Crown Prince, Callisto Regulus

Crown Prince, Callisto Regulus

Penelope: Are you a cuddler?

Callisto: I am a machine of death and destruction—

Penelope:

Callisto: …Yeah, I’m a cuddler.

Soon as she unblocks me the wedding is back on.

Callisto Regulus, every time Penelope ignores his letters

Levels of headcanons

Tier I: The Analytical

1. States an obvious conclusion or implication that the text unaccountably fails to follow up on

2. Explores events concurrent with but not present in the textual narrative

3. Renders the story more coherent or structurally sound

Tier II: The Personal

4. Makes a character or situation more relatable to me

5. Increases the text’s entertainment value

6. Is my fetish

Tier III: The Metatextual

7. Exists as a pretext for the intellectual exercise of seeing how much textual support I can find for something patently absurd

8. Less an elaboration upon the text and more a critical response to the text

9. Adopted specifically to spite the text’s author; fight me, Joanne

Tier IV: The Pernicious

10. Hey, you know what would be really fucked up?

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE. 

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating