outside the school on his bike, the two of you had no real destination in mind but you were finally ready to leave. He watched you come out of the building and scan the area before your eyes landed on him and your whole face lit up as you ran over to him, Daryl’s hand already out for you to slide yours into as you climbed on the bike.

“Ready t’get the hell outta here?” Daryl asked as he passed the helmet back, ignoring the way you pushed his shoulder because he refused to wear one with a smile on his face.

“More than ready.” You told him as you secured the helmet on your head and wrapped your arms around him, thumb brushing up and down on his stomach as you rested your hands against him.

Things like this had been happening more too, touches between the two of you. You were usually the one to instigate them unless Daryl was feeling brave but they were there and Daryl was hyper aware of them all.

He knew he liked you, he’d be an idiot if he didn’t. Some part of him figured you liked him too, God he sounded like an idiot with all this does she like me does she not crap, but he was never quite brave enough to ask, to make a move. Instead he told himself the lingering touches were enough.

For years the lingering touches were enough, they had to be because whilst the two of you were brave enough to leave your town behind neither of you were brave enough to make the first move. For years you and Daryl had been at each other's side, travelling the country on Daryl’s homemade bike that had broken down plenty and despite all your protests to use the money you’d both earned doing odd jobs to buy a new bike Daryl refused to budge.

You don’t know what was different about tonight. Maybe it was because you’d made your way out to the west coast, the air cool as the sun had long since set and the moon cast a soft glow over the water in front of you and Daryl.

Maybe it was because it reminded you of a time many years ago when you had first realised you had like Daryl. It wasn’t much different than this night except instead of the massive stretch of ocean it was a river and where there had been nothing but twigs and dirt here there was warm sand.

Back then Daryl had been covered head to toe in bruises whereas now his skin was clear with the exception of a few scars that would never heal, scars that still ached him to this day.

Maybe it was just the kind of night where you reminisce and feel a sense of longing for a future that could be, a sense of regret for all the lost moments because neither one of you were brave enough to just tell the other how you felt. It was the kind of night where you realised that one day things could change before you knew it and you’d kick yourself for wasting the opportunity to tell Daryl how important he was to you, hate yourself for letting so much time pass where he didn’t know that.

Or maybe it was just the kind of night where you’d had too much to drink.

Either way you were ready, you were ready to say those words to him and you weren’t scared, you had never been scared in the whole time you had known Daryl. You were always safe when you were with him.

“You’re my best friend,” You found yourself saying, they weren’t the words you wanted to say, they weren’t the only words you would say tonight, but they felt like the right ones to start this conversation.

“You’re my best friend too, Y/N/N.” Daryl murmured, turning his head slightly to press his lips to your hair and you were both content to fall back into a peaceful silence, your head on Daryl’s shoulder as you stared at the water.

“Thank you,” You said after a long stretch of quiet and you lifted your head to see Daryl looking at you questioningly. “I never thanked you for getting me, for getting us out of that town. I’m glad we did it together.”

“Don’t gotta thank me for that.” Daryl told you and he smiled at you, this smile was maybe your most favourite one. Daryl didn’t smile for most people but for you he had a whole variety of smiles, this one though, the shy, almost flustered smile was your favourite. “But I’m real glad we left together too, can’t imagine doin’ this without you.”

“And you’ll never have to. You’re stuck with me, Daryl Dixon.” You grinned at him and his smile turned softer as he lifted his hand to your cheek and brushed his thumb along your cheekbone.

“Ain’t no one else in the damn world I’d rather have.” He told you and the two of you just smiled stupidly at each other for a long moment before you were both moving closer at the same time.

Daryl’s lips were slightly chapped as they brushed against yours, your eyes falling shut at the first touch. Neither of you had much experience and the kiss was slow and a little uncoordinated but felt like everything you had been waiting all those years for. It was every cliche in the book finally getting to kiss Daryl and you practically melted against him as you kissed until the need for air was too much and even then Daryl chased after your lips and placed small kisses against yours as you both tried to catch your breath.

“Waited so long to do that.” Daryl murmured against your lips, leaning forward to place a soft kiss against your lips again.

“Me too.” You breathed out, eyes finally opening as you leaned your forehead against Daryl’s and the two of you looked at each other with flushed faces and smiles pulling at your lips.

You had just met up with Merle back in Georgia when things had gone south. At first it didn’t seem like a big deal, just find some shelter, and stay inside for a few days which then turned into cities being bombed and communications being shut off and the dead roaming the streets.

If you had thought you were attached to Daryl’s side before this then it was nothing compared to now, you were practically his shadow, his hand always gripped in yours unless he needed to use his crossbow which made you wince each time.

Daryl knew you were scared, hell he was freaked out too though he had to do a damn good job of hiding it to make sure you didn’t panic more than you were. It had been easy at the start, he had told you it was just a virus or something, that it’d be fixed in weeks and the two of you would be back on the bike in no time.

Instead you’d somehow ended up with a group, being told that the cities were dangerous and bombs had been dropped. The first night in the camp you had cried for the first time in years and Daryl felt helpless, this wasn't something he could fix but he could damn well protect you, in all the years you’d known Daryl one of the things you had always told him was that he made you feel safe and that wasn’t about to change now.

So he did what he could to keep you safe. This time it was his job to make sure you were fed, when supplies ran low he gave you his share of food and water, you didn’t know of course, God he could already hear the argument if you were to find out. Any time there was danger, whether it be the walkers or fighting in the group, Daryl was always quick to put himself between you and it, much to the amusement of Merle but Daryl didn’t give a damn about whatever his brother had to say so long as you were safe. He kept you close to him, you were never out of his eyeshot, when night came he spent it waking up every few hours to make sure you were still safe and tucked against his chest.

Daryl didn’t know what the hell was going to happen, the world had fallen apart in front of them with no sign that it was going to fix itself. Daryl wasn’t holding out much hope of a cure like the rest of the group were, he could tell you wanted to believe in it but didn’t want to get your hopes up. He hated seeing the realisation on your face when you figured this was it for the world now but then he watched you look at him and some of the despair faded.

The world might have gone to shit but you and Daryl still had each other. Families had been separated but you and Daryl had been lucky to still have the other, something you would never take for granted. You didn’t know how you were meant to survive this, especially not when months later you’d all found out there really was no cure. You were still that scared kid from all those years back who jumped at every noise heard in the woods leading to the river but then, just like now, you had Daryl.

Daryl had one job, he promised himself it years before the world fell to pieces, and that was to keep you safe. It was a promise that was more important now than ever before. He trained you to track, something he had tried to do throughout the years but you always laughed it off, this time you listened to what he had to say because you knew it really was the difference between life and death. He taught you how to use a gun and he hated seeing you with it but he knew it had to be done just in case something happened to him and he couldn’t get to you.

Daryl had one job and that was to keep you safe and he would damn well make good on that promise and get you to whatever hope there was in a future after all of this, and there had to be something for you at the end of this, he’d make sure of that too.

__________

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evermore

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Prompt - ‘And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar this pain wouldn't be for evermore.’

You and Matt had been sitting together on his rooftop, neither of you donned your costumes, content to just sit together under the mid-morning sun, your hands playing with Matt’s and sharing soft kisses. It wasn’t until you pulled away that you saw, off in the distance, a spaceship suddenly appear, the round ship causing your eyes to widen as you listened to Matt and headed downstairs into the apartment, switching on the TV you insisted he have and watching the events play out.

The Avengers, or whatever was left of the Avengers honestly you weren’t sure who was a member and who wasn’t anymore, seemed to have it covered. There was footage of a wizard or two who you didn’t know, Tony Stark was there and you recognised Bruce Banner, then there were the aliens. Whilst there was no sound you could see one of them talking, Tony Stark not looking impressed and cutting him off before the wizards used their powers and suddenly they were fighting.

“Hey, is that Spidey?” You grinned at Matt when you saw a familiar figure swing into frame and Matt raised an eyebrow at you before shaking his head.

“Isn’t this above Spider-Man’s paygrade?” Matt groaned and you laughed before turning back to the screen.

Both of you knew Spider-Man fairly well at this point, neither you or Matt had shared who you were under your masks and neither had Spidey but sometimes he swung by the Kitchen and he was always fun to fight alongside.

You continued to watch the screen, narrating what was going on as it happened, laughing about how insane the camera people were, literal aliens were tearing the streets of New York apart and they were still getting the money shot.

“Wait…” You said, sitting straighter in your seat and leaning forward, Matt raising an eyebrow as he waited for you to continue. “Spider-Man’s on the spaceship…and the spaceship’s gone.”

“Spider-Man was on it?” Matt asked, feeling a wave of worry for the kid because at the end of the day that’s all he was, a kid who put way too much responsibility on his shoulders.

“Iron Man’s heading up too so he should be good.” You said, leaning back into the sofa and letting out a deep breath before cuddling into Matt’s chest, his arm going around your shoulders.

“Aliens.” You grimaced, years of living in New York, years of playing vigilante and you still didn’t think you’d ever get used to everything that happened here.

“Let’s just hope they don’t come back.” Matt chuckled as he pulled you closer, placing a kiss to your head and you nodded before reaching over to turn the TV off, not needing to see reruns of the fight.

It was only a few hours later, you and Matt were back on his rooftop, Matt was talking about the people of New York and what they were doing. It was amazing how everybody was able to simply snap back and carry on with their lives like aliens hadn’t invaded this morning. It was truly ridiculous really and you couldn’t help but smile as you cuddled into Matt who was telling you about a business meeting happening right next to the clean up where cars had been tossed around the streets.

“There’s a school field trip, not too far away, a bunch of kids at MOMA still talking about the spaceship whilst their teacher tries to get them to focus on the trip.” Matt told you as he ran his fingers through your hair, yours trailing along his stomach. “He’s not having much luck.”

“Aliens invade the Earth and everything continues on as normal.” You laughed softly and felt more than heard Matt’s chuckle as it rumbled in his chest. “I think I’ll stick to criminals and the occasional ninja.”

“Not ready to take on the aliens yet? Join the Avengers?” Matt asked and you turned to muffle a laugh into his chest causing his smile to widen.

“I think I’ll stick to our little corner of Hell’s Kitchen, leave the aliens to someone else.” You said because as much as you liked fighting at Spider-Man’s side, especially on the few occasions you’d joined in a bigger fight, you couldn’t stomach the thought of going up against aliens, against powers you knew nothing about.

“Yeah,” Matt sighed softly, tilting your head back gently with the hand in your hair. “I like our little corner.”

You smiled into the kiss as Matt leaned down and you met him half way, the kiss wasn’t hurried, there was no urgency in it. It was soft and lazy, both of you taking your time, not in any rush, both content in each other’s arms.

