I Will Follow You Into The Dark

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Here’s another piece I’ve written during depressing times, and I hope you’ll like it as much as you like my fluffy and sometimes sexually awkward stories. 

Get ready to see guitar-playing Mark Lee again here, so here’s a photo of that for you. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Although I’m not her biggest fan, I never thought that Sulli’s death would leave an impact on me. This piece was inspired by her passing last year, and my favorite comfort song whenever someone precious to me dies. 

POV: 3rd person this time. 

Word count: 1,300 + words 

Warning: There are mentions of self-harm here since Essie hasn’t been cured of it yet. 

Recommended listening: The title of the piece should already be a giveaway, but as always, I’ll put it down below so you can listen to it repeatedly while you read this. 

–––

Essie couldn’t believe it. One of her close friends, Yuki, committed suicide. There wasn’t any alarm or warning. She didn’t notice that her friend was struggling. Yuki was always smiling, comforting her every time she ranted about her life. Although they didn’t always meet, their phone conversations made up for it.

Whenever she was left alone in the house, one of the people she would always call was her. Pretty, timid, and kind Yuki. She looked delicate on the outside, but it turns out she was even more on the inside.

Essie learned the news from Aoi, a common friend of theirs. The girl was crying over the phone, and it took a couple of tries for Essie to understand the situation.

“Yuki’s dead, Essie. She hanged herself.”

The phone slipped out of her hand first before her body came next, hitting the cold floor with a hard thud. They were of the same age.

As she picked up the phone again, Aoi had already dropped the line. She sighed in frustration and wept at the sofa.

Good thing she was alone – she screamed at the top of her lungs first before bursting into tears once more.

\\\

Essie was a horrible mess the day after. She didn’t talk to Johnny or Mark. She was staying at their apartment for now since hers was under repair.

At first, the two guys chalked it up to PMS. But when they found out from Nini what happened, Johnny was the first to bang on Essie’s door.

“Baby, please open up,” he pleaded, close to tears at how his best friend had suddenly shut him off.

Essie wasn’t responding. She was curled up in a ball on her bed, still in her pajamas. Her mind was clouded with all the bad thoughts she had been repressing.

When someone takes their own life, she always had the itch to do the same.

She had a new pair of scissors on her desk. She also had a sharp letter opener inside one of her drawers. There were many objects that she could draw blood from.

She tuned out the world to listen to her diabolical yet devastating thoughts until it bored her to sleep.

\\\

When she did get out of her room, she saw Mark on the couch with his guitar. Her mouth was itching to say something, but it never came.

She did her best to move silently so he wouldn’t bother her. She just wanted to be alone, but at the same time, she couldn’t be left alone.

Both guys didn’t know of her suicidal tendencies, and if they do, they would never leave her side.

As Essie rummaged through the fridge (it was a bit far from the couch so she didn’t mind if Mark could hear the clinking of glass against plastic), she heard him strum the introduction of one of her favorite songs.

Love of mine, someday you will die                    

But I'll be close behind and I'll follow you into the dark

He always surprised her with the songs he sang with his guitar as of late. She couldn’t help but get teary-eyed again as he sang the melancholic song.  

Yuki was one of the people she truly cherished. They were childhood friends, just like with Nini. Although the latter was her forever classmate, Yuki became her close friend when they always joined the same clubs. They joined the choir, the dance club, and even the bookworm one. They kept in touch even if they went to different high schools and colleges. Now that they were both working, they still called each other almost daily.

However, all of that is gone as she took her own life yesterday.

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied

And illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

She got a pitcher of water from the fridge and closed it gently, still wanting not to be heard by Mark. On the contrary, the younger guy knew she was out of her room. He had a keen sense of listening, and he was familiar with how her footsteps sounded.

To sympathize with her situation, he decided to play a song that he thought fit the situation. He found one in her playlist, and it took him an hour to learn it.

And the soles of your shoes

Are all worn down

The time for sleep is now

But it's nothing to cry about

'Cause we'll hold each other soon in the blackest of rooms

He heard her sniffle, but he had to finish the song. He closed his eyes to concentrate, hoping he did justice to one of Death Cab for Cutie’s masterpieces.

As he strummed the last chord, he waited in silence if she would go to him or not. He was shocked that she did, holding a glass of water.

“Thanks for playing that, Mark. That was beautiful,” she started, her voice hoarse from crying.

He patted the space beside him, and she sat. She put the glass on the table first before she got a pillow to cover her rumpled pajamas.

“I’ve heard about Yuki…” he said, rubbing the back of his neck out of nervousness. He didn’t want to make her cry with his words. “And I thought of singing this song because I’m also empathizing with you…” He looked at his guitar as he ended his statement, afraid of her reaction.

“Thank you again, Mark. That’s sweet of you,” he heard her say gently, and he also heard the rustling of fabric. He suddenly felt warm, and he saw that her hand was on top of his.

“M-May I?” He asked, looking at her hand and his. She nodded, and he clasped it in his clammy hand. She didn’t mind it at all – it was the thought that mattered.

They held each other’s hand for a moment, feeling each other’s warmth. Eventually, he had to place the guitar on the floor as they faced each other. He saw how depressed she looked – her eyes were puffy and red, and there were tear stains on her clothes.

He wanted to hug her right then and there, which took him a lot of courage to do. It took him a few minutes before he pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her. He cradled her to his chest, and she buried her face on his shoulder.

Their embrace comforted her, and he even gently rocked their bodies together. “I’m here, Essie noona…I’ll always be here for you,” Mark said softly, one of his hands combing through her curly locks.

The older girl continued to cry, her face still on his shoulder. Her arms were loosely wrapped around his neck, which he had to adjust from time to time as he could feel them getting limp.

This was the closest they have ever been, and deep inside, he wished this moment would never end.

Alas, all good things come to an end – Johnny texted him that tomorrow morning was Yuki’s funeral. He texted Mark because it was futile to talk to his best friend, even though the information he was sharing was for her.

If only his hyung knew that he and Essie were having a moment right now…

As he told her of this information, the girl could only nod her head and broke off from his hold. She trudged towards her bedroom, and he helped her, one arm looped around her shoulder.

Once she was settled on her bed, he tucked her in and planted a kiss on her temple. “We’ll go there with you if you want,” he said as one of his hands found its way into her hair again. He loved combing through her hair and seeing how satisfied she is whenever he took out some difficult knots.

“Yes, please. I need you two,” she murmured. Mark continued to play with her hair until she fell asleep.

“Sweet dreams, my dear Essie noona,” he whispered before closing the door to her room.

–––

FIN

Photography

Since I ruined the flow of my scheduled posts, I’m going to be more careful about it moving forward. 

Anyway, let’s get back to our regular programming with some Johnny and Essie goodness. Of course, a photo of Johnny with his camera is the perfect cover image for this story! 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Most NCTzens know, especially if they are Johfams, that The One and Only Johnny Suh is into photography. This piece is an ode to that, aside from being quite autobiographical. Don’t worry though, it isn’t anything dramatic or tear-jerking.

POV: 2nd person. 

Word count: 1.300 + words

Warning: Essie’s a bit angsty on this one because photography’s a sore subject to her. 

–––

Aside from his phone, Johnny never leaves the house without his camera.

It was one of the top-of-the-line point-and-shoot cameras, and whenever he went out with you, he always whipped it out to take photographs of just about anything that fancied him.

Most of the time, you would roll your eyes at him as he got down to business. He would crouch on bushes or squeeze himself in small spaces to get a perfect shot.

“Photography is art, darling,” he said with an obnoxious French accent, ignoring your sarcastic remarks. You would wait for him to finish taking photos before the two of you resumed walking to your destination.

Over time, you got used to it. You would wait for him by amusing yourself with your phone. You would either scroll through your social media or message your friends. If you weren’t doing either, you were writing on your Notes app.

Photography reminds me of my father was the latest thing you wrote, which Johnny was able to read over your shoulder.

“Really? How come?” His voice startled you, and you elbowed him on the gut. He winced in pain, and you apologized, absentmindedly rubbing the part you hurt him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. And you surprised me,” you said. He gave you a thumbs-up first before he was able to compose himself. “So, will you answer my question again?”

Images of you and your father making your way through a busy crowd and taking photos resurfaced in your mind, along with memories of you two eating at a dingy Chinese restaurant after.

To be honest, you weren’t comfortable talking about it just yet.

You shook your head and gave him an apologetic smile. “I don’t feel sharing it now,” you said softly, turning on your heel and walking away from him.

Photography was definitely your father’s biggest influence on who you are now. Back in college, you were the girl always lugging around a DSLR. There were times that you brought two lenses and kept your other paraphernalia in a lunchbox.

You enjoyed fashion photography the best, often asking your classmates to pose for you and coming up with ideas for fashion editorials. You claimed to be a very visual person, considering you pored through every magazine lying on your couch when you were bored at home. Yes, that included men’s magazines that you weren’t supposed to be looking at when you were nine years old.

That was all in the past now, considering you sold your camera four years ago. Now you didn’t have one, and you didn’t feel as inspired taking photos with your phone.

It felt like there was a part of you that withered, eventually being replaced with other interests.

\\\

You were both amused and sad when friends have been posting the photographs you took during your hobby heyday.

One of them used it as her profile picture, while the other reposted an album of your photographs to prove something to her haters. You were tagged on their posts, and you had no choice but to like and comment on them.

If only I have my camera back, why not? I’ll get back to having more shoots with you guys was your comment, which once again Johnny saw as he walked behind you.

The two of you were at his apartment, just lounging around. You were waiting for Kibum and Ten to arrive so you could decide what to do after. Johnny was pacing in his apartment until he saw you typing away furiously on your phone.

“Oh, so you did photography work before!” You whipped your head to his direction and glared at him. “What about it?” You grumbled, going back to your response. You hit ‘Send’ and focused your attention on him.

“Show me your work, silly!” He plopped down beside you and leaned towards your phone. You moved a bit farther from him and clutched your phone towards your chest.

“No, I don’t want to. And it’s not that good,” you grumbled, getting a pillow with your free hand. Your other hand tightly gripped on your phone since you know how Johnny can be sneaky and grab things from you.

“Hey, don’t be like that. I’m sure you had beautiful photos if your friends want you to get back to it again,” he said softly, moving closer to you. “Please, may I look at your photographs?”

How could you say no when he practically looked like a pleading Puss in Boots in Shrek? He was even wearing an orange sweater to add to the effect.

“Fine,” you muttered, opening your Facebook app and scrolling through your albums. When you found the album where you showcased your photographs, he squealed in delight. Most of them were edited to have a vintage effect, but you knew what mattered to him the most was the feel of the photo.

You handed him your phone, and like an excited toddler, he scrolled through the images on the album. “Wow, these are great!” You heard him say a few seconds later. “Oh, this is beautiful! She looks like a fairy!” He showed you a photo of your friend, dressed in a brown chiffon dress, dramatically posing with an antique tree behind her.

“We almost got reported by the campus police for taking photographs without a permit,” you admitted, making him chuckle. “Sometimes, you’ve got to break the rules to get that perfect shot,” he said as he patted your shoulder.

Both of you browsed at your photo gallery, and he shared his feelings on most of them. He found them beautiful and even loved the editing you did on some of them. “Thanks, Youngho,” you said, slowly getting the phone from him. He noticed what you were doing and moved the phone toward him. “We aren’t done yet! You have more, right?” He was charming you to share more, but you knew that was enough.

You yanked the phone away and told him firmly: “That’s enough for today.”

An awkward silence filled the room, and you sulked in a corner. You wondered why photography was still a touchy subject with you, especially when you’re with your best friend.

\\\

One day, Johnny decided to give you a camera. Not just any camera, but his camera.

Your eyes widened in shock as he placed it on your hands. You were in his apartment again, hanging out like the clingy best friends that you are.  

“Take it, baby,” he said, moving your fingers so the camera doesn’t slip off your hands.

“But why though?” You looked at the device on your hands, which felt surreal.

“You need it. And I want you to take photos with me,” he tilted your chin so you could see the smile on his face. You could tell it was genuine, and it made you smile in return.

“But if you’re giving me this, then you don’t have one?” You peered into his bag and saw that he has another one.

“I’m giving you a brand new one. I still have mine,” he pointed to the model that was still in his bag.

“But this is too much! And this model’s expensive,” you started babbling, ignoring the thoughtful look he was giving you. “How on earth am I going to repay you?”

“There’s no need, consider it an early present from me. Happy birthday, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!” He greeted, laughing at how absurd it was to say those things at the end of October.

You placed the camera on the coffee table first before you hugged him. “Thank you Youngho, you’re the best,” you mumbled against his sweater.

“Anything for my sweet darling Essie,” he said, stroking your curly mane.

You remained in your intimate position for a moment until someone knocked on the door. “That must be Yuta,” he said, breaking away from the hug.

You watched him get the door, looking now and then at the camera that he gave you.

My dad would be proud, you thought. That could mean anything – your father would be proud that you’re getting back into the hobby, or he could be proud that you found a partner who loves it as much as he did.

–––

FIN

Housemates (Jaehyun)

Of course, I had to do my version of having Jeong Jaehyun as a housemate. Expect fluffy happenings and realizations on his part in this piece. 

As always, here’s a Jaehyun GIF for you. I just want to poke and squish his cheeks here!  

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Like the previous ones, this story is inspired by this post. There was one item that I wasn’t able to write about, and one of the scenarios here is inspired by real life. Can you guess what that is? 

POV: This has a mix of both 2nd and 3rd POVs since I wrote them at different times. 

Word count: 2,100 + words, which is the longest I have for this series. 

Warning: Truthfully, I wrote this piece sort of a prelude to their affair, so expect that he’s quite sweet with Essie on this. 

–––

There was a time in Essie’s life that she and Jaehyun were housemates before their affair. Maybe that experience was why the guy fell for her but still didn’t do anything about it until it was too late.

Essie stayed in Jaehyun’s old place when he and Taeil were still housemates. This time, Taeil was staying with Donghyuck since they became closer over time. Not that the old roommates weren’t friends anymore; they just grew apart.

Essie and Taeil loved bonding over music and cats. Jaehyun will observe them from afar, with his trademark dimpled smile, as they played with kittens while listening to Frank Ocean.

“Are you guys hungry?” The pink-haired guy interrupted their moment, moving closer to them so they will notice his presence. “Yeah, we are!” Essie and Taeil said at the same time, which made them giggle afterward. “Aren’t you hungry too, Ying?” The girl cooed at the white kitten on her lap. “I’m sure Yang is hungry!” The guy beside her said, stroking the fur of the black kitten he now carried in his arms.

Jaehyun chuckled at his housemates before grabbing his coat. “I’ll get you your favorites, please wait for me.”

“Okay, bye! Take care!” Both voices said at the same time, along with the soft meowing of kittens.

\\\

“I can’t sleep,” Essie whined one evening when she appeared in Jaehyun’s room. The girl was dressed in men’s pajamas, which she probably swiped from Johnny.

“How can I help you sleep?” The guy asked, motioning her to come further into his room. She walked hesitantly towards the small chair beside his shelf of knick-knacks, her eyes roaming all over his room.

“Your place looks cute and cozy, it’s very you,” she commented before taking a seat on said small chair.

Jaehyun had just closed the door to his room and was now standing in front of Essie. “Thanks sweetie, that’s very thoughtful of you,” he sat across from her on the edge of his bed, “but what would you want to do now?”

She assumed a thinker’s pose – hands cradling her chin – and hummed. “Are you watching anything right now?”

“A series? Let’s see,” he got his phone and checked Netflix. “Just re-runs of ‘Friends’. Would you like to watch it with me?”

She nodded eagerly, and he set up the television. “Thanks, dude. Maybe watching a series might make me sleepy,” she mumbled as she was now seated on one part of his bed.

“No problem, my sweet Essie. I’m happy to help you out,” he said as he plopped on the space beside her as the iconic introduction of the series now played.

A few episodes in and Jaehyun noticed that the girl was yawning. “Okay, I think you’re sleepy now,” he whispered. She gave a small nod before yawning loudly. “Thanks again, Jay. Sorry if I had to crash here just so I can be sleepy.”

“Anything for you, sweetie.” He squeezed her hand, which she returned. “Just drop by when you have a problem or something.”

She got up from the bed and waved silently before leaving his room. This was one of those moments that he felt weird and warm at the same time – he was slowly falling for her.

Maybe he should stop giving her pet names? That might be the reason why he found her more attractive each day. Or maybe he’s just making an excuse because he has always been interested in her from the start.

\\\

“Good morning, honey,” Jaehyun greeted Essie, who looked like she needed more hours of sleep despite sleeping for more than the recommended 8 hours.

“Honey? Yesterday I was sweetie,” she mumbled while rubbing her eyes. “You never seem to run out of nicknames for me, eh?”

“Yup, as long as I think of anything to call you, I’ll call you that.” He said, smiling at her as he handed her the box of cereal. “Do you want anything else?”

“Milk, of course. How am I supposed to eat this without it?” Essie shook the box in front of him in annoyance.

He chuckled at her reaction and handed her a carton of milk from the fridge. “You just want some milk, okay then,” he muttered.

This got her laughing as she remembered a viral video of him studying for his English oral exams, and netizens highlighted that line as one of his iconic moments.

“Don’t you dare bring it up, honey,” he grumbled as he got a bowl and spoon for her.

“But that was really funny, Yoon Oh!”

His only response was a glare, which didn’t faze Essie at all. Instead, she burst into laughter and even slapped the table for emphasis.

\\\

“You poor baby,” Jaehyun said, brushing the strands of Essie’s hair away from her face. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this, usually I get better with meds and rest,” the girl replied, her voice a bit hoarse.

Essie got sick during the second week of her stay in Jaehyun and Taeil’s apartment. The latter was out, and it was just her and the former at home.

At first, she was just sneezing more than usual. Then, she was coughing. Soon enough, she had to wear a facemask despite her aversion to them. Jaehyun noticed that her eyes were red and watery as well.

When he decided to check on Essie a while ago, he saw that she was completely wrapped in her comforter even if the AC was on. He took matters into his own hands, and that’s why they ended up like this.

“I heard from Johnny that your mom always made you warm calamansi juice whenever you got sick,” he said as he reached for the mug on her bedside table.

She got teary-eyed as she took the mug from him. “You didn’t have to do this for me,” she said before taking a sip. “I just needed more rest, that’s all.”

“You’ll get better faster when there’s someone to take care of you.”

Essie felt her insides warm up even more with Jaehyun’s comment, and she drank more of the juice he made her.

“I also made some chicken noodle soup. Everything to get your flu out of the way, okay?” He flashed her a smile and patted her thigh.

Essie was practically burning from his touch but did her best not to show that she felt such. She smiled weakly and went back to sleep.

Despite Jaehyun’s good intentions, his actions made Essie’s temperature go higher.

“And I thought you’ll be better faster with my warm offerings,” he said the following day as he got the thermometer from her.

“I’m sorry, but as I said, I need more rest. But you can make me more of that warm calamansi juice though. Please?” She attempted to bat her eyelashes at him, which made Jaehyun giggle.

“Alright, I’ll make you more of that. I’m glad you love it though,” he said as he kissed her temple.

“Thank you, Jay. You’re the best. Your future girlfriend will be so lucky to have you,” she murmured before closing her eyes.

He took one last look at her before going to the kitchen to prepare her drink.

Yes, Essie. You are lucky to have me.

\\\

One of the things that irked you when you were roommates with Jaehyun was that he always had to put his game on loudspeaker.

You groaned as you heard the sound of machine guns, a female voice screaming ‘Victory’, and conversations between the characters of the game.

“Jay, would you turn it down a bit? I’m trying to focus here,” you said as poked your head in his room.

He was intent on killing the enemy on the screen, and it took him a couple of seconds to respond to your request. He paused the game and flashed you an apologetic smile.

“Sorry about that, I’ll just lower the volume. I like playing games with the sound on, it gets me more in the mood.”

You rolled your eyes at his answer and closed the door. You hoped that he would do what he said since even your noise-canceling headphones weren’t strong enough to block the noises of his game.

Maybe it’s about time that you replace that Bose hand-me-down from your sister.

\\\

You were surprised to see two shirts, a pair of joggers, and a hoodie that wasn't yours in your hamper.

You examined the tags and realized that these clothes belonged to Jaehyun. Your rooms were just beside each other, with your hamper placed outside your room.

Since it was just outside, it was convenient for you to dump your laundry there. And maybe he thought the same since he also did with his clothes on your hamper.

“Jay…” You started as you poked your head in his room again. He was lying on his bed scrolling through his phone. He wore his headband, a black shirt, and a pair of shorts. He looked comfortable in his position – a bit of his torso showed as the shirt had risen.

“Yeah?” He said without turning around. When you squinted your eyes to look at what he was doing, you chuckled. He was responding to tweets from friends and fans.

“May I ask why you put some of your laundries in my basket?”

This got him to stand up immediately and rush to the hamper outside your rooms. “Sorry about that, Essie,” he said, plucking out his clothes that you have now carefully folded on top of yours. “It’s just easier to dump them there than put them in my hamper inside the room.”

“Then why not just put your hamper outside then? I’m sure ours don’t look the same,” you said, peeking into his room for his basket.

Shoot, it looked like yours as well – a wicker basket with a lid and linen lining inside.

“No wonder you’ve been putting your clothes in mine,” you groaned as you dragged the basket outside. “I’ll just put a label on which one’s yours and mine, okay?”

The guy nodded, opening the lid of his hamper and dumping his laundry in. “I’m sorry, Essie. This won’t happen again.”

But of course, it still happened again even if you have put labels on your baskets. Maybe that’s just the way it is with Jaehyun – you’ll always have to segregate what’s yours and his in your respective hampers.

If you only knew that he liked to put his clothes in your basket so it could mingle with the scent of yours. It’s a little bit creepy and sweet at the same time – who knew that the heartthrob has a side like this, eh?

\\\

“I can’t sleep again.”

You said, hoping your voice was loud enough for him through the wall.

“Well, we can talk if you want. Do you want to come here?”

Jaehyun answered, his voice loud enough to penetrate through the wall.

“I’m too tired to move, dude. My legs feel like jelly from bowling, which I haven’t played in ages.” You rubbed your thighs in hopes that they feel a bit better.

You heard him chuckle first before he responded to your comment. “Well, I suppose you didn’t stretch first?”

“Ugh, I forgot about that! I’ll take note of that next time. Anyway, what’s up with you?”

“I’m trying to compose something. I’m talking to you as I sit in front of my keyboard right now.”

“Do you have any chords in mind to start it off?”

“Well, here it goes,” he said, pressing a couple of chords that sounded melancholic. “That seems fitting for an emotional song,” you commented. “Have you thought about the lyrics?”

Your conversation continued even if there was a wall separating you two. Taeil wasn’t at the apartment right now as he went home to his parents. Lately, it’s always you and Jaehyun who hung out. You missed Taeil since only the two of you loved cats, and he brought Ying and Yang home.

As you and your housemate worked on a song together, you couldn’t help but feel warm inside. The AC in your room was on, but the warmth blooming inside you rendered it almost useless. It was nice talking to Jaehyun like this. You were able to collaborate on a song together even if you didn’t have to see each other’s faces.

Before you knew it, sunlight peeked in through your curtains. “Wow, dude. We’ve been talking for what, four to five hours straight? It’s now 5 in the morning.”

“Yeah, Essie. I can’t believe it as well,” he chortled. You heard the sound of a chair being moved and took it as a cue to wrap things up.

“Thanks for talking to me, Jay. And I’m glad that I was able to help you out with your composition.” You said, now lying on your bed instead of sitting on it.

“Sure thing, anything for you. Like I always say, right?” He never seemed to stop chuckling at his words, but you didn’t let it get to you for now.

“Good night, Jaehyun.”

“Good morning, Essie.”

–––

FIN

If you guessed that having warm calamansi juice while being sick is inspired by real life, then you are correct. I miss it though! 

Housemates (Mark)

Before I share another serious post, I’m introducing this short series of NCT members (particularly my biases) as Essie’s housemates. Like most of my writing, this is going to be fluffy and hilarious if you believe it to be. 

Fun fact is, Mark’s the first NCT member I wrote a story about. Should I post that here? Let me know! After all, I liked him in Super M first. Not that I don’t love the group anymore, but I am more in love with NCT than any other group now. 

Without further ado, please enjoy this feel-good piece and this adorable GIF of him!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: I was inspired to write this because of this Instagram post. Most of the scenes here, and for the rest that will follow, are based on these scenarios. 

POV: 2nd person since this was written last year. 

Word count: 1,700 + words

Warning: Aside from the fluff, maybe there’s a teeny bit of angst with Johnny not relating to them. That’s about it! 

–––

Since you moved in with Johnny and Mark, your life has never been more exciting. Sure, living with Nini was nice and all, but there were more challenges living with two guys.

First, Mark was a messy guy in comparison to Johnny. The younger guy’s clothing can be seen everywhere in the house – a hoodie on a dining seat, a pair of shorts on the couch, and a t-shirt on top of the shower curtain.

