This Took Me Forever Bc Of Art Block But I Have A Lot Of Emotions About Adult Finn And How He Must Be

this took me forever bc of art block but i have a lot of emotions about adult finn and how he must be grieving jake. sigh

i never finished my design of dan like... a year or two ago sooooo heres this <3

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in light of the new adventure time dropping please take some of my thoughts on Fern

being fundamentally the same person in every single way except youre Not. and you know you should be but for some reason youre just Not. and people dont treat you the same because youre not the person they know and love (but you are, you should be) and you dont do things the same as the you that you want to be because there is a literal demon clinging to your heart keeping you alive and it makes you meaner and angrier and upset with the world that gave you a form. and the You that you want to be (finn) is so kind to you and reaches out to you and thinks of you as a brother. and you hate yourself for feeling envy and bitterness towards him. you hate yourself for letting that anger take you over and you hurt the Good you because thats all you know how to do- youre bad and he is good and that is what youre supposed to do. that is all you are. you are the second finn, you are not finn, you are Fern and you are not human and youre not real. but you want so desperately to be real and good and everything finn has without even trying. 

and when finn kills fern (or so he thinks) he is heartbroken and shaken and devastated that that is what they came to. and that he had done that. because fern could not see anything but anger but finn would never kill someone let alone a living being he believed to be good. Fern believes that finn killed him on purpose, that they are enemies, and he hates finn. he vows to kill him. he teams up with the biggest baddest and he changes his form to spikes and thorns and he never shows his face because showing his face would mean being a mirror of finn and he cant bear to share that likeness anymore 

but when finn finally proves to him that they are on the same team fern has no time to process. he fights against golb and he fights for Ooo and for his friends and his family that do not consider him a friend or their family because he is not Finn (but he is, he shares his memories all the same) and then he asks to be planted at the treehouse. and then he dies. and his life was sad and angry and confused and finally, for a moment, peaceful. and his legacy was not one of rage or destruction or toxicity but one of love. A tree reaching to the clouds and beyond and showing how much he loved and how much he cared and how much he would live on in the hearts of others

little star