It was only when Matt pulled away with a frown did you feel a sense of urgency, not quite sure why yet but if Matt was making that face then something was definitely wrong. He stayed silent for a few moments, crease apearing in between his eyebrows as he tilted his head, listening for something you couldn’t hear and you hoped it was just him deciding if a situation needed Daredevil’s intervention.

But when Matt shot up into a sitting position, forcing you up with him from your spot on his chest, you panicked. Matt’s face had gone pale, paler than you’d ever seen with the only exception being when he’d lost too much blood. His head tilted further to the side like he was straining to hear something before his mouth fell open with a silent gasp and you could see his eyes widen.

You trusted Matt’s judgement and for him to look this scared, this worried and confused then you knew you should be scared too.

“Matt, what’s happening?” You asked and it seemed to pull Matt’s attention back to you, shaking his head almost in disbelief but he didn’t answer for a long moment. You could tell he wasn’t ignoring your question, could see the way his mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. “Matt please, you’re scaring me.”

“Something’s wrong.” He told you, his head shifting in every direction like he was hearing too much at once. “The city, it’s…”

In all the time you’d known Matt, from first time meeting him when you were both hidden under your masks to the time you’d spent together as Matt and Y/N, you’d never seen him like this before.

It was terrifying.

“Matt, please tell me what’s happening.” It had to be the aliens, it was the only explanation but you couldn’t see any giant spaceships, no aliens ascending from the sky. As you glanced around it just looked like a regular day.

“It’s, I don’t know, it’s like people are disappearing. I can’t hear- Y/N, I can’t hear their heartbeats, they’re just gone, they’re going out.” Matt told you, turning his attention back to you as his voice trailed into a whisper and you stared back at him with wide eyes.

“What do you mean, gone?” You asked as a wave of anxiety flooded through you and Matt shook his head, turning back towards the streets as he listened.

“I don’t know, I just-” Matt began but cut himself off, his head snapping around to face you, wearing an expression you’d only ever seen once on his face.

It was the expression he wore when you had been shot, he could hear everything and he barely got you to Claire before your breaths came few and far between. Claire had barely managed to bring you back to him but you still remembered that haunted look on his face and swore you’d be more careful because you never wanted to see it again.

And now here it was and you didn’t know why.

Not until you looked down anyway, a strange sensation running through your body and you let out a panicked cry as you saw your hand breaking off and separating into tiny specks of dust.

“No, no, no..” Matt’s voice had you snapping your head up to look at him, tears stinging at your eyes and you could see them pooling in his.

“Matt, what’s happening to me?” You asked, the tears slipping down your cheeks and Matt let out a choked sobbed, pulling you into his arms, holding you tightly like he could keep you in one piece. “Matt, I’m scared.”

“No, no, shh, you’re ok, you’re ok.” Matt murmured, his lips finding their way to your forehead, letting them linger there and you could feel his tears wetting your skin.

“Matt, plea…” Your voice trailed off into nothing and Matt was slumping over, you suddenly not in his arms and your breathing, your sobs, your heartbeat was just gone, like it hadn’t been there to begin.

The tears fell past Matt’s eyes, heartbroken sobs leaving him as he stayed hunched over on the roof of his building and as he cried he heard so many in the city doing the exact same thing whilst more and more heartbeats faded into nothing.

The Blip.

That’s what they were calling the damn thing. The thing that took you had a name and Matt despised it.

It had been eight months, eight months since that warm, sunny day in spring, eight months since you had been taken from him. Now it was November, the sky was grey and Matt could still hear the fear in your voice as you pleaded with him. Eight months without you, eight months where he had become nothing but a shell of himself.

Eight months of replaying every memory he had of you because the thought of forgetting you sent an ache through his heart. Eight months of thinking about all the words he should have said to you, words he would never get to say to you.

Matt stood by the window, the weather seemed to match his mood. He could hear the rain smacking against the window and the pavement, could hear the rumble of thunder, could feel the coldness on his skin but he didn’t care.

He’d been numb since that day all those months ago. At first he put on the Daredevil suit every day and found bad guys to take his anger, his pain, out on. Frank’s words had run heavy in his head, letting him know he was only one bad day away from being him and Matt knew he was right, he just didn’t think the bad day that would push him over the edge would be losing you.

It had seemed so unimaginable months ago that it never even crossed his mind. When you put on your mask you were always with him, fighting side by side, he always had your back so he knew you’d be safe.

But now you were gone and Matt was left alone. It had been months since he put the suit on, it didn’t feel right anymore, like it suddenly didn’t fit but he knew it was because you weren’t there with him. Daredevil had worked alone for so long before you showed up but then you had refused to leave and he found he actually liked working with you.

Matt couldn’t even remember why he used to put on the suit, couldn’t remember what he used to fight for. Everything seemed so pointless without you. How was he expected to just go on about his life? How could he pretend that he was ok when he felt like a piece of him had been ripped away?

He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t fake it until it didn’t hurt anymore because it would always hurt, he knew the pain and heartbreak and the rage he felt would be for evermore.

Somehow five years passed, five long painful years. Matt was surprised he was still alive in all honesty because he had completely lost himself. Considering how reluctant he had been to let you into his life at all back in those early days, he had to hand it to you, you really had wormed your way deep into his life, entwining yourself around every part of it and making it impossible for him to move on.

Not that I ever tried to move on, Matt mused to himself as he walked the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. He was practically catching his death, the cold was bitingly chilly and the rain was almost painful but still he hadn’t bothered to grab a coat on his way out of the door. He just needed to be out of the apartment.

What had once been an empty place had been filled with lots of little trinkets and all the things that made it feel like a home. Sometimes Matt thought about moving, there was too much you in the apartment but ultimately he never did, he couldn’t leave behind something that was a part of you.

It had been five years and Matt hated himself for forgetting the sound of your laughter, he hated that he knew your favourite song but couldn’t remember how you sounded as you sung it whilst dancing around his kitchen, he hated that his sheets and his sweaters didn’t smell like you anymore.

It had been five years since you died and five years since Matt Murdock became a ghost, still alive but really he had died that day with you. Some days he thought about doing it, about ending his pain but he could never do it, catholic guilt and all that.

He knew he’d feel this loss until he took his last breath and some days he longed to put the suit back on, to pick a fight and not fight like he used to, to let the other guy get the hits in until Matt felt himself slipping away from the world.

It was tempting but he couldn’t bring himself to do that either. So instead he was doomed to this life, for the pain to last for evermore.

He was so lost in thought that he missed it at first. It wasn’t until he bumped into somebody that definitely hadn’t been there moments before that he took notice, his eyes widening, breath catching as he heard it.

Heartbeat after heartbeat, it was almost overwhelming and Matt couldn’t stop the strangled sob that left him. More and more heartbeats returned, Matt could hear every single one of them, could hear the excited yells and confused murmurs.

It had been five years, five long, lonely, heartbreakingly exhausting years since you died. Five years since Matt Murdock last felt happy but here in the streets of Hell’s Kitchen a grin broke out across his face, tears pouring from his eyes and he didn’t hesitate to turn around.

He ran, he ran like his life depended on it because it did. As he got closer to the apartment he paused, nearly tripping himself up because there, that was a heartbeat Matt Murdock knew, one he had forgotten the sound of but now he heard it again it was hard to remember how he could have ever forgotten.

He kept running, he ran all the way up the stairs and through his apartment before he was on the roof and there you were. It was really you.

“Matt?” You asked and Matt felt his knees buckle beneath him, barely managing to hold himself upright as he forced his feet to move towards you.

He had to know you were real and when he lifted his hand and cupped your cheek he couldn’t stop the heaving sobs that escaped him and he buried his face against your neck, holding you tightly against him.

“Hey, it’s alright, you’re ok.” You murmured, rubbing your hand up and down his back whilst the other wrapped around his waist. “You’re ok, what happened?”

You didn’t know, Matt thought. He had gone through the worst five years of his life and you had no idea what had happened. Matt was going to have to be the one to explain that five years had passed without you, that the world had somehow carried on without you.

But that didn’t matter right now, Matt wasn’t sure he was capable of words at that moment. The tears and sobs weren’t slowing down but he didn’t care, it had been so long, so damn long, he never thought he’d have you back and now that you were here Matt was never letting you go again.

“Matt, baby,” You whispered, kissing his hair and pulling him closer.

You were so painfully confused, mind fuzzy and unable to remember anything. One minute it was sunny and you had been on the roof with Matt, the next it was pouring down and Matt was nowhere to be seen. You’d only been out in the rain for a few moments before Matt had burst onto the roof like a mad man, staring straight at you like you were a ghost.

“Hey baby, can we go inside, I don’t want you to get sick.” You said softly, noticing how pale Matt had been before he hid himself away in your neck. You had seen the dark circles that were practically black eyes and how gaunt his features were, it looked like you weren’t the only ghost on the roof.

Matt didn’t say anything for a long moment but then he nodded into your neck, placing a kiss to your skin causing you to shiver before he pulled away, his hand coming up to cup your cheek again and he brought your foreheads together.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He whispered brokenly and despite having no clue what was going on you felt your heart break for him.

It wasn’t long before the two of you were in dry clothes and Matt had you tucked under the covers on the bed, pulling you against his chest and holding you tightly in his arms, terrified that you’d disappear again.

“Think you can tell me what’s going on now?” You murmured as your fingers drew random shapes into his chest, from where you lay you could feel Matt’s heart hammering against his chest and though he had managed to stop the sobs there were still tears falling down his face.

It wasn’t long before you were in the same position, tears pouring down your cheeks as you held Matt close to you, heart breaking as you listened to him describe what had happened five years ago and all the time in between. Hearing how lost, how broken and lonely he was, hearing that he had been ready to join you years ago, God you were a sobbing mess by the time he was done and the two of you could do nothing but cry and hold each other close.

And yet even with the tears falling down his face Matt felt better than he had in years, somehow you were back from the dead and he would never take a single day for granted again. Matt had thought for sure the rest of his life would be filled with pain and nothing else, yet here you were and Matt knew the pain wouldn’t be for evermore.

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Hold You To That

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Prompt - ‘A person could hold a longing in them all their life, but every now and again it broke the surface and breathed.’

Sometimes it was easier to distance yourself from a situation, when you could see it playing out in front of you, could see that you were only setting yourself up for heartbreak, setting yourself up to fail, it was easier to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.

It was the smart thing to do, taking yourself away from the situation would save you a world of pain, of hurt, of wasting your nights away thinking about the what if’s. And you were smart, you usually put yourself first and could deal with things not going your way.

But when it came to him…god you felt like you were the dumbest person alive. You’d tried at the beginning, you really had tried to step back, to put some distance between the growing friendship when you realised your eyes gazed at his smile for too long, when you realised you were doing anything to hear his laugh, you really had taken a step back and thought of the pros and cons.