However, it bothered you when he left his pants in your bedroom. “Mark Lee,” you started, “why did your pants end up here in my bedroom?” You held the pair of khakis in your hands and looked at it with disdain.

He gave you a sheepish grin before grabbing it from your hands. “I’m sorry, Essie noona, I thought this was my bedroom when I came here late at night yesterday. I was kind of drunk, so…”

You remembered that you slept over at Ten’s when you had to ask him for help on a project. Johnny was out of town, and Mark was the only one left in the apartment. You didn’t know that he ended up in your bed when you were out, and it made you blush.

“Make sure this doesn’t happen again, okay?” You softened your voice this time, and he nodded in response.

“I’m really sorry about this. How can I make it up to you?” Mark looked at you with puppy eyes and all your irritation on what he did vanish.

“Well, I suppose you can let me choose the movie we’re going to watch later tonight,” you said after carefully thinking of your answer.

“Sure, no problem! Would you like some coffee as well? My treat,” he flashed you a smile as he hung his pants over his shoulder.

“Johnny gets that for me usually, but since he’s not here, why not? You already know my order, right?”

“White Chocolate Mocha with low-fat milk and no whip.”

“That’s a good boy. Now,” you looked at him sternly again, “leave my room before I kick your butt!”

\\\

In the end, you decided to watch ‘A Serbian Film’. You were up for a horrible mindfuck, and Mark was hesitant on your pick.

“I mean, it’s okay if we watch a silly rom-com. I won’t mind at all,” He offered, scrolling through his Netflix account for a feel-good movie to watch.

“But aren’t you curious why it has a cult following, and why it’s banned?” You asked, eyes sparkling in excitement.

“Essie, don’t corrupt poor baby Mark,” Johnny chimed in, grabbing the DVD of the said film from your hands. He had just arrived from his trip and still had the energy to join you guys.

“What do you suggest we watch then?” You pouted, trying to get the DVD Johnny confiscated.

“How about ‘Benji’?” Mark’s suggestion got the taller guy squealing. “Oh my, let’s watch that! I haven’t watched a dog movie in ages!”

You noticed that Mark was laughing at his hyung’s reaction, which made you smile. His joy was contagious and later, you were laughing along. Johnny couldn’t stop gushing about dogs that eventually, you had to shut him up when Mark has already set up the television.

\\\

There were times Johnny can’t relate to you and Mark. For instance, both of you were almost in tears because of an inside joke only you and he have.

The three of you were eating dinner at home when a cucumber slice fell off your plate. This got Mark laughing, probably remembering the joke you two had about said vegetable one night ago.

You shot him a glare, but he didn’t see it. He kept on laughing until Johnny raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s so funny about a cucumber slice, Mark Lee?” You and Johnny tend to call the younger guy that whenever you berated him.

“Oh, nothing. Please, just ignore me,” He waved his hand to show that he was making a fuss out of nothing, but you weren’t buying it.

All of you continued eating in silence, but another cucumber slice fell off your plate again. “Essie, can you please look where your food is going?” Johnny sounded annoyed as he pointed his fork at the cucumber slice on the table.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” you mumbled, using your fork to get the vegetable. When you stabbed it too hard, Mark burst into laughter.

“Maaaark!” You and Johnny scolded, which the younger guy ignored. “But Essie noona!” he wheezed in between his laughter, pointing at the cucumber.

Eventually, you gave in and laughed as well. You had to admit, that was a pretty funny joke that you made.

Johnny groaned at the sight of you and Mark laughing your brains out. “If you don’t want to loop me in, then I’m going to excuse myself,” he said, quietly leaving the table.

You didn’t notice his absence as you and Mark continued to build upon your joke and laugh some more.

\\\

When you couldn’t sleep at night, you were grateful for their presence. Usually, Nini fell asleep on you while you blabbered about the existence of aliens or other conspiracy theories you watched on YouTube.

Now that you were living with the boys, they accompanied you on the couch with their preferred drink of choice – non-decaf coffee for Johnny and melon milk for Mark – and talked to you about anything.

However, there was a time that the older guy was the first to retire from your late-night talks. “I’m hitting the hay,” he said in between yawning. “Night, babies,” he patted Mark’s head while he pecked your cheek.

You resumed talking about crystal skulls as you and Mark curled in your respective corners of the sofa. You were animatedly discussing how they presumably came to be, and when he shared his opinion, you noticed that he also mimicked your hand gestures.

Before you knew it, the sun had already risen. Rays of sunlight peeked through the curtains, and you saw that Mark yawned.

“Well, let’s wrap this up,” you started to get up from the couch, “and go to sleep. All it took for you to yawn was the sun, eh?” You kid, making the younger guy chuckle.

“Thanks for spending some time with me, Marky.”

There was no sign of him getting up from the couch. “I’m too tired to get up now. I’ll sleep here,” he mumbled while grabbing one of the pillows beside him.

“Okay, I’ll go now,” you ruffled his hair before going back to your bedroom. “Sleep tight.”

\\\

“Dude, are you going to be there the whole day?”

You heard Johnny say from across your bedroom. You were reading a book, the door of your room slightly open when you heard one of your housemates talk in an exasperated manner.

