Luvbugizm - Angelina - Tumblr Blog

ten habits to adopt for a beautiful life 💭

+ curated shopping: rather than over-consume in fast fashion and trends, buy fewer, high-quality items. frequent vintage shops, boutiques, or markets where you can find unique, timeless pieces.

+ focus on wellness and exercise: consider activities that are beneficial for the body and calming for the mind, such as yoga, pilates, or long walks in nature. choose activities that allow you to connect with your surroundings and maintain balance.

+ mindful eating: prioritise healthy, whole foods and cooking meals from scratch. organic produce, artisanal products, and perhaps even locally sourced ingredients could be staples in your kitchen. eating is a mindful practice, enjoyed at a leisurely pace.

+ cultural engagement: regularly visit museums, art galleries, and theatres, or participate in cultural events that inspire and enrich their creative spirit. value learning and exposure to the arts as a way to keep life vibrant and intellectually stimulating.

+ reading and continuous learning: develop a well-curated collection of books, including classic literature, philosophy, and art, and dedicate time regularly to reading and reflecting on what you've learned.

+ minimalist technology approach: stay up-to-date with necessary technology, but maintain a minimalist approach to its use. limit screen time, avoid social media distractions, and instead prioritise face-to-face interactions or hands-on activities.

+ intentional socialising: carefully cultivate your social life, with a focus on deep, meaningful connections rather than frequent, casual interactions. you likely enjoy hosting intimate gatherings at home, where you can experience conversation, ambiance, and connection.

states

table of contents ⌵

1 ⋮ forewordㆍdefinitionㆍexamples

2 ⋮ state of knowingㆍstate of lack

3 ⋮ changingㆍmaintainingㆍfalling outㆍbeing aware

4 ⋮ misconceptions

5 ⋮ advice

foreword

before we dive into this post, we first need to define WHO you are. you are pure consciousness. you are "I AM", the phrase that states just that — being nothing but awareness. your appearance — just like a state — is what you embody. a malleable physical object that can be changed through imagination. you aren’t the state itself. the state is your costume, your clothing, something you choose to put on and off. the moment you identify your "I AM" you turn your pure, unconditioned awareness into conditioned awareness.

definition

a state is an attitude of mind, a state of experience / consciousness / identity / awareness / imagination with a body of beliefs which you live by. a collective of several thoughts that all refer to one state. you identify yourself with it by saying: "i am…". there are infinite states into which you as an individual may fall, therefore your "i am…" can be anything. thus you manifest through states. what you are conscious of is a thought, an assumption, a bunch of statements that declare one and the same thing, leading to one and the same state. no state is greater than another. but the state, the attitude of mind to which you most constantly return to, constitutes your dwelling place. it's the state that manifests into your 3D reality. depending on what state you are in, it determines your actions and thoughts.

as you are always expressing a state. we wander through states all the time, several times a day. as there is an infinite amount of realities to be aware of, you choose which state it is that you want to dwell on. you can simply pick which state you want to embody and persist in it. persisting in a state is no different than persisting in an assumption. in fact, it's the exact same since a state equals the plural of assumptions.

examples

you always express a state of either having or not having your desire. here are some examples:

state of self-pityㆍstate of self-confidence

state of povertyㆍstate of wealth

state of anxietyㆍstate of calmness

the state of the wish fulfilled

you will hear this phrase a lot as it was coined by neville goddard. being in "the state of the wish fulfilled" simply means that you identify with the version of yourself who has their desires and is aware of that. it's a generic term that says that your wish has been "fulfilled". "fulfilling the inner man" — another term coined by neville — means to be in the state of the wish fulfilled.

example: being in the state of the wish fulfilled could mean being in the state of having your desired apartment.

the state of lack

the state of lack is the opponent to the state of the wish fulfilled or the state of knowing (both mean the same). a state of lack states that you have not established the belief that you have your desire — in other words — that you have not fully adapted to your desired state. acknowledging, realizing, noticing and pointing out that you don't have your desire in the 3D indicates that you do not have it in the 4D either.

example: being in the state of lack could mean being in the state of not having your desired apartment.

changing a state

how do you enter a new state? how do you leave your old state? through belief. you must believe in your state. whatsoever you desire, believe you have received it and you will. the thoughts of you must be accepted literally as they will be fulfilled literally. if you can believe and persuade yourself that things are as you want them to be to the point of actually moving into the feeling of knowing they are true, they will be felt and seen in your world. you must feel (=know) your desires are already realized, that they are already true, for the truth of any concept is known by the feeling of certainty that the thought is true.

in steps

1 ⋮ choose the state you want to occupy.

· · · become clear about what it is that you want to have or who you want to be.

2 ⋮ decide and accept that you have it.

· · · embody the person who already has what you desire. by doing this, you are either living in the end or in the knowing aka living in the state of the wish fulfilled. moreover, you are fulfilling yourself in imagination and enter your desired state.

3 ⋮ remain in the state of knowing by persisting in it.