There hadn’t been too many cons but there was one major one that stopped you telling him how you felt.

Penelope Garcia also liked him.

You could see it a mile away, could see it in the way she insulted him and complained about him behind his back. You could see it in the stolen glances both of them risked and the smiles that pulled at their faces when the other looked away.

You knew letting your feelings develop would only hurt you but by the time you had realised they were there it was too late.

Luke and you had been fast friends, it hadn’t taken more than a conversation or two for you to feel comfortable around him; to start smiling naturally around him. The two of you worked well together, easily able to read each other without a word and moving together silently to catch whatever unsub you were dealing with. It hadn’t taken long for Hotch to notice and the two of you were paired together more often than not nowadays.

The close bond you’d developed at work bled into your personal lives and it wasn’t long before you were spending as much time at the other's house as you were your own. Luke had a draw of your things in his place, clothing and toiletries swapped from your to go bag into his draw and bathroom, his hoodies had found their way into your closest as his own spare sets of clothes lay in their own draw and a collection of Roxy’s toys and spare bowls occupied a corner of your living room like they’d always been there.

By the time you realised you liked Luke it was too late, you and Luke’s lives were so connected, the daily routines you had made around each other were too developed. You tried putting some distance between the two of you, tried keeping it professional and only seeing him at work but Luke hadn’t let that last for more than a few days before he called you out on why you were avoiding him. Obviously you hadn’t been able to tell him the real reason and that had left you standing in front of him like an idiot as your mouth opened and closed before you were saved by Hotch calling you all into brief on the newest case.

Distance hadn’t worked, so instead you tried just shoving your feelings down. Naturally that also didn’t work but there wasn’t much else you could do. It was hard to hide how you felt, watching as Penelope and Luke went back and forth with each other and having to hide how much it hurt you was difficult at the best of times but when you were surrounded by some of the best profilers in the country…well it was nearly impossible. Thankfully though most of the team hadn’t noticed, you were pretty sure Rossi knew from the sympathetic looks he shot you but he had never called you out on it so you didn’t mind you hadn’t completely been able to hide it.

It had been years since Luke had joined the team and not much had changed, Luke and Penelope had only gotten more comfortable around each other, you had continued to fall harder and harder for Luke as each day passed and kept on shoving it so far down until it hurt.

“Y’know,” Rossi said from your side, causing you to startle as you hadn’t heard him. You had been too busy watching Luke lean against the counter, giving Penelope a soft smile as she had her back turned to him, their words not loud enough for you to hear from your desk. “Sometimes we put other people’s happiness above our own too much.”

You turned away from the break area and looked at Rossi who was leaning against your desk, looking at you with a soft look of concern.  

“Rossi,” you began with a sigh, “I’m not about to ruin my friendship with Penelope just to get rejected.”

“Who said anything about rejection?” Rossi shot back, his lips twitching upwards as you rolled your eyes and gestured discreetly over to the pair.

“Seriously, Rossi? Aren’t you meant to be one of the best profilers? They like each other, I’ve known that for years now so any hurt I’m feeling is on me.” You told him, trying to keep your voice firm but it shook a little, betraying you, not that you could hide much from Rossi.

“Y/N,” Rossi sighed, bringing his hand up to rest on yours but you shook your head and pulled away from him as you stood from your seat.

“Please just drop it, Rossi.” You pleaded softly and Rossi just nodded at you sadly, watching as you walked away.

Luke’s attention was pulled away from Penelope and over to you, his smile softening as he watched you and Rossi talking amongst yourselves. It only took a moment before his eyebrows knitted together as he watched you swallow hard, your jaw tensing as you listened to whatever Rossi was saying. It was when you stood up that he took a step forward without meaning to, noticing how shaky your hands were even as you clenched them in a fist to hide it.

He watched as you left the room and missed the way Rossi’s eyes followed him as he left after you.

“Hey,” he called and watched as you tensed before seemingly forcing yourself to relax as you stopped and waited for him to catch up to you with a few quick strides. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” you told him as you looked past his shoulder rather than at him. “Rossi and I were just, it doesn’t matter, everything’s fine.”

“Y/N,” he murmured softly and watched as your jaw tightened slightly, “c’mon talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you told him, keeping your voice as even as you could before taking a steadying breath. “Listen, if there was something to talk about I’d tell you, ok?” You lied and watched as Luke looked over you once more before nodding.

“Alright,” he said with a smile and you felt yourself relax, sure maybe you and Luke would never be a thing and you would spend so much time longing over what could have been but Luke was still here, he was still smiling at you, he was still your friend and that was enough.

It had to be.

“You wanna get some lunch?” He asked you, keeping his tone light and smile in place. “My hands cramping from all this paperwork.”

You laughed and suddenly Luke felt his smile become more real, of course he was still worried over whatever you and Rossi had been talking about but if you wouldn’t talk to him then the least he could do was take your mind off it.

“Sure, I could use a break.” You answered and mirrored his expression back to him even if it did carry a hint of sadness in it, you would savour any moment you had with Luke, dating or not.

“Good, my treat.” He insisted and when you went to open your mouth he shushed you before he broke out into a grin and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he led you to the elevator.

And so it passed like that for a long time, you forcing yourself to be content just being Luke’s friend, watching as him and Penelope settled into whatever kind of relationship they had going and your feelings for Luke just never letting up, never giving you a break.

You thought it might have been easier when Penelope left, much as you hated the thought because you loved Penelope, she was one of your best and closest friends, but not having to watch her and Luke every day at work made it easier to ignore your feelings, ignore the hurt you hated feeling when you saw them together.

It had been easier for a while until covid hit and the team was pulled apart, you and Luke were pulled apart. Where Luke, JJ and Rossi got to stay with the BAU, Spencer and Matt had been sent on secret missions that only Emily, with her promotion, and the other FBI higher ups were allowed to know about, Tara had been sent well honestly you were even sure where she was now but you hadn’t seen here in too long and then there was you.

You had been requested back with the FBI’s Undercover and Sensitive Operation Unit, a job you had worked for years prior to transferring to the BAU. You hadn’t minded at first, honestly you hardly protested at all, Emily promised it was a three month assignment and then everyone would be back together and as much as the thought of not seeing Luke for three months ached another part of you needed it.

But now it had been three years, the undercover mission you had originally been assigned to long since complete, along with four others and here you were in California deep undercover as you worked a drug case. You and Luke hadn’t seen each other for more than a few minutes in nearly two years and now here you were on opposite ends of the country, not even able to call each other for fear of blowing the operation.

Thankfully you were nearing the end of this operation, waiting on one last bit of evidence that would find all the big names in jail before the week was over. It only took two more days before you were in a hotel room, dreading the call where you’d have to decline another operation because…honestly you were drained. You missed your team, you’d done three years of back to back undercover work and you just wanted to go home.

You missed your friends, missed your own bed, your own identity. You missed Luke. God, you missed him so bad. You didn’t know what was happening with him anymore, three years ago the two of you couldn’t have imagined going a day without seeing each other yet alone nearly two years.

You used to love your position with the undercover unit but after spending so much time with the BAU you knew that was where you were meant to be. Just as you sat on the bed and picked your phone up to call Emily and plead with her to get you back it lit up with a call from Luke.

You felt some of the tension leave you just seeing his name before your eyes went wide and you quickly answered it. Luke never called, he knew it was dangerous to call you and you hadn’t let him know your operation was over.

Something was wrong.

“Hey, can you talk?” He asked, a smile on his face as the video call connected but he kept his voice hushed.

“Luke,” You breathed out, cursing yourself as you felt your eyes sting at hearing him for the first time in months, you took a shaky breath before nodding. “I finished my op today, I was just about to call Emily and then you.”

“Oh thank God!” Luke breathed a sigh of relief as his smile broke out into a grin, “I’ve missed you, Y/N/N.”

“I miss you too.” You choked out, feeling the tears you’d tried to blink away well up and you shook your head as you let out a shaky laugh. “I miss you so much.”

You didn’t care if Luke pieced it together, didn’t care that right now you were just too tired to push down your feelings, didn’t care that they had been dragged up to the surface so abruptly and it was too much. You didn’t know if Luke and Penelope were together, you knew they had gone on a date before everything had been ripped apart so you hadn’t exactly been able to keep up to date with how it had gone but right now you didn’t care.

You just wanted Luke.

“Hey, hey, you’re alright.” Luke murmured softly, his own eyes tearing up as he swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffed as you wiped at your eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired, Luke. I just want to come home, I miss everyone so much, I miss you. I’m gonna call Emily and see if she can arrange for me to come back because I can’t do another six months away.”

“Well then I’m glad I called,” Luke smiled and your eyebrows knitted together as you looked at him but before you could say anything Luke spoke, “we’ve got a situation down here and we need you back.”

You let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob causing Luke to grin at you through the phone and you grinned back even as more tears slid down your cheeks.

“Thank you.” You managed to choke out and Luke’s smile widened even more.

Luke had briefed you on what they had so far which, admittedly, wasn’t much. He gave you the rundown and had one of the new tech analysts send you over whatever else they had so once you boarded the plane you filled the five hour flight with getting up to speed with the case.

By the time you landed it was already midday so you got an uber to your apartment, took a quick shower and only spared half of a longing glance towards your bed before changing into some work clothes and heading over to join everyone else.

You felt a wave of relief hit you once you were in the elevator and nearly cried with happiness as the door opened and you could see your desk. You walked in and saw through the window that everyone had gathered in the round table room so made your way up the stairs and stood in the doorway.

It only took a moment for Emily to glance over at you before her face lit up and she made her way over to you, her arms already open and you easily went into them wrapping your arms around her and forcing yourself not to cry.

“Oh it is so good to see you.” She said and you could only nod into her shoulder and grip her a little bit tighter. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you back sooner.”

You nodded again into her shoulder and pulled away from her, giving her a shaky smile. You opened your mouth to tell her it was ok but you were stopped when you saw movement behind her, glancing over her shoulder to see Luke standing up and staring at you with wide, also watery, eyes.

“Y/N.” Luke said softly, so softly you almost didn’t hear him, especially over the sound of your heart pounding in your chest.

Emily looked between the two of you as she stepped aside but you hardly noticed her any more as you took two steps forward, Luke moved forward to and pulled you into his arms, you practically melted into them, unable to stop the tears as you buried your head in Luke’s chest and he gripped the back of your jacket tightly in his fists.

“I missed you so much.” He whispered into your hair and you nodded against him, letting out a shaky breath before you were able to speak.

“I missed you too, every day, every single day.” You told him, the words muffled against his shirt but he heard them clearly and you squeezed your eyes shut tightly when you felt him press a gentle, lingering kiss to the top of your head.

The two of you didn’t move, content to stay in each other’s arms after going so long without seeing each other, needing to feel the other against you, hear them breathing and feel them in your arms to reassure yourself that they were here. You probably would have stayed like that all day if you were interrupted.

