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Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig

Peter: Do you recognize any of these men?

Drax: No but I remember him singing he wanted it that way

Peter: Backstreet Boys I’m familiar.

Peter: Number one could you please sing the opening to I want it that way by the Backstreet boy.

Loki: ….. okay, You are my fire

Peter: Number two

Deadpool: My one desireeeeee

Peter: keep it going!

Bucky: believe when I say

Peter: come on number four

Venom: I want it that way

Peter: Tell me why!

Loki,Deadpool, Bucky, Venom, Thanos: Ain’t nothing but a heart ache.

Peter: TeLl Me WhIIy

Loki, Deadpool, Bucky, Venom, Thanos: Ain’t nothing but a mistake

Peter: Now number five

Thanos: I never wanna hear you say

Peter: WhOAH

Loki, Deadpool, Bucky, Venom, Thanos: I want it that way

Peter: omg chills

Drax: That’s him. That raisin is the one who murdered my family.

Peter:

Not Everything..

Draco: I heard you had a crush on Rose Granger-Weasley is that true?

Scorpius: Really dad? Gosh, If you are going to give me advice i'll listen to you, but if you are going to lecture me not to fall for her I'm going abroad on the train now.

Draco: Well, i am not really an expert at chasing girls. but all i can say to you if you really like that girl you should fight for her no matter what other people say.

Scorpius: Said someone who used to make all the girls at Hogwarts drooling for you. A perfect guy like you wouldn't understand how i feel

Draco: I am far away from perfect. what made you think i am?

Scorpius: You had everything dad, you had Malfoy names, you were rich, smart, You were a Quidditch captain, a head boy, plus you are handsome! Merlin's beard that's rose! step a little further from me dad, i don't want her to think i am a daddy boy. Hi there rose! You smell good today!

Rose: *walking past scorpius practically ignoring him*

Hermione: *walking behind rose, smiling to Draco and Scorpius*

Draco: *staring longingly at Hermione's back* No, Not everything

Scorpius: what did you say dad?

Draco: Nothing. Nothing at all son. Now hop on the train you'd be late.

Gryffindor: I love this whole “good cop, bad cop” thing you guys have going.

Hufflepuff: It’s not really a “thing”, it’s more like I’m nice and Slytherin isn’t.

Ravenclaw: Why are you so cold?

Slytherin: Genius has side effects.

If Hagrid isn’t one of your favourite Harry Potter characters then you’re heartless sorry I don’t make the rules

slytherin   ↴

cunning ambitious creative resourceful

Slytherin: I don’t like you, but I’d fuck you if you asked.

Gryffindor: What??

Hufflepuff, from the kitchen: She said she’d fuck you if you asked.

Humans and their fandoms.

“No dude you’re definitely a Hufflepuff, like me,” Human Josh said, baring his teeth in the ‘smiling’ gesture used by humans as he spoke to Zlark who looked like the large confused magma creature he was. 

“No I’m a Zagarnian and you are an Earthling.” Zlark corrected the human who laughed as he continued to work on the damaged radar system. 

“No man it’s a- Okay how do I explain this? It’s a Hogwarts House Group, they’re house groups from a series of fictional stories following the generic heroic protagonist, you get put into a house group based off of your personality if I remember correctly? They’re really old books and I’ve only really read like three books.” Zlark blinked then nodded slowly. 

“If it is based off of personality, then what does it mean when you say that I too am in…Pufflehuff?” The creature asked with a tilt of his head and Human Josh let out a chuckle. 

“A Hufflepuff, some people like to joke that Hufflepuff is the house for the useless ones but in the stories, those who were placed into Hufflepuff were known for being loyal, hard working and patient.” 

“But you can be incredibly impatient.” 

“Only sometimes.” 

“…I will not argue with you on that subject matter, are the other humans in these house groups?” 

“Oh yeah, Finn and Negan are in Slytherin, that house group is, again, what some people like to joke that the assholes get sorted into, but that’s only because a few of the main characters bullies were from that house group, and the founder of the house put a big ol’ snake in the basement that liked to eat Mudbloods.” 

“I have many questions.” 

“A mudblood is a slur used for people born from non magic families who are a witch or wizard, Slytherin values leadership, ambition, cunning and something else but eh, the main character was supposed to be in Slytherin but he really didn’t want to be there.”

“Which house did he get sorted into? And what are the values this house looks for?” Zlark asked, genuinely intrigued by today’s subject matter of Earthly things. 

“He got sorted into Gryffindor, generic heroic protagonist traits, bravery, courage, chivalry and nerve, basically Gryffindor is for the people who will try to fight everything.” 

“So why aren’t you in Gryffindor?” 

“I only threaten to fight everything, I have never went through with my words because secretly everyone I threaten scares me.” Josh explained with a shrug. “Alisha and my sister are in Gryffindor.” 

“Is there another house?” 

“Ravenclaw, Mick is definitely a Ravenclaw, Ravenclaw is a house group that values intellect, learning, creativity and wit, it’s a house for the smartest of all smart people to be.” Josh explained as he finished fixing the radar, wiping his forehead and after a few minutes of thinking, Zlark nodded. 

“I must say, I do not think I can argue with your assigned houses but I do not think I am a…Hufflepuff-?” 

“Oh? Which house do you think you’d be in.” 

Zlark went quiet again as he thought. 

“Discard my previous statement, I now agree with what you said.” 

After they finished their work quota and went for their lunch break, Zlark would comment on the house group he thought other crew members belonged in, most Drexan’s were sorted either into Gryffindor or Slytherin, because of a mix of the ‘I will fight the fucking sun.’ vibes and the knowledge that the Drexan race were cunning when they needed to be. Doctor Thoras was sorted into Ravenclaw, then into Hufflepuff, then eventually back into Ravenclaw, Commander W’onz is a long suffering Gryffindor, Brork is also a Hufflepuff.

The Houses as Queen Songs

for anon (also Freddie)

Gryffindor: "We Are The Champions"

Ravenclaw: "Don't Stop Me Now"

Hufflepuff: "Somebody To Love"

Slytherin: "We Will Rock You"

Hufflepuff: If you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say anything at all.

Slytherin: Well, if I follow that rule, i’ll never speak again.

Gryffindor: Yeah, that’s kinda the idea.

Tove Lo / 9th of october

Friendship will save the world

My followers asked me || Dylan’s eyes or hands?

My parents always warned me about drugs sold on the street,  but never about the ones with deep brown eyes, and a heart beat.

My followers asked me || Dylan’s expressions - happy, sad or angry?

… and when he smiles, the whole world stops and stares for a while.

same

Cody Fern for The Last Magazine. February 7, 2018. | Photography by Carlotta Manaigo.

“I hit twenty-two and I just realized that I hated my life.I hated everything about. I hated the music I was listening to, I hated the city that I was in, I hated the people that I associated with. It was one of those moments where you have either a breakthrough or a breakdown and I had to ask myself some really serious questions about who I was going to be.”

She knew what she deserved, she didn’t expect much. All she wanted was a man who cared about her and treated her like a priority. She was tired of being used and abused by men who only craved the honey in between her thighs and would lie to get what they wanted. She deserved better.

Sarah Anastasia

We’re paper kids,

Fragile and weak

Burning the pages

We used to be.

Matches and houses,

Melting the plastic

Mouthing the words

We sang in the attic.

We sang a song

In an unknown language

Hoping the chorus

Would translate the pages

and shatter the glass

That held us captive.

“Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn't help if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up.”.

- Audrey Hepburn