No one responded. All you could hear was the loud sound of water coming from the shower.

“It’s been an hour already, Mark Lee!” Johnny was pounding on the door already. “I can’t hold it in anymore!”

“Hold up! I’m not yet done!” Mark finally spoke, making the older guy groan. “The other bathroom’s out of service, and I need to shit now!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how hilarious this conversation was going, and even stood up to peek how Johnny was doing. He was crouching on the door, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “Please Mark, hurry up,” he murmured, rubbing his stomach.

“Mark, please, Johnny needs to use the bathroom right now,” you shouted, hoping that he will understand his hyung’s predicament. You rushed to Johnny’s side and rubbed his back, which he appreciated. “Thanks, baby, I hope it helps,” he whispered.

A few minutes later, Mark emerged from the bathroom, and Johnny pushed him aside immediately. This made the younger guy stumble, and you stepped aside so he doesn’t fall over you. He fell flat on his face, and he cried in pain. “Johnny hyung, that hurt!” He said, clutching his knee towards his chest. You helped him stand up, and you saw that his ears were all red.

You just helped Mark Lee stand up from a humiliating fall while wearing a towel around his waist.

“Thanks, Essie noona,” he mumbled. You nodded and patted him on the back. “Please try to lessen your shower hours if you can, okay? Unless the other bathroom’s fixed, then I won’t stop you.”

Your words inspired him to make the repairs to the other bathroom to be done as soon as possible as he had a hand in fixing it.

Looks like no one can stop him and his long-ass showers.

\\\

“How about this, Essie noona?” Mark asked, holding up an orange hoodie in front of you.

You were in his bedroom as he wanted your opinion on what he would wear to a blind date set up by Yuta.

“Isn’t that a bit too casual? Where is the date going to happen?” You looked at the hoodie again, which was oversized and had text printed on the sleeves.

“It’s going to be a casual one,” he said, eyeing the garment as well, “maybe at a park or a café? I don’t want to be too overdressed.”

“Get another one. It’s too loud. And why are you asking me this instead of Johnny?”

Mark grinned first before he rubbed the back of his neck. “I want to ask you for a change, noona. I want to know what kind of clothing girls like their men to wear on a first date…”

His comment made you smile since he thought that your opinion mattered. “To be honest Marky, it doesn’t matter. But if you want to leave a good impression, try dressing up a little bit. Maybe a short-sleeve shirt with a vest on top? That’s a bit dorky and cute, just like you.”

When you realized that you told him that he was both dorky and cute, you covered your mouth. You just hoped he didn’t hear it.

“Oh, that’s a great suggestion. Okay, I’ll go with that. Thanks!” He gave you a fist bump, which you returned enthusiastically. “Sure thing, little bro. Good luck on your date!”

You left Mark’s bedroom thinking about how you wish you can tag along, and see how his blind date will turn out.

Maybe you and Johnny can go undercover and spy on him? You rushed into the room beside you, hoping that he will agree with your plan.

–––

FIN

P.S. Plot twist: Yuta is Mark’s blind date! And what could be his inside joke with Essie about cucumbers?

AMA/Chat With Me

Since I have shared my tenth story already, it’s about time that we get to know each other better! 

Due to some editing errors, I have already shared two of my scheduled posts supposedly for tomorrow and on Tuesday. That makes it twelve stories now as you read this.

Leave me a question, share with me some writing prompts I should know about, and most importantly, you can leave me fanfic requests! For now, I will only take NCT 127 ones. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

Do I Wanna Know?

This is the first Johnny and Essie fic that I’ve written officially, and I was greatly challenged by my first audience who happens to be my childhood best friend to do this. According to the postscript of my draft, this was quite taxing to write. 

I wasn’t that in love with Johnny yet when I wrote this last year, hence that reaction. But it’s a whole new different story now. How can I not fall in love with him looking at me like that in the GIF?!

I hope you enjoy this dramatic piece, and then we’ll get to the point where they finally get together with the help of their other best friend. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Best friends Johnny and OC (or are they still?) become awkward with each other when he confesses his love to her. Despite their situation, they manage to talk to avoid conflict with their other best friend, since they don’t want to ruin their friendship with him. 

POV: 2nd person. I switch between this and 3rd person a lot. 

Word count: 1,300 + words

Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt 

Warning: You get to meet other idols in this fic too and another OC who I hinted at in my Preface post. I hope you like their presence here! 

Recommended listening: Of course, ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ by the Arctic Monkeys (which Johnny has also mentioned in NNN), and ‘In My Place’ by Coldplay (which is Johnny’s favorite band). In short, both songs are highly recommended by the man! 

–––

It has been two weeks since you and Johnny talked.

You weren’t used to not messaging or calling him daily, but what happened between the two of you was something you haven’t fully processed yet.

He admitted that he likes you more than just a friend. And if you were just completely honest with yourself, you know that you like him in that same way too.

You looked at the phone in your hand, its screen still black. No one was messaging or calling you. When you and Johnny were talking, your screen was bright and alive with his presence.

He often called to share whatever he was doing so he wouldn’t lose his English speaking ability. On the other hand, you called him usually in the wee hours of the morning so the stray dogs that litter the streets won't distract you. You were glad that he always picked up the phone when you needed him the most, but now you can’t say the same.

You sighed, looking around the apartment for something to do. Nini and Jongin were out at a charity event, probably painting newly-built houses in an impoverished community. Taemin was busy as always with his dancing, and Mark was out of town. Who can you bother today? You searched your phone for your contacts until it landed on Key’s name.

Of course, Kibum. The fabulous brother that you and Johnny never had. But now that you and Johnny aren’t on speaking terms (still), how can you invite Key to hang out? He knows that you function well as a trio, and it feels incomplete without one or the other. You were afraid to call Key, for he might be out with his other friends or – the ultimate top 10 anime betrayal – he’s with Johnny.

As you exited the contacts on your phone, it rang. You didn’t answer it first since you wanted to listen to the ringtone he assigned his number to. The first verses of ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ by the Arctic Monkeys sent shivers to your spine, as you thought of Johnny doing those things to you.

Oh God, he might be on to something then when he set this on my phone ages ago, you thought. Maybe that was the time he realized his feelings for you, while you still hid yours deep in the recesses of your heart.

When the song reached the chorus, you finally answered.

“Hello, Johnny?”

“Hey, Essie,” he mumbled. You could imagine him slumped against a wall, one of his hands deep in his hoodie’s pocket.

“What can I do for you?” You tried to sound casual, but it didn’t come across that way. You felt you were on the verge of tears.

“Hey, I know this is hard…not just for you, but also for me but…do you mind if I drop by your house tonight? So we can talk?” His voice mirrored yours, and you couldn’t help but bite your lip on how painful it is to hear him like this.

“Sure, Johnny, please do,” was all you can say before he hung up. The tears have already spilled on your face, and you had to stifle your scream on a pillow to let it all out.

///

He brought your favorite food: kimchi and ice cream. You were speechless, not expecting that he’ll bring anything to his visit tonight. He spoiled you a lot, whether that’s getting you food or giving you random gifts that he thinks you’ll like. You had to remind yourself that things weren’t what they were, and maybe he did this out of respect or etiquette.

You didn’t know where to start once the both of you settled on your respective seats – you on the couch and him on the bean bag across you. “So, what do you want to talk about first?” You asked, arms clutching the pillow you cried onto tighter.

“Well...you know we’re La Fabuleux Escouade with Kibum. And he doesn’t know what I did…to you. And I don’t know how we can retain our dynamic…” He was fiddling with his thumbs while he said this, looking away from your stare.

You found it amusing that the two of you were on the same wavelength, as you were already thinking about how you can bring this up to Kibum.

“I know what you mean, but what if we…pretend that nothing happened?” You suggested, not really thinking it through. You know that you don’t want that – you want the two of you to be more than okay, and Key will be there for you guys through sickness and health.

You saw him flinch at your answer but then composed himself as it was his turn to look at you. “Nothing…happened? Just like that?” His quavering voice made you nervous that he might do something he will regret.

“I don’t know, Johnny! What do you think we should do?” You didn’t hide the frustration in your voice anymore.

“Haven’t you thought about it? The words I said? The possibility of us?” Johnny was now standing in front of you, tears about to fall from his face.

“I really don’t know, Johnny! We already have such a good friendship!” You were now standing as well, glaring at his face.

“You know we can take it further! A good friendship leads to a good relationship, haven’t you heard that?” He was looking down on you, his expression a mix of anger and hurt.

You stopped glaring and let your shoulders droop, eyes now looking at the carpeted floor.

“I really don’t know if I’m ready to take that next step, Johnny,” you whispered. “I’m scared that we might never be the same again…”

There was a moment of silence for both of you to process your feelings. You thought he was going to hit you or leave, but he did neither. What he did was something you’d expect him to do: he pulled you close to him and wiped your tears.

“We can try, Essie…please?” He asked, lowering his head so that your foreheads can touch. You shut your eyes at this intimate contact, and it was as if the whole apartment could hear your heart beating.

“Can you give me a bit more time?” You broke off from his hug, gently placing his arms beside him. You gave him a small smile, this time firm with your words.

Maybe that’s it. I’m not yet ready, but I can be with him if I want to at my own time.

“How long shall I wait?” He grabbed your hands to him, squeezing it gently. It seemed he couldn’t get enough of you after he embraced you, as his hands always found its way around you.

“That I can’t say, but it won’t be long? Just…not now. I need more time to think,” you let go of his hands, pushing them back to his side harshly this time. You couldn’t look at him, for fear that you won’t like what you’ll see in his eyes.

You felt that you were leading him on, but at the same time, you were sure that you can start something with him, maybe someday.

“Okay, Essie, if that’s what you say. I’ll wait,” he murmured. You remained standing at your spot, eyes never leaving the floor. You only heard his footsteps, until you couldn’t anymore.

He left you without saying anything. You had to understand why he did that, and maybe you did. If you were in his position, you’ll feel hurt as well.

Now that you were able to process your emotions a bit, the hard part comes when the three of you would get together eventually.

The two of you are an awkward mess, and Kibum has to set things straight, or else LBF is no more.

–––

FIN