“Alright, alright we get it, you two missed each other.” Rossi said, causing you to jump slightly and feel more than hear Luke’s chuckle. “But other people missed you too, kid.”

You grinned into Luke’s chest even as your cheeks were stained with tears before pulling away, looking up at him and feeling your cheeks heat up to see him smiling so softly at you. You finally glanced away and looked over to Rossi who winked at you causing you to laugh softly before you let him pull you into a tight hug.

“I missed you too, Rossi.” You murmured, brushing one hand up and down his back as you lowered your voice slightly, knowing that everyone else in the room could still hear but it didn’t matter. “And I’m really sorry I couldn’t be here for you-”

“Hey now, none of that.” Rossi interrupted and pulled you away from him before placing his hands on your cheeks and gently brushing the tears away causing you to smile sadly at him. “I’m okay and you’re back now, nothing else matters.”

Your heart ached as you looked at Rossi, losing Krystall had taken its toll on him but he was right you were back and he was ok, things would be ok. Rossi patted your cheeks gently before he pulled you close and placed a kiss on your forehead causing your smile to brighten.

“It’s really good to have you back, kid.”

And you were back, immediately thrown into work with no more catching up with anyone. It was impossible to crack anything without Penelope and your heart ached something fierce when Luke offered to go and try to get her back. You’d forgotten how much this bit hurt, for three years you hadn’t had time to dwell on it, too wrapped up in your undercover work to even think about your actual life but now it was like you never left.

You shook your head and focused back on the case at hand, working away until Luke walked back into the room and handed a hot mug which you took gratefully.

“How’d it go with Penelope?” You asked and watched as he shook his head with a frown.

“I get it, you know?” He said and your eyebrows knitted together as you waited for him to carry on. “This job takes its toll on all of us but her, it took everything she had and she never complained. I hate that we’re trying to drag her back into this.”

“If there was another option you’d take it, even if it took longer to crack the case, you’d take it to protect Penelope. This isn’t on you, Luke, whatever happens in this case, if Penelope comes back and it’s too much, that’s not on you.” You assumed they were together, they had to be, it had been years since their first date and there was no denying their chemistry, so you’d sit back like you always had and not get it in the way of that, no matter how much you selfishly wanted to after being away for so long.

“God, I’ve missed having you around.” Luke breathed out and you smiled over at him. “When this case is over I’m taking you out for dinner, it’s my turn to buy.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You laughed and shifted closer to him, close enough that your arms brushed against each other and you hesitated for a moment before letting yourself have one selfish moment, Luke wouldn’t think too much of it, you’d been gone for so long it made sense you’d be a bit more clingy.

You let your head rest against his shoulder and felt Luke relax into the touch as he gently rested his head on top of yours, tilting slightly so he could press a kiss into your hair as he did. Neither of you spoke, both of you were content where you were.

That brief moment of peace was all you were able to steal before you were separated again, Luke working with JJ on finding a connection as you stayed with Penelope, who had thankfully come back because you seriously didn’t know how you were going to finish this case without her.

You desperately wanted to ask Penelope about her and Luke, wanted to know as badly as you didn’t want to know but you couldn’t ask her yet. Now wasn’t the time, right now you had to focus on the case.

“I’m telling you I hate this guy, hate him! I mean first he brings me back to this job and I love you people, Y/N, you know I love you with my whole heart but I was out! And then he refuses to work with me, like I’m the problem, me! And now, now Rossi and Emily are teaming up and making me work with him.” Penelope ranted as the two of you walked to the ballpen, a smile on your face as you listened to her.

God, you really had missed being back.

“Good luck.” You grinned as you made your way over to your desk, Luke already leaning against it, as Penelope turned to glare at you before disappearing into the room with Tyler Green.

“Think Rossi will be able to get anywhere with him?” You heard JJ ask as you joined them, leaning against the desk next to Luke who was looking towards the briefing room with a fond grin.

“I think the real question is, will he survive Garcia? It looks like Tyler Green is Garcia's Most Hated." Luke said, amusement clear in his tone and you smiled even as you felt a pang of hurt at the affection in his voice.

“Sounds like you miss it, buddy.” Tara said with a grin and Luke chuckled warmly as he turned back to you all.

“No. He can have that title.” Luke said, the fondness in his expression staying even as you got to work on the case, pointedly ignoring every time you and Luke brushed against each other.

The case seemed to lead to more dead ends than anything else, victims and witnesses refusing to help and share their story, share who their attacker was, it was driving you crazy.

“Here,” Luke said, handing you a warm to go cup and a sandwich from the coffee shop down the road. “You look like you can use a break.”

“God you’re the best, Luke Alvez.” You grinned as you took the items from him and both sat at your desk. “I feel like I can’t complain though, I mean this case is rough but I’ve missed being here.”

“We never did get a chance to talk about your undercover ops.” Luke prompted after swallowing a bite of his own sandwich. “I know you can’t say much but are you ok? I mean from what little you told me and what I was able to piece together from Emily, it seems like it was just back to back assignments with no chance to breathe.”

“I don’t know, I mean, it’s the unit I worked with before the BAU so I already knew how hard it was but…I don’t know, Luke. I mean I’m tired, I’m exhausted but I also haven’t had a moment to think about adjusting back from that to this. It’ll hit me at some point, it always does, but I guess we’ve been so busy here it just hasn’t yet.” You told him, wishing you could go into detail but even if you were allowed to you wouldn’t share it with anyone, especially Luke, he didn’t need to know the horrors you’d seen out there.

Luke reached over and cupped his hand on your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it rest there as he spoke.

“You call me, the second it hits you, you call me and I’ll be there.” Luke promised and gave you a stern look that caused you to smile before you nodded.

“I promise.” You swore and Luke nodded once seriously before a smile broke out on his face and he switched the conversation to a lighter topic and if your gaze stayed locked on his smile for longer than necessary, well you were allowed to be a little bit selfish sometimes.

“Give me a minute,” you interrupted Luke as you watched Penelope leave the briefing room looking shaken. Luke turned to follow your gaze and frowned in concern but watched the two of you leave together and he knew Penelope was in good hands.

“Hey, what happened?” You asked softly as the two of you entered Penelope’s office.

“I don’t want to talk about it but that guy, Tyler Green, is a jerk and he infuriates me.” Penelope fumed and you nodded at her, knowing her well enough to see she’d shut down even more if you carried on questioning her.

“Alright, so we won’t talk about it.” You agreed easily and she turned to face you with a grateful look. “We’re still waiting for leads to be verified so I’m free until they call me away.”

“How are you?” Penelope suddenly asked and you frowned at her, did you really look so bad that both Luke and Penelope were concerned? “Sorry, I just meant, this whole Sicarius thing has been constant since we both came back, I missed you like crazy and we’re together again and haven’t spoken about anything but this stupid case.”

“I’m okay,” you told her, unsure why you were lying so easily to her but hadn’t been able to tell Luke the same thing. “Once this case is over we’ll have a girls night but for now, I really just want to focus on this case.”

“You’ll tell me if you need anything, won’t you? Even just a hug.” Penelope asked and you couldn’t help but chuckle warmly at her as you nodded, a surge of love filling you as you looked at your best friend.

This is why you stayed silent all those years, why you let yourself fall in love with Luke Alvez without a word. It was because you loved Penelope Garcia, she was your best friend and if Luke made her happy then you would never get between that.

“What’s going on?” You asked Luke as you slipped back into the bullpen a while later and Luke shifted closer to you as he filled you in on the new lead, telling you that there was something connected to Sicarius in Georgia.

“JJ, Luke, I want the two of you in Georgia by nightfall.” Emily commanded and you couldn’t help but frown slightly, watching as Luke’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he glanced between you and Emily, even JJ looked slightly surprised you and Luke weren’t being paired together.

“Um, yeah sure, on it.” JJ murmured as she tapped Luke’s arm and gestured for him to follow her.

“Be safe.” You told him softly and he took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze before nodding and turning to follow JJ and you could only watch him leave before turning to Emily who spoke before you could.

“I need you in with Tyler Green, Garcia refuses to work with him, see if he knows anything about Benjamin Reeves and get him and Garcia on the case together.” She said, passing a file to you before turning on her heel and walking away.

You sighed before heading into the briefing room and placing the file down.

“You’re new.” Tyler said as he lifted his gaze to you and you nodded at him.

“Agent Y/L/N.” You told him before jumping right into why you were here. “Benjamin Reeves, does that name ring a bell to you?”

“Well hello to you too,” he muttered but you just sat down next to him and pulled the tablet close to you. “Reeves, no, never heard of him. Should I have?”

“Maybe, he’s a possible Sicarius connection we’re looking into, could be nothing, could be something.” You explained, turning to face Tyler. “ Reeves had a thing for biting people, a wannabe cannibal.”

“Now that rings a bell.” Tyler told you and you raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue. “Look up the term ‘overbite’, you should get something.”

It took you a few minutes to pull the servers up, you weren’t bad with technology but you were no Penelope Garcia and all of this looked like a different language to you. Eventually you had overbite searched up and results appeared. You and Tyler went through the chats together, him explaining the private chats to you as you searched for something.

“I don’t get it.” You murmured to yourself causing Tyler to raise an eyebrow at you.

“Get what?” He asked when you didn’t say anything else and just continued to stare at the screen.

“A rich kid like him, he has everything, there’s no way Sicarius found a way to convince Reeves to kill himself when things got bad. This Sicarius, much as I hate the bastard, is smart, he’s planned for every version of events, every contingency, so why bring Reeves in?” You questioned, not so much directing them to Tyler but needing to work through it aloud.

“Think about it,” Tyler said and you turned to look at him expectantly. “Sicarius has this whole operation, something like this costs money. Your Reeves guy, he’s the funding, I’d bet Reeves knows all about Sicarius’ operation and he has special privileges.”

“But soon enough Reeves’ will just be a loose end.” You realised, standing up to go and tell Emily they needed to find Benjamin Reeves.

You didn’t have a good feeling about this.

Before you left the room you turned to Tyler, you needed Penelope on this case and Tyler seemed to be proving useful.

“Listen, we need to know everything Reeves and Sicarius are talking about. We need to find out what their plans are. This could be our shot at Sicarius. Now I can’t do it, you don’t know where this private forum is but…” You said watching the man sigh before he interrupted you to finish your sentence.

“Penelope can. Fine, bring her back in.” He told you and you laughed at him before shaking your head.

“I have a serial killer to help catch, you’re gonna have to grovel and get her back yourself.” You grinned at him and watched him put his head in his hands. “Talk to Rossi, he’s good at messing up with women and winning them back.”

“Emily!” You called as you watched her enter the room, jogging down to meet her half way. “Tell me you still have Reeves’ here.”

