Reality Checklist

Reality Checklist

Continuing my Jaehyun writings with this angsty piece, inspired by UNIQUE's "Reality Checklist."

I can't help but write him this way; I know he's going to act this out so well. Let's manifest Actor Jaehyun for 2022!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 3rd person

Word count: 502 words

Additional notes: If this is your first time reading my work, welcome! However, I'll be linking some writing that is in the same timeline like this one since it's part of one of my many unfinished series. Feel free to read those first or read them after this.

Warning: Uh, there's some suggestive content here.

---

He never thought it would affect him like this.

As Jaehyun took another swig of whiskey, he groaned at the thought that he was actually in love. He fell in love with the girlfriend of his best friend, and he risked everything to be with her.

He was currently in a hotel room abroad for a project, and he looked at his room in disdain. It reminded him they had a fancy dinner at a hotel and fucked afterward.

He remembered the way her teeth grazed on his dick and how delightfully painful it was for him. He took another swig of his drink before fishing out a carton of cigarettes in his pocket.

He was never one to smoke often, but tonight felt like the perfect time to do so. He would channel all his thoughts into the smoke he would let out, and hopefully, he could forget about her.

He knew he was a player, but it wasn’t explicitly known by anyone who didn’t know him personally. However, he didn’t show this side to her. She was one of the people he wanted to have, but he never thought he would be invested in her.

Most of the relationships he had were very brief due to his schedule, and most of the time, it was all about fucking. He needed that release, like most guys his age.

But when he met her, especially when they got to know each other better, he observed her well. He knew how to make her ideal coffee, he knew that she didn’t like it when he wore his cap backward, and he knew that she liked to be eaten out. He knew everything there is to know about her, compared to the other women he had been with.

Was there a thrill in being with someone who was taken already? Maybe so, he told himself, as he put out the third stick he was smoking.

His mind now raced to thoughts of how things would have turned out if he got to her first than his best friend. Would he be this observant? Would he care for her more than his ex-lovers?

“Fuck this,” he groaned for the umpteenth time, eyeing the now-empty bottle of whiskey beside him. “I should forget about her. She made her choice already. It’s not me, and it’s never been me.”

He stood up, drawing open the curtains to his dark room. It was already nighttime, and he looked at the bright and bustling cityscape. He has already seen this scenery a couple of times in different countries, and he would usually find this beautiful.

But now, he felt empty. Everyone was moving, yet here he was, still in his thoughts.

He took out his phone in his other pocket and scrolled through the numbers in his contacts. He dialed a number and pressed his phone to his ears.

“Hey, I heard you can get me someone for the night. Can you find me one by 10:30 p.m.? Thanks.”

---

FIN

Reblog if you write fic and people can inbox you random-ass questions about your stories, itemized number lists be damned.

Guilty

Dear. M made me do this. I'm posting the Jaehyun content I have written so far, and I will continue to write more.

For context, this brain fart is part of the main timeline.

There's something about an angry and heartbroken Jay that makes me want to write more...

Anyway, mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 3rd person

Word count: 890 approx.

Additional notes: I'm glad I could write the other 127 members in, especially Yuta. I'll make it a goal to include the rest of NCT in my stories when applicable.

---

Yuta felt sorry about how Jaehyun turned out after Essie called off their affair.

When Jaehyun came home from his solo project, he smoked and drank consistently after his schedule. Sometimes he drank whiskey in the mornings and decided to have a pack of cigarettes for breakfast. It was unfortunate that he coped in this way. Although it’s one of the many ways people do so, it is destructive in the long run. Yuta had to intervene; hence, he knew everything there was to know about this week-long rendezvous.

While he took it all in stride, he felt uneasy in knowing what would be one of the dirty open secrets the group now has.

As he watched Jaehyun singing his feelings out in the karaoke booth, he glanced at Taeil. The eldest in the group seemed unaffected by the situation as he flipped through the songbook, looking for another song to sing. It was just the three of them this time – Mark was busy as always, and Jungwoo had more hosting gigs these days.

“Fuck this shit,” Jaehyun growled, yanking the collar of his shirt angrily, “why can’t I still get over her?”

“Let it all out, bro,” Taeil said calmly, scanning intently for the number of the song he wanted to sing. “You’ll get over her eventually.”

“You know, Jay,” Yuta started, “Things are going to be different now, especially if Johnny figures out what you did with his girl.”

“I don’t care,” the youngest groaned, throwing himself on the sofa. “This fucking sucks.”

“Both of you are adults who made this choice, so you’ve got to live with it,” Yuta’s tone was firmer this time. “But that was very dumb of you, Jeong Yoonoh. Why did you even propose that idea to Essie?”

The sound of glass shattering on the floor startled the two older guys, and they saw Jaehyun had just flung the glass of water on the wall. He covered his face afterward, hiding the angry tears flowing on his face.

“You little shit,” Taeil grumbled, looking at the mess he made. “You have to pay for that.”

Jaehyun’s actions were getting on Yuta’s nerves, but he didn’t want to make a commotion. He took deep breaths to calm himself down, not wanting to engage in his friend’s bullshit.

A moment of awkward silence ensued before the heartbroken man spoke. “I thought she liked me. I thought she would choose me. I thought once I have her, I’d stop fooling around.”

Taeil and Yuta looked at each other, loss for words on what to say. They weren’t involved, nor would they like to be involved, in Jaehyun’s affairs. Each had their own lives once the cameras were off, and they tried their best not to get entangled in another’s business.

“You know what, Jay?” The eldest said, sporting a wicked grin on his face. “To make up for your shitty behavior tonight, I’d like you to sing this song with all the emotion you have.”

Like an obedient younger brother, Jaehyun stood beside his hyung and put in the numbers of the requested song. Yuta raised an eyebrow at them both, with Taeil holding his laughter.

“What are you up to?” the Japanese guy mouthed to his former roommate as the singer immersed himself in the song he was about to sing.

“As I’ve said earlier, he has to let it all out.”

When the iconic saxophone intro of George Michael’s (formerly of Wham!) infamous song played from the speakers, Yuta rolled his eyes at Taeil’s suggestion.

Jaehyun gave a memorable performance of the song despite his vocals sounding a bit strained due to all the crying and screaming he did for the past few weeks.

It was during the bridge part that he almost lost it.

“We could have been so good together; we could have lived this dance forever. But now who’s gonna dance with me? Please stay,” the tears pooled once again in his eyes.

The memories were still too fresh for him to forget. Fucking Essie felt so good, and he never wanted to be apart from her. They had intimate dances under the stars and by the shore. It felt surreal, but alas, all good things come to an end. It might be good for him, but it shouldn’t be.

Once he was done singing, he kept to himself on the sofa. His hyungs took their turns singing, and he watched them enjoy what they were doing.

From time to time, Yuta checked in on Jaehyun. It was always the same when they went out to karaoke bars: he would stay still, his eyes looking at nothing until the booze hit him and made him fall asleep.

Every so often, he would wake up and not speak a word until they go off in their respective rooms, or they would have to haul his ass back to his apartment.

This was getting tiring, seeing his downward spiral into depression. Yuta, known for his wise words, knew what they did was wrong. They should be held accountable for their actions. He bet both parties are hot messes right now, but he’s more concerned about Johnny. The tall guy might not take it if he learns about this rendezvous.

Everyone knows no one wants to mess with an angry Johnny Suh.

---

FIN

P.S. Did you expect I was going to let him sing Careless Whisper? Feel free to listen to it below! I think Jaehyun can pull this off flawlessly.

Angst fics can help people come to terms with their own grief, begin healing, or give people that good cry that they need.

Smut fics can help people affirm and accept their sexuality. It can help them explore their sexuality in a safe way. They can also just be fun, and having fun is a drastically undervalued way to improve your mental health.

Dark fics can help people face their fears or process their trauma. It can make them feel safer and more secure. It can help them find their courage.

Fluff fics can give people rest and respite and comfort. It can give them hope that soft places exist and that maybe there is one out there for them. It can bring up their mood, which, if they have depression, can be a life saver.

And every fic people write makes someone feel less alone.

Point being, just because a particular thing doesn’t serve you, doesn’t mean it lacks value.

This is not to say that we have to consume all fic uncritically. Of course not. It is just to say that entire “genres” aren’t trash or lacking value just because they don’t serve you.

I'm back?

So, I’ve become inactive in posting my writing again. But fret not, that doesn’t mean I have completely stopped my craft.

My mind’s been brewing with a lot of ideas, and I hope that I can share them in writing with you very soon. But for now, I’ll do what I can, and I hope for your support.

I would appreciate it if you could also comment aside from liking them. That would motivate me more to post, perhaps?

Thank you for your time reading this, and you’ll get a teaser of one of my major works shortly.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

Burnout Teaser, B-Side

I'm the type of writer who gets triggered to write something because of a song.

This is one of them, which I'm not sure if I'll include in the official timeline of Burnout. What do you think?

Mahal ko kayong lahat!

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 479 words

Additional notes: Italics are parts of the letter Y/N is reading.

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I’m the only motherfucker in the city who can handle and stand you.

That familiar line has been used on you, and you never thought it would make you cry. You loved the stripped-down version of that song, and you jokingly dedicated it to him.

He even played the song for you on the piano in a drunken state. He was never one to play the instrument often, “but for you darling, I’ll do it all again,” he slurred with a dopey grin on his face while looking at you then. You remembered returning the same smile before bursting into laughter. This happened during a party in New York that both of you crashed into, and you told him that you had no regrets about doing this. He agreed and then decided to do it again next week.

Fuck it. You couldn’t help but be reminded of how the both of you were so inseparable. The memories you had together were too vivid, beautiful, and felt like they came from an A24 movie. The tears that continued to fall felt hot on your face, but you had to carry on reading the rest of the letter.

I might not be the only person to claim that now, but I wish that the next motherfucker who will love you not turn out like me.

I hope your future partner will give you everything you have always wanted and make you feel satisfied. I also pray that you have a good future ahead.

I don’t know if this is how you wanted closure, but I hope this wraps up things between us. I loved you, Y/N. I will never forget that. But life happens. We feel things. We do things. We hurt. We never mean to, but it’s not always how the other person sees it. And I sincerely apologize again for everything.

If you think this letter brought upon more questions, I leave it up to you if you want to reach out to me. Not that I’m discouraging you, but you call the shots. I might be there, or I might not be. The future is very unpredictable.

Well, I guess that’s it. Thank you, Y/N. Goodbye.

You shut your eyes as you read the last words of his letter. Did this answer everything that had been running in your mind since he left? Will this closure help you completely move on from him?

You folded the paper hastily back into the envelope and threw yourself in your bed. It had been only a day since you got back, and then you got this surprise. Feelings that you had locked away in a chest deep in your heart resurfaced, and you promised yourself that you were okay now. But you really weren’t.

Johnny Suh still had a deep impact on you, and he was the best you ever had.

---

FIN