· · · don't pay attention to opposing thoughts and flip them if needed. persist in staying in the new state until it becomes natural to you.

maintaining a state

you can move into any state, but you might not remain there since a state is made up of a body of beliefs. if you spend the day thinking from a certain point, a certain body of beliefs, the chances are that you might will fall asleep the night occupying the same beliefs.

your maintenance of a state is defined by resistance — in other words — the amount of opposing thoughts you have. you will know when you aren't occupying a state anymore as soon as you get doubts, negative assumptions or thoughts that make you question if you are still inhabiting that state.

meaning, you maintain a state by persisting. this does not mean that you keep going back to the wish fulfilled but rather stay faithful to your whatever you have mentally accepted in imagination.

the same way you have shifted your attention to an undesirable state, you can shift your attention right back to the state that you want to focus on.

falling out of a state

what if you think you have fallen out of that state already? you don’t just magically "fall out of a state". you will know when you aren‘t occupying your desired state anymore once you face resistance. once you start to question the fulfillment of your desire and the rightful embodiment of your state, you inhabit a new state — the state of doubt aka not having your desire aka lack. not thinking of your desire anymore — although you have accepted it to be true — doesn’t necessarily mean that you have stopped being in the state of owning your desire. an accepted thought, an embodied state, does not have to be remembered all the time. do you recall all the things that you own already? exactly, you don’t!

don’t condemn yourself for the state into which you have fallen. if you don’t like it, move into another. don’t feel sorry for yourself, because if you do you will make the state a habit and remain there. remember, the states into which we fall cannot mar or in any way deter our immortal self who fell.

knowing which state you are in

your physical reality will always give you evidence to the thoughts you have accepted to be true. what you see and what you do not see determines the state you are in. why? because manifestation happens instantly. your inner conversations create the external world you are currently living in.

misconceptions of states

1 ⋮ your state does not consist of emotions. emotions have no influence over your manifestation, how you will manifest it, etc.

2 ⋮ you are always in a state, whether you like it or not. it's not a method. you cannot "use" or "apply" it. you don't choose to not be in a state - just like you can't choose that your assumptions don't manifest or that you can magically "stop manifesting". you are always expressing yourself, you are always manifesting. call it assumptions that manifest or states that manifest, it's the same. the idea of states only serves the purpose to demonstrate the law in a more simplified way, trying to make you control or monitor every single thought / assumption of you less.

3 ⋮ therefore - both - thoughts and states manifest as they are the same. thoughts that end up being materialized in your external world have become assumptions accepted as true aka new beliefs. they represent the state you are currently in. it all comes down to belief, not the thought itself, not how many times you repeat an affirmation, but if you believe it to be true.

4 ⋮ having said that, methods do not manifest. you do. your state does, the collective of thoughts.

5 ⋮ you might not enter a state right away after just "intending" to enter it. you enter a state once it feels natural to you and once you have fully accepted it to be true to you. remember, manifestation is instant. your state — if rightfully persisted and thus believed in — will be immediately reflected in your 3D.

6 ⋮ persistence does not equal repetition (aka affirming).

advice

if you will think you have your desire and remain conscious of the state long enough to make it natural, as the thoughts flow from you, they become a natural part of your body of beliefs, and the world will proclaim your desire. your state of occupation will naturally change.

walk in the state until it becomes natural. the moment the feeling is natural, your desire is yours!

with love, ella.

wfh job means wfa (working from anywhere), the best for a girlblogger thought daughter like me.

as someone who works remotely, i love how i can be literally everywhere as long as i have my devices and can deliver my work on time. i have went on holidays multiple times while still working and it's the best thing ever lol. the work-life balance is definitely balancing. this post will be about my experience, pros and cons!

now playing... ▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||| 2:58 | NEMONEMO by YENA

ᯓ★ let's talk about the pros!!

i can take breaks at any time i want, have my breakfast or lunch at any time without anyone micromanaging me. the next best thing is i can just be myself without worrying how other people perceive me at work. no worrying if i looked bad or if the way i sit, stand or walk is not 'ladylike' i can do wtv tf i want.

i can take naps. like LONG naps. it's heavenly.

i don't have to get ready to work. i literally wake up and go on my laptop. i can do anything before i start too, like playing with my cats, exercise, and never be late for work. how can i be late? i only need to log in on gathertown (a site/app where you can be in the office with your co-workers, in pixel game style) when my work hour start. lol

i'm literally at a cafe rn as i'm typing this. like i said, you can be anywhere as long as you have the money haha

can watch kdramas, movies or horror podcast during work. awesome.

more time to take care of yourself. i have been trying to get back to my self care era after my mental health deteriorated so bad because of my last job. when i say bad, i mean like REAL bad. my self esteem is just gone. i keep trying to find my old self again but i keep getting more and more anxious. by getting into wfh job, i can focus on this side of me more and hopefully be able to feel like myself again.