“No, he was let go.” She told you and you cursed softly causing her to frown. “What is it?”

“We need to get to him. Now.” You told her and you were already moving past her, nearly knocking into the Deputy Director.

Both of them followed you out and into one of the SUV’s as you filled Emily in on your theory that Reeves’ was a lot closer to Sicarius than any of you had originally thought, that Reeves could be the one to lead you to the head of the network.

“Fuck!” You cursed as you all entered the house and saw the Senator dead on the floor, bite marks clear on her face and body and you turned away from her, not able to feel anything but anger at the thought of your best lead slipping away.

The ride back to the office was quiet and you prayed Penelope had managed to find something, no doubt that Tyler would have listened to you and convinced her back to the case. You checked your phone before getting out of the car and forced yourself to breathe when you saw Luke hadn’t texted you back.

As you and Emily walked in Tara was already making her way over to you with a tablet in hand.

“Benjamin Reeves' jet just touched down at the Municipal Airport in Whitfield County, Georgia." She told you both urgently.

“What?” You said, frowning as you snatched the tablet of her and read over it.

“That's where he said the ‘buried treasure’ was.” Emily murmured as she looked over your shoulder and down at the tablet.

“Something's not right.” You said as you pushed the tablet into Emily’s hands and pulled your phone out, already pulling up Luke’s contact.

“What...he should be flying to Brazil. Why would he lead us to more evidence?” Emily asked in confusion as she thought back to their conversation.

“You think it's a trap?” Tara asked her but Emily shook her head.

“No. I think Benjamin Reeves is a patsy and he's too dumb to know it.” She said.

“I’m calling Luke, I’ll let him know him and JJ have company.” You said, phone already against your ear as you spoke.

“Hey Y/N/N, we’ve just got here, how’s everything back there?” He asked and you felt a shiver of fear run through you, something really wasn’t right with this case and it had you on edge. Every part of you wanted to tell Luke to fall back, that it was a dead end and to come home, part of you wanted to scream at Emily for not letting you go with Luke.

“Reeves is coming to you.” You said instead and pushed everything down into the same space you kept your feelings for Luke. “His jet just landed there, be careful Luke.”

“Hey, I’ll be fine.” Luke assured but something in you wasn’t letting you relax.

“Luke,” you breathed into the phone and you heard him tell JJ to wait a second, there was some rustling and you assumed he was taking the phone off speaker and moving a few steps away from JJ.

“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, seeing Tara and Emily looking over at you and you followed Luke’s lead as you moved into the hallway.

“I don’t know, ok? I just-Luke, I have a really bad feeling about this one.” You told him, not wanting to worry him but you always trusted your instincts, you’d rather Luke be overly aware of his surroundings and nothing happening than have him let his guard down and Reeves get the upper hand.

“Alright, okay, I trust you, Y/N. We take this one seriously, careful every step of the way. I’ve got JJ watching my back.” Luke assured and you took a shaky breath that he picked up on. “Hey, I promise you I am going to be back with you soon.”

“God, I hate Emily for not letting me go with you.” You mumbled into the phone and let Luke’s laugh wash over you.

“Yeah, right now I’m pretty glad she kept you there if you think something bad is going down out here.” He told you and you couldn’t help the fond eye roll that escaped you. “Rather have you worrying back there than risk anything happening to you out here.”

“Just be careful, ok?” You asked softly and you heard his voice soften too when he spoke.

“I promise.” He told you seriously, causing you to nod even though he couldn’t see you. “We’re gonna head out now, satellite found a hidden door, our body cams and radios are gonna be on the whole time, alright?”

“Alright. Just…I’ll see you soon, yeah?” You asked and you could hear the smile in his voice when he replied.

“Yeah Y/N/N, I’ll be home soon.” He said and the two of you let the silence wash over you before you finally pulled the phone away and hung up, heading to the briefing room where everyone else was already set up.

“We’re live.” Penelope said as the screen showed both body cameras and she pointed out which was which.

You moved over to stand at the table, the radio in front of you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe, hardly let yourself blink as you scanned the screens in search for anything.

You really didn’t like this.

The team around you spoke but you paid them no mind, only listening when Luke’s voice came through the radio.

“We’re going in.” He announced as you watched him pull the bunker door open and you stood straighter at his words, dread filling you as they entered.

Luke walked in first and JJ followed after him, giving you perfect sight of both Luke and the bunker. At first it just looked like the other shipping containers that had been found but then you saw something, something the others hadn’t clocked yet.

“Oh my god.” You whispered and startled when a cell phone rang in the container.

“What the hell is that?” You heard JJ ask but your hand pressed the button on the radio before anyone could register what was happening.

“Luke, get the hell out, it’s a bomb!” You yelled into the radio and watched as Luke shouted at JJ to get out.

Then the cameras went out and you could only stare at them in horror.

“Luke, Luke, come in.” You said into the radio but there was no answer. “Luke, please.”

The team around you spoke but you couldn’t hear them, you continued to plead into the radio, begging for Luke to answer you until you were pulled away and only then did you snap back to reality to see Rossi looking at you in concern but before he could say anything Penelope called your attention to the screen.

“Oh! Oh! One of the camera’s is back online.” Your head shot around, tears falling harder down your cheeks when you realised it was JJ…Luke’s was still out. “Where’s Luke? I take back every mean thing I ever said about him. Please let him be ok.” Penelope said before excusing herself to see if she could get communications working from her office.

You didn’t have it in you to be hurt by the blatant reminder that him and Penelope were a thing, you didn’t care, you just needed him to be ok.

You turned to leave the room but Rossi caught you by the arm and gently spun you around to face them, Emily raised an eyebrow at you as Rossi spoke.

“Where are you going?” He asked and you shook your head as you tugged your arm free from his light grip.

“Georgia.” Was all you said before turning to leave again but Emily stopped you this time.

“Y/N, wait-”

“I’m going, Emily!” You snapped as the tears fell harder down your face. “You already stopped me going once, you’re not stopping me again.”

“Douglas,” she said after giving you a hard look, “it’s time.”

The Deputy Director didn’t say anything, just looked from Emily to you before nodding and gesturing for her to go. You didn’t know what they were talking about and honestly you didn’t care, you were going to Georgia.

You pressed the button for the elevator and shot Emily, Tara and Rossi a confused look as they stood with you but before you could ask what they were doing Garcia came up to them just as they stepped into the elevator.

“Where are you- you’re going to Georgia. Driving or…oh,” Penelope managed a smile as she nodded at you all, piecing together something you hadn’t. “Return it filled up and not just with fuel. Bring them home.”

“We will,” Emily said confidently enough that you believed her and you just hoped she was right. “Wheels up.”

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at her, you hadn’t asked but with all the politics and budget cuts it made sense why the jet hadn’t been mentioned. You didn’t think too much about it though, just thankful you had a quicker way of getting to Luke.

The hour-long flight felt like forever. Rossi sat next to you on the plane but other than holding your hand and letting you squeeze it tightly in yours he didn’t try and comfort you. You hadn’t stopped crying, you needed to see Luke with your own eyes, praying to God he was alright.

“Oh, thank God.” Emily said as you arrived on the scene and JJ and Luke made their way over to you.

You had frozen a few steps behind Emily, Tara and Rossi when you saw Luke. He looked fine, a bit beat up but considering what had just happened he looked fine. Your eyes filled with tears again and Luke’s gaze immediately drifted past the other three to land on you, making his way over to you just in time to catch you in his arms as you wrapped him in a tight hug.

Luke hugged you back just as tightly, burying his face in your hair and struggling to hold back his own set of tears as he heard you sob into his chest as your fingers dug into his back with how tightly you held him.

The others watched on as they spoke quietly among themselves about what had happened but Luke shut them out and focused solely on you. He knew he loved you, hell he’d known that for years now, but he never realised just how much until he’d nearly been taken away from you. Before he passed out, not even registering if he was ok or not, his thoughts had been consumed with you, regret from not telling you how he felt, guilt that you were watching him die through the body cam, sadness that he’d never felt your lips against his.

He swore to himself he was going to tell you.

“I’m alright, cariño, I’m alright.” He murmured into your hair and you shook your head, shifting into the hug like you could bury yourself further in his chest. “Yes baby, I’m ok, I promise.”

It took a few more minutes until you were able to pull away from each other and even then you didn’t go far, your hands coming up to cup Luke’s face, his hands covering yours as he ran his thumb across your knuckles.

“Next time I’m coming with you.” You told him shakily as tears continued to slide down your face and Luke chuckled as a tear slid down his cheek.

“Not a chance.” He answered and you just shook your head. “But the next time you have a bad feeling about something I’m listening.”

Luke leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, murmuring once more that he was fine, before he wiped at your tear stained cheeks.

To nobody’s surprise Reeves turned up dead and Sicarius was missing again. With all the evidence from the container turned to ashes there wasn’t much you could do but head back to Quantico.

You were exhausted by the time you got onto the jet and were asleep against Luke in seconds of being up in the air. Luke wasn’t complaining though, he just wrapped his arm around you and pulled you even closer.

“So does your brush with death mean you’re finally ready to tell her how you feel?” Rossi asked once he was sure the girls were distracted and you were asleep.

“You’ve been pushing this for years now, Rossi.” Luke sighed, looking down at you in his arms and thinking about how right it felt. “Every time I told you no, I couldn’t risk our friendship, couldn’t risk losing her.”

“And now what are you telling me?” Rossi asked with a smile, knowing full well what the answer was but wanting to hear the younger man say it.

“I’m telling you that I nearly died today.” Luke said steadily and paused for a moment, Rossi didn’t say anything, knowing he needed to sort through his thoughts. “I nearly died today and the last thing I thought was I really hated that Y/N was watching this. I didn’t want her to see that, Rossi.”

“I know you didn’t, kid.” Rossi told him, thinking back to your reaction back in the briefing room, watching you shut down, plead with a dead radio and snap at Emily.

“I’m telling you I love her.” Luke finally confessed out loud. “I love her and I have for longer than I know and I already lost so much time with her when she was sent back to the undercover unit and I nearly lost the rest of my life with her today. I can’t risk having another day where she doesn’t know, even if she doesn’t feel the same, I don’t care anymore, I need her to know how I feel.”

Rossi sat back in his seat with a smug look of satisfaction that had Luke rolling his eyes and suppressing a smile. For years now Rossi had been hounding him over when he was going to make his move, he knew if this worked out for the two of you he’d never heard the end of it from the man.

“Attaboy.” Was all Rossi murmured before the two of them settled into silence and Luke let himself savour the feeling of you in his arm.

By the time you were walking back in the building Tyler Green had been released without charges for his cooperation, another lead came up and Luke and Tara were being assigned to it and before you could say anything Penelope rushed over and took JJ and Luke into her arms.

