My Very Bad Takes On Rwby Ships (the Well Known Ones Atleast. And Yes Most Are Jaune)

My very bad takes on rwby ships (the well known ones atleast. And yes most are jaune)

(i do not represent anyone except myself so do not judge others based on me because if you do. That's YOUR problem. Not the peoples you think I represent)

Hoi! I think its time I get crucified. Kidding obviously. This community isn't completely toxic, that much is obvious. Now let's get the obvious ones out the way

Bmblb.

Ok... time for the one I don't wanna touch because I don't have nice things to say.

Ok first. I don't mind this ship. Wanna get that out of the way because unlike most would assume. I don't hate or love this ship.

BUT. I got problems with how it was made fucking cannon. First off, fuck you rt and your "from the beeginning". I don't fuckin care how much you try to cover your incompetent asses. If the pants don't fuckin fit. Don't fuckin wear them!

Second. There was no real build up (you can argue there was. But it wasn't good. Anyone could have done a better job than rt). The only real thing that could "prove" this was planned was that yang "flirted" with Blake. Now you might be saying-

"oh but she explained her trauma to Blake that clearly means shes interested in her" in which. NO. Yes this moment is VERY good basis to build off these twos dynamic. And if rt kept building onto this by having yang slowly break down Blake's wall before eventually getting her to open up, I would be applauding rt for it, hell I would be a fan of it probably because for these two, it fuckin works! Blake clearly is alot more reserved and is rather prickly meanwhile yang is the rambunctious, ass-whooping, badass, and overall awesome ball of joy (sounds weird saying especially since yang is my favorite character). yet rt dropped the fuckin ball the moment sun showed up. Now I love sun and i enjoy black sun. But for the love of GOD if this shit is from the beginning than this clearly proves it was fucking not!

After volume three who did blake spend most of the time with in menagerie and rt was clearly trying to push? Not bmblb! BLACK-FUCKING-SUN. Let's give a round of applause to RT for making the dumbest decision of saying bmblb was planned from the start because bitch it was not.

And what did we get for yang. Oh only her trauma from one losing an arm and the fact she has PTSD from it. Oh yeah let's not forget the fact yang had ABANDONMENT ISSUES. Yet the moment her and Blake meet back up suddenly it doesn't fuckin matter because Weiss managed to somehow fix it by telling yang that Blake had suffered as well (i know that's not exactly what happened but point is I fuckin HATE the scene where Blake rejoins the team and yang is just "OK! I totally still don't have problems with the fact you left me and the team at both my and our teams lowest moment." Personally fuck you rt)

.....where was I again? Oh yeah rwby ships. So before I fuckin lose it at rt's incompetence at story telling, developing a romance and character building- let's move on to..... whiterose.... SON OF A BIT-

Whiterose

Look does the fact I don't care for BB and the fact I hate white rose with such a burning passion make me look like a misogynistic homophobic asshole a bad thing? Yes. But I just can't enjoy this damn ship because I just find it so FUCKING BORING!

I get it, it's "opposites attract". But I just don't care because this is so boring and basic that I can't even be glad a gay ship is actually popular instead of the same boring straight pairings.

I don't care if ruby could help Weiss be less of a bitch. Because that troop has been done to fucking DEATH.

There's not even the fact that it be a middle finger to Weisses dad because guess what he's already got his comupance and is also you know, FUCKIN DEAD. There's no satisfaction from any of this ship for me. Is it a bad ship? Fuck no we aren't even going to cover THAT!

But do I like this ship and hope it'll be cannon? No. And if it is? I won't care and I'm not even gonna celebrate it. You can take a fat piss on my grave before I say whiterose becoming cannon is the only option.

Now what ship is next- oh. Oh no. It's the ship everyone enjoys.

Arkos

Look I'm already gonna get fuckin crucified for my opinion of WR and BB. I don't feel like pissing off even MORE people!

... ok fine I'm saying my opinion.

I don't care for this ship. I don't care for pyrrha and I'm actively glad she is dead.

I won't even elaborate because this ship is dead and will gladly piss on its grave.

Rest in piss arkos. Overrated as fuck!

Next up is... rose garden. Finally a ship I dont mind supporting... but also... one thats gonna be hard to say

Rose garden

Look... their just fuckin cinnamon rolls and I love it!

"but you hated arkos yet both jaune and pyrrha were cinna-"

Uhp! No! None of your bullshit. But I will explain.

I don't care for arkos because I don't care for the fact pyrrha has no development. Not even a personality. She was always "the one girl that has feelings for jaune" which don't get me wrong, jaunes one of my favorite characters but I prefer the character he would be shipped with are actually characters and not... cardboard.