ᯓ★ now the cons.

it can get boring sometimes because you're stuck at home. i get too lazy to even get ready and go out even though i know i can be anywhere. the library suddenly feels so far away, resulting me to just stay home. this can go on for days.

yeah more time for self care.. but also more time to be lazy. because it's a desk job i don't be moving around anymore unless i want to. and unless i have the motivation.. i will just lay down on my bed.

backaches from sitting too long. leg too.. and my whole body basically.

unless i do intermittent fasting, i WILL eat uncontrollably. having access to unlimited free time and food can make me gain weight AAAHHHH

more money out since i keep buying fancy drinks and food now as i have too much free time... this is a self control problem i know. this is on me.

okay i definitely have more pros & cons but i can't just think of more as of rn. maybe next time i will write part 2 if there is anything i want to add!

ᯓ★ what about my previous job?

it was a shift food & beverage job and it was... an experience i guess (i never want to go back again) i would rather just be a customer damn. i never thought i would ever feel this much anxious feeling until i got into f&b. the first few months was kind of fun and okay-ish, but after that it was hell. at some point i couldn't breathe at work and literally had to go to the clinic to get checked during my work hour.

the way people interact during work was something.. in front of them they play along and laugh together, but behind they talk bad about each other. it got me thinking that they definitely had talked badly about me too, and this made me anxious. ngl, i've been a people pleaser for so long (now i recognize that it can be really bad doing this) so i want everyone to like me.

this also made me think that maybe, other people i know outside work also do this to me? i became anxious of every single interaction i do, offline or online. i keep thinking that maybe even my friends don't like me...

i have now realized that i do not have to be liked my everyone. maybe this people pleasing behaviour is based on my trauma, so i have a really hard time to unlearn this. like what do you mean someone don't like me when i have been nothing but nice to you? you don't even know me that well... i'm so sad

but it has to be stopped. i can't just be out there trying to seek validation from people who are not worth my time. it's hard, but everyday i have to remind myself that there are literally so many people who like and love me for who i am.

i got a fiancé and he's the best ever. i have great friends who like how weird i can get, how loud, how annoying i am. they love me because they want to. and i love them because i want to. and i need to remember that there will be people that dislike me just because they want to, and i don't have to do anything about it.

slowly learning the art of letting them be.

────୨ৎ────

end of log. this was cut short as i need to go now, but thank you for reading, see you next time!

spoiling myself with yummy perfumes, body butters and lotions, hair treatments and quality shampoo and conditioners, pretty sparkly makeup, cute little trinkets, plushies, adorable bag charms and keychains, yummy food, and my favorite teas!! i love showing me how much i love myself!

more workout youtube channels

akshaya agnes - mainly yoga

align with dominique - yoga & pilates

caitlin k’eli yoga - yoga

caroline girvan - mainly weight training, but includes some calisthenics routines

courtney watts - pilates & body weight routines

fitbymik - strength training

gloria song - short workouts & glow up tips

half moon yoga - yoga

marie steffen - the art of health - strength training, pilates, and stretching

mish choi - kpop idol inspired pilates

pamela reif - mainly cardio & strength training

posture tonic by jacinta brown - pilates

samantha clarke - pilates & body weight style routines

yoga dose - yoga

yoga with olive - yoga & mobility

yoqi yoga and qigong - qigong

ballet thera fit - short body weight & cardio routines

euddeume - mainly hiit & cardio

Girl Talk™: Affirmations ᰔᩚ .☘︎ ݁˖

Affirmations are truly a powerful tool to help you create your true reality

But are you lowkey feeling that your affirmations do not really have that deep of a connection to yourself?

Patience is Key

but another thing is that you don't have a connection to the affirmation it self. You are hypothetically using the energy of another persons affirmation to create your dream reality. Which decreases the ability to really capture your desires in the 3d.

When really create your affirmation yourself you can directly assign a hidden meaning which is below the surface which makes the affs more three dimensional

EX. My affirmation: That's what I'm good for! It's winning!!!

When you read this affirmation you will have a picture in your head of what it could mean. Which is not grasping the full potential of it. -> The actual meaning of what I put in it.

But imagine if you have wrote this affirmation yourself with a pure heath. You'll automatically assign a special meaning to it which makes it more effective and unforgettable.

Important: It does not matter if the affirmation already exist

EX: I'm confident.

The only thing that matters is what energy you put in it.

With what circumstance you create it.

Is it a whim or is it more?

A short guide on how to create your own affs

Write down a list with some points that you want to have in your life

What do you want to archive?

What do you want to see?

What life you want to life?

etc.

EX. Being/Becoming rich : A+ student life etc.

Generally you should use precise and direct connectors

Avoid negative connectors

EX. -

I am ... | -> not I will/could

I get ... | -> not maybe I will

... is my reality | ->not (Thing I don't want to happen) doesn't have a presense in my life

Use your creativity

You can look how other affs are stuctured but do not copy it directly.

