Cant Stop Watching

Can’t… stop… watching

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en.wikipedia.org

Streisand effect - Wikipedia

If I just became another statistic

Would I finally be good enough to notice?

Avengers: Endgame + The 5 stages of grief.

somethings I worry about on the daily basis...

somethings I worry about on the daily basis include but are not limited to:

• tests

• projects

• homework

• family

• friends

• teachers

• general health

• whether or not my celebrity crush drank water today

• if that thing I said was necessary

• if I've been really mean in the past

• if someone thinks I'm stupid

• or ugly

• or I sound weird

normal things, or at least I think so

but I also worry about not so small things

like if my friends are doing alright upstairs

like if anyone I know is having issues at home

or other personal issues

I worry about the thoughts that swirl in their heads because, if they're like mine, sometimes they aren't nice

I worry about if a lockdown is real

and if what I can do can help more peers out

it's weird to think about throwing a book at someone who intends to end my life but it's a 3 second distraction that means at least more people are safe

I worry about my teachers' health

and that even when they're getting treated for cancer and can barely walk some days they have to come in and teach because that's healthcare and the school district

that they're underpaid and overworked but the district is broke

I worry about my brother

and that he'll get shot down in a conflict he didn't start

that his name will be forgotten by everyone but his family and his story will lose its vibrancy

I worry about my brother-in-law

and that he'll be stereotyped by his melanin

that one of the nicest most passive people I have ever met will face issues categorized by race

that he'll have the full weight of a cop on his neck while he says that he can't breathe

he's already gotten pulled over for no real reason, who's to say next time he won't be asked to step out of the car

or that he'll reach for his I.D. when asked and things get assumed

I worry about myself

that when I'm walking home from the bus stop

if I'm not careful enough

I'll get snatched

that I'll be used and sold

that I won't be able to fight back

but it'll still all be because I was asking for it

that my shoulders were out or my thigh is exposed or God forbid I wear low cut top

I worry that because I'm a "kid"

I won't be heard

that someone will assume I don't understand what I'm talking about

even though I have access to learn about anything I want

but the second I bring up something serious, something I'm concerned about, it's pushed aside because I "don't know what I'm talking about"

I worry

that even though my life expectancy is in the 80s

I'll have to face these issues for 60 or 70 more years

that my kids will face them too

that my worries will be the worries of the next generation

I worry that nothing will change

“It’s a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over.”

— Beau Taplin