Now thankfully Oscar does not suffer the same fate. He's not infatuated with ruby, he is just a "kid" who just found a wizard stuck in his head and now he's off into a war he never knew about. He was timid (batshit terrified even) and yet when he sees the courage shown by the cast he slowly tries to be like them. with the moment between ruby and Oscar being a moment I fuckin love. Oscar is being honest and asking ruby why, why does she keep fighting? Keep marching into a unknown war that could very well kill her. And ruby simply answers by admitting she Is aware she might die, she even lost good people during the fall of beacon but she kept going because she wanted to be a huntress, she wanted to HELP people.

One of the many reasons I love rose garden is because these two fuckin dorks grow WITH each other instead of the simple "oh I'm the love interest of the main character I'm gonna be a cardboard cutout of the character I should be!".

I can't put it into proper words but I just love rose garden.

Whiteknight

Wait... are we actually talking about white knight and not another ship that I probably don't care about and get crucified because of them?

FUCK YEAH!

Gentlemen and ladies. I am proud to say I am whiteknight trash because damnit I love this ship.

I will say it now this ship is the shit that gives my Tumblr account LIFE. And like rose garden I can't even find words to describe how this ship makes me my brain go up with dopamine. This ship is just my favorite ship. Weiss and jaune have had so much buildup. Starting with jaune being a idiot and trying to flirt with a very much more cold Weiss (HA) To Weiss laughing at jaunes reaction to his voice after the high of depression that was V9! The little smile jaune had as he heard Weiss giggle. To the mother fuckin mature scene that has skyrocketed to memehood! I just love this ship because it is just everything I want out of a romance subplot!

Knightshade

Oh... oh we already at some.... unpopular ships.

Now this isn't exactly ship related as pyrrha was to arkos but I just don't like Blake, so you might be thinking "oh then you must hate knightshade". Well..

You.

Are.

WRONG!

I don't know why I like it I just like knightshade. It's cute, it's got enough crack to make it a crack ship, and the memes! The. Fuckin. MEMES.

God I love knightshade.

Knightfall

So... how do I say this?

I love this ship. Not joking I love this. I'd be peeved if this became cannon but as syndrome once said

"OH COME ON! YOU GOTTA ADMIT THIS IS COOL!" (Man was a salty man and died like a BITCH)

As to why?

The

Fuckin

ANGST!

I could write an entire fanfic of jaune and cinder fighting each other for days on end until jaune fucking loses but instead of killing him cinder just lets him live. To continue to fight as she gets some sick enjoyment from the attention.

That's all. (Also cinder please choke me with your thighs-)

[GLITCH HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED.]

Alright I'll behave. No thirsting, now onto.... Lancaster.... you know I can't tell if I want to be killed or be celebrated as a fuckin gift because this list is bizarre as fu-

Lancaster

.... where do I begin?

Ok I should probably state this now. I love this fuckin ship despite how... cliche it really is. I want these two dorks to be fuckin happy but I just can't say whole hearted this is my otp. It's just not for me, I'm sorry. But as you all know I have written.. some.. Lancaster fanfics (I am absolute jaune shipper trash, you can Bury me before I say any jaune ship is terrible except THAT! Even arkos ain't bad just overrated!)

But... yes I like this ship that why I'm writing fanfics in the first place I like alot of jaune ships (despite how much I hate THAT!) Because we'll most female characters that I pair with jaune have atleast some form of interaction. (Except silent knight. I just like that one because I like the "small murderous and tall gentle" dynamic. But we aren't covering silent knight.)

Now thats all I could say for Lancaster but there's one more sister that I wanna talk about but first.

For runner up on this list. Drum roll please.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Thank you-

.....

Huh I guess that drummer wasn't as dumb-

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Ok fuck you, your fired!

Now for runner up on this list (mainly because I like it but I don't have much to say-)

Martial arcs

(ha bet y'all rat bastards weren't expecting me to list a gay ship that I liked.)

Now all I have to say is.

🎶let them be fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!~

OH YEAH!🎶

Now onto... my favorite one thats not white knight. The one, the only, the truest form of "what the fuck is glitch snorting"-

Dragon slayer

This is the one ship that has continued to be a ship I love dearly.

To me yang and jaune feel like they would be each other's wing(wo)man and would just be an ride to watch.

There wasn't even any evidence in why this ship could happen. But I still love it. Y'all can call it "just a write inserting themselves as jaune" but let me say this.

Dragon slayer is the Pinnacle of the most wholesome moments! Not even Lancaster can compare to the intimacy of this ship and yes! I AM TALKING OUT OF MY ASS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS STUPID SHIP AND AINT NO ONE TELLING ME I SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

....