Lastly you can have affirmations that you did not create but it will have a lesser effect than affs you created yourself

It still works like it should work because "everything comes from nothing"

more it girl youtube channels

adriana tudorache - slow living & cozy vlogs

anna lenkovska - productivity & vlogs

annika - productivity & cozy vlogs

basicallyreese - realistic vlogs & sit down videos

breanna quan - productive vlogs

briddy - study, productivity, & travel vlogs

clarisseintheclouds - travel & cozy vlogs

dadacafe - wellness, vlogs, & workouts

daisy keech - workouts & vlogs

deanna - study & productivity vlogs

dear anna - cute vlogs

dia - medical & study vlogs

elizabeth chu - vlogs & talk videos

emily feng - medical & study vlogs

emma chamberlain - vlogs & talk videos

emma nordlund - productive vlogs

gigi mw - productivity, wellness, and routines

ginny - productivity & study vlogs

girlworld - glow up tips

gloria song - workouts & glow up tips

honeybearjenn - cozy vlogs

hyobin - medical school & study vlogs

inayah - cozy vlogs & talks

irene athanasiou - wellness frequencies

lenalifts - productivity & wellness vlogs

life with isabella lanter - commentary & advice

linh truong - cozy vlogs

lunardazes. - productivity & study vlogs

mae alice suzuki - self improvement talks

michelle kwee - cozy vlogs

mila magnani - femininity, beauty, and talks

miloffcat - aesthetic playlists

mishujo - productivity & study vlogs

morgan long - cozy vlogs

nami’s life - longer cozy vlogs

nikki rutherford - thrifting vlogs

olivia yang - cute self care vlogs

sab yang - study & productivity

saki ogata - cute vlogs, fashion, & beauty

sarah chio - y2k aesthetic & outfits

serena - study & productive vlogs

shin - cute vlogs, hauls & unboxings, etc.

slow life stories - claudia - cozy & relaxing vlogs

stella sun - crafting vlogs

study to success - study with me’s, stationary, etc.

susiejtodd - vlogs

tarayummy - you already know

the bliss bean - productivity & vlogs

the doctor youn show - skincare, products, etc.

the yoga institute - holistic wellness

the moments - lymphatic drainage & facial massages

twinelle - fashion

unjaded jade - travel, vlogs, & academia

vanessa tiiu - productive & daily life vlogs

vicky justiz - workouts, vlogs, & wellness

we’re all insane - informational podcast about people’s experiences and their lives

yoojin’s life - cozy vlogs

yoora jung - lifestyle & vlogs

yours truly, chloe - study & daily life vlogs

don’t say anything. Just detach.

detachment = less negativity, and a objective mindset.

detachment: the state of being objective or aloof. When on a self development journey, one of the main goals is to remove negativity from your life, which, is pretty obvious and important.

negativity can cause a bad mindset, and interfere with your goals. So to get rid of negativity, you have to take it out of your life. But, it can be hard when your surrounded by negativity. Especially when it comes in the form of people.

being surrounded by negative people is down right bad. They can inject thoughts into your head that aren’t true. The key to getting rid of this negativity your surrounded by is detaching yourself so you can keep your own positive energy in your own world, and focus on yourself.

focusing on yourself and detaching is the key to being objective, not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts.

To get rid of negative, and to focus on yourself and only yourself

you need to detach.

I cooked real bad with this on y’all

pilates routines

workouts under 30 minutes

15 minute full body pilates hiit by move with nicole

15 minute express pilates workout by move with nicole

15 minute express pilates by move with nicole

15 minute pilates ab workout by lidia mera

20 minute full body express pilates by move with nicole

20 minute express pilates by move with nicole

20 minute express pilates workout by move with nicole

20 minute express pilates by move with nicole

20 minute express pilates workout by move with nicole

20 minute full body hourglass pilates by madeleine abeid

20 minute full body pilates by madeleine abeid

20 minute hourglass full body workout by lidia mera

20 minute hourglass pilates by lidia mera

20 minute everyday hourglass pilates by lidia mera

20 minute full body pilates by madeleine abeid

20 minute pilates cardio abs by move with nicole

20 minute cardio & booty pilates by move with nicole

20 minute low impact pilates cardio & abs by move with nicole

25 minute feel good pilates by move with nicole

30-45 minute workouts

30 minute full body workout by move with nicole

30 minute pilates full body workout by boho beautiful yoga

30 minute pilates workout by lidia mera

30 minute full body pilates w/ankle weights by marie steffen

30 minute daily at-home pilates by marie steffen

35 minute full body pilates by move with nicole

35 minute full body pilates by marie steffen

35 minute at-home pilates by marie steffen

35 minute full body hourglass pilates workout by lidia mera

40 minute full body pilates by lidia mera

40 minute hourglass pilates workout by lidia mera

40 minute full body workout by move with nicole

45+ minute workouts

45 minute full body at-home pilates by marie steffen

45 minute full body pilates w/ optional ankle weights by marie steffen

45 minute full body pilates by marie steffen

50 minute full body workout by move with nicole

55 minute full body pilates by move with nicole

60 minute full body pilates by marie steffen

60 minute pilates hiit by eleni fit

1 hour total body burn by moving mango pilates

1 hour low impact total body burn by moving mango pilates

1 hour intensive full body pilates by moving mango pilates

1 hour full body workout by move with nicole

1 hour total body pilates by moving mango pilates

Do you ever feel sick and don't feel like doing anything when the day before you told yourself you were going to do a glow up, live always the best ecc..?

