Transitions

transitions

I hate transitional periods. I haven't experienced one like this before. at the end of every school year I knew that a new year would begin at the end of the summer. but now it is summer again and I know that no new semester is waiting for me at the end of august. the buzzword is uncertain. I have never felt this uncertain before. at the end of the month my lease is up and I have to move home. for how long? I don't know.

ever since I began college, maybe even before, whenever I was at home for an extended period of time I felt like I was in limbo. not doing anything, just waiting. but now the only thing that I am waiting for is for me to make a decision.

I HATE making decisions.

I have a hard enough time deciding what type of toothpaste I should buy. I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been avoiding the decision so far. that hasn't exactly been productive. but right now I don't even know how to start. I'm stuck in a cycle of denial, waiting for someone to tell what comes next.

so what comes next?

So, this is happening... part 2!

Because part 1 was exceedingly long and lacking in general amusement I have decided to put together a list of things I have done over the past three weeks to stave off boredom while on lorazepam.

Things I Have Done Over the Last Three Weeks to Stave Off Boredom While on Lorazepam:

  watch seasons 1-3 of "Game of Thrones".

read the first 370 pages of the book A Game of Thrones, decide to get back to it after I'm finished being interrupted by other things

watch "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix

play a crap-load of of "The Secret Society-Hidden Mystery" on my iPad (level 96 at the moment, what what!)

rediscover the joy of British panel shows

watch a lot of British panel shows

at one point I watched Mission Impossible 3

collect all 8 badges from the gym leaders, defeat the elite four, defeat my rival, and beat Pokemon Blue on gameboy

not wear a bra 99.9% of the time

shower infrequently

get a good night's sleep more often than not

spend a lot of time with my cat (when she's willing)

spend hours on BuzzFeed, trying to keep up with the "relevant news"

there's probably more that I'm forgetting. I'll call it "other forgettable mind excursions."

At least I've never been the type of person who worries/thinks about the future. I've always been more of the "be here now" type. That, I've found, is conductive with my current comings and goings (metaphorically, because you shouldn't drive while on lorazepam).

Buffy vs. The Gilmores

I have been thinking about the similarities between Gilmore Girls and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While there are not that many, there are some striking ones that made me wonder. They didn't make me wonder very much, but nevertheless, wonder I did. Lets go through a list:

7 seasons?

check

mother and daughter with absentee father?

check - Lorelai & Rory, Joyce & Buffy

[note: pre-season 5 Buffy. Granted, the relationship between Buffy and her mom is very different than the one that Lorelai and Rory shared. Also, Christopher is more present than Buffy's dad, but the title still holds for the most part]

first three seasons about high school then off to college in the 4th?

check

drops out of college?

check - Buffy never returns, but Rory does

[side note: I never understood why Rory dropped out of Yale until I went to college and found myself seriously considering dropping out for a semester or so. I didn't, but I was this close]

sleeps with first boyfriend, which causes far more problems than it is worth?

check - Buffy sleeps with Angel, he loses his soul and almost brings about the apocalypse, after doing some other nasty stuff. Rory sleeps with Dean and they continue their affair. Even after his wife finds out. 

[note: while Rory didn't sleep with Dean until season 4 after she had dated Jess he still remains her first boyfriend]

boyfriend with bad hair during season 4 and the beginning of season 5?

check - Riley, Dean: the bad hair is self-explanatory

said bad-haired boyfriend just seems to hold protagonist back?

check - Riley feels inadequate to Buffy and her Slayer strength/powers. Dean can see that his and Rory's lives are heading in two different directions.

season 5 ends with sadness?

check - Buffy dies. Rory gets arrested and ultimately drops out of Yale for a bit [note: Rory getting arrested is not as heartbreaking as Buffy dying. But I was upset still]

dark phase for protagonist during season 6?

check - Buffy, having been ripped out of heaven by her friends, goes into a dark depression because of being alive again and no longer at peace. Rory drops out of Yale, becomes estranged from Lorelai, and joins the DAR with Emily.

relationship that began as a hook up ends badly but ultimately leads to a stronger one in season 7 but the two still do not stay together?

check - Buffy begins sleeping with Spike in season 6 when she is depressed in order to feel something and finds he is the only one he can confide in. Is it because she hates him almost as much as she hates herself? Maybe. After she ends it he tries to rape her, she stops him. He goes to Africa to get back his soul and during season 7 the two form a trusting friendship and are truly there for each other. But then he burst into flames during the season finale, saving the world. Rory and Logan start hooking up casually because Logan feels like he is not boyfriend material. They soon do enter a relationship, but a fight about Jess gets them on a break/broken up and after reconciling Rory learning that Logan slept with three of his sister's friends did not go over well. Season 7 they are back together and, while there are some rough patches, they truly seem happy. But then Logan proposes and Rory says no.

protagonist breaks up with boy who is arguably her soul mate in season 3?

check - Angel leaves Sunnydale for Los Angeles, Jess runs away. While Angel being Buffy's soul mate is arguable, anyone who questions whether or not Rory and Jess were MFEO is completely insane. I will always have a soft spot for Angel, though I do enjoy Spike.

said arguable soul mate continues to show up every once in a while, sometimes causing tension between himself and new love interest?

check - Angel ruffles Riley's feathers and in a particularly humorous exchange:

RILEY:  Sometimes things happen between exes and when I saw that he was bad-

BUFFY:  He's not bad.

RILEY:  Seriously? That's a good day? Well, there you go. Even when he's good he's all Mister...Billowy Coat, King of Pain.

Angel shows up again in season 7 and some jealously arises between him and Spike. Jess shows up in season 6 to see Rory and Logan is a jerk to him. I don't remember if he ever confronts Dean in season 4.

snarky dialogue?

check - do I need to provide examples? I don't think so.

Let me know if I missed anything.

oh. by they way, there are spoiliers in this.

An Undulating Course: Rocking Chairs and the History of the World

since my show opened yesterday I thought it would be appropriate to post pictures from the gallery and of my actual work. I'm very happy with how everything came out!

this is my artist statement. I typed it up on my typewriter.

this is what the gallery looks like, four pictures on each wall with a little living room set up with a rocking chair at the far wall.

here are the illustrations themselves. I've included both the scans of the illustrations and pictures of them framed.

the text next to each framed illustration is an excerpt from the stories that correlate with the actual illustration. I typed them up on my typewriter as well (you can see the typewriter on the table in the first picture of the gallery).

I also made a book! with the stories AND the illustrations! I wanted to write a ridiculous preface, so I made up a pen-name, Thatcher P. Willersnaps. The books are 8.5 x 8.5 and I am selling them for $20 (so if you want one let me know).

it is weird to think that this whole process is basically over. I still have my final review with the faculty and on thursday night I have to take everything out of the gallery. I've been so wrapped up in this for so long my family had to remind me that my birthday is on wednesday.

anyways, I feel incredibly relieved, accomplished, and just plain happy.

I've been drawing patterns. Here is the first one.

This is a continuation of my first pattern. Here is an anecdote that I was thinking about while working on it.

I had a professor who never let us use a straight edge on any projects. Her reasoning was that the imperfections of our lines gave our work an element that was intrinsically human, that the imperfections were what made the work beautiful. I really like that idea.

That is not my way of saying that I think this pattern is beautiful. No, I only mention it because all of the patterns I am drawing are done by hand and are therefore greatly flawed. But I am okay with that.