Ok I think that's enough talking about Rwby ships for one Day because I've caused three things.

1) probably pissed off arkos, BB, and WR shipers.

2) weirded out quite literally everyone with my batshit insanity.

3) probably started a debate on what I mean when I say "THAT!"

Anyway have a great day/night/or what other time it is bitches, bros, and non-binary rat bastards

I'm off to get crucified because OH BOY did I probably poke the bear.

OH BOY GLITCH GETS TALK ABOUT WR AGAIN FOR THE SECOND TIME?!

Yeah I'm back and I'm basically using this as an excuse to explain why i dont understand the appeal to WR (and yeah I'm digging myself a grave, I don't care because by the end of this I will be this fandom public enemy #1) so y'all can dismantle my half baked arguments just as a fyi.

This is not meant to attack WR shippers but I need to say this now as someone who firmly believes WR is ABSOLUTE ass.

First of all,

It's, fucking boring

"Oh but it adds more diversity and-" UHP! NO! Not hearing it.

Ok yes i know having more diversity in a series is always nice to have but there is no way in hell having a ship result in either one of both characters becoming cardboard cutouts of themselves os a good thing.

"oh your just a bigot who believes all ships should have men-" UHP! Once again! NONE of your bullshit. First of all fuck you if you actually thought that.

Second, no, if I was id still be celebrating the arkos kiss or just arkos in general, or I'd be writing fanfiction about how jaune and Ren are such "gigachads who get ALL the pussy because men are better and I am CLEARLY overcompensating for the fact I have a microdick". Which, if you looked on my garbage blog, has nothing of the sorts.

Now to the actual point, this is due to the fact there has been no hinting towards whiterose, no building towards, not even passing remarks about how close Weiss and ruby are getting. There has been nothing done for it so unless v10 is greenlit and rt decided to say "y'know what? For today let's make glitchs day shit" before making whiterose happen by pulling a bumblebee and backpedaling away from any ship they were pushing towards and instead constructing a half-assed, terribly written, and overall cluster fuck of a WR romance subplot before rt talks out of their ass and says it was planned when in truth it wasn't.

Next is.

Opposites attract sucks (when used generally)

Now look, lots of people LOVE this trope, it's campy, it's feel good, it's ushy-gushy and it's just disgustingly sweet.

I hate it.

It's overdone.

It's contrived.

And overall its the same bullshit.

Over and over and over again it's the same bullshit with no innovation and it gets boring real fast. By the end result I'm less glad their together and more glad this boring shit is done and not repeating itself.

The structure is clunky and overall is in hindsight, REALLY terrible at telling love stories, yeah it's "tried and true" but that doesn't mean it's good.

Finally for the last reason why I find it baffling why this ship has not been discarded and pissed is the same reason why I don't care for arkos aside from the fact it's boring.

There's no payoff, thus there's nothing worth investing in.

Every major point you could have happen is already done.

Weiss becoming personable?

Done.

Weiss realizing that she can depend on her team and not be a bitch to others because not everyone cares about her status or her name.

Done.

A metaphorically middle finger to weiss' father showing that he's just a push over and has no control over his family that he can use to harm them.

Already done oh yeah and if I am correct, he's dead. (I haven't kept up with the series, I stopped at V5 but I plan on watching the entire series)

Everything that could be done for the ship has already been done in the series and the only real appeal to it is the wholesomeness. And while yes it is probably adorable there's no real point in it anymore.

I'm not trying to be a smart ass or an asshole but this ship has no merit anymore and if it some how becomes cannon it's gonna be half-assed, poorly written and just awful to watch, do I need to remind you all of how bumblebee was handled?

Overall this ship has no merit to become cannon and overall there's no real substance in general for it. Atleast for me there isn't.

If you like it for the fluff, enjoy it for the fluff but there's no point in this becoming cannon. Unless-

Rt decides to once more, play this fandom like a kazoo and make wr cannon, to also make themselves look better, and to get people to ignore the horrible, homophobic, transphobic, ableist and out right "wtf" practices done in the company, oh yeah and to also please the people who fetishize lesbians because "haha, ladies kissing are hot".

Ok I think I've pissed off enough people for today so I'm just gonna go.

And once again, you allowed to like whiterose, don't let my opinion change it, and don't attack anyone because of their differing opinions, if you do that, YOU are contributing to the growing problem that lives in this fandom, which is "no one can take a fuckin opinion without getting crucifying that person".

Now rock on till ya drop tata mothafuckers 🤘

Once again. Motor cycles are badass.

Just Johnson and his motorcycle.

I think this is gonna be the final image I post on Tumblr. Related to legacy reaper atleast.

I don't feel like getting into spoilers for my own works so yeah.

"You must fight"