&&decided To Write My Own Ahahah. It's A Silly Little Thing That's Been In My Notes App, Rotting. So

&&　　decided to write my own ahahah. It's a silly little thing that's been in my notes app, rotting. So here it is. Love me some pretty boy Yans and tired workaholics. Not sure what to call this?? Is it a blurb?? Or???

PRETTY BOY! YAN X MALE! READER

(context: you know each other via dating app)

You stared at the pretty boy in front you with possibly the most blank expression humanly possible. He breaks into a sweat under your intense gaze, attempting to stare back at you before giving up. This was one hell of a date. Was this his punishment? Did you finally find out that he's been stalking you for months now and are staring in disgust at his frustratingly beautiful face?

He wept in silence, his smile faltering at the awkward atmosphere as you continued to stare at him with those handsomely yet concerning half-lidded eyes of yours that practically had your eye bags engraved around it (like seriously. he understood why you'd stay up late to work overtime but please just take a break).

He hoped something, anything would come out of your mouth.

"You know," oh thank God.

"Never thought you'd be this cute. Thought you were cat fishing me or something." You said with a nonchalant tone. He sighed in relief. So you weren't disgusted, you were just observing his handsome face.

"Honestly, I'd probably kill myself right here, right now."

He choked on air.

did he hear you correctly?

"I beg your pardon—??" He breathed out, concern very evident in his tone and in his face. You simply blinked in response before realizing what you'd just said;

"Oh—sorry. I'm not in a good mental state right now. You're just really attractive and I currently don't want to live."

He could only deadpan at that information. He knew of your issues, how could he not? From your wrinkled business attire to that raccoon den that you call your apartment, it was hard not to notice. Still, he loves you for that... Still concerned though.

(based off an image in Pinterest that I don't have with me rn)

laios being marcille's nightmare in every universe

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

(yandere! alien x gn! reader)

the human spirit is indomitable. that much was obvious, especially with how you were still fighting against him even though there was clearly no escape. or at least that's what he thought.

"why do you still fight against me..."

the alien mumbles, voice cracking as he tries to move under the rubble you trapped him under. shit, this was not ideal at all. he can't believe you actually manage to drug him and then trapped him under the broken ceiling you shattered when he was chasing after you.

he still didn't know how you did it. he was faster, stronger, smarter... you shouldn't have been able to trick him like this. yet, his overconfidence might've been a reason as to why you got a one-up over him.

"you know there's no escape right? my spaceship has yet to dock at a port and we are light years away from earth."

the otherworldly creature tries reasoning with you, staring at your shaking figure as you tug at the collar he made you wear. it was a pretty thing, made of the finest jewels he got from another planet he visited a few years back.

he thought it would look good on you, and it did. so his heart aches when you destroyed it, allowing the jewels to scatter all over his once pristine floors.

no matter, he can just fix it again.

"darling, you should stop resisting. you will just tire yourself out."

the alien sighs, not finding your actions amusing as he shakes his head.

he doesn't get humans at all. why do you try so hard even when there's clearly no intelligent way to win this? perhaps that's why your civilization is still heaps below others, like his.

that was, until, he saw you dig out the microchip tracker he implanted into your neck with your bare hands.

his eyes widen in horror, jaw going slack as he screams, body shaking as he desperately tries moving under the rubble only for you to step on his face and throw the chip at him.

"fucking alien... don't you know? adrenaline is one hell of a drug."

he hears your laughter resounding through the hallways, your footsteps growing softer and softer as he tries to recover from your painful stomp.

his eyes shake, his features in undeniable pain as he feels his body giving up on him.

no, no, no!

he tries wiggling more, but unfortunately, his species had not adapted to recover from situations like this. so all he could do as he laid in pain under the rubble was to shout at you, desperation in his tone as he sees you touching and entering something into the emergency escape pod he had on his spaceship.

"darling don't you dare leave!"

he screams, looking absolutely pathetic as his eyes widen in both fear and anger. no! you weren't supposed to leave! you were supposed to be just some human who would give up escape and love him! you were supposed to accept him as your mate the second he kidnapped you because of how obsessed he had become after observing you for weeks in his spaceship!

you weren't supposed to leave him under the rubble like this!

you're clearly weaker, more stupid... and definitely an inferior species! why couldn't you just love him?! why couldn't you just give up and accept his affections?!

"darling! i'm warning you! if you leave i will find you and i will be very angry!"

the alien tries reasoning, wincing in pain as the effects of your face stomping still lingered. but of course, he knew you wouldn't listen to him. not when you so eagerly pointed your middle finger at him (a sign he came to see as disrespect in human customs) before leaving in the space shuttle.

he lets out a strangled scream, completely still under the rubble as his frustration and anger reaches it's peak. god damn it! now he has to wait for god knows how long until the drug wears off to finally be able to move and try to find you!

maybe he shouldn't have doubted humans so much. perhaps the rumors about the human spirit being indomitable were right. maybe the humans really were meant to conquer the stars.

Muzha🎋 and Jinzha✨

(yandere! seller x gn! reader) (slight nsfw? idk)

when he said he'd give you a special gift you didn't expect... whatever the hell this is.

you were expecting a free plushie or something, not... not a love letter and money! okay, the money was appreciated but the love letter? what the hell?

'I love you so much... you're so cute, I wanna bite you....'

that's not even the worst part! like, it gets worser from here! he talks about how he knows everything about you... how he would devote his entire life to you if you would just let him...

bro you didn't even know he existed before this online order.

and what's with this weird white stain at the end of the letter? it messed up his name and now you don't even know what to call him!

oh well, maybe you'll email him about it? i mean, he probably won't respond quick since it's a sunday and he's a small business owner but-

[email protected]: hi <3 i see that you are unsatisfied with our product and gift? use this new code for another free gift upon your next purchase!

[email protected]: SIGMA5

okay, what the fuck.

you hadn't even sent him anything.

why the hell did he respond?

how did he know you were absolutely flabbergasted with his gift?

...was he stalking you?

you immediately turn your head, frantically looking around for any hint that he was indeed stalking you. none.

you breathe out a shaky sigh of relief before your blood runs cold again.

[email protected]: that is not very skibidi of you :(

[email protected]: are you afraid of me? please don't be...

[email protected]: btw i'm in your closet lol

you stare at the new responses, blinking slowly before deciding to turn off your phone. you then stand up, walking towards your nearest wall before smashing your head against it in hopes of ascending to the next plane.

that's right fellas! if you don't want to deal with your troubles just bash your head into a wall! haha, what do you mean there's a guy coming out of your closet? just ignore him silly!

"darling! what the hell are you doing-"

ah... you must be ascending already. there's a new voice in the room! he's even trying to pull you away? he must be an angel...

"sweetheart please! this is not very fanum tax of you!"

"i'm wallmaxxing."

"oh. in that case..."

the guy that came out of your closet joins you in smashing his head against the wall.

yes! embrace the joy of wallmaxxing together!