As Luke, Emily and Tara worked on the death row inmate lead you and Rossi sat in the briefing room with Penelope in an attempt to pull up anything about what Sicarius’ next plan was. Like most of this case though it seemed impossible to find a solid lead even  after the hours you'd spent reading through the forums.

It was when you had moved to comparing the victims that Penelope’s phone rang and you glanced at her questioningly as she excused herself in a hurry, turning to look at Rossi who just shrugged and turned back to the boards in front of you.

“Here,” You said as you handed Luke a mug of coffee before pulling a chair up next to him at his desk, “you look like you need it.”

“Thanks.” Luke sighed tiredly as he brought the mug up to his lips, you were able to catch a soft smile before it was hidden by the mug. “This case is exhausting.”

“No luck with the death row inmate then?” You asked and he sighed again, a deep and tired one that you felt deeply, you were all running on even less sleep than usual as this case took up every moment of your time.

“We have a guy who’s prepared to die to keep the man he loves safe. The boyfriend just came in and gave us evidence that Herrera couldn’t have committed the murder because they were together. Now Tara and her girlfriend are fighting but at least we got the guy off death row.” Luke filled you in between sips of coffee and you watched him lean back in his chair and let his eyes fall closed.

“And I thought me and Rossi were having fun scrolling through post after post of wannabe serial killers.” You chuckled tiredly causing him to turn his head and smile softly over at you. “How are you holding up anyway? I feel like we’ve barely had a minute after coming back from Georgia.”

Luke let out a chuckle as he nodded, bringing his hand up to rub at his face before letting it fall, he seemed to hesitate for a moment before reaching across and taking your hand in his, his thumb brushing across your knuckles as he locked eyes with you.

“Y/N, I heard that bomb go off and I didn’t know what was gonna happen.” Luke sighed and you squeezed his hand softly, trying to offer some comfort without interrupting him. “I figured I could have died, now I know Sicarius timed it perfectly and warned us but then, I didn’t know if I was gonna live or die and my only regret, the only thought in my head was-”

“Y/N, Luke!” Penelope exclaimed loudly, her heels clicking against the floor as she ran into the bullpen and just like that whatever peaceful, hopeful moment that had settled between you and Luke vanished as you jumped, his hand pulling away from yours as he turned to Penelope, your gaze staying on him a second longer before you turned and faced her too. “Meeting room, now!”

Luke turned to glance at you and you shrugged before following the other woman into the room where JJ, Emily and Rossi were already gathered. You took a seat next to Luke, desperately trying to ignore the way your knees brushed together and forced yourself to focus on Penelope informing everybody about her theory on how Sicarius hunted.

It felt like there had been a shift in the case with the new information and you wanted to be happy over it, hell you were happy, for the first time since you’d been called in it actually felt like you could catch the unsub. But then there was the Luke of it all. You had been so close, Luke’s hushed words felt like the confession you’d wanted for so long and you were so close.

“Y/N, I need to talk to you. Now.” Penelope said as when everyone but you and Luke left the room. You glanced at Luke who just shrugged at you before Penelope pushed him out of the room, Luke letting her with a laugh.

“Penelope, are you alright?” You asked as she paced in front of you, her hands fidgeting with each other before she stopped in her tracks to look at you.

“I kissed him.” Penelope rushed out and you stared at her in confusion as you waited for her to continue only for her to stay silent as she looked back at you with wide eyes.

“You kissed who?” You prompted, eyebrows frowning as you glanced out of the window, your gaze falling on Luke but not sure why Penelope would seem so flustered over kissing her partner.

“I kissed Tyler.” She clarified and your head shot around to face her as your eyes widened in shock.

“You kissed Tyler Green?” You exclaimed and she shushed you even as she nodded, confused as she watched your frown deepen. “What the hell, Penelope?”

“I know, I know I said I couldn’t stand him and that he was a jerk but you know…and he ended up not being so bad and I kissed him.” Penelope rambled but when she saw you shake your head she paused. “Are you ok?”

“What about Luke?” You finally asked, keeping your tone even despite being furious with her. For years you’d pined after Luke but kept it to yourself so she could be happy with him and now she was here, quite casually telling you she had kissed another guy whilst her boyfriend was sat in the next room.

“Luke? What does Luke have to do with this?” She asked, seeming genuinely confused causing your eyebrows to knit together. Neither of you said anything for a long moment before Penelope broke the silence. “Oh my god, you think me and Luke are dating.”

“You’re not?” You asked in confusion, head spinning at the new information.

“We went on one date three years ago.” She told you with a slightly panicked laugh and you could only stand there and stare at her wide eyed. When you continued to stay silent Penelope’s eyes widened and she stared at you in shock. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!”

“Penelope!” You hissed stepping closer to her and risking a glance out of the corner of your eye to see the team had turned to look up to the window at her raised voice.

“You like Luke!” She exclaimed and you could do nothing but collapse into one of the seats, unable to deny the statement but still reeling from learning that the one date you knew about was all that had happened between them. “Oh my gosh, you like Luke and you didn’t tell me! I mean I know he’s y’know,” she said and pulled a face, “Luke, but you two would seriously be so cute together!”

“Wait, you’re not mad at me?” You asked, feeling like you were drowning with how confused you were. “I thought you liked Luke. I thought you were together this whole time.”

“Y/N, me and Luke had one date, it didn’t go anywhere. Did I like him? Sure but I wasn’t heartbroken that we were better off not dating. Wait, is that why you never said how you felt about him? How long have you been keeping this a secret?” Penelope asked and she seemed genuinely upset for you.

You felt way too overwhelmed right now and leaned your elbows on the table, resting your head in your hands as you took a shaky breath before looking back at her to see her sit in the seat next to you.

“You always had this love-hate thing from the beginning,” You stared, knowing you wouldn’t be able to leave without answering her questions. “You didn’t need to be a profiler to see the chemistry between the two of you, everyone knew something would happen between you and him. So I kept my mouth shut.”

“Wait, you’ve liked him since he joined?” Penelope asked sadly and you just shrugged.

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t say straight away. I mean we hung out together outside of work after he’d been here for a month or two, I spend as much time at his place as I do my own, you know? At some point I started, I don’t know, I wanted to be with him.” You told her, looking down at your hands as you messed with them to avoid her eyes. “But I, I saw the way you looked at him when he looked away, I saw the way he smiled at you when you called him names. I didn’t want to mess with anything between you two and then when I came back, I just assumed the two of you had finally gotten together.”

“There was never anything between us. I mean sure we flirted but it wasn’t serious. Maybe it could have been years ago but too much time passed and nothing happened.” Penelope sighed and you glanced up to see her frowning. “You should have told me.”

“Yeah, now I know that.” You murmured, your mind on all the time you could have potentially had with Luke. “You really don’t like him?”

“Y/N, if I wanted Luke Alvez I would have done something a long time ago to have him,” she told you, “plus I probably wouldn’t have kissed Tyler, who by the way is so hot.”

You let out a shaky laugh before nodding to yourself. Now things were looking up, the case seemed like it might actually be possible to solve and Luke words from before that you desperately wanted to believe were leading into a confession seemed like a more realistic outcome now.

“Sorry, I have to take this.” Penelope said apologetically but you just smiled at her as she answered it, standing up and gesturing for her to stay in the room as you left.

You kept your head down as you walked out of the room, thoughts racing a mile a minute as you made your way out of the bullpen area, missing movement from the corner of your eyes as Luke broke away from the rest of the group. You hadn’t realised he had followed you out until he jogged up beside you and caught your hand in his, stopping you in your tracks.

“Hey,” he said softly as he stood in front of you, his eyes filled with concern. “Is everything alright? Things looked pretty serious between you and Garcia.”

You hesitated a moment, it would be so easy to tell him now. There was nothing to stop you, no fear of losing two of your closest friendships lingering over you anymore.

“The thought in your head,” you said, causing him to frown slightly in confusion at the change in topic, “the thought in your head when the bomb went off, what was it?”

Luke’s face shifted to recognition as he looked back at you after glancing around at the people walking through the hallway. He shook his head before he gestured for you to follow him, not that he needed to as he kept his hand in yours as he pulled you into one of the empty meeting rooms.

“How much I regretted not telling you how I feel about you.” Luke said once the door was closed and he turned back to you. “How I’ve been in love with my best friend for years but I wasn’t brave enough to ever tell you.”

As he spoke he got closer to you, raising his hand to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone and you felt frozen to the spot, scared to breathe in case you shattered the moment and he pulled away.

But Luke wasn’t going anywhere, not now that he had finally managed to force the words past his lips. He leaned down and rested his forehead gently against yours as he waited for you to say something.

“I thought you died,” you finally choked out, watching as his face softened and his other hand came to rest on your waist. “I thought you died and I hated myself for not telling you that I’ve been in love with you for as long back as I can remember.”

Your words were quiet, barely more than a whisper but with how close you were pressed against each other Luke heard them clearly. A grin broke out on his face, he tried to reign it in but it was impossible when the person he’d fallen so hard for was telling him his feelings were returned.

His eyes glanced down from your eyes to your lips and he watched as you smiled back at him. It was all the permission he needed to lean down and press his lips to yours. The kiss was nothing more than a brushing of lips first before it turned into something more. Luke’s hand on your cheek made its way up to your hair, fingers tangling in the strands, as he pulled you impossibly closer with the hand around your waist before pressing you against the wall. Your hands found themselves pressed against his chest as you let yourself explore it and the kiss…

The kiss was filled with a mix of emotions, so much passion, so much longing, so much desperation. This was a kiss that was years in the making, a kiss both of you had only let yourselves dream about, neither of you thinking it would ever become a reality.

You were forced apart when both of your phones chimed at the same time, Luke pulling away first and the pair of you breathing heavily as you caught your breath, Luke’s forehead coming back down to rest against yours as he grinned at you and you mirrored the expression back.

“I promise you, cariño, the second this case is done I am taking you out.” Luke promised and you couldn’t stop the breathless laugh that escaped you as you nodded and put his shirt back into place.

“I’ll hold you to that, Alvez.” His smile seemed to get even wider as he ran his hands through your hair, smoothing the strands he had held.

Your phone’s pinged again and Luke sighed before dipping his head down one more to press a rushed kiss against your lips. When he pulled away for a second time he pulled his phone out and showed you that you were both needed back in the briefing room.

As the two of you entered Luke held your chair out for you and you felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at him before sitting down, glancing over at Luke as he rested his hand on your knee but he focused his attention on Emily though you could see the smile pulling at his lips.

When you finally looked away from him you caught Rossi and Penelope’s gaze. Rossi looked at you with a proud smile on his face, even if it was slightly smug and you couldn’t help but smile back at him as he winked at you. Penelope’s face had broken out into a full on grin that wasn’t entirely appropriate considering what Emily was saying but you let your smile widen as you looked at her, glad things had worked out and she wasn’t mad at you.