yes definitely! unless i'm actually sick and incapable of doing anything, i will at least try. you didn't ask for advice, but here we go anyways. when i feel like that, heres a few things i do:

how to do things when you don't feel like doing them: (from personal experience)

believe that you can do anything. dont roll your eyes at me! dont skip this part either. this is the main point that gets me going every single time. i truly believe that i can do anything, that i am capable of literally anything that i want to achieve. if i want it, i will have it. that is the first mindset you must have when it comes to this.

start small/ make it fun. yes, ofc i said this. if you can't do a full 1 hour workout, do some pushups/squats/lunges and go for a bike ride or a walk with a friend. what i do when im going bike riding with a friend is we go to a mall and buy drinks there! so make it fun! adding friends to whatever you need to do certainly makes it fun. another thing you can do is if you need to read, you can create a cosy spot in your room with scented candles and a little snack and everything and sit and read there. just the idea of it gets me excited!

treat yourself like a project/ robot. now THIS is something that has certainly gotten my some discipline. we as humans have emotions and feelings and moods. sometimes we don't wanna do stuff, and we actually cave into that. if you promised yourself that you would change your life, switch off your emotions and moods. treat yourself like a robot or an "apprentice" that you're training to become the best.

reward yourself! so you can either reward the action (like reading or studying) or the outcome (like finishing a book or getting a high mark on a test). decide what works the best for you. example: you don't wanna study? you can either a) reward yourself for studying with some free time with friends or watching your fav show or b) you can reward your self by the score you get on the test (ex if you got higher than 80%= a certain thing on your wish list, above 90%= a better thing on your wish list, 100%= the thing you've wanted for ages) you don't wanna read? you can either.. a) reward yourself for reading for x amount of minutes or b) you can reward yourself for finishing a book in a certain amount of time.

alter egosss. i know, i mention this quite often, but trust me this actually gives such a burst of emotion! embody someone else/ a different version of you that can best handle the situation. im gonna make a whole post on alter egos soon cus i mention it in a lot of my posts.

EDIT:

Please remember that if ur actually sick or genuinely feeling really low, remember to rest!! Remember to take time to relax and slow down. Take care of yourself honey <3

thats it for now! i hope this helped <3

btw heres a big master-post to how to get things done when you dont want to (not by me)

Femme Fatale Guide: Signatures To Discover For A Stronger Personal Brand

Personal brand colors (for your outfits, makeup, nails, socials, office supplies/decor, etc.)

Signature aesthetic choices (could you be identified as the woman always in a leather jacket, wearing red lipstick, always wearing crystal hair clips or full ear stacks, etc.)

Signature jewelry pieces

Go-to nail color/shape

Signature drink (alcoholic or not)

Personal sayings you're known for in your social group

Signature scent

Unique talents/hobbies/skillsets (Painting, cooking, computer skills/programming, negotiating, writing, etc.)

Your go-to restaurants, shops, etc.

Signature meals/particular food choices

Signature hostess gifts

Specific leisure priorities (she's the woman you'll always find at the Opera, contemporary art museum, dog park, watching Alfred Hitchcock movies, etc. in her free time)

Areas of life where you give the best advice

Causes/organizations you care most strongly about

Your greatest social competency (Telling the best stories, being funny, asking great questions, making everyone feel welcome and included, negotiating, planning the best trips/parties, being a social connector, etc.)

How to bring *luxury* into your life while on a budget

Luxury on a budget is absolutely achievable! It's about focusing on creating an experience of indulgence and pampering, rather than just expensive things. Here are some ideas:

Redefine Luxury for You:

Focus on Experiences: Luxury isn't just material possessions. Think about what makes you feel truly pampered and relaxed. Is it a long, candlelit bath with a good book? A picnic in a scenic spot? Prioritize experiences that create lasting memories.

Quality over Quantity: Invest in a few key items you'll love and use for years, rather than buying a lot of cheap things. This could be anything from a luxurious body lotion to a cozy throw blanket.

Create a Luxurious Atmosphere at Home:

Declutter and Deep Clean: A clean and organized space instantly feels more luxurious. Light some scented candles, put on some calming music, and dim the lights for a spa-like atmosphere.

DIY Spa Treatments: Skip the expensive spa and recreate the experience at home. Give yourself a foot massage with homemade sugar scrub, use a facial mask made with natural ingredients, or draw a relaxing bath with essential oils.

Elevate Everyday Activities: Take the time to savor a cup of tea in the morning. Set the table for dinner with nice plates and silverware, even if it's just a simple meal.

Seek Out Free or Low-Cost Luxuries:

Embrace Nature: Take a hike in a beautiful park, have a picnic by the beach, or simply sit outside and enjoy the fresh air. Nature is a free and luxurious way to de-stress and reconnect.

Cultural Gems: Many museums and galleries offer free or discounted admission days. Check your local library for free museum passes or online resources for virtual tours of famous collections.

Learn a New Skill: Taking a free online class in something that interests you, like photography or cooking, can be a stimulating and luxurious way to spend your time.

