Janspans - Tumblr Blog

MOOD

loving and being loved is feeling the sun from both sides

Where my introverts at?

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed

💘

A post about romantic relationships

so I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years now. And I see a lot of posts about how people think relationships mean having butterflies forever, your heart beating faster when they walk into a room, about cuddling together every night, legs intertwined, that you’d be so happy to live together you’d sleep on a double bed with each other every night.

And its not really like that, at least not to me.

You stop getting the butterflies when you live together. Your heart no longer speeds up when you see them, but instead, everything calms down. When youre in the room with them, you feel calm, and secure. When you cuddle them you feel your heart beat slow, and the sound of their breathing carry you towards comfort. It doesnt feel like a roller coaster anymore, it feels like home.

You don’t sleep curled up with each other every night, legs twisted between theirs so tight its hard to tell where yours begin and theirs end.

Instead, you sleep comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing different directions. But every night, you find yourself scooting backwards on the bed so you bump into them. You snuggle against their arm, or stroke their hair as they fall asleep. There are nights when my boyfriend, in his sleep, reaches around me and pulls me to him, like a child with his teddybear, like I am his comfort.

 In the wee hours of the morning before the dawn breaks, when the world is blue and you see through cracked eyes, you curl into their chest and inhale their scent before drifting back to sleep. 

Kisses aren’t always romantic and firey anymore. But there are so much more of them now. There are cold kisses when you’re eating ice cream in the summer, and sticky kisses over breakfast pancakes. There’s “im leaving now” kisses, and “one more kiss before you go” kisses. There’s sleepy morning kisses before work, when you don’t remember the alarm going off but instead the press of their lips against yours is what brings you into the day.

There’s kisses before sleep, and, you are so sweet with the things you do kisses. There’s kisses because you treat animals so tenderly, and I’m so glad i’m with you and not someone else kisses. There’s quick kisses in the aisles of the grocery store, when its loud and you gravitate together, when instead of having your own personal space and their own personal space, its both of yours together, and you step into their chest to take up less area together. 

You don’t always text each other with confessions of love and care like you used to, because that’s a given now, and you’ve moved on to quirky inside jokes about the life youve built together. You share looks of exasperation and amusement in public, your own little world against the outside one. 

Relationships aren’t always a fairy tale. They’re not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start.

But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It’s not a fire in your soul, but one in your hearth, keeping you warm and comfortable, comforting you as you drowsily drift into sleep.

And I love that.

I love planners, highlighters, giant calendars, nice ball point pens, to do lists, & anything else that gives me the illusion that I’m getting my life together

💘

when u call for ur dog n u hear the lil pap pap pap of their feet as they come to u

reblog if u agree

I will not beg you for your time or try to convince you to choose me, the world is too big and I have too much to offer.

For every time I gave a fuck, that fuck, fucked me over.

Using fuck so many times in one sentence - 0pt1c (via perfect)

I can’t be shaken anymore, by anyone. I’ve got to that point in my life that if you’re not a good person, and you can’t make me feel good with love and life, then fuck off basically.

FKA twigs  (via 1112pm)

I used to think I was tough, but then I realized I wasn’t. I was fragile and I wore thick fucking armor. And I hurt people so they couldn’t hurt me. And I thought that was what being tough was, but it isn’t.

James Frey

Now, I just do exactly what I want, whenever I want, how the fuck I want. ‘Fuck you’ is my message.”

Kanye West

people underestimate my ability to cut them out of my life when they fuck me over

pretty much

And then she told herself, “Stop being so weak. Grow up and get over it.” and then she never felt anything again.

(via dostoyevska)

Wake up every morning and tell yourself that you’re a badass bitch from hell and that no one can fuck with you and then don’t let anybody fuck with you.

Kate Nash’s advice to college students (via ohheygrace)

Please tell me I’m not as forgettable as your silence is making me feel.

M.S.  (via forever-and-alwayss)

Eventually if it was meant to be, then it would be / because we related, physically and mentally / And she was fun then, I’d be geeked when she’d come around / Slim was fresh yo, when she was underground / Original, pure untampered and down sister / Boy I tell ya, I miss her…

Common - I Used To Love H.E.R. (Resurrection, 1994)

I’m not mad at you for not giving a shit. I’m disgusted with myself for thinking you did.

(1/365) by (KJ)

Me on a daily basis.

I’m done existing at your convenience.

Connotativewords | jl | 6 word story (via connotativewords)