As Emily spoke you sat back in your seat. Luke liked you back, something you never thought would happen and wished like hell you had just spoken to Penelope about this years ago but it didn’t matter now. Now all you needed to do was solve the case, something that seemed possible now, especially with the motivation of a date with Luke at the end of it.

__________

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Angstember Prompt -  "You have to wake up. Please wake up, for me."

It wasn’t that your Master didn’t trust you to go out alone, you knew he didn’t doubt your abilities but he did prefer having you close by, preferred to have you within arms length so that if a situation happened to turn bad he could keep an eye on you. You didn’t hate his protectiveness but you did wish that during one of the few times he had let you go off without him after much arguing on your behalf, wanting to prove you could do something without his help, that it didn’t go terribly wrong.

Thankfully he hadn’t sent you in completely alone but still the one man he had sent with you was fairing just as well against the droid army, who were definitely not supposed to be there, as you were. Cody and you were back to back with one another, him blasting as many droids as he could whilst you used both your lightsaber and the Force to do the same.

The mission was supposed to be fairly easy, the Jedi Council had enough intel about this base to know that it had been abandoned fairly quickly and that there could be information that was useful to them left behind. You had it on good authority that there may be a few droids who were left but the army had been taken.

It should have been a straight forward mission, you and Cody walk into the base, search it for anything that could help the Jedi and leave. Maybe take down one or two droids whilst you were there but nothing overly taxing.

Instead you and Cody had landed and it had been quiet, no defences, no droids, nothing but the abandoned base you were promised. It wasn’t until you got to the door that the droid army flooded out, surrounding you on all sides before you could even register what had happened. From there it all seemed to be a blur until you saw Cody go flying to the floor and you were blocking hits from every direction.

It was useless to fight back, impossible to gain the upper hand against so many droids. You tried to use your comms link to alert your Master, to alert anyone who might be listening, but at some point during the fight the comms link that rested on your wrist had been hit and only silence came from it.

Sweat ran from your forehead and your breathing was coming out in pants as you continued swinging your lightsaber in one hand and the other was directing droids into each other, tossing them as far back into each other using the Force as possible in a desperate attempt to gain the upper hand.

You fought back as hard as you could, mind screaming in hope that Obi-Wan would sense your distress through the Force wherever he might be. Just like the comms link you only heard silence. 

One of the droids managed to catch you off guard, somehow landing a hit that had your lightsaber flying out of your hand and your hand itself was left in burning pain. Before you even had time to react, to use the Force to guide your lightsaber back to you, shocks ran throughout your entire body as you twitched and screamed before everything turned dark.

“And once Master Windu and his men have completed the ground assault we’ll come in from here and here,” Anakin instructed, his gaze on the holo map as he pointed to different points of entry. 

The words were lost to Obi-Wan, he had been listening to his former Padawan until he felt something that had him tensing, hand moving towards the lightsaber on his hip as he tried to figure out exactly what was wrong.

“Master?” Anakin asked, finally looking away from the map and over to Obi-Wan, taking in his far away look and tense form. “Master!”

“Something’s wrong.” Obi-Wan murmured, a frown on his face as he felt fear through the bond you shared and his heart almost stopped as he felt the bond go silent. “Have we had word from Y/N or Cody?”

“No Sir, they haven’t checked in yet.” Rex told him and Obi-Wan felt panic building inside him. 

“Anakin, you’ll have to lead this mission without me and send my apologies to Master Windu.” Obi-Wan told him, already ordering for a cruiser to be ready for him as he turned to leave.

“Wait, Master!” Anakin called, following Obi-Wan and stopping him with a hand to his arm, “What’s happening?”

“Something has happened to Y/N, maybe Cody too. I have to go.” Obi-Wan told him shortly, tugging his arm away from Anakin and making his way to the hangar bay, glancing towards Anakin as he continued to follow him.

“You’re sure they’re in danger? Maybe they’re just-” Anakin began, knowing full well how quickly missions could turn and make it impossible to check in.

“They’re in danger, she’s, Y/N’s in danger, Anakin, and I sent her there.” Obi-Wan told him, desperately trying to keep his emotions at bay, to stop the onslaught of images that invaded his mind of all the things that could be happening to you. “I sent her there.”

“Master,” Anakin said, struggling for words. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d saw Obi-Wan like this, “She’ll be fine-”

“You can’t guarantee that Anakin.” Obi-Wan protested, cutting Anakin off again.

“Yes I can because you trained her and even if something has happened she’ll still be fine because you’re going to make sure she is. She knows you’re coming, Obi-Wan.” Anakin told him, the two of them coming to a stop outside of the cruiser and Obi-Wan turned towards his old Padawan, worry clear in his eyes but his shoulders did drop a little as the tension left them at his words. “Bring them home safe, Master.”

As you came back to yourself you groaned as shocks pulsed throughout your entire body. You tried to open your eyes but found they were too heavy, your entire body felt heavy, your body being forced to stay upright making you feel every bit of pain from the shocks.

“Sir?” You heard somebody call and it took a few moments to register that the voice belonged to Cody.  You tried to answer him but all that left your lips was another pained groan as your body jolted weakly as it was shocked once more. “Can you hear me?”

It seemed like an eternity passed before you managed to pull your eyes open, blinking them shut harshly despite the fact the room wasn’t that well lit. After a few more seconds though you managed to open them properly and looked over to where Cody was being held next to you, his own body pulsing with the shocks.

“Where are we?” You managed to ask weakly, crying out softly as more shocks hit you.

“I’m not sure,” Cody told you, pausing to let out a pained grunt before continuing, “nobody has been in since I woke up. I can’t send word to the General either.” He told you, nodding down to the broken comms unit on his wrist.

“Obi-Wan,” You began but cut yourself off as the shocks seemed to get worse all of a sudden, one after the other in rapid motion, the intensity of them increasing with each one and you couldn’t stop the tears that poured down your face. “Obi-Wan please,” You started to say but the pain became too much and you slipped off again.

Obi-Wan could hardly remember the trip to the planet you were on, what he did know is that it was much too far away. It was just over two days after he had set off that he was landing on the planet's sandy ground, cursing himself for sending you so far away, anything could have happened to you in the two days' travel.

Since he couldn’t land outside the base he had landed a few klicks away, thankfully it wasn’t too far a distance and before long he could see the base as well as the damage you and Cody must have caused before something happened to you.

The number of droids was alarming to say the least, dozens of them lay defeated at his feet and these were just the ones two people were able to take down, Obi-Wan shuddered to think just how many there had been. Clearly their intel had been very wrong, to go from an abandoned base to one protected by a droid army.

As he walked further down towards the entrance he paused as something glistened under the suns and felt his heart sink as he saw your lightsaber laying there, knowing you wouldn’t lose it unless something had happened to you.

Obi-Wan shook his head as he picked it up before he forced himself to move, no time to think about what it meant now, the only important thing was getting you out alive.

“You have to stay awake, Y/N.” Cody said from somewhere at your side but your eyes remained shut.

You had no idea how long you’d been here, in the time you had been there though multiple creatures had entered the room, all of them demanding information about things you didn’t even know about. You were only a Padawan and told them as much, it wasn’t like you were a member of the Council, you had no idea of the information they knew.

Still the creatures refused to believe you and each of them had different tactics to make you talk, all of them ending with you sobbing, bleeding, screaming and pleading for Obi-Wan. Your body was exhausted and battered, your throat was painfully sore from the screaming and you struggled to stay awake. When they weren’t torturing you they had you held up in a containment field and continued to shock you every few seconds, your body never getting a single moment of relief.

“Open your eyes, Sir.” Cody demanded hoarsely, he wasn’t in as bad a state as you were, having only been bound and shocked repeatedly. You knew he would have traded places with you in a heartbeat but the creatures only wanted you, they figured a Padawan of a Jedi Council member must hold all the knowledge Obi-Wan had.

“Obi-Wan,” You managed to choke out, tears silently running down your face as each breath pained you. “Obi-”

“He’s coming for you,” Cody promised and you tried to open your eyes, tried to look over at him but it was so hard to move your body. “He’s coming for you, Y/N, I promise but you have to stay awake, you hear me?”

You wanted to tell him that yes, you heard him but your body refused to cooperate, refused to do as you wanted it to. Instead you felt yourself drifting off again, Cody’s voice eventually fading into nothing as you lost consciousness. 

The base was a large, almost factory-like building with many doors and although Obi-Wan managed to enter the base without much difficulty, taking out a droid or two, he was having a much more difficult time locating you now that he couldn’t feel you through the Force though he refused to think about that too much, refused to let himself think about what it could mean.

“Oh no, a Jedi.” One of the droids said once Obi-Wan had made his way deep enough into the building to find a section that had much more activity.

“Where is the girl?” He asked, lightsaber raised at the ready.

When he received nothing but threats he was quick to take down the droids until one remained and he watched as it dropped its gun to point down a long corridor. With a nod he made quick work of that droid too so it didn’t alert whoever was holding you of his presence. 

He made his way down the corridor, lightsaber in front of him lighting his path down. He listened as he passed each door and began to lose hope in this direction, figuring the droid had been lying when he saw two more stood in front of a door a few more steps away from him.

Obi-Wan didn’t hesitate to move forward, quickly dismantling the two droids before letting out an annoyed huff when he tried the door only to realise it could only be accessed with a facial scan. It didn’t take him more than a second to jam the lightsaber through the door, cutting a circle big enough for him to get through and using the Force to quickly move the piece.

“General?” He heard a hoarse voice from inside as he climbed through to see Cody. “General, she needs you.”

At those words his attention turned to where Cody nodded, his heart stopping as he saw you being held up, your body was slumped in on itself. From where he stood at the door he could see bruises and blood and he could only watch in horror as your body weakly jolted as shocks assaulted you.

Quickly he snapped himself out of his frozen state and ran over to you, easily freeing you from the binds holding you in place and catching you as you fell. It didn’t take him much effort to pick you up, carrying you in his arms as he made his way to Cody, freeing him from his binds too and handing him a blaster.

“It’s good to see you, Sir.” Cody said, relief clear in his voice and Obi-Wan nodded as he tightened his grip on you though still being careful of the many wounds. “She knew you’d come.” 

Those words sent a warm feeling through him and he had to force it down until he knew you were going to be ok. 

“It’s good to see you too, now let’s get out of here.” Obi-Wan said and thankfully whoever was holding you still didn’t seem to know Obi-Wan had broken in and rescued the two of you. There was no struggle getting out of the building, Cody dealing with a few droids here and there but nothing like when you had first arrived.

It was as you all boarded the ship the droid army flooded out of the building and Obi-Wan was quick to start the engine and put some much needed distance between you and them, narrowly avoiding the shots being fired at them.