Remember: Luxury is about feeling good and taking care of yourself. By being creative and resourceful, you can incorporate these elements into your life, regardless of your budget.

25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

101 ways to improve self esteem

1) Master a new skill.

2) List your accomplishments.

3) Do something creative.

4) Challenge your limiting beliefs.

5) Talk to a counselor.

6) Don't worry about what others think.

7) Read or watch something inspirational.

8) Stay true to your character.

9) Let go of negative people.

10) Set healthy boundaries with others.

11) Care about your appearance.

12) Welcome failure as part of growth.

13) Be a lifelong learner.

14) Face your fears.

15) Become a mentor.

16) Accept compliments.

17) Eliminate self-criticism.

18) Practice coping skills to manage stress and big emotions.

19) Notice negative thoughts and beliefs.

20) Challenge negative thinking.

21) Think about what you learned from negative experiences.

22) Practice gratitude.

23) Exercise.

24) Eat healthy and limit junk food.

25) Get good sleep.

26) Spend time with positive and supportive people.

27) Encourage yourself.

28) Write a list of your strengths.

29) Don't compare yourself to others.

30) Avoid perfectionism.

31) Do at least one positive, enjoyable activity every day.

32) Celebrate small victories.

33) Be helpful and considerate to others.

34) Be honest with yourself and others.

35) Accept your flaws.

36) Don't give up.

37) Practice self-care.

38) Go easy on yourself.

39) Practice being assertive.

40) Practice saying "No".

41) Practice relaxation techniques.

42) Take on challenges.

43) Volunteer to help others.

44) Forgive others and yourself.

45) Set goals and work toward them step by step.

46) Seek balance in all areas of your life.

47) Discover your passions and purpose

48) Groom yourself.

49) Dress nicely.

50) Be kind and generous to others.

51) Practice good posture.

52) Change a small habit.

53) Smile.

54) Don't procrastinate.

55) Don't take things personal.

56) Organize your personal space.

57) Challenge unkind thoughts about yourself.

58) Spend time outside.

59) Notice the good things.

60) Celebrate your successes

61) Write a list of things you like about yourself.

62) Don't take too much on.

63) Do something for yourself every day.

64) Develop daily habits.

65) Remind yourself it's okay if not everyone likes you.

66) Practice mindfulness.

67) Learn to tolerate discomfort.

68) Use problem-solving skills.

69) Take responsibility instead of blaming.

Tell Yourself Positive Affirmations Such As:

70) I am grateful for every day.

71) I am worthy of happiness and love.

72) I am in charge of my own happiness.

73) I love, respect, and believe in myself.

74) I deserve to be happy and successful.

75) I approve of myself, right here and now.

76) I am learning and changing for the better.

77) I accept 100% responsibility for my own life.

78) Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.

79) I can learn to accept the parts of myself that I don't like.

80) I am thankful for my challenges as they make me a stronger person.

81) Write down three positives about each day.

82) Make a collage with your talents, goals, and dreams.

83) Practice laughing.

84) Be proud of yourself.

85) Say mistakes are an opportunity to learn.

86) Show respect to yourself and others.

87) Resolve conflict peacefully.

88) Ask for help or support.

89) Complete a daily task list.

90) Have a growth mindset.

91) Be optimistic.

92) Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

93) Focus on the things you have control over and can change.

94) Get started on tasks you have been putting off.

95) Practice good daily hygiene.

96) Focus on solutions not problems.

97) Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.

98) Drink plenty of water.

99) Start a new hobby or join a club/sport.

100) Do random acts of kindness.

101) Create a dreams list.

what to invest in to look and feel good this 2024

nutritionist or books on healthy and balanced nutrition

dental treatments

endocrinologist, if you need to know and take care of the functioning of your hormones

treatments for the care of your skin and hair, such as hairdressing, good products for hair and face, facial cleansing, treatments that your skin needs, go to a dermatologist if you need it, know what type of skin you have and know what are the right products to take care of it.

gym, a sports activity or time to do some exercise on your own, such as training at home. this not only helps your body look good, but also improves your physical and mental health.

psychological therapy, there are still people who believe that the psychologist is only necessary for people with serious problems, but that is not so, a therapist can guide us and help us to improve in the areas of our life that we want.

energy therapies, which would be complementary to psychological therapy, such as reiki, energy cleansing, access bars, among others.

quality time with yourself, do the things you enjoy, your hobbies and also time with people who make you feel good and from whom you can both enrich each other.

and if you have more ideas about this, share them in the comments, it can be of great help to other people ✨

Types of relationships that look like love but are not:

Infatuation: This is an intense emotional or sexual attraction to someone that can give the illusion of love. However, infatuation is often based on idealized perceptions rather than a deep emotional connection.

Codependency: Codependent relationships involve one person excessively relying on another for emotional or physical needs. This dependency can mimic love, but it is rooted in the need for validation, control, or a sense of purpose.

Unrequited love: This refers to a situation where one person has romantic feelings for another, but those feelings are not reciprocated. It may involve one-sided affection, longing, or an obsession with someone who does not feel the same way.

Limerence: Limerence is an intense and obsessive form of attraction characterized by intrusive thoughts, longing for reciprocation, and an idealized image of the other person. It can feel like love, but it often lacks a genuine emotional connection.

Conditional love: In relationships based on conditional love, affection and care are only given when certain conditions or expectations are met. This type of relationship lacks unconditional acceptance and can be manipulative or controlling.

Trauma bond: A trauma bond forms when two individuals share intense emotional experiences, often negative or abusive. Despite the harmful dynamics, there may be a strong attachment due to the shared trauma, leading to a mistaken perception of love.

Transactional relationships: These relationships are based on mutual benefit or convenience rather than genuine emotional connection. Partners may stay together for financial security, social status, or other practical reasons, rather than genuine love and affection.

Manipulative relationships: Manipulative relationships involve one person exerting control and power over the other through emotional manipulation, coercion, or gaslighting. The manipulator may feign love and affection to gain control or exploit their partner's vulnerabilities.

Fantasy relationships: In fantasy relationships, one or both partners create an idealized version of the other person, often based on unrealistic expectations or fantasies. The relationship may lack a true emotional connection, as it is based on the person's fantasy rather than the reality of who their partner is.

One-sided relationships: These relationships are characterized by an imbalance of effort, care, or emotional investment. One person may consistently give more while the other takes without reciprocation. It can create an illusion of love, but it lacks equality and mutual respect.

Love addiction: Love addiction refers to a compulsive or obsessive pattern of seeking out relationships and being dependent on the euphoric feeling of being in love. It can lead to a cycle of unhealthy relationships, as the person seeks constant validation and excitement without addressing underlying emotional issues.

How to Add Hints of *Luxury* in Your Everyday Routine Using Your 5 Senses

Here are some ways to add hints of luxury into your everyday routine, for a touch of indulgence without breaking the bank:

Sight:

Fresh flowers: A small bud vase with a single bloom or a mini bouquet of seasonal flowers brightens any space.

Candlelight: Swap harsh overhead lighting for candles in the evening. Opt for natural soy wax and calming scents like lavender or vanilla.

Declutter and decorate: Tidy up your surroundings and add a touch of beauty with a framed picture, a decorative throw pillow, or a scented candle.

Smell:

Signature scent: Apply a touch of your favorite perfume to your pulse points in the morning for a confidence boost.

Natural air freshener: Simmer a pot of water with citrus peels or herbs like rosemary for a natural and uplifting scent in your home.

Scented sachets: Tuck fragrant sachets filled with lavender or rose petals into your lingerie drawers or clothes closet.

Touch:

Luxe towels: Invest in a set of plush towels for a spa-like experience after showering or bathing.

Silk scarf: Tie a silk scarf around your neck or wear it in your hair for a touch of elegance.

Comfy slippers: Upgrade your footwear at home with a pair of soft slippers or house shoes.

Taste:

Homemade infused water: Add slices of cucumber, lemon, or berries to your water pitcher for a refreshing and flavorful drink.

High-quality coffee or tea: Invest in a bag of specialty coffee beans or loose-leaf tea for a more enjoyable morning or afternoon pick-me-up.

Multi-sensory experience: Combine taste with other senses to create a more immersive experience. Play calming music while you eat, light a scented candle, or arrange your food on a beautiful tray.

Sound:

Uplifting playlist: Create a playlist filled with calming music or nature sounds that help you relax and de-stress.

Listen to audiobooks: Immerse yourself in a captivating story by listening to audiobooks while commuting or doing chores.

Focus on the soundscape: Pay attention to the sounds around you – birds chirping, rain falling, or gentle music – and appreciate the beauty of everyday acoustics.

Bonus Tip:

Mindfulness: Take a few minutes each day to be present in the moment and savor the simple pleasures. This can be anything from enjoying a delicious cup of tea to feeling the soft texture of your favorite blanket.

By incorporating these small touches, you can elevate your everyday routine and create a more luxurious and enjoyable experience. Remember, luxury isn't just about expensive things, it's about creating a sense of peace, comfort, and beauty in your daily life.

Follow for more tips <3

this is how you build your OWN beliefs from scratch

beliefs are the foundation of creating the life you desire, along with your inner conversations and emotions. this is why it is important to examine all the beliefs you have in every area of your life, especially those about people and yourself, to see if they align with your natural self, which is your divine self.

i said "own" because we picked up beliefs from the people we were surrounded by as children, having no choice at that time but to accept them. however, the idea is that you always have a choice to choose or create your own beliefs that align with your true self and will shape a whole new reality. if you want to build your beliefs from scratch, you need to:

identify the old beliefs – you cannot change something you are not aware of.

unlearn the old beliefs – ask yourself if they are true for you or if they align with your truth.

list the "new" beliefs – form beliefs that are true for you, true to your divine self.

act on the "new" beliefs – behave in a way that is more aligned with those beliefs.

persist – continue to choose the new beliefs you created moment to moment, even if the situation remains the same.

i definitely recommend having a journal when practicing unlearning beliefs that don't serve you, as it makes you more aware of them, making it easier to remove or replace those beliefs. doing shadow work is one way to deeply investigate what is happening inside you, why you believed the old beliefs, where they came from, how to make peace with them, and how to let them go.

once you have chosen those new beliefs, you must perpetuate them every day, especially when a situation challenges you—particularly your emotions—to choose that new belief for you to experience a new reality. because you cannot just list them and then forget about them. your behavior should match these new beliefs until it becomes natural for you to think and act in that way.

