I Remember When My Dad Was Hospitalised On His Last Day Alive After A Very Long Battle With Cancer.

i remember when my dad was hospitalised on his last day alive after a very long battle with cancer.

he loved music and mum had brought his ipod player with them when he had been admitted. the last few hours of his life were spent playing the music he had saved on shuffle. he was out of it and didnt respond at all, but theres some christian music i still cant listen to without sobbing.

my father said to me once that one of the things he deeply regretted was not putting music on for his father while he was fading away. he told me that grandpa would just sit in his old armchair in the quiet, and not until after he’d passed did my dad think of how he could have played of his favorite classical music tapes for him so grandpa could listen to something while he still could. i was very young when this happened and not much older when my dad told me this, but it always stuck with me as something important.

my mother died at home in a hospice cot, slowly shutting down over the course of about a week. when she had stopped responding, i remembered what dad told me about wishing he’d played music for grandpa, and i put the radio on her favorite country music station and kept it on for her until she died.

daddy died in hospital. no cassette players, no decent radios. the day after he was brought in, i thought again of what he told me, and i bought a little portable bluetooth speaker. even though he never woke up, was never aware, i played music for him too.

there’s no real significance to sharing this, not really. my motivation is selfish, again: i just want to hope that someone might think of this when their loved one is stuck in silence somehow, and maybe they’ll play music for them, and they won’t have to regret not doing so. i want to hope it helps someone. and i want to hope that someone will remember my dad with me, even in just a “story i read on the internet” way.

the artist in me wants to draw mayla (the force ghost) getting hugged by darth salty (the sith ghost) before he all but consumes her because the HURT/COMFORT POTENTIAL IS INSANEEE

mayla, a bright young soul, with the ARMS OF LITERAL DARKNESS WRAPPED AROUND HER

anyway i cant draw so

wow just finished another session of OYA TTRPG and im in shock,,, what a session

never thought i would have seen bennie befriend a sith ghost and yet here i am

that being said none of us knew what was happening (even the DM rip bairn) and we were all TERRIFIED

ESSPECIALLY WHEN THE SITH GHOST ALL BUT CONSUMED THE FORCE GHOST WE HAD ON THE SQUAD

me, every few weeks: wow i should start getting my life together

me, one week after that: oopsies

why did i decide to buy a manual i hate this

me dropping out of school

good news: it has passed & you will never have to experience it again.

bad news: it has passed & you will never have to experience it again

A conversation I had with my sister.

Somebody kill me.