“What in the stars happened out here?” Obi-Wan asked Cody, glancing back to where he had placed you in one of the seats, his robe wrapped around you as you remained unconscious. 

“There were so many of them, Sir, no matter how hard we fought back, more of them kept coming. They got me first, I-I should have protected her but-”

“Cody, this isn’t your fault.” Obi-Wan assured but the trooper just sighed before continuing.

“I woke first and we were being held in that room. Nobody came in whilst I was awake but once Y/N woke these creatures came and started,” Cody cut himself off as fury ran through his veins, hating how useless he had been, not able to free himself to help you, “Sir, they tortured her, they wanted information about a holocron? Something about all future Jedi? I don’t know, Sir, but they seemed to think Y/N had the information they wanted. She’s been in and out of consciousness for a while but passed out not long before you got there.” 

The rest of the trip was fairly silent. It was a two day journey back and in that time you hadn’t woken up once. Obi-Wan had to force himself not to panic, to focus on getting you back home and straight to the medical facility. 

Cody had taken over flying the ship after a day's rest with the instruction that Obi-Wan should be with you and Obi-Wan was hardly going to protest to that. As he sat beside you, holding your hand gently in his as his thumb brushed the bruised skin he couldn’t stop the tears that came to his eyes. 

“You have to wake up.” He whispered to you as he lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a soft gentle kiss to the back of it as he let the tears fall down his cheeks. “Please wake up, for me.”

His desperate plea received no response and he could do little more than sit by your side and cry until he was forced to collect himself as Cody landed the ship and he lifted you into his arms again. 

Anakin was already waiting in the hangar bay along with Rex, a medical droid beside them and transport waiting to take you to the medical facility. He shot Anakin a thankful look, his former Padawan nodding back with a sympathetic smile before his gaze strayed down to you in Obi-Wan’s arms. 

Obi-Wan lay you down as gently as possible, his robes still covering your body and most of the visible bruises, though the two who had gathered to greet you winced at the cuts and bruises on your face, Obi-Wan having cleaned the blood as best he could on the journey back.

“I have to check in with the Council,” Obi-Wan announced after the medical droid promised to take you over to the medical facility, “Cody make sure you’re treated too.”

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin protested as the medical droid and Cody left with you, “the Council can wait, she needs you now.”

“I’m not sure what help I can be to her now, Anakin. At least by speaking to the Council we can arrange further investigation into exactly what happened out there.” Obi-Wan told him but truthfully all he wanted to do was follow you, hating to be separated from you when he’d only just gotten you back.

“Well fill me in and I’ll inform the council of what happened out there.” And in that moment Obi-Wan had never been more thankful for the man in front of him, a grateful smile spreading across his face as he reached up to squeeze Anakin’s shoulder.

“Thank you Anakin.” He said, trying to get across just how much he meant those words and the smile Anakin gave him in return showed his meaning was clear and so with that he told Anakin what Cody had told him before parting ways and making his way over to you.

By the time he arrived at the medical facility you were still being patched up by the medical droids, bacta salve covering most of your body as they worked on stitching cuts Obi-Wan hadn’t even seen. He stood back and let them work though he desperately wanted to be next to you. He noticed Cody in the bed next to yours, armour completely removed as he rested, the exhaustion finally taking over knowing that the two of you were home and safe. 

The medical droids seemed to work on you for hours but eventually they pulled away from you, running one last check to make sure you were ok before they left, one of them making their way over to Obi-Wan.

“Is she going to be ok?” He asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“She has suffered severe electro shocks, we cannot confirm how much harm this has done until she is awake. She may be fine, sore but fine, or she may lose feeling in certain areas. The burns will heal with repeated treatments. Her breathing is stable after the shocks caused some difficulty. Her wounds are treatable, repeated treatments will see them clearing up though some may scar. She will be fine.” The medical droid told him and Obi-Wan almost sobbed in relief at hearing last those four words.

“Thank you,” He said tearfully, “When will she wake?”

“I cannot say. After the abuse her body has withstood it has forced itself to shut off, both to stop feeling the pain and because of the exhaustion she felt. It could be a matter of hours or days but she will wake.” The droid said and Obi-Wan drew a shaky breath, nodding his thanks before making his way over to the chair that had been left at the side of your bed.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Obi-Wan whispered, the words mumbled against the back of your hand that he had taken in his and brought up to his lips to press a gentle kiss to, “I should never have sent you out there, I should have been with you.”

Eventually Obi-Wan’s tears stopped falling and it wasn’t long until he fell asleep with his head resting on the bed, hand still entwined with yours.

Days passed with no movement from you, Obi-Wan only had the constant beep of the heart monitor telling him you were ok as he sat by your side day in and day out. There was a war going on outside the room, one that he should be involved in, giving orders to men who counted on him and yet he found that he didn’t care. Anything that took him away from your side wasn’t worth it.

Thankfully Anakin hadn’t hesitated to fill Obi-Wan’s space, telling his Master that he would make sure everything was going to plan and his only job was making sure you made a full recovery. Obi-Wan hadn’t thought he could feel more grateful towards Anakin than he had the day he’d arrived back at base with you but his former Padawan continued to prove him wrong.

Even though you had yet to wake your injuries were healing themselves, the burns had eased, the bruises had faded and most of your stitches had been removed. The only thing left was for your body to overcome the exhaustion so that you could wake up. 

“How is she doing?” Anakin asked as he entered the medical facility, Rex, Ashoka and Cody, who had been released some days ago after receiving the all clear, all in tow.

“Still sleeping.” Obi-Wan sighed, his thumb brushing against the back of your hand. 

“She’ll wake soon, Master.” Anakin assured as he sat on your other side, reaching up to brush a piece of hair back from your face. 

Obi-Wan didn’t doubt Anakin’s words, he knew you were strong, knew that you’d push through but the waiting was agonising, all he wanted was for you to open your eyes, to see that you were ok.

You come back to wakefulness and the first thing you noticed was that you couldn’t feel any pain, a few aches here and there but nothing compared to the pain you had felt the last time you were awake and blessedly you couldn’t feel any more shocks. 

You tried to pry your eyes open but found they wouldn’t cooperate which sent a spike of anxiety through you, you wanted to open them, wanted to see where you were and if you were safe, you wanted to know that Cody was ok.

A soft, quiet voice stopped you from attempting to open your eyes and you felt an overpowering sense of relief and happiness once you were able to identify just who the voice belonged to. 

“I really do wish you’d wake up, Y/N.” He whispered, he wasn’t alone in his worry for you anymore. Your friends' worry grew with each passing day and the medical droids had been stumped after two weeks passed with no movement from you. “We all miss you. I miss you, Y/N, I miss you terribly despite being by your side everyday. I miss your laugh, I miss seeing your eyes, miss seeing them light up. I shouldn’t care so much for you, I know the Jedi would condemn me for having such an attachment to you but I find it impossible to stop myself when it comes to you. I wish I were brave enough to tell you but- that doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you get better. I should never have sent you to that base, I should have been by your side the way it has been since our first day together. I just- I really wish you’d wake up.”

You couldn’t move if you wanted to but in that moment you were glad you were frozen, not wanting a single twitch of your finger to cut Obi-Wan’s words off, not when they were the very ones you’d longed to hear. 

You felt the gentle kiss pressed to the back of your hand, felt his thumb brushing against the same place but no more words left his lips. You didn’t mind, more content to feel his touch as it soothed your panic away over your frozen state. 

Even if you couldn’t move yet, even if you couldn’t force your eyes to open, it didn’t matter. You knew you were safe, Obi-Wan had saved you and he was sitting by your side. Whenever Obi-Wan was around you knew you were safe, knew that no harm would come to you and that helped you drift off into an actual sleep for the first time in weeks. 

The second time you woke you were worried you were still in that base, bound and waiting for any chance of rescue but then you felt the hand in yours and knew you were safe, knew Obi-Wan’s words and soft touches hadn’t been a dream but instead it was reality and you found this time around you could blink awake. 

Your eyes were heavy and it took a few attempts to pry them open but eventually you managed, scrunching them shut against the bright lights in whatever room you were in, probably the medical facility if Obi-Wan had his way and you weren’t conscious to fight him over it. 

You couldn’t stop the soft smile that spread across your face as you saw Obi-Wan, his hand was still holding yours but he was slumped over in the uncomfortable chairs the medical facility had, his head resting on the mattress next to your hip. You could see his face clearly and the dark circles under his eyes, had he stayed with you this whole time? That’s what he had said, right, ‘I miss you terribly despite being by your side everyday’.

Your smile grew wider until it was taken away as pain spread through your body as you tried to shift, Obi-Wan immediately sitting up, worry clear in his bleary eyes. 

You saw the exact moment his sleep-addled mind recognised you were awake, watching as his eyes widened and he seemed to freeze, only able to stare at you in shock. The shock quickly faded into relief, his shoulders relaxing at seeing your eyes open for the first time in however long it had been. 

“Y/N,” he said, the word so soft, barely a whisper like he was afraid he was dreaming this moment, like the second he spoke the scene would shift back to your unconscious body. 

You couldn’t stop the tears that filled your eyes at hearing his voice. Even though you had seen him, seen the medical facility and knew Obi-Wan had saved you there was still some part of you that needed something more, needed to hear Obi-Wan again to know you were truly ok. 

“It’s alright, Y/N,” Obi-Wan told you, keeping his voice soft as he watched tears flow uncontrollably down your cheeks. Sobs of relief, of fear, of overwhelment leaving you and he was quick to move from the chair to join you on the bed, enough room on it for him to lay down next to you and pull you into his chest. “You’re ok, I have you now.”

You clung to Obi-Wan’s robe, letting him surround you completely both in the Force and in person, his comforting, soothing presence letting you know just how safe you were. Obi-Wan’s whispered words of comfort, of praise, washed over you and you could do little else but lean into the man, letting him hold you, fingers running up and down your arm as he somehow pulled you even closer.

You couldn’t say just how long you lay there for just letting Obi-Wan hold you but eventually your tears turned into little sniffs. You made no move to pull away from him, attempting to burrow yourself deeper into his chest and smiling when you felt the man chuckle.  

“You’re safe.” Obi-Wan promised you, mumbling the words into your hair before placing a soft kiss there. “I have you, you’re alright.”

“Obi-Wan,” you whispered into his chest, gripping the fabric of his robe even tighter in your fist, “Obi-Wan.”

“I’m here, dear one, I have you now.” Obi-Wan assured you.

“Thank you,” you said, repeated the words a few times before Obi-Wan shushed you, silencing you gently and bringing one hand up to cup the back of your head, playing with your hair causing you to relax further into him, eyes falling closed knowing you could drift off again safe in the man’s arms, knowing no harm could come to you so long as were here.

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