"..because in the next moment it is a whole new reality. you actually have to keep choosing the belief every single nanosecond in order to actually have an experience of ongoing perpetuation." ♱ bashar (darryl anka)

to truly experience this whole new reality you desire, persist in your new ideas, new beliefs, and the thoughts and behaviors aligned with those ideas and beliefs. it may be uncomfortable at first, but that is also just a belief. if you find it hard to attain, as i said, doing shadow work will really help you. this is just a reminder that you always have a choice. always choose what is aligned with your natural self.

Femme Fatale Guide: Game-Changing TED Talks Everyone Should Watch

"How Five Simple Words Can Get You What You Want" by Janine Driver

"Master your Mindset, Overcome Self-Deception, Change your Life" by  Shadé Zahrai

"How to talk to the worst parts of yourself" by Karen Faith

"Think before you speak, hacking the secret of communication" by Catherine Molloy

"The Hidden Code For Transforming Dreams Into Reality" by Mary Morrissey

"Don't Believe Everything You Think" by Lauren Weinstein

"The public speaking lesson you never had" by DK

"Programming your mind for success" by Carrie Green

"How to stop screwing yourself over" by Mel Robbins

"Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success" by Louise Evans

"The psychology of seduction" by Raj Persaud

"Why we're unhappy -- the expectation gap" by Nat Ware

"Think Fast. Talk Smart" by Matt Abrahams 

"Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix' by Tasha Eurich 

"5 steps to designing the life you want" by Bill Burnett

"Staying stuck or moving forward" by Dr. Lani Nelson Zlupko

"To reach beyond your limits by training your mind" by Marisa Peer

"Emotional laws are the answer for better relationships" by Diana Wais

"Feelings: Handle them before they handle you" by Mandy Saligari

"Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth" by Adia Gooden 

HOW TO ACTIVATE YOUR HAPPINESS CHEMICALS

Dopamine (pleasure + reward)

Sleep

Go outside

Be creative

Complete a task

Doing something new

Celebrate the small wins

Serotonin (the mood stabilizer)

Running

Meditating

Practice yoga

Walk in nature

Relax in the sun

Oxytocin (the love hormone)

Hug someone

Play with a cat/dog

Random acts of kindness

Give someone a compliment

Quality time with friends and family

Endorphins (the pain relief/distresser)

Laughing

Essential oils

Take a hot bath

Watch a comedy

Eating dark chocolate

these are the habits you have to give up before the year is out:

worrying about people and things you can’t control

negative conversations with others

obsessing about what others think

lying for others

expect others to do what you want them to do and get angry if they don't do it

creating expectations on others

gossiping

making excuses for not taking care of your responsibilities

lying to yourself

putting your needs lasts

giving priority to other people's opinions rather than your own

letting the negative opinions of others affect you

limiting yourself

comparing themselves to others and putting them on a pedestal

giving prominence to people who do not deserve it

set boundaries with others but not with yourself

spending too much time on social media

habits you need to implement:

create a daily routine that you feel comfortable with and suits you

calming your mind a few times a day

positive affirmations and healthy thoughts

complimenting others and congratulating their success

letting go of things you can’t control

ending toxic relationships

more time outside

making yourself and your health a priority

self compassion and self forgiveness

taking responsibilities

more self care

beginning with a motivation each day

do what you need for yourself

starting something new (activity, hobby, habit)

not to depend on others and to learn to do things you want to do on your own

focus on the good things and not on the things you don't like

exercise and eat healthy for the sake of your body and not to fit into a beauty canon

getting out of your comfort zone

focus on building healthy relationships rather than being guided by false expectations of how relationships should be

be true to yourself and your values

not to sell or denigrate you for money or lavish gifts

How To Develop Self Respect ✨

Understand your strengths, weaknesses, what you believe, and what you want. This is like the starting point for respecting yourself.

Decide how you want others to treat you. Say "no" when you need to and think about what's best for you.

Stop saying bad things about yourself. Say nice things instead, just like you would to a friend.

Eat healthy food, sleep well, and do things that make you happy and relaxed.

Set things you want to do and finish. When you do them, you'll feel really good about yourself.

When you mess up, don't be too hard on yourself. Think about what you can learn and do better next time.

Be with people who make you feel good and avoid people who make you feel bad.

Say what you want or how you feel in a strong but nice way.

If you do something wrong, don't be mad at yourself forever. Everybody makes mistakes.

Sometimes, think about the things you do and why you do them. This helps you stay true to yourself.

When you do something good, even if it's small, give yourself a pat on the back.

Think about the good things in your life. This can make you feel happier and better about yourself.