An Unforgettable Date

An unforgettable date ✨

In this little scene in the AOTC novel, I just love how it tells us how much Anakin knows Padmé so well and truly cares for her, when he’s ordered by the Council to escort Padmé to Naboo. We see that his immediate reaction is to defend Padmé’ desires, that she’d want to stay back for the vote, but of course the Council acts on its own accord. Even still, to see that Anakin was trying to argue a case for Padmé against his higher ups because he knows how much this vote meant to her is endearing.

He even told Obi Wan that he only wanted to explain her passion for it. Anakin truly was the very few people in Padmé’ life that really saw her and cared about her opinions, desires, and took them seriously. He put her above all else and not in the way where her trusted teammates or subjects relied on her to behave as a leader, but he prioritized her for just being “Padmé”, and that’s why I think he was the only one for her.

I am…unwell over Kenobi ep 5.

Anakin Skywalker / Revenge of the Sith

Hayden Christensen / Procreate App

Thinking a lot about how by the time TCW comes about Anakin has already committed a grievous sin, already committed a massacre, already chosen his side in some ways. The man Ahsoka knows, the only version of him she ever gets to know, is built on an assumption of purity he has already lost.

He has already begun to fall, and this slip contributes in so many ways to his inability to pull himself back. Because the only person other than Padmé he tells his crime to is Palpatine, because he's the only person who won't judge him (and that in and of itself is a measure of his immaturity–– because he deserved to be judged).

And this contributes so much to Palpatine's control because he has this piece of the puzzle, this ability to go "Oh, but what about this?" any time Anakin tries to pull back from Palpatine's confidence. Because they both know if he ever admitted it to the Order he'd forever lose their approval, and that's what matters most. So Palpatine has this advantage, because he knows more about Anakin than anyone else and Anakin doesn't feel he can confide in anyone else.

But the thing is: for so long, Anakin wants to be better, wants to amend himself for this sin and more than once wants to confess to Obi-Wan, but every single time Palpatine is able to go "Oh but he thinks he's so much better than you, he would never understand you, he would judge you and tell the Order and they'd cast you out" but... Obi-Wan would have forgiven him anything.

I think a lot about Obi-Wan being such a Perfect Jedi (in the eyes of everyone else if nothing else) and how much that hurts Anakin. Because every time he tries to pull himself back from the ledge this epitome of what it means to be a Jedi is just there in his face reminding him of his own failure

this is what its